baby.”
Dr. Barr smiled. “It’s your choice. For what it’s worth, I think you’re making the right choice.”
“Why?”
“I was in your situation once. I’d ended up divorced because I’d focused solely on my medical career. I had a drunken one-night stand with an old friend from college and whoops . . . I got pregnant.” She smiled again. “At thirty-five. That baby was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She was the joy of my life. She still is thirty years later.”
Shiori managed to keep her tears to just a few and not an outburst. “And the baby’s father?”
“Oh, he was a deadbeat. Wanted nothing to do with either of us. Turned out we didn’t need him. So since you are going through with the pregnancy, I’ll do a pelvic exam and then . . . would you like to hear your baby’s heartbeat?”
At that point Shiori did burst into tears.
* * *
SIX hours had passed by the time Shiori finished at the doctor’s office. She had the car service take her to her place.
She showered. After she wrapped her hair in a towel, she stood in front of the mirror and turned sideways. Her belly didn’t look like a baby was growing in there.
But one was. She had a couple of very grainy pictures and she’d heard the heartbeat. She wished Knox had been with her.
How did she break the news about her pregnancy? Buy a pair of baby booties and give him a Congratulations on your impending fatherhood card?
Buy a jar of pickles and a carton of ice cream, hinting that she’d be having cravings for it in the next seven months?
Just tell him. Straight out. Knox, the morning-after pill I took after the first time we had sex didn’t work, and although we’ve used protection every other freakin’ time, we’re pregnant.
Shiori had to quit obsessing, and yet she still checked to see if she had any text messages from Knox. That’s when she noticed a voice mail from a number she didn’t recognize. She put it on speaker.
“Good morning, Miz Hirano. This is Jeff Jenkins of Executive Luxury Associates calling in regard to the penthouse lease. The owners of the property you’re leasing have returned to the country two months earlier than planned due to health issues. The lease contract has a provision for medical emergencies, so you’ll need to vacate the premises by one week from tomorrow.”
What the fuck?
“Naturally, you will be refunded the entire deposit amount, the payment for the last month will be refunded, and we’ll foot the cleaning charges. Please, Miz Hirano, call us as soon as you receive this message. Sorry for the inconvenience.” The message ended.
“You’re not one bit sorry for the inconvenience, you asswipes.” Just what she didn’t need to deal with on top of everything else.
After making sure she had her phone and the pictures from the doctor’s office, she called for a car to take her to Knox’s house.
His place was dark; only one dim light from the kitchen reflected in the front window. But Knox’s pickup was parked out front, so she knew he was home.
She turned the handle, but the door was locked.
Hadn’t he been expecting her?
Shiori dug out the key he’d given her, unlocked the door, and slipped inside. When she hit the living room lights, she saw Knox hunched over the breakfast bar.
He didn’t acknowledge her. The half-empty bottle of booze clasped in his right hand could be the reason for that.
“Are you celebrating something?” she asked.
“Just the opposite.” Knox didn’t offer any further explanation. Instead he said, “What’re you doing here?”
“You asked me to stay this morning, remember?”
“But you didn’t stay. I figured you went home. Besides, when do you take into consideration what I want?”
“Since . . . always.” Tired of talking to the side of his head, she moved into the kitchen to stand in front of him. “Where is all of this coming from?”
“Like you don’t know.”
“I don’t. So tell me.”
“Master Black. Sensei.”
“What about him?”
“You missed a great fucking meeting today. The new rules for the House of Kenji were laid out.”
“And?”
“And congratulations to you.” Knox picked up the bottle in a mocking toast and swigged. “The rules are black-and-white.” He snickered. “Black, get it? Ronin Black’s rules? Funny, right?”
“Hilarious. Tell me what that means.”
“It means Black Arts is under the House of Kenji, and since you outrank me, you officially get the title of Shihan.”
That made no sense. Knox had to have misunderstood. “Ronin said this to you? This is not you extrapolating something you overheard?”
“You think I’m an idiot? I might be drunk now, but I sure wasn’t drunk when Master Black informed me of the change. Effective immediately.” He tipped the bottle and drank. “I never realized how short I fell of Sensei’s expectations until you showed up here.”
That wasn’t true and he knew it when he wasn’t full of booze and self-pity. “I’m not following.”
“No, you’re always leading, aren’t you?” he shot back.
Shiori counted to ten, trying to keep her temper in check. “Do you want me to apologize for being a higher belt rank than you? Guess what? I won’t. I worked just as hard as you did to get where I am. Harder because I’m a woman.”
“Which is why you’re now Shihan. You should’ve been it the minute you walked into the dojo. I didn’t question staying in the number two spot just because I was so damn glad to be there. I didn’t know I’d retained the position only because Sensei felt sorry for me. I’m a fucking pity case. Or I was.”
How was she supposed to respond?
“Do you have any idea what that feels like? Of course you don’t. You’re the anointed one.”
“That’s not something I—”
“Let me finish.” His tone was curt. And a little raw.
“By all means, since this has been going so well so far.”
Knox tilted his head back and gazed at the ceiling, looking anywhere besides at her. “You know why the Domme-sub thing worked between us? Because we balanced each other out. In the dojo I’ve been in charge. In the bedroom you’ve been in charge. I needed that separation or else I . . .”
“Couldn’t have been submissive to me,” she supplied.
“Yeah. I’da seen you as the ballbuster at the dojo and the whip cracker at Twisted.” He snorted. “Like I needed another thing for you to lord over me.”
She shrank back, but she didn’t think he noticed.
“At least Master Black demoted me in the privacy of his office and not in front of the other instructors.”
Why had her brother done this? In an attempt to break them up? A horrible thought occurred to her. Was this finally payback for her part in the Naomi debacle? Ronin could hurt her by taking away the one thing that mattered most to Knox—his position at Black Arts—and in the process turn him resentful and bitter toward her.
“Wanna know the really fun part of this whole thing? Now I have to find a paying job. Because the only position that pays full-time wages at Black Arts is yours, Shihan. So the billionaire heiress will get paid my salary, which is probably a joke amount to you anyway. But it’s not a joke to me because it’s all I fucking have.” Another glug of scotch. “You even have another job—not that you need it. My other job at Twisted is a trade-out for yearly dues, so I don’t even have that.”
“Knox. You have to believe I didn’t want this.”
He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Rules are rules. And Black Arts is definitely under new management.”
“Why won’t you look at me?”
“Because you read me too fucking well.”
“Not a good enough answer.” The Domme in her snapped, “Look. At. Me.”
The submissive in him re
sponded.
And she recoiled at the desolation and anger in his eyes.
“Happy now, Mistress?”
How could she ever be happy seeing him like that?
Shiori wanted to curl herself around him, but he’d closed himself off. “What can I do?”
His bark of laughter was near maniacal. “Not something you’ll wanna hear.”
“Try me.”
Knox knocked back another mouthful of booze. “It’s simple. Just follow through with your original plan. You were here temporarily, biding your time to return to Japan. So if you went now . . .”
He could retain his status as Shihan. That nauseous feeling surfaced again. “You want me to leave?”
His lips twisted into a cruel smile. “Wasn’t that always your intent? Tokyo is your home. You’ve told me that several times.”
Once again she took a mental step back.
Her leaving would solve the problem—Ronin couldn’t force her to become Shihan if she wasn’t part of the dojo.
But that wasn’t the problem you came here to address.
Why hadn’t Ronin discussed this with her? Especially the part where he planned to give her all of Knox’s responsibilities? Her brother knew she had commitments to Okada—she’d heard Ronin and Knox discussing that just the other day.
When Knox tipped the bottle again, it was all she could do not to smack it out of his hand. Getting shitfaced wasn’t helping.
“Just go. I’ll get by on my own. I always do.”
Shiori had the sensation of watching this unfold from behind a pane of glass. This wasn’t her life crumbling before her—seeing the man she loved drunk and telling her to leave. Seeing the father of her child resentful of her.
God. How would Knox react when she told him about the baby?
She couldn’t do it tonight.
Knox wasn’t a hateful person, but he was drunk, and she had no idea what he’d say in that state. So it was best to let it go.
When the bottle hit the counter, she jumped.
Bleary-eyed, he pushed to his feet. He stumbled down the hallway toward the bathroom.
No use in sticking around.
Heartsick, she slipped out and called the car service as she walked along Knox’s street.
While she waited for the car, she scrolled through her choices for a moving and packing company. “Your ad says twenty-four-hour service? Yes. I need to be packed up and out of the rental tonight. I understand it’s premium pricing. Sir, money is not an object for me. Time is. If your movers can make my deadline, there will be bonuses all around.” She rattled off the address. “Showing up within the hour would be great. Thank you.”
Next she called Katie. She answered with, “Shi-Shi girl, you never call me. What’s up?”
“I need a huge favor. Huge. But it needs to be kept quiet.”
“Anything. Name it.”
“My lease has been unexpectedly terminated, and I need a place to st—”
“Stay? Of course you can stay with me for as long as you need.”
Katie really was very sweet. “While I appreciate that, I’m looking for a place to store my stuff.”
“Oh, of course. You’re probably staying with Knox.”
Yeah, not so much with that. “There’s not a lot, and I can pay you—”
“Don’t be ridiculous. I have a huge house that’s empty. You can store anything you want, for as long as you like.”
“Thank you. The movers are coming tonight.”
“Oh. Wow. Okay. That soon. Just text me and let me know exactly when. I’ll have to give the security guy at the gate a heads-up you’ll be coming through with a moving van. Those kinds of things set him on edge.”
“Will do. And, Katie, thank you. I mean it. I owe you.”
“This is what friends do for each other.”
Lastly, Shiori called her mom. Before her mother said hello, or chewed her out for not keeping in touch, she said, “Shiori-san. What’s wrong?”
“Everything.”
“Be specific, sweetheart.”
“I’m in trouble.” That sounded ominous. “Don’t worry. I’m not in jail.”
“I would hope if you were in jail you’d call your brother first for bail money since he’s closest.”
Shiori burst into tears.
“I’m sorry. Badly timed joke. Tell me . . . What’s everything?”
And it spewed out—probably way more than her mother needed to know. After Shiori finished talking, she tried to get control of her emotions, if only to stop crying.
Although the other end of the line was silent, she knew her mother hadn’t hung up. “Where are you now?”
She wiped her face and peered out the window. How long had they been parked here? “In front of my apartment complex.”
“The movers will be there tonight?”
“Yes. I don’t have much to pack, and I lined up a temporary place to store it. Why?”
“As soon as you’re squared away, I want you on the next flight to Tokyo.”
Shiori closed her eyes. “That feels like running away, Mom.”
“It is. But it’s for a good reason. You’re confused and scared and pregnant. Being home will give you a perspective you’ve been lacking.” She paused. “You’re an adult, Shiori-san, but that doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you. After the car accident and now this . . . I need you here for my peace of mind. If only for a little while.”
“Okay.” Relief filled her. Going home seemed like the first sound decision she’d made in a long time. Not that she’d really made it herself.
“Text me the flight information, or e-mail it to me. And yes, I wish you had the Gulfstream Five there.”
“Me too. I’ll stay in touch, Mom. I promise. And please don’t say anything to Ronin, Amery, or Ojisan about this.”
“I won’t, sweetheart.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry—” She started crying again.
“Nothing to be sorry about. One last thing. Make sure you have plenty of barf bags. Flying internationally always made me sick when I was pregnant. See you soon.”
How weird would it be talking with her mother about what to expect during her pregnancy? She hadn’t wrapped her head around the concept of a baby yet.
Another pang hit her. Knox should’ve been the first person she’d told.
You held back for a reason. Stop second-guessing yourself with everything.
She took a deep breath. Then she lowered the privacy partition in the car. “Hi. Are you on shift until midnight?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ll need to book you through then. I have some errands to run all over town, and I’m not sure when I’ll finish.”
“Not a problem. I’ll find out from building security where to park while I’m waiting. Do you have the addresses of where we’ll be going so I can get them plugged in to the GPS?”
“One address I don’t have. But then we’ll be going to Black Arts dojo before you drop me off at the airport.”
Just as Shiori exited the car, the moving van pulled up.
Perfect timing.
Had to be a sign she was doing the right thing.
Wasn’t it?