“Daddy!” Bella started crying when I’d gotten near enough for her to see me again. I wanted to drop the case and go to her, but I didn’t dare. No quick moves, I thought.
“Stay right there, Bell,” I called.
“Daddy.” She was crying hard.
“Shut her up!” Roy said, and I could just make out Erin leaning over, saying something to Bella. When I was within a few yards of the four of them, I slowly set the case down on the dock and started toward my daughter, but Roy stepped between us, the side of his gun against my chest.
“Stay right where you are,” he said.
“Look, let’s get this over with,” I said. “I don’t want this stuff in my van. I don’t want to go to the cops. I just want you to let me and Bella and Erin go, all right? So, let’s get the cases out of the van and be done with it.”
“You should’ve just done what we told you right from the start, Travis,” Savannah said.
Roy stepped away from me to hand something to her. It glittered in the moonlight, and for a moment I was afraid they each had a gun. “Open one of the cans,” he ordered her, and as she walked closer to me I saw the knife in her hand.
“You don’t need to open a can,” I said. “It’s all there. I haven’t touched it, and the rest of the cases are still in the van.” I was starting to panic. “Don’t you get it?” I asked. “I don’t want it and I never have!” I was afraid I was protesting too much. He’d know I was faking it.
“Open it,” Roy said to Savannah. She squatted down next to the case and slit the plastic with the knife. I started shaking, adrenaline pouring through my body. Only a few yards separated me from my daughter and I wanted to scoop her up and run back up the dock, but Roy was holding the gun steady on me. I’d never forget him shooting at those guys in the parking lot, one of the bullets singing through the air next to my van. I didn’t dare move. Erin was squatting next to Bella, holding her tight, trying to calm her down. I wanted the chance to apologize to Erin. So weird to have that thought at that moment, when my life and my daughter’s were hanging by a thread. I was sorry I’d ever dragged Erin into this mess.
Savannah stood up, a can of formula in her hand. She carried it over to Roy. Put the gun down, I thought. Lose your concentration.
“Take the lid off,” Roy said to Savannah. She squatted down on the dock, setting her flashlight on the planks as she worked at the lid. It took her a couple of tries, but she got it off and peeled back a piece of plastic that I hoped wasn’t a giveaway. Did the doctored cans have that plastic seal on top? What did it matter? In two seconds, Roy was going to know the truth and I’d be a dead man.
Savannah picked up the can and her flashlight and got to her feet. She held the can toward Roy, who dipped his finger into the powder, the gun dangling from his hand. I held my breath as he brought his finger to his mouth. In the light from the flashlight, I saw the flare of his nostrils as he tasted the powder. He pointed the gun directly at my chest. “You son of a bitch,” he said, and I knew I was going to die.
Savannah was fast, so fast it took me a second to realize what was happening. I saw the puff of white powder as she threw the contents of the can in Roy’s face. I froze only half a second before I plowed forward to shove him to the floor of the dock.
“Run!” I shouted to Erin, but she’d already scooped Bella into her arms and was jumping from the dock into the water. I heard the crack of the gun, but if he hit me, I didn’t feel it because I was too busy punching him in the face, over and over and over again. Too busy even to register the distant sound of sirens as they grew louder in the dark night air.
46
Erin
The water was cold and I felt it fill my nostrils and cover the top of my head, but I bounced to the surface as I heard gunfire, and I expected to feel a bullet tear through my body any second. Above me, I saw stars and the moon and the black slab of the dock. I kicked my feet until I was completely beneath it. Shouting filled the air above me. A scream. The sounds came to me like in a nightmare, and it was a nightmare I knew all too well. The only difference was, this time, I held a frightened, sobbing child in my arms. I treaded water, kissing her cheeks, the top of her head, savoring every whimper that came from her lips, because this child was very much alive.
47
Travis
In the curtained cubicle of the emergency room, I held Bella on my lap. She’d cried herself out and now clung to me, arms around my neck, and I thought Let her forget this night, the way I’d prayed that she’d forget the fire or how I’d abandoned her with a near stranger for days. I was asking too much of God, I thought. We were alive. We were alive and whatever happened now was something we’d have to endure. I had no idea how much prison time I’d get for the things I’d done this past week. At least Robin would be in Bella’s life, now. That could only be good.
I answered every question they asked me fully and honestly, knowing I should really be keeping my mouth shut until I had a lawyer. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to play legal games. I wanted to cleanse myself of the past couple of weeks. My body might end up in jail, but I wanted my mind and soul to be free.
I didn’t know where Roy was. Maybe the police station? I had no idea. They’d separated all of us. Erin went in one ambulance, though she’d handed Bella over to me before they drove me away. A second ambulance had taken Savannah and I knew she was in surgery with at least one gunshot wound. I knew, too, that she’d saved our lives. They’d stitched a cut on my head that I had no memory of getting. My neck hurt and I guessed I’d wrenched it when I beat the crap out of Roy. Small thing. Very small thing. The big thing was that Bella was back with me, even if it was only for a little while. She hadn’t let go of me once since we got to the hospital, her arms wrapped around my wrenched neck, and I held on to her just as tightly, knowing this might be my last chance to hold her for a very, very long time.
48
Robin
“They’re in the E.R.,” Dale said, flipping his cell phone shut. He’d been pacing around my living room on the phone for the past fifteen minutes while I’d been biting my nails on the sofa, waiting to learn Travis’s and Bella’s fates. “Now tell me what the hell this is all about,” he said. He was angry. I didn’t care.
“Why the E.R.?” I asked. “Who’s hurt?”
“Some woman’s in surgery. She was shot. They think she’ll make it, though. The kid is okay. One of the men is in police custody. The other—”
“Which man?” I wanted to stand up to be on a more equal footing with him, but I didn’t think my legs would hold me.
“I don’t know, Robin.” Dale sounded disgusted. I knew he felt manipulated by me right now. Too bad.
“What were you going to say about the other man?” I asked.
“He’s being treated at the hospital for a head injury. Minor.”
“Where’s the little girl?”
“With him. And I’m done with the twenty questions.” His voice was rising and he stared down at me like I was a political opponent. “Now what the hell is going on?” He was very nearly shouting.
“Shh!” I pointed to the ceiling. “The guests.”
“What the hell did you mean about the girl being yours?” he asked. “How do you know these people? How do you have any involvement with them? And what the fuck are you trying to do to my career?”
“Don’t talk to me that way,” I said. “Don’t you dare.” I was so unbelievably furious with him for everything. Such a rare feeling for me. Rare and empowering. “Shut up for half a second and I’ll tell you how I know them. I’ll tell you everything. And then I’ll tell you what you’re going to do for me.”
He took a step backward and gave me a look that asked Do you know who you’re talking to? “Who are you?” he asked. “I feel like I don’t know you tonight.”
“You don’t know me,” I said. “And I sure as hell didn’t know you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Here’s what you??
?re going to do for me, Dale.” I stood up, feeling stronger. If I didn’t have him on the defensive yet, I would very soon. “You’re going to pull whatever strings you need to, to make this situation go away. You’re good at that. I know you know how to do it. The man with the little girl—her father, Travis Brown—you’re going to keep him out of jail.”
“He was dealing drugs. I can’t—”
“No, he wasn’t. He was caught up in something he couldn’t control. And you know what? It doesn’t even matter. I don’t owe you any explanation about what he was doing. The only thing that matters is that he doesn’t go to jail. You make this go away.”
“I can’t possibly do that.”
“Oh, yes, you can. You have this whole town in your back pocket. Make this go away.”
“Who is he?”
“He’s the father of my child. That little girl.”
Dale’s face went white. “What have you been keeping from me? You deceptive… You’re going to ruin everything for me.”
“No, actually, I’m not. Not if you do what I’m asking.”
“Don’t you dare try to blackmail me, Robin. Don’t even think about it. I’ve done everything for you. You came to Beaufort lost and friendless. A little…nobody with absolutely no prospects. Look at you now. You have everything you could ever want. How dare you—”
“I spoke with Will,” I said.
He frowned and looked as though he couldn’t imagine what I was talking about. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“I mean I know you’ve been paying him off, the same way your father bought off his mother.”
Dale opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it. He sank down on my sofa.
“You get Travis out of this mess and I won’t go public with what I know. I’ll pretend we’re still happily engaged until after the election and then I’ll quietly go away. But if you don’t do what I’m asking, I’ll expose you for the lying son of a bitch you are.”
He shook his head slowly. “You… I can’t believe you—”
“People will forgive all sorts of things,” I said. “They’ll forgive affairs and perversions and prostitutes. They might even forgive you for betraying their trust. But they won’t forgive you for betraying mine. You’ve made them love me, Dale.” I nearly smiled with the power I felt at that moment. “Thank you for that.”
“I’ll say you lied to me.”
“Me and Debra, right? Two women duped you? What will that tell the public about you? That you’re a fool with pretty bad judgment, not fit to lead, don’t you think?”
“I can’t do it,” he said. “I can’t help your…friend.” He actually sneered. “I have no authority to—”
“You’d better figure out how to do it,” I said. “You have twenty-four hours.” I walked to the door and put my hand on the knob. “Believe me, I want Travis to be free, but to tell you the truth, it would give me some pleasure right now to tell the world what I know about you.”
“The child… Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. “You’re an honest person. I know that. Deep down, you are. Why didn’t you tell me about her?”
“Because I was pretending she didn’t exist. It was the only way I could survive the past few years. But she does exist and I want to be her mother, more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
“You’re going to lose everything,” he said. “You know that, don’t you?”
“I’ll have something better to take its place.” I thought of the false life I’d been living for the past couple of years. “I’ll have something real.”
49
Erin
One of the nurses led me to the curtained cubicle in the E.R. and I thanked her and stepped inside. Travis was sitting on a gurney, propped up against the raised mattress. His eyes were shut and Bella was asleep in his arms, her head resting on his chest. He had a bandage on his temple. A cervical collar on his neck. I stood there for a moment in the donated pants and sweatshirt the E.R. social worker had given me. The clothes were too big, but they were dry and warm.
“Travis?” I said.
His eyes opened and he sat up a little straighter, holding tight to Bella. “Erin!” he said. “Are you all right?”
“Totally fine,” I said. “What about you, though?” I touched my own forehead where his was bandaged.
He ignored the question. “I’m so sorry for this, Erin.” He looked pained. “I’m so, so sorry.”
I sat down on a stool in front of the curtain. I could see that Bella was wearing different clothes, too, and her hair was still damp. Her purse was on the rolling tray by the bed, the two photographs lying on a paper towel next to it, their edges curled.
“I know you are,” I said, “Are you okay? How’s Bella doing?”
He gingerly touched the bandage on his head. “We’re alive, and that’s the most important thing. I can never, ever thank you enough for keeping Bella safe. Or apologize enough, either.”
“I’m all right.” I felt so calm. Calmer than I’d felt in a long time.
“I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me,” he said. “I put you through the worst experience of your life.”
“No,” I said. “This wasn’t the worst experience of my life.”
“You’re kidding.” Bella let out a small moan and he rubbed her arm. “You’ve actually been through something worse than this?”
I nodded. “I have.” I took in a long breath. “Do you remember when we first met at JumpStart, you asked me if I had any children and I said no?”
He nodded slowly.
“Well, I did have a child. A daughter a little younger than Bella. She died when she fell from the Stardust Pier in Atlantic Beach.” I knotted my hands together in my lap. “That was worse,” I said.
He opened his mouth, but I could tell I’d left him momentarily speechless. Resting his head against the pillow, he shut his eyes. “Oh, damn,” he said. “I’m sorry, Erin.” He looked at me again. “How did you ever survive that? I don’t think I could.”
“I wasn’t surviving it,” I said. “I was slowly dying. Bit by bit. Day by day. Until you and Bella came along and I suddenly had something to look forward to. And when you left Bella with me, I had somebody to think about besides my daughter. And myself.”
He looked incredulous. “Are you saying I actually helped you?” he asked.
I nodded. “You and Bella. Most definitely.” I smiled. “Crazy, huh?”
He looked down at his sleeping daughter. Ran his hand over her tangled hair. “Was she good for you?” he asked.
“She was wonderful,” I said. “I’m worried about her, though. About both of you. What happens now?”
He sighed. “Well, medically I’m ready to go, so I’m just waiting for the cop to come back to…take me in.” He swallowed hard and looked away from me, “And for Robin to come get Bella. She has to talk to social services and get the go-ahead to take her. Bella’s never met her, so I’m… It’s going to be hard to just turn her over to her.”
“Why do you have custody of her, Travis?” I asked.
“Robin was really sick when Bella was born. She needed a heart transplant and there was no way she could take care of a baby. I signed a contract with her father that said I’d leave Robin alone once I had custody.” He adjusted the cervical collar with a wince. “There was just a lot of…misunderstanding between us. I hadn’t seen Robin until yesterday. When I found out you’d come to Beaufort with Bella, I figured you were looking for her, so I came here and I found her.” He smiled. “She’s been thinking about us. Thinking about Bella, and what she’s missed. If there’s anything good coming out of this whole mess, it’ll be getting her and Bella together.”
“She’s never met her?” I asked.
“Never. And she’s wonderful. It’s sort of like a miracle. I don’t know how long I’ll be locked up for, but knowing Bella will be with her mother… It’s better than I could hope for.”
“Travis.” I leaned
forward. “If there’s any way I can help…I mean, I don’t know if having me testify on your behalf would hurt or help, but I know from things I overheard between Roy and Savannah that you didn’t really know what you were getting into.”
“I knew enough,” he said. “I did something really stupid for money.”
I couldn’t argue with him about that, and yet he never could have known how wrong it would all go.
“How will you get back to Raleigh?” he asked me. “Where’s your car?”
“At an inn in Beaufort,” I said. “One of the police officers said he’d take me over there when I’m ready, but I didn’t want to leave without seeing you and Bella.”
He kissed the top of Bella’s head. “She’s so wiped out,” he said. “I just hope she can get over this. She had nightmares after the fire and really…regressed, and now this.”
“Did her nana—your mother—did she die in the fire?”
He nodded.
“You’ve been through a lot,” I said.
“You’ve been through more. Your daughter. Your marriage.”
“He’s on his way here,” I said. “My husband.” I’d used the social worker’s phone to call Michael. I’d told him as much as I could squeeze into five minutes and he’d insisted on coming, even though I said that didn’t make sense. We’d have two cars here then, but the truth was, I couldn’t wait for him to get here. We’d stay in the inn, in room 333, and I’d tell him everything that had happened in the past couple of weeks and I’d listen to him tell me about his game. “He and I need to talk,” I said to Travis. “I blamed him for what happened with our daughter, but I think I was wrong.”
“Why did you blame him?”
“I jumped into the water and he didn’t.”