He took enough pictures that Gabriel could duplicate the look when she left and then reached for her cheek, pressing a reassuring palm to her face. The feel of makeup dusting his fingers...so not like how she really felt. “Now wash that face back to your normal pretty self. I’ll get you some clothes.”
“Thanks,” she said.
“Did you eat anything?”
“No. Not yet. Nothing since dinner last night.”
“Good. I’ll do what I need to, and then we’ll get you some breakfast.” He smiled and was about to leave when he itched to hug her. He reached for her.
She seemed to hesitate at first, but then shook her head and her smile brightened. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t want to get this makeup on your clothes.”
He laughed. “I think I’ve learned how to wash a shirt.” He tugged her by the elbow, and this time she didn’t hesitate. She tucked her head into his shoulder.
He pressed his cheek against her head, trying not to breathe in the hairspray, and just held her. She was so warm and cuddly. He couldn’t wait for the day when he could snuggle up on the couch with her, watching her play her games again. That was fun. A sigh escaped his lips.
“Get cleaned and come tell us about everything. We’ve got a few hours to plan.” He chuckled. “And then we get to have dinner together! Who knew that would actually happen?”
She giggled and then tugged herself free. She shrugged her shoulders, turning her eyes away. “I can’t believe she asked. I don’t know how we’ll get away with this. Doesn’t Marie know you’re my teacher?”
“I don’t think she’s ever seen my face at school. I can’t remember. I’m more worried that your dad might remember me from when I was the EMT when your mom...” He stopped himself and turned toward the door. “Never mind. We can talk in a bit. Stay right here. I’ll get those clothes.”
He left the bathroom door open, hurried through the bedroom and closed that door for her. Hopefully it blocked any noise the other guys were making.
North and Nathan were still in the bathroom. Sean knocked gently and then opened it.
North blocked the way at first, but once he realized it was Sean, he took a step back. North was holding a broom. Nathan was bent, ready with a dust pan half-full of a pile of slate.
“We’re going to do the tub,” North said in a low voice. “But not while she’s here. Maybe the master bathroom can fit a bigger tub.”
“We want to surprise her,” Nathan said, glaring at the dust pile. “North’s right. Updating the other bathroom needed to be done anyway.”
North leaned into Sean to whisper. “The only way to get him to stop beating up his shower was to promise a tub somewhere else.”
Good thing Owen wasn’t here, or he’d stop them before they could start. Sean checked the size of the space and then thought of the master bathroom. “That space is tiny.”
“There’s that laundry room next to the master bathroom, behind the wall,” North said. “There’s extra space there that’s not really needed. I can put in a bigger tub and a better linen closet.”
Sean nodded. They didn’t have to worry about Nathan’s father wanting to come back. He was on the other side of the globe and already writing people to say that when Nathan moved out, he’d sell the house. Anything they did now was just increasing the value of the house. “We’ll have her go to Kota’s from now on. Or whatever, we’ll figure it out.”
North ushered Sean out so he could close the door so they could finish cleaning up.
In Nathan’s bedroom, the bed was a wreck of pillows, and the blanket was on the floor. There were a few bags from camp.
Some of Sang’s clothes were on the floor. Stuff from when she was sleeping here?
There was a clip that had fallen behind the dresser.
Sang had stayed here for a while, and it wasn’t until that moment that Dr. Green really thought about Sang staying in the same room as Nathan.
Kota’s words came back to him. Not all of them were at the same place in their relationship with Sang. Someone like Nathan had spent way more time with her.
How was he supposed to compete with that?
He pushed those thoughts aside and focused on the closet. He was here with her now. He was going to do whatever he could for her.
Sean went through the closet, finding more than half of the clothes to be Sang’s.
Hadn’t they given her a huge bag of clothes, too, to take into the house?
How much were these guys spending on her?
Not that he cared...but why didn’t he get to take her shopping? He liked shopping.
He pulled out what he thought looked comfortable: pink pajama pants and a soft long-sleeved sleeping T-shirt in a pale purple. They weren’t taking her anywhere, so why not let her lounge all day and relax?
Hadn’t they bought her slippers? Maybe he could buy her some.
He took the clothes to the master bedroom. The sink was running inside. The bathroom door was closed now. He knocked gently at the door.
She opened, using the door to mask her body. She must have taken the dress off already. Her face was wet, red from scrubbing, but clean now. Her eyes were streaky, and the dark mascara and eyeliner were still there. The lashes were still on her eyes.
Sean focused on the wall. “Hopefully these are comfortable.”
She took them through the door. “Thanks.”
“Need anything else?”
Her face turned redder. “I don’t really know how to get these lashes off. I’m pulling, but it feels like I’m ripping my eyes.”
He wasn’t actually sure. He looked them over on her eyes and then pulled out his phone. “The Internet knows.”
She waited while he looked it up, touching the false lashes and then massaging her eyelid.
Sean realized while glancing at her that she was standing in her underwear and bra, by the way she was covering herself, and yet she didn’t shoo him out.
He zeroed in on the phone, unsure how he could possibly focus at all when she was very casually waiting for him.
Half-naked.
When he’d examined her before, he’d been in doctor mode. He had gone through the motions rather than thinking about it. She was showing trust and how comfortable she was around him, and he was having a hard time controlling himself not to just look.
He read from an article, “Hold a cotton ball with makeup remover over the eye...” He made a clicking noise and shook his head, squinting at the words. “What? That sounds dangerous. That can’t be good for your eyes.”
She motioned to the face wash she’d been using. “Is this not the same thing?”
He glanced at it, but it was positioned at the mirror in such a way that he got a view of...
Purple underwear.
Goddamn...
He turned away a bit to avoid looking any further. “Oh,” he mumbled. “I’ll go...get...some...” He’d go buy some. Or find some. This was too much.
How had Gabriel... No. Don’t think about what Gabriel saw when he spent so much time with her in the bathroom. Don’t...
She pouted her lips while she thought. So cute. “I was wondering if I should wash my hair, but is there a hat? Or something else?”
Good idea. It would save some time. “I’ll find something,” he said and then he snapped his fingers with an idea. “I’ll be right back.”
She shut the door on him.
He left the bedroom, shut that door, and then leaned against it. He rolled his head back, closing his eyes.
Purple...cotton...bikini cut...
He groaned and then shook off the thoughts.
He raced through the house, through the front door and out into the lawn.
No real need to run, but he was feeling good. She seemed in a good mood. Despite the scary week she’d had, and the rough time, she was in good spirits. She’s such a sweetheart. Bounces back so brilliantly.
Sean jumped the steps to the front door of Kota’s house, reached for the doork
nob.
He paused. It was still early, and there was no reason to scare anyone by just barging into the house. He knocked and then rang the doorbell and waited.
The dog barked inside. Little Jessica answered the door, bleary-eyed behind her pink-framed glasses. She was still in her pajamas. “Oh,” she said to him. “Should I get Kota?”
“I don’t think he’s here, but could you do me a favor? Do you have like a hair band type thing? I’ve seen your mom wear it before. An elastic one to keep hair out of your eyes while washing your face? Or for running? And can you grab some makeup remover?”
Jessica thought about it, nodded, left the front door open and walked toward the hallway. “I’ll be right back.”
She was so awesome. Never even thought to ask why he needed any of it. Sean stepped inside out of the cold, closing the door.
Max padded over from the kitchen. The retriever sat at his feet, panting happily. Sean gave him a scratch behind his ear. It was mostly quiet. Erica usually came out to say hello, but when she didn’t, he realized Jessica was on her own today.
When Jessica came back, she held out a black-and-white striped headband and a blue bottle of liquid. “Will these work?”
“Perfect,” he said as he took them. “You’ll be okay by yourself here?”
“A friend is picking me up in a couple of hours. We’re going to the mall.”
He was almost envious of her having a relaxing day at the mall. Sean waved goodbye to Jessica. “Be safe.”
“Are you going to be around for Kota’s birthday?”
Oh crap. Kota’s birthday. He corrected his smile, hoping she hadn’t noticed him faltering as he was trying to remember what day it was. “Oh...yeah. We’ve got a surprise for him.”
“With makeup remover?”
He laughed. “No, that’s for Sang.”
She brightened. “Is she planning something?”
“Sure is.” He winked at her. “Don’t tell Kota. Okay?”
Jessica closed the door on him, and he could hear her skipping through the house.
Kota. Crap. His birthday.
Now he’d have to come up with something for Sang. She had enough to deal with, but she wouldn’t want to miss it. He’d have to think about what they could do.
Especially if she was stuck in that house with Carol.
Pulse
SANG
The headband Dr. Green brought me covered most of my hair. The rest I made into a messy bun that I held together with a clip.
The makeup I managed to wipe off, and I got the eyelashes off. It took so much effort that my face felt raw and my eyes felt weird. I wondered if I should have just stuck it out and worn the makeup for the day. I wasn’t sure how girls did it, but was sure it was mostly my inexperience.
The pajama shirt’s soft material was nice, but part of me was too anxious to enjoy it. The dress hanging in the bathroom waited for me. I didn’t totally dislike it, but it represented a new reality for me, one that I was slow at accepting. Even if I had time off from them like this, I’d always have to be ready.
If Carol went to the diner, looking for me...
If Jimmy went to the diner...
I tried to stop playing out the hundreds of different scenarios that might happen. I trusted that the others would notify me if anything changed.
I sat on the leather couch in the living room. My feet were under my body, and I curled up as comfortably as I could.
Sean sat next to me on the couch in the middle. He placed a leather kit on the coffee table and pulled out a blood pressure cuff, stethoscope and other supplies.
He bent toward me, looking at my face, smiling. “Ready for your close-up?”
I giggled.
He gave me an eye and made a face. “Stop. Before I start.”
I swallowed back the urge to giggle anymore.
He started by checking my eyes and asking me questions.
While he remained professional, each touch lingered. His playful expression never faded. Every look, every moment with him, I wanted to giggle, but I held it as best as I could.
Nathan eventually came in, wearing only a pair of jeans and a red tank shirt that accentuated his arms and shoulders. He sat on the floor across the coffee table.
His reddish hair appeared wet, as if he’d showered, but I hadn’t heard the shower running. He watched while I was asked various questions about the week at camp.
I shared looks with him on occasion, but often, he stared at the table or at Dr. Green. He had dark circles under his eyes and leaned heavily on the coffee table. I imagined he hadn’t slept very well, much like the rest of us.
I’d gotten used to sleeping and staying at his house. It was odd to be back, and still not yet back at all.
“You ate mostly Pop Tarts all week?” Nathan finally asked. “You should have said something. We could have gotten you something better.”
Dr. Green chuckled. “It was camp. You’re lucky I didn’t eat s’mores all week.”
“Pop Tarts and that mocha coffee would be a lot of sugar right in the morning,” Nathan said.
“Your blood pressure is low,” Dr. Green said to me. He took out a vial and needle. “And from what I remember, every time I’ve checked, it’s been on the low side. Low blood pressure... spikes in your sugar every morning... high stress...”
My cheeks heated. I didn’t want to hide the thought that the shower had triggered something that caused me to faint. I stared at my knees. “I fainted before at Victor’s house, trying to take a shower.”
Sean reached for my hand, drawing it toward his body to hold close, and getting my attention so I was looking at him. “You, sweetheart, have had a lot of crazy things happen to you, yes. However, I don’t think the shower by itself is completely to blame for the fainting. You fainted before outside of the shower areas, remember?”
“At gym,” Nathan said before I could. “While she was doing exercises.”
I remembered that and suddenly questioned my own belief. I might have felt strange going to take a shower, but maybe I had fainted for other reasons.
Dr. Green squeezed my hand gently. “I get that the shower is the cause of stress, but stress throws lots and lots of cortisol into your system. With low blood pressure, if you’re breathing too rapidly, and have lots of sugar in your system, or no food at all in your system, it can cause fainting. When you were exercising at gym, you weren’t mentally stressed, but overtired and weak and causing yourself physical stress.”
North appeared from the kitchen. I wondered if he’d been listening. It was the first time I’d seen him since last night. He seemed tired, too, and wore the same clothes. His chin was shadowed with stubble. He motioned to Nathan. “Come help me with something.”
“You should be sleeping,” Nathan said and put pressure on the coffee table until he stood up. They went out into the garage, followed by the sound of the door closing.
What were they doing? Nathan was right, North needed some sleep. He’d been up all night.
Dr. Green drew my hand closer to his chest. He brushed his fingertips along my wrist. “Don’t worry about them. We should talk alone for a bit. Tell me what happens when you get close to a shower. What do you think?”
“I...dislike it,” I said quietly.
He waited patiently, holding my hand. “It’s okay. It’s just us now. Tell me.”
I breathed out slowly, looking at his chest. The way he stroked the soft skin at my wrist relaxed me. “I sometimes think of my mom. Or...Mr. McCoy...”
“The shower triggers the memory of what happened to you?”
My face and neck heated and I nodded. I hadn’t forgotten, but I tried not to think about it. Did it matter anymore? It wasn’t happening now. Not looking right at his face made it easier to talk about it. I swallowed heavily.
“It’s okay,” he said. “When something harsh happens to us, trigger points may get set up.” His fingers slowed until he was holding my wrist warmly. “The girls at cam
p. They triggered other feelings, right?”
I nodded again. “Jade,” I said softly. “And my mother...just...”
“You’ve had a lot of women do horrible things to you in your life,” he said. “You’ve made a connection between girls and those bad things.”
“I know the girls at camp are good. They didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I know,” he said with a soft smile. “Sang, sweetie, how do you feel when you’re with us? With any of us?”
The question spurred my heart to race again, but in a different direction. Somehow I assumed he meant the plan to be together, and how I might feel romantically about them. “I...”
“Do you feel comfortable?” he asked, his green eyes gleaming, but soft and genuine. “Do we stress you out?”
“No,” I said quickly, certain about it. “I feel better with you all.”
“Better?”
I wasn’t sure how to explain it. “I didn’t like being away from any of you while at camp. I felt better when I was sure one of you was around. Even though I know we shouldn’t sneak the guys up to the attic while we’re dealing with Carol and what’s going on there, I hate the thought of being by myself up there.”
He leaned in on the couch, closer to me. He held his palm against my palm, warming my skin. “Have there been any other causes of stress for you?”
“I was worried about the Academy council. I didn’t want them to say I had to leave our group. I was worried about our...plan. That they would find out and wouldn’t understand it.”
He smiled and interlocked his fingers with mine. “Does the plan bother you? Does it stress you out?”
“Not in the same way.”
“Not like the shower and how it can trigger memories?”
I shook my head. “Nothing like that. Most of the time I’m worried about...how everyone will feel, and...” I couldn’t find the specific words to go over with him. I felt so strongly about all of them.
Including him.
I was excited to be near him, eager to stay, wanting to say everything I was thinking so he’d understand.
He leaned in a little closer. “Maybe you should ask us.”
“Ask?”