own."
The ball knocked him again, sending him onto the trampoline. He bounced off and grabbed the monkey bars before he hit the ground. He swung from bar to bar as the booger ball rolled over the top, leaving a slime trail behind.
Hurry up, he told himself. Move it!
The end was close. There was a tunnel nearby. He could drop down and hide inside until breaktime. The other kids would help him defeat the booger army.
But the booger king got there first. It landed on the tunnel, crushing the end. Then it rolled back over the bars, sticking to his hands. He pressed his feet on the bars to push away, but they got stuck.
"Picked and flicked is such a waste," the king said. "Picked and eaten? That is Dixon's style."
The booger ball sucked him in. First his hands, then his arms, feet, and his legs. His stomach was dragged inside until only his head was left.
Dixon thought back to that moment in the bathroom. He pictured himself washing his hands. This time he wouldn't dig around for boogers. He would wipe his nose with a tissue and go to the car. On the way to school, he'd do his homework. He'd nibble on his sandwiches. He'd even stare out the window at the same roads he'd seen since he started school four years ago. Anything, even being bored, would be better than making the booger king mad.
"Eat him," the king said. "Eat him. Chew him. Grind him. Swallow him."
"Swallow this!" Daria cried. She threw a soggy tissue at the booger ball. The water softened the booger, letting Dixon slip away. Dangling by his legs, he grabbed a tissue from Daria and slapped it on the booger king. The king roared when the ball lost its grip. It let go and fell down, taking Dixon with it.
"Attack!" Dixon shouted. "Attack!"
The twins pelted the ball with wet tissues. Boogers were watered down, sliding away from the others. They tried to rejoin the ball, but the twins stomped on them. The boogers couldn't hold on with wet hands. They were squashed into mush and covered in more tissues.
"Send more soldiers!" the king screeched. "Send a million more!"
Dixon sneezed, boogers flying out. He covered his mouth, but the boogers shot out his nose. They rolled over, repairing the ball.
"The fountain!" Daria said. "Remember what Mum said? Drink water!"
Dixon shook his head. "Don't like it." He rummaged in his pockets for something, anything, else to eat. All he needed was a chunk of chocolate. That would push the boogers back down.
He sneezed again, his mouth almost full. Daria pinched his nose before boogers could escape. She pulled him along to the fountain and turned the tap. Cool water shot out and ran down the hole.
"No," he mumbled. "No!"
The booger ball bounced towards them, higher and higher. The king's staff was pointing at them. Then the boogers flashed their jaws. Dixon looked from them to the water to them.
"Do it!" Daria shouted. "I'm running out of ammo." She pleaded with her eyes. "Please?"
Dixon opened his mouth. The boogers shot out, screaming as they were washed down the hole. Some tried to hold on, but the twins smacked them.
"Get the ball away from here," he said. Daria nodded and ran off. She threw tissues at the ball, so it bounced after her.
Dixon drank the water. It was cold, plain, tasteless. He would've liked some fruit juice, but it would have to do. The water flowed down his throat, washing away the boogers. He could hear their cries as they slid back into his stomach. He pretended to chew, making his mouth salivate. Expecting a meal, his stomach got to work. He felt lighter and lighter as his stomach tore through the army. When his burped, and nothing flew out, he knew they were gone.
"Help me!" Daria cried. "I'm out!"
Daria crawled into the tunnel. He could see her silhouette crawling to the dead end. The booger ball bounced on the other end, sealing her inside.
"Say goodbye to your other half," the king said. "Poor Dixon. How can you be a twin when you are all alone?"
The ball bounced on the tunnel and Daria screamed.
"Leave her outta this!" Dixon clenched his fists. "This is between you and me!"
"Then she should have minded her own business." The king pointed the staff at her. "She did not. It is too late now."
The ball bounced higher and higher, working down the tunnel. The king cackled before slipping into his army.
Dixon filled his mouth with water and ran to the trampoline. He jumped on it, gaining height, and then sprung off. He flew over the monkey bars and smacked into the booger ball. It sucked him in before it hit the ground.
Millions of booger eyes glared at him. The dry boogers picked him, scratching his skin. The slimy ones wrapped around him, but he kicked them off. The mushy ones stuck to his lips, ever so tempting, but he shook them off.
Find the booger king, he thought. Focus! And don't swallow!
But he couldn't see the crown or those angry red eyes. He wriggled through boogers, looking out for the king.
And there he was.
It was a flash of red. He flicked boogers away until the king was in sight. The king swung the staff, smacking Dixon's nose. Then he scurried off to a tiny throne.
Dixon fought his way over and lifted the throne. He shook it, knocking the king's crown off. Then he snatched the staff and snapped it in half. The booger soldiers rushed closer, so Dixon held the king upside down. The soldiers raised their hands and backed away.
"Young man, let us talk." The king pointed at the throne. "May I sit down?"
Dixon shook his head.
"What are your demands?"
Dixon kept his lips tightly shut, but it was getting harder not to swallow. Then the cold water hit his sensitive tooth, making it sting. The king sniggered.
"Why so silent? Are you scared?" The king laughed. "We can end all this right now...Just devour me!" The king held out his hand, a juicy piece of booger in his palm. Dixon's mouth watered, letting water trickle from his lips. It'd been an hour since his last booger meal.
He was hungry.
"Spit out the water and eat me. Go on. You know you want to." The king wriggled free and climbed up Dixon's arm. The king sat on his upper lip and stroked it. "It has been so long, poor boy."
More water trickled away. Soon his mouth was half empty. He couldn't take his eyes off the king's juicy body. His hand touched the king. The booger wasn't too dry, too slimy, too brown, too white, too big or too small.
It was perfect.
"Yes, Dixon. I am the perfect booger hence my people electing me as their ruler." He waved to his subjects and they clapped. "You will never find another like me. So, you have an important decision to make. Spit that water on me and turn me to mush. Or...eat the greatest booger ever."
Dixon spat out the water.
"Now!" the king shouted, jumping down. "Eat him!"
The boogers dropped on him, nibbling his hair. Others climbed up his limbs, gnawing at his clothes. A few chewed on his shoes. He shook them all off, but then slimy ones stuck to him. They pulled up dry and mushy ones. Soon he was covered in boogers.
"You coward!" Dixon said.
The king raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?" He snapped his fingers and the soldiers stopped. "Repeat yourself."
"You heard! You're a coward!"
The king marched over and snapped his fingers again. The boogers pulled Dixon down and bowed to the king.
"What did you call me?" The king climbed onto Dixon's cheek and looked him in the eye. "I will give you one more chance--"
"Or what?" Dixon laughed. "All talk. You don't scare me! You get the rest to fight. You get the rest to take out germs and dirt. What do you ever do?"
The booger soldiers looked to their king.
"I...Then I...But sometimes...Of course..." The king put his crown back on and smiled.
His soldiers didn't smile back.
"Booger army," Dixon said, "I'm sorry. I'll use tissues. I'll be careful when I sneeze...but please, end this unnecessary war."
The king tapped his broken staff until all eyes were on him.
/>
"Eat him," he said. "Do it quickly. His sister is next."
"See? The war will never end!" He looked at his watch. "It'll be breaktime soon. You don't wanna be here when two hundred kids come out. They'll eat you all." The boogers gasped and talked amongst themselves. "Plus the teachers will call the police. You might go to jail!"
"Not another prison," a girl booger cried.
"Then walk away," Dixon said. "Be free."
The king whacked Dixon's cheek with the staff. He climbed onto his hair and poked it.
"Leave my boogers alone!" He poked again. "If my boogers want to die at war, they should. Mind your own business." He raised his staff and one booger clapped. The rest slid or jumped down and rolled away. Slowly the ball fell apart. Dixon waited patiently until he was back outside.
"You cannot abandon me," the king shouted into the microphone. "I order all of you back."
"Get lost," a man booger said. "I wanna live."
Millions of boogers walked across the playground. The king chased after them, tapping his staff into the ground. He barked orders into the microphone, but the boogers walked on as if he hadn't said a word.
"Can I eat him now?" Dixon whispered. He drooled at the king's juicy arms. "It'll shut him up!"
"We have a bigger problem to fix." Daria turned Dixon's head round, letting his eyes look over the playground.
"Uh oh..."
There was soggy toilet tissue everywhere. Leftover booger mush was on the monkey bars, the collapsed tunnel had a gaping hole, and a pile of branches lay beneath the tree. And then the fountain overflowed. To make matters worse, the school bell rang.
"Run!" they said. The twins dashed across the playground and threw open the doors. Standing on the other