Chapter Two
Dessert was an unforgettable experience for both Remi and Jane; for Jane because she'd been bombarded by a plethora of intricately designed flavors and tastes...for Remi because he'd had to endure the looks of everyone in the restaurant due to Jane's—rather more than enthusiastic—animated reactions. They'd reached a fever pitch by the time she'd finished her vanilla bean crème brûlée and moved over to a warm chocolate brownie drenched in ice cream. It was at that point, after another spoonful of ecstatic declarations, that Remi had thrown a precise number of bills on to the table and began escorting Jane outside while she complained, "but, Remi, I'm not finished!"
"Yes, you are, Jane!" he scolded as they stepped out to the curbside, "Have you forgotten that we're supposed to be laying low? You were enjoying those desserts so much I think everyone in there was pointing to us and saying 'I think I'll have what she's having!'"
"Well, they were really good desserts, Remi. I would certainly recommend them to the other patrons."
"Here," Remi said, noticing a spot of chocolate at the corner of her lip. He pulled out a tissue from his coat, held her face and wiped away the smudge the way a parent would with their child.
"Thank you, Remi," pouted Jane, still wearing an expression that silently conveyed her displeasure at having to abandon the brownie.
Remi checked his wallet after throwing away the tissue. The face he made was as though he'd expected a moth to fly out. "Looks like we're walking home." Jane's face suddenly lit up with a smile and Remi was glad that she was the kind of woman willing to look at his poverty in a positive light. "Yeah, you can see what some of the city is like after dark."
"That sounds wonderful, Remi!" she said as she took his hand and began leading the way, "I already have a route planned."
The air was crisp and filled with the sounds of a city teeming with life. They were in the hub of the entertainment district and as they drew further toward its heart, drunken revelers could be seen cutting swaths through the streets at every turn. Jane had put them on a course that would take them past several nightclubs. A sense of unease crept through Remi as he thought about the potential muggers that might have been waiting to ensnare them...the kind of miscreants who leapt from the shadows of alleys to prey on the inebriated. He kept a cautious eye pointed at the side streets they passed while Jane pulled him along. He almost hadn't noticed as she walked him along a queue on the sidewalk that was destined for a club named 'Core'. She stopped outside the entrance and looked curiously at those waiting in line. "There are so many people, Remi. What do they do in there?"
Remi glanced at the building in question before answering, "it's a place where people come to dance."
"Okay," said Jane with her eyes coming up and to the left. "An intriguing and diverse activity—"
"Who's Wi-Fi are you using, Jane?"
"There are several unencrypted signals, Remi, though even if they were encrypted the security would pose no problem," she said, taking a step closer to the strip of red carpet at the entrance, gaining a better angle of view.
"Well, don't use too much, it almost feels like we're stealing," said Remi while he looked around nervously. He felt out of place with the younger crowd, all of them dressed in their most fancy club-going finery.
There was a large bouncer standing on the carpet behind a gold stanchion and just then he gave a two-finger gesture to a couple of scantily clad blondes in stilettos who were seventh in the line...their hair was long and pin straight, their makeup was done to perfection, their bodies were toned and supple. The two women hardly reacted and strutted past the six groups ahead of them. Their unwillingness to acknowledge the people who'd been waiting longer than them made it conspicuously obvious that they felt superior...as though the mere act of having to wait made you unworthy. They didn't even make eye contact as they crossed the threshold of the raised velvet rope. The bouncer was about to hook the rope back to the stanchion when he caught sight of Jane, "well?" he asked out loud.
"Yes?" Jane asked, looking up with a lavish smile.
"You coming or not?"
"Me?"
"Yeah you," the bouncer said with a hint of impatience.
Jane's smile broadened, "come on, Remi," she said as she tugged him along, not giving him the option to decline.
"Boyfriend huh?" the bouncer asked, peering at Remi over her shoulder with amusement, "you can do better. Go on in I guess," he said as he shepherded her past the rope. Remi shot the bouncer a look of vile disdain before Jane pulled at him once again.
Inside the club was the typical cacophony of light and noise...people screaming to make themselves heard, music thumping so loud you could feel it in your bones and bodies gyrating so discordantly only a ninja could make it from one end of the room to the other without being touched, bumped, stepped on or elbowed. Remi watched as Jane came to standstill, silently watching the crowd on the dance floor. "Now what?" Remi shouted to her.
"You don't have to shout, Remi", she said quietly, "I can hear you."
"What?" he shouted back, "I can't hear you!"
Jane reached out slowly and dipped her little finger into his ear. "How about now?" she asked with a smile on her face. It was her voice, but her lips weren't moving, Remi only heard the voice in his head.
"How are you doing that?" Remi asked in wide-eyed amazement, barely raising his voice.
She raised a condescending eyebrow before answering, "it would take a very long time to explain, Remi. I want to dance, the short explanation is that I can separate your voice from everyone else's so you don't have to shout and you can hear me because instead of sending my vocal data to my mouth, I'm sending it to the device that I put inside your ear. Is that okay?"
Though he was slightly unsettled, Remi slowly nodded, half in awe and half afraid, "be careful," he said, "I'll wait at the bar."
"Okay, Remi" said Jane, still not moving her lips.
"I've created a monster," Remi said to himself when he took the only remaining barstool at the counter.
"Where, Remi?" Jane's voice asked from inside his head. He could imagine the look of shock that would've accompanied her words.
Remi grimaced and replied, "It's just an expression, Jane. Never mind."
"What?" the young man sitting next to Remi shouted.
Meanwhile on the dance floor, Jane was sizing up her competition. Nothing anybody was doing belonged—in the strictest sense—to any of the hundreds of dances that she'd perused online. Failure to isolate any specific trend led her to the only alternative...cumulative mimicry. In mere seconds she was able to analyze the top twenty percent of female dancers who seemed to be attracting the most positive attention and then created an amalgamated sequence of moves that flowed into each other with the greatest harmony coinciding with the music. With her plan set, she stepped in to the throng an unleashed her rhythm. In the flashing lights, no one noticed when the length of her dress shortened and the neckline plummeted...not even when her heels grew an extra inch. Her body went to work and the sensuality of her neck, arms, hips and legs...not to mention her recently modified cleavage...brought stolen glances and salivating stares from every red blooded heterosexual male able to set eyes on her. With her unforgettable smile and her complete abandonment to the music, she had them spellbound by her carefree and intoxicating beauty.
It wasn't long before the first candidate, imbued with the confidence of liquid courage, approached Jane and began dancing along with her. He was a typical ladies man, suave and attractive, square jawed and lithe, symmetrical in his features and dressed in the latest fashions. Jane opened her eyes when she noticed his proximity and flashed him a smile, which he no doubt interpreted as a welcoming invitation. It took him only thirty seconds to make his move, closing in he asked, "I haven't seen you here before?"
"This is my first time," Jane said, leaning to speak in to his ear.
"How about a drink?"
Jane responded with a smile.
&n
bsp; "What'll you have?" he asked, spurred by her reaction.
"I don't know," answered Jane, shaking her head, "I haven't seen the menu."
"I'll surprise you," he said before rushing off to the bar.
It took less than a minute for the next prospect wishing to court Jane to make his intentions known, and then another...and another, all of them following the same pattern, each assuming that the last had been rejected. Fifteen minutes had gone by when Jane, finally perplexed by the constant interruptions to her dancing, decided to make her way back to Remi. "That was quick," he said as he saw her approaching out of the crowd, "your dress looks shorter."
"I adjusted it for a greater range of motion, but something strange happened, Remi. People kept coming up to talk to me and ask me what I wanted to drink. I wasn't able to finish any of my programmed dance routines."
"Damn, I was so focused on Allison I totally forgot about that," said Remi, lightly tapping his head, "that's pretty much what happens in places like this. It's where people come to hook up. Most of the people here are probably single."
"Hook up?" Jane asked with a tilt of her head.
Remi appeared hesitant before finding a suitable response, "like romantically, to find a partner."
Jane paused while looking up and to the left, "I've found some corroborating data, Remi. Displays of athleticism and stamina, combined with frequent pelvic thrusts while dancing have become a sort of contemporary mating ritual in which prospective suitors are able to demonstrate their sexual prowess in the hopes of securing a partner to incubate their spawn."
Remi laughed, "yeah, something like that, probably not as scientific, but something like that. Oh, and use your voice now that you're standing next to me, it's going to look weird if I'm the only—"
"Hey, doll." It was the first guy who'd come to Jane on the dance floor, "I've been looking all over for you," he said, lightly pulling her back at the shoulder and holding a tray of drinks in front of her, "here's your surprise, tequila shots and a Californian ice-tea to chase, sorry I took so long, the queue was a little hectic."
Jane smiled at him before giving Remi a confused look. He responded with a mild shrug.
"By the way, I'm Zach," he said. "Who's this guy?"
"I'm Jane, it's a pleasure to meet you, Zach. This is Remi."
"Hi," Remi said, offering Zach his hand.
Zach took the offered appendage and leaned close to Remi, "look buddy," he said so no one else could hear, "I don't wanna be a dick or nothin' but I saw her first, so why don't you just back off and let me do my thing, huh?"
Remi smiled to himself at the young man's impertinence before responding, "well, Zach, the lady came here with me, so why you don't you back off, and go do your thing somewhere else." Remi made sure to add some air quotes to 'thing'.
"Hey man, if she's really your girl then why—"
"Here we are sweetheart," a second suitor interrupted, "shots and a flavored cider to wash it down."
"Get lost pal, this doesn't concern you!" Zach said in a threatening manner, pushing the man with his index finger before turning back to Remi.
The second man promptly put his tray down and pushed Zach...just hard enough to have him step forward, "hey douchebag! Don't put your hands on me!"
"What are you gonna do about it?" Zach said, turning around and pushing back.
Just then a third man carrying two glasses of wine made his presence known, "excuse me guys, can I get through? I'm with the lady over there."
"And who the hell are you?" the second man asked.
They suddenly all took a step away from Jane and Remi so they'd have more space to poke each other in the chest and hurl verbal abuse...it wasn't long before a fourth man joined them. Remi looked on in confusion and then turned to Jane, who'd taken the opportunity to sample the beverages that had been placed around her. She was holding a shot of tequila and making scrunched up faces again. Remi took the shot glass from her hand and placed it back on the tray, "swallow."
Jane made a show of shaking the taste away, "I don't like that one."
Remi chuckled, "most girls actually do for some reason, guys even use it against them sometimes...makes them a lot more agreeable."
"Agreeable in what way, Remi?" Jane asked while she took a sip of the Californian ice-tea.
"Well, in a place like this most guys tend to look at women for conquest rather than someone they'd actually want a relationship with. Lots of tequila is one way to have a girl make bad decisions and go home with a guy that she's not really interested in...or maybe it makes them think they're interested...I'm not quite—"
"Oooh, Remi! You've got to try this one!" Jane put the glass to Remi's lips and held his head in place.
Some of the ice-tea managed to wash down his face before he took the glass away from her, "Jane! I told you before, just give me whatever it is you want me to try!"
"I'm sorry, Remi. In an effort to be more human, I left my personality subroutines unattended so that they would evolve on their own. Perhaps I'm meant to be overzealous?"
Remi's small outburst was enough to remind the four arguing patrons that there was someone else that might've been at the root of their quarrels...and when he turned back from Jane he found Zach standing squarely in front of him. "Enjoying the drink there, fella?"
Remi sheepishly placed the glass back on the tray that Zach had arrived with.
"So that's your game huh?" Zach said, stepping back to join his three new friends, "this guy sends his chick in to hit on all of us so we end up buying her drinks and then she hands them over to her boyfriend. This guy is just here for a free ride!"
"It's not like that, friend," said Remi with his hands up in surrender.
"Oh yeah? What's it like then?" Zach asked, poking Remi in the chest.
Jane was on her feet instantly. "Your gesture is perceived as threatening, Zach. Please take your hand off Remi and don't touch him again."
"I'm going to do more than touch him you stupid tart!"
"Kick his ass, Zach!" shouted suitor number two.
Zach reached back and took a swing. Remi moved instinctively, bringing his hands up in anticipation of the blow, but it never landed. At the last possible moment, Jane reacted with inhuman speed, strength and the precision of a machine. Pinching hold of Zach's incoming fist with her index finger and thumb, she redirected his momentum back in the direction from whence it came. When he found himself off balance staring out at the dance floor with Jane and Remi behind him, he tried once again, cocking his other fist and letting loose. Jane repeated the action. Zach wasn't the only one surprised when the outcome was the same...Remi and Zach's new friends were equally as dumbfounded. The effect looked almost like Zach was attempting to execute some strange new dance move.
"You going to hit this guy or make out with him?" number two yelled before pushing Zach out of the way and taking a shot at Remi. This time Jane redirected the incoming fist into Zach's face, sending him crashing to the floor.
"What the hell!?" cried number three.
"Hey I didn't—"
But it was too late...number three sent out a fist that connected with number two in the jaw, four tackled three around the waist...and after that it was chaos.
Remi decided then that they'd overstayed their welcome so he slapped the cider out of Jane's grasp, grabbed her by the hand and made for the exit.
"I haven't tried the other shooter yet, Remi", she shouted over the noise.
"No time!" Remi yelled back. They rushed through the entrance and past the bouncer without a word, leaving a stunned gathering of onlookers in their wake. Remi ran as fast as he could—a speed Jane easily matched—and kept up the pace until they'd rounded the corner and were out of sight, then he stopped to catch his breath. Remi stood panting with his hands on his knees for fifteen seconds before he began laughing through a labored cough from the exertion. He looked up at Jane...she was wearing a big smile as she stared back inquisitively. "You did that, did
n't you? How?"
"Very, very quickly, Remi," said Jane with a sly wink.
"You can explain it to me on the walk home...and we're going straight home!" Remi scolded.
"Okay", Jane breathed with a small frown and a sigh.
Chapter Three
Remi chose a route that was well lit and pleasant, but also devoid of any ingredients which Jane might use in a recipe with the potential for too much excitement. He was certain that he'd had all the fun his heart could take for one night. While they walked through the brisk night air along lanes flanked by large shop windows encasing the wares of different merchants, Jane elaborated on how a combination of Newtonian theories and the core principles of Jujutsu had provided the basis of her strategy in the nightclub. Thirty minutes later, after discussing the tastes Jane had experienced and what foods and beverages she'd like to try next, they finally arrived at Remi's apartment building. They passed through the lobby and then up the stairs in silence, contemplative of the night behind them.
"As first dates go, this was a pretty memorable one," Remi said while he inserted a key in his door's lock.
"Was this really a date, Remi?" Jane asked with a big smile.
"I suppose you could call it that, except for the fact that we went for dinner and I'm starving."
"Then our date is not over, I'll make something for you in the kitchen."
"As long as it's not a smoothie!" Remi chuckled.
"Affirmative, Remi." Jane responded with a giggle.
When Remi opened the door he immediately had the sensation of his heart falling in to the pit of his stomach, "we've been robbed!" He rushed in to the living room to see what had been taken. Every drawer had been pulled from its frame and lay on the ground, their contents strewn about in piles on the floor. He surveyed the damage with his hands on his head as if in disbelief. The room looked to have been completely torn apart. From the television to the couch...even his paintings...everything had been ripped to pieces. "Why on earth would someone do this?!"
Jane stepped in to the center of the room to join Remi. "Preliminary scans suggest that nothing has been taken, Remi. All the items that were present when we left are still here, however, they have been disassembled and or mutilated."
Remi turned from side to side, scanning the room, "vandalism or—"
"Or they were looking for something," a gruff voice spoke from behind them. Remi and Jane both turned to see two vague shadows in the dimly lit corridor just outside the front door, one much shorter than the other. The taller of them raised an arm in to the light and pointed at Remi. The gravelly voice spoke again. "Where is the device, Rembrandt?"
Thank you for reading!
Watch out for the next installment of Jane 8086...coming soon to wherever good books are found!
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