I’m unbelievably slick, my biological processes eager for Ranik’s every ministration. But it’s more than biological. Ranik’s handsome face is smiling at me. Ranik Mason wants me. He dreams of me. He wants me to be happy.

  I blush, and the heat moves all over my body. Ranik runs his finger over my opening, hesitating.

  “I’ll be gentle, Princess. Promise.”

  “Ranik!” Miranda’s voice is strong and loud, scaring both of us as she beats on his door with her fist. “Get up! We’re gonna be late for class.”

  Ranik and I freeze. He suddenly pulls away, jumping out of bed and pulling on a pair of boxers and jeans.

  “Jesus fuckin’ – ” He looks at me, then rubs his eyes as if he can’t believe them, and rubs them again. His face goes white. “A-Alice?”

  I frown, my blush rising as I pull the sheets over my breasts. “I tried to tell you, idiot!”

  He buries his face in a stray shirt and growls. “Oh god oh god oh god –”

  Miranda bangs on his door again. “Ranik! C’mon! Let’s go!”

  “O-One sec,” he shouts, then turns to me. “Fuck, Alice, I’m so sorry. I’m so fuckin’ sorry. I thought – I thought you were –”

  “A dream?” I offer smugly. He goes red down to the roots of his curly hair.

  “Ranik!” Miranda shouts.

  Ranik looks between the door and me, and growls again. He throws his shirt down and opens the door, poking his head out of it.

  “I’m not going today. I’m sick.”

  “Sick? What are you –”

  He interrupts her by shutting the door and locking it. Ranik turns to me, and dives back into the bed. I screech a little at the sudden movement, and he laughs, burrowing under the covers at me feet before popping up near my head, eyes alive and wild with mischief.

  “I’m still your teacher, right?” He asks.

  I nod.

  “And you still wanna invite me to the fair double-date thing, right?”

  I nod again. Ranik pulls my hand up from the covers and kisses it.

  “Alright. Then we got a lot of learnin’ to do.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Well, this fair thing sounds like the perfect place to ask Theo out, don’t it?”

  I swallow nervously. “Yes, but –”

  “No buts!” He smirks. “If you don’t ask him that night, Grace will. I can feel it in my bones. So, we gotta kick the lessons up a notch.”

  “But Ranik, what about you? You said –”

  “Here’s your problem,” He ignores me. “You’re too focused on Theo.”

  ***

  She quirks a fine brow. “Oh? In my experience, being focused on the goal is rather important.”

  “No, fuck, I mean obviously it’s important. Be as obsessed with him as you want. But that’s not what I’m talking about. Sex is…it’s not just about the guy. At least, good sex never is.”

  She looks a hundred percent confused. I put my hands behind my head.

  “How do you do it?” I ask. More confusion draws her face tight. A huge lump in my throat makes it hard to talk. “Uh, masturbate.”

  A fire-blush begins are her hairline and lights up her cheeks, and for the third time this week I catch myself tryna memorize that expression of hers, before it melts too quick.

  “I know how to pleasure myself well enough, thank you. I don’t need a lesson on that.”

  “Right, but,” I lean forward. “This ain’t about that. I’m not gonna teach you that, fuck, nobody can teach you that but yourself. I’m tryna teach you how you fit into this sex thing. You’re too focused on learning to make Theo feel good. You can make him feel good by making yourself feel good, first of all.”

  She frowns. Figures Alice – queen of self-sacrifice and martyrdom, would never think once about her own pleasure. Other girls? They live for their pleasure, spend their whole lives using dudes to get it. But she’s always put hers on the back burner, convinced the only way to make someone happy is to ignore her own damn happiness. I sigh.

  “Look, a woman is a lot more than jus’ a body. Men are visual ass creatures, yeah, but you guys turn us on in more ways than just boobs and butts."

  “I highly doubt that. It seems to be all you care about.”

  A dark anger flares up in me. She’s so convinced I’m shallow, trying so hard to make me out to be a villain. Before I can stop myself, I’m looming over her, my hands on either side of her shoulders. Her bluebell eyes stare up at me. Her smell, roses and old paper, wafts up, and I drink it in like a dying man in a desert.

  “Don’t get me wrong, princess,” I murmur. “I’ve had lots of experience. But that don’t mean I’m easy to turn on. I’m not a switch you can just flash your titties at and expect a response.”

  Alice frowns, then gets an evil smirk on her face. She quickly pulls down her bra cups, the flash of creamy breasts making my pants suddenly way too tight. She pulls the bra up again and her smirk gets bigger.

  “I think we’ve disproven that hypothesis,” She says. I glare.

  “That wasn’t fair.”

  “Science is always fair,” She says loftily. “You were saying? Do continue with the lesson.”

  “For some guys that’s all it takes, yeah. They’re fuckwads. For me, it’s more than that. Much more. And if Theo is half the man he should be, it’ll be like that for him too.”

  Alice loses her smirk and squirms, and something in me takes delight in that. I’d love to make her squirm in other ways, more horizontal ways, with her hands clutching these sheets below us –

  “Then, what is it?” She clears her throat. “What do you mean by ‘much more than that’?”

  Oh, I’ve waited for this day. I savor it before leaning in and inhaling around her.

  “The smell. Your smell is important.”

  “Then I should strive to be good-smelling always.”

  I laugh. “Sure, but you don’t gotta. The smell of a woman’s sweat is just as fucking wonderful as any perfume. Full of pheromones and reminders –”

  Reminders you aren’t as frigid as you pretend to be, I finish in my head. That even an ice princess like you sweats when she’s nervous, or exercising, or fuckin’. I’d love to see you sweat, trace the little beads as they form between your breasts –

  “A lot of men would disagree with you on the sweat thing,” she interrupts my fantasy.

  “A lotta men are goddamn idiots,” I say coolly. She smiles.

  “That’s the fourth thing I’ll agree with you on.”

  I lean in, and she doesn’t lean back but the nervousness in her eyes gets stronger.

  “Taste,” I say. “the taste of your tongue, your breath, your lips. Just the normal, regular taste of you. And your skin. The taste of your skin –”

  I can see the delicate milky skin over her chest rise and fall quick with her breath. Her throat flutters. I move in, drawn like a moth to a fuckin’ flame, and press my lips to the hollow in the center of her collarbone. I dart my tongue out and taste her – salt and roses and something I can’t pinpoint that’s completely and totally her own unique taste. Most girls are lotion and strong jasmine and too much sugar. But Alice is just soft cream and clear air. I want to gulp it down, bottle it and drink it when the world gets too goddamn full of nose-stingin’ perfume and fake, sugary laughs, and cigarettes.

  “What are you d-doing?”

  The waver in her voice snaps me out of it. The ice princess, stutterin’? I pull away, suddenly realizin’ what I’ve done like a blind idiot.

  “Shit,” I hiss. “Shit, I’m sorry. Got carried away. Won’t happen again. I’ll go sit on my hands or something.”

  I pull away, and sit on the opposite side of the bed with my hands under my butt. Alice’s laugh breaks her fluster.

  “You’re not twelve. You don’t have to punish yourself like that.”

  “Uh, after this morning? Obviously I do. Otherwise I ain’t never gonna fuckin’ learn my lesson.”

/>   She shakes her head, still smiling. It’s a goddamn Christmas miracle after all I’ve put her through the last day or two. She ain’t frownin’ at me, or glaring. She’s still smiling, real and pure and true. She readjusts the sheets over her chest and cocks her head to the side.

  “So, what else is there? Smell, taste, and…?”

  “Sound,” I offer instantly. “The sounds you make when you’re gettin’ fucked. Uh, shit, rephrase – the sounds you make when you’re feeling pleasure. That’s, uh, the biggest turn on.”

  “For you? Or for men in general?”

  My face is hot and thas’ ridiculous, being embarrassed. Ranik Mason doesn’t get fuckin’ embarrassed, so I ignore it.

  “Shit, princess, I can’t speak for every slimy ass dude. I’m just tellin’ you general stuff about guys.”

  “But you like sound the best.”

  I like you the fuckin’ best. But you’ll never look at me twice with Theo around, and I have to live with that, with this shitty heart wrenching bullshit for the rest of my worthless life.

  “Yeah, I like sound. Fuckin’ sue me.”

  “I’d rather not. Sue you. You don’t have any money,” she smirks.

  “Look, the point is, shit, the point is you gettin’ off is just as much of a turn on as getting our dicks touched, okay? If Theo’s worth his salt, if he cares about you, he’ll see you getting off and get turned on like crazy.”

  She goes pink around the edges, cheeks rosy. She’s probably imagining Theo with a hard on, and getting wet herself. I shake off the pressure poking at my fly. Not really the time, dick. She ain’t even thinking about you.

  She was thinking about us this morning, my dick says back. Look at her, she’s hot and bothered and gorgeous.

  I know she’s gorgeous, moron. But it’s not us she wants.

  I stand up and pull on my shirt. “So, uh, yeah. That’s it for today. I gotta get to class.”

  “R-Right,” her voice is a little breathless. “So do I.”

  I should just leave, just leave, leave right now, but I turn instead. The sight stops my heart - her golden hair loose from it’s usual bun, a tendril gracing her flushed cheeks. The spot beneath her neck where I kissed is still a little red, and wet. Her thighs under the blankets are firmly clenched together, her jean shorts still undone and revealin’ a sliver of her panties – the rose panties with the ties on the sides. The ones I got her.

  The ones we got together.

  Whatever control I had left over my cock goes out the window, because I throw it headfirst. In a flash I’m leanin’ over her again. I need her, for real, I need her, I need her –

  Alice looks up at me, embarrassed. She rubs her thighs together again.

  “I-I’m…I’m used to doing it on my own.” She starts. “But I’d…I think it would be beneficial to…to learn how it feels when someone else…does it for me.”

  “Are you sure?” I ask, hoarse.

  “Yes,” she nods. “Please.”

  It’s all the permission I need. I swoop in, kissing her hard and fast. She makes a soft moan, and wraps her hand around my wrist. She dips my hand into her jeans. I cup the heat there, feelin’ the thin silk and the outline of her lips. She’s small, neat, and her panties are so fuckin’ cute I gotta forcefully resist the urge to get on my knees and kiss the band of them.

  I press experimentally on her mound, and she gives a little sigh. My fingers work circles, trying desperately to find her most sensitive spots. Desperate? Me? Shit. I’m never this outta control with any other girl. Why am I so bent on getting’ her off? Is it because I want to impress her? Is it because this might be my only chance – ever – to make her feel good? Is it because she’s everything I want, but can never, ever have?

  Or is it because I –

  Her breathing gets heavy, and a sharp moan alerts me to the jackpot. I exhale, burying my head in her neck and grinding with gentle pressure. The smell of roses and cream infects me, gets me drunk as her sweet moans fill the room. More. I want her to moan more, and louder, and faster. I want her to lose control, I want her to cum on my hand, I want to watch her face as pleasure burns her from the inside out.

  I want her to know, without a doubt, that I love her.

  Her thighs clench and I move lower, lettin’ the soft dampness on her panties guide me.

  “What about inside?” I murmur. “Is that something you do?”

  “S-Sometimes,” she pants. “But, ah -!”

  My finger slides in easily. She’s slick and hot, the texture familiar yet totally different.

  “But what?” I ask softly. She squirms, blue eyes clouded.

  “I don’t want you to d-do…anything you don’t want to –”

  I laugh, the sound rumblin’ through my chest like a happy lion.

  “Trust me, Princess,” I murmur. “I’ve wanted to do this for a long time.”

  It’s the wrong thing to say, the worst thing, but she ain’t paying much attention to what I say anymore and I’m real grateful for it. I slide in deeper and her head lolls back, exposing her pale neck. I lean in and kiss a slow line up it as I pull out, and sink back in even deeper. Her moan is high and surprised in the best way and I can’t help my smirk against her throat. She twists, her breath catching as I curl my fingers inward. She looks down, eyes wide with surprise.

  “Wh-What was that –”

  I do it again, harder, and she arcs her back, moaning.

  “Ranik –”

  “You should know, nerd,” I lean up to her ear. “The G-spot. What happened to that A in biology?”

  She looks down, frowning, browns drawn and ready to argue, and I glance my lips over her earlobe and bite soft, curlin’ deeper into her. Her frown melts to shock, big shudder tellin’ me all I need to know. Another thrust, another finger, my hand moist and the smell wafts up – all woman and all her and my jeans are doing a shit job of hiding how painfully hard I am. Her bra is black and simple and it’d be easy to take off. It’s all I can do to not unclip it and let her breasts spill out, all I can do to not suck her, to not spread her legs and suck her, to unzip my jeans and let my cock do the talking. I resist the urge to grind against her. I burn to do so much more, but this is all she’s allowing me to do. This is more than I ever fuckin’ deserve.”

  “O-Oh,” She breathes, eyelids fluttering as I bring her to the edge. “Ranik!”

  My name on her pleasure-drunk lips is an intoxicating sound that makes my hips jerk without my permission. I bury myself in her neck to distract from my frantic urge to strip her right there and slide in. I softly bite her tender flesh, feelin’ her convulse around my fingers, her insides tightenin’ deliciously as she gasps. Her moan is sweet and drawn out and high. I pull back and watch her face – flushed and drowsy, satisfied and ecstatic all at once as the pleasure wracks her, and then fades. She don’t look sad anymore, that’s for sure. But it won’t last.

  I play with her outside as she comes down, rubbin’ lazily and watchin’ the aftershocks from it make her twitch. She’s fun, real fun. More fun than I’ve had in a long time. Slowly, so slowly, her breathin’ evens out, and for the first time I realize I been panting too.

  Blue eyes meet mine, and I’m suddenly wide aware of what the fuck this looks like – my hand down her panties and her all splayed out in my bed. I withdraw quick, clearin’ my throat and standin’.

  “I should, man, I should really go. Uh. Hope that, uh. Helped. Because, yanno, that’s what we’re doing here. Helpin’ you learn.”

  Alice breathlessly laughs, the sound like crystal bells. She slowly stands, finding her shirt and fixing her terribly hot short-shorts.

  “What about you?” She asks.

  “What about me?”

  “Don’t play dumb. I can see it through your pants.”

  My cock gives a twitch, desperate for her attention. The handjob lesson comes to my mind, her tongue lashing up my underside, and I want it all over, I want to be in her more than she’ll ever know.

/>   “That’s not really part of the deal,” I say, kickin’ myself silly even as the words leave my mouth. “S’my problem. I’ll take care of it.”

  My legs are like lead. Everything in me screams to go back, to let her have her way with me, but I know a dangerous fucking road when I see one. If I stayed in that room, there’d be no going back. I’d do something I regret, and something she’d regret too, probably. She’s a goddamn ice princess, flawless future valedictorian, and I’m the underbelly scum of this school. Shit like that just doesn’t add up.

  “Ranik –” Alice starts.

  “Look, text me the time and details of the fair, and I’ll meet you there, okay?”

  I shut the door behind me.

  I shake my head as I drive to school, embarrassed but still faintly satisfied with myself.

  I’m not Theo. Theo shoulda done that to Alice, not me. She’d have enjoyed it more if it was him.

  But like a hungry, pathetic-ass beggar, I relive this morning with Alice over and over for the rest of the week. I try to push the scent of her, the feel of her out of my mind, but then I see her walkin’ through the halls, catch a glimpse of her blonde hair as she bends over a book, or a gorgeous smile aimed at Theo, and I’m a hopeless fucking parched mess all over again, and I drink and drink of that last memory, but it ain’t never her, it ain’t never her hands or her smile, and I’ll always be fuckin’ thirsty because it’s not me she’ll kiss, it’s not me she’ll with and eat with and study with, it’s not me she’ll hold hands and talk about her future dreams with, it’s not my face she’ll stroke as we lie in bed, it’s not me she’ll give her first time to, because it ain’t me she loves.

  Chapter 10

  Charlotte tries to hit me with a pillow for the thirteenth time.

  “I can’t believe you’re still keeping secrets from me!” She shrieks, smiling. “I’ll ask you one last time, and after that I’m gonna get nasty; where were you Friday night?”

  “A friend’s,” I giggle, and it’s so uncharacteristic even Charlotte looks shocked.

  “You…I knew it! That rosy glow, the way you’re so happy lately –” Charlotte gasps. “You got laid! Oh my god! Why did you tell me you had sex with Theo?”