“Shut up,” said Mr. Onion. “She’s on work-study and I’m her supervisor. Now, about Moriarty . . .”
“Work-study at eleven?” said Lumpenstein.
“I’m thirteen,” said Amanda. Realizing that he’d successfully baited her she clamped her hand over her mouth.
“Gotcha,” said Lumpenstein, grinning. A silver upper tooth sparkled.
Then Amanda got an idea. “I’m actually looking for Nick Moriarty,” she said. “I’m his girlfriend. I’ve got something of his.”
“I’ll bet you do, sweetie,” said Lumpenstein, showing that awful tooth.
Mr. Onion opened his mouth to say something but Amanda pinched his arm so tightly that he shut it.
“I need to give him a key,” said Amanda.
“Key to what?” said Lumpenstein with interest.
“It’s private,” said Amanda.
“Ha ha, I’ll bet it is,” said Lumpenstein lasciviously.
“Shut up, Jackie,” said Mr. Onion.
“No, he’s right, Dad,” said Amanda, playing along with the cover story. “It is quite something. Now, wouldn’t you like to see Nick happy?”
“I wouldn’t like to see that kid at all,” said Lumpenstein, failing to realize that he’d just admitted to knowing the Moriartys after all, which of course he did since he worked in their factory. “All full of himself, he is.” He wasn’t the first person to say that. Ivy and Amphora felt the same way. Amanda still didn’t see what they were talking about.
“It’s important for Blixus too,” she said hoping he didn’t feel that way about Nick’s father too.
“Look, girlie,” said Lumpenstein. “I ain’t fallin’ for that. You ain’t got no key, and there ain’t nothin’ special that Moriarty kid needs that goes with a key, so forget it.”
“It’s for his boat,” Amanda blurted out.
“Boat?” said Lumpenstein. “You mean that old fishing boat, The Falls?”
Aha. So Jackie knew about the boat. “That’s the one.”
“Bah,” said Lumpenstein. “They left that at Windermere. They ain’t going to use it again.”
Amanda and Mr. Onion looked at each other. Jackie Lumpenstein obviously knew exactly where the Moriartys were. She got an idea.
“They will when Nick realizes that he left his Explosions! game there,” said Amanda. “He loves that. And don’t say he can get a new one because that one has all his saved games on it.” That was actually true.
“And the key is for what?” said Lumpenstein.
“He put the game in a lockbox and left it there accidentally,” said Amanda, continuing to invent. “Look, I know you think we have ulterior motives, and maybe we do,” Mr. Onion gave her a sharp look, “but I love Nick more than anything, and no matter what else he might have done I want him to have his game. It’s the only way I can show him how much I care. Someday he’ll be caught and he’ll want it when he’s in prison. Don’t you miss any of your possessions?”
“Yeah, I miss my twenty million pounds,” said Lumpenstein. “And my Cambridge University class ring.” He chuckled.
It seemed that Lumpenstein was a real joker. He certainly had the name for it. Gazillions of comedians were named Jackie, or used to be in the old days anyway.
“I can see that you don’t appreciate the relationship between a boy and his game,” said Amanda. “Fair enough. But surely there’s something in this world you love. Isn’t there? Whatever it is, wouldn’t you love to have it right now?”
Lumpenstein looked at her for a moment. “Well, there is my annotated meat cookbook,” he said hesitantly.
It wasn’t what she’d expected him to say, but if he wanted a meat cookbook, she could work with that.
“What if I could get that for you?” said Amanda. Mr. Onion kicked her softly under the counter. She kicked him back.
“Tell you what,” said Lumpenstein. “You get me that cookbook and I’ll find a way to get that key to Nick. Okay?”
“It’s a deal,” said Amanda before Mr. Onion could say anything.
Lumpenstein gave Mr. Onion a look of triumph, blew Amanda a kiss, and asked the guard to return him to his cell. As he walked through the door to the prisoners’ area, he did a little dance, causing his chains to rattle.
“What was that?” said Mr. Onion when Lumpenstein had gone. “You realize he can’t take your key.”
“I know that,” said Amanda. “But since I don’t actually have one, it doesn’t matter. Now we know he knows where they are, right? So all we need to do is send in an undercover agent to watch him and we’ll find out.”
“Is that what you think?” said Mr. Onion. “Miss Lester, this is nae television. We canna just grab an MI-5 agent, send him in there, and sit back and wait. And you do realize that he’s going to tip the Moriartys off, do you not?”
“I understand, but consider this. I don’t have a key, but I do have Nick’s game. Well, I don’t have it, but Headmaster Thrillkill does. Nick would want that game. I think he’ll come looking for it.”
“Don’t be naïve,” said Mr. Onion. “The boy is as ruthless as his da. He would never take a chance like that.”
Apparently he didn’t know Nick the way she did. “He would,” said Amanda. “He thinks he can get away with anything. He’ll come after it. He may not have thought about the game for a while, but once Jackie mentions it, he’ll remember.”
“And you’re going to watch for him, is that it? Of all the hare-brained, crazy schemes—”
“I’ll admit there’s a chance it won’t work,” said Amanda. “So just in case, shall we speak to the other Moriarty associate?”
“Guard,” said Mr. Onion, turning around and motioning as if calling a waiter. “We’re ready for Manny Companion.”
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