Page 7 of Affirmation

Page 7

  “Matt said all of that?”

  “Word for word. ”

  Oh my gosh. I can’t believe Matt actually did that.

  “So tell me everything that happened. Spare me no detail,” I urge him.

  Cal proceeds to lay out the entire story. He says Matt listened without any comment and no snide remarks as Cal embarrassingly recounted what happened that night. Cal says he didn’t pull any punches with Matt, including telling him that he was drunk and that contributed to what happened, but it was no excuse and all the fault lay with him. He made sure Matt understood that he didn’t “finish the job,” but that he knew that didn’t make it any better. Cal finished off by telling Matt that he could never begin to tell him how sorry he was, and although he really doesn’t deserve it, he would do just about anything to get Matt’s forgiveness.

  “Then what happened?” I asked with bated breath. This was better than any Hallmark or Lifetime movie.

  “Matt simply told me that he forgave me. He said that he had been doing a lot of soul searching, and he felt that he was not the man he had the potential to be if he was carrying around all of that bitterness. He also said he forgave Marissa, although that would be another conversation he’d have to have with her. ”

  “Oh my God,” I whisper, my heart swelling with joy that Matt opened himself up to forgiveness. “I just can’t believe it. How do you feel?”

  “I feel light, Mac. I feel f**king light. The weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I know Matt will still never be anything more to me than a professional acquaintance. The loss of his friendship will be the cross I’ll always bear. But knowing that he’s telling me to let it go… that means the f**king world. ”

  Tears well up in my eyes because I’m so happy for Cal and so very damn proud of Matt. I wish he were here right this very moment, so I could give him a huge hug.

  “So, there was one other thing,” Cal says, interrupting my very own Hallmark moment. “Remember when I said I told Matt I’d do just about anything to get his forgiveness?”

  “Yeah. ”

  “Well, he already called that chip in. ”

  Dread wells up inside of me. “What does he want you to do?”

  “Well…” Cal says, hedging a little and clearly afraid that I might not like what he’s getting ready to say.

  “What did that ass**le make you do, Cal?” I grit out, getting all incensed on Cal’s behalf, before really even knowing what he will tell me.

  “Calm down there, Annie Get Your Gun,” Cal says with a laugh. “Actually… it’s not much that he asked me to do. First, he said he had an idea he wanted to run by me and get my opinion on. And once I listened to him, and gave him my thoughts about his idea, the real favor he wanted had to do with you. ”

  My breath seems to be caught somewhere between the top of my lungs and the bottom of my throat, so all I can do is whisper, “What’s that?”

  “Well… Matt is standing right outside of your office at this very moment, and all I need to do is convince you to give him ten minutes of your time and listen to what he has to say. So, what do you think… can you do that?”

  My head starts spinning. I glance around my office to make sure I haven’t fallen down the rabbit hole, but nope… still in my office.

  “I’ll talk to you later, Cal,” I tell him and then disconnect.

  Standing up, I walk to my office door and open it.

  Just as Cal said, Matt is standing there, looking somber and slightly uncomfortable. I step back, making a sweeping gesture with my arm for him to come in. Turning, I head back to my desk, hoping that my racing heart won’t cause coronary arrest. Matt doesn’t move from the door but stands there with his hands in his pockets, watching me.

  I start the conversation. “Cal said you forgave him. ”

  Matt shrugs his shoulders as if it were nothing. “It needed to be done. ”

  “Why is that?” I ask, completely fearful and yet totally needing him to tell me.

  But he doesn’t. Instead, he reaches into his coat pocket and throws an envelope on my desk. I immediately recognize it as the envelope that had my letter of resignation in it. The words “Matthew Connover” are written in my completely messy handwriting.

  I glance up to Matt, who returns my stare.

  “Open it,” he says.

  Opening the flap, I reach inside and pull out a pile of paper, all torn up into itty-bitty pieces. I can see clearly enough that it’s my letter of resignation, completely shredded.

  “I don’t accept your resignation,” he says, his voice authoritative and commanding.

  “Excuse me?” I say in shock.

  “You heard me. You’re not quitting. I need you. ”

  Hmmmm. He needs me?

  “You don’t need me,” I scoff at him. “You can put an ad in the paper and have a hundred attorneys lined up in the morning, all with better grades and references than I have. ”

  “No,” Matt says with equal authority. “You don’t get it. I. Need. You. ”

  He punctuates each word so that I hear him clearly.

  I. Need. You.

  And that’s all it takes for my heart to start really hammering. Matt takes two steps until he is directly in front of me, and I have to lean my head back to look up at him from my chair. He doesn’t make me strain my neck for long because he drops to his knees in front of me.

  His eyes hold me. I see all the things I’ve been dying to see. Desire, care, nurturing, tenderness, and passion.

  I also see something else.

  Pleading.

  His eyes plead with me to understand something, but I’m not sure what it is he wants me from me. Before I can even fathom a guess, he leans in, wraps his arms around my waist, and lays his head in my lap.

  He squeezes me, gently, and I can’t stop my hands from coming up and stroking his head.

  He stays in that position for several minutes, just squeezing me, his head nestled in my lap. My mind is racing… I have no clue what this means.

  Finally, he lifts his head and looks up at me. The pleading is still there, along with fear and uncertainty.

  “I need you, Mac,” he says with a shaky voice. “I need your smile, your touch, and your wit. I need your tenderness, your brilliance, and your common sense. I need you to be my champion, and I need you to want to come home to me every night. I need all of those things… desperately. I think I might die without them. ”

  He stares at me… a storm of emotions brewing within those golden eyes, and my heart is thundering so hard right now, I’m surprised he can’t hear it.

  “You need me?” I ask, completely shell shocked over his proclamation.

  He nods and his lips curve upward, his dimples just starting to pop. “You’re usually not this dense, Mac. ”

  I smile in return and push my hair behind one ear, leaning it slightly toward him. “It’s just… I’m not sure I heard you correctly. You did say you need me?”

  “Yes,” he says as his hands come up to hold my head. He leans in and kisses me, so very sweetly. “I need you because I love you. When you love someone the way I love you, the need for that person is unquenchable. ”

  “And when did you come to this realization?”

  The smile he gives me is so loving, that my heart just turns over and kicks its little heart feet up in submission.

  “I think I’ve always known it. I was just too filled with so many other things that I refused to acknowledge it. But last night… I held you while you slept, and I just laid there… the entire time, realizing how wonderful it felt to have your body next to mine. When it got close to the time I needed to leave so I could get ready for work, I felt like my heart was being f**king pulled out of my chest. That’s the moment I decided to acknowledge it. ”

  “Why didn’t you just stick around… tell me then?”

  “Because I had to let my hatred of Cal go first. And Mac, I mean it with every breath in my body. I did hate him. B
ut the minute I decided to forgive him, I became a different person. A better person. ”

  My hand reaches out, and I stroke his cheek. His eyes close at my touch, and a serene smile lays over those sexy as f**k lips. “I’m so proud of you, Matt. You’re really kind of amazing. ”

  “And you love me?” he asks with a grin, as he stands up and pulls me from my chair.

  “What makes you think that?” I tease him, just before he leans in and kisses me.

  It’s a kiss I’ll never forget. It’s our first true kiss, because it’s being done after he proclaimed his love for me. When his lips finally leave mine, he answers, “Because you already told me you did. ”

  I wrap my arms around his neck and step into his body. “Yeah, I guess I did. ”

  “Say it again,” he demands of me.

  And because I’d give him anything he asked of me, I say, “I love you… so much. ”

  We kiss again, and it starts out sweet but, before long, we’re both pressing into each other hard and our breaths are choppy.

  “Let’s take the rest of the day off,” he whispers urgently in my ear. “I need to be inside of you. ”

  I groan over the thought but shake my head in denial. “I can’t. I have to get this stuff finished. You know, today’s my last day and all. ”

  Matt laughs and kisses me again. “Didn’t you understand me? I’m not accepting your resignation. There’s no way I’m letting you out of my sight. And I sure as hell don’t want you working around Cal unattended. I don’t trust the bastard. ”

  “Hey!” I exclaim and punch him on the shoulder. “I thought you forgave him?”

  Matt looks at me in all seriousness. “I did, Mac. But I don’t like him. We’re not friends. ”

  Sighing, I lay my head on his chest and squeeze him tight. “No, I don’t suppose you are. You did more than enough by offering forgiveness. But I can’t turn my back on him. I made a deal with him to open up a law firm. ”

  “Yeah, well… I sort of might have changed his mind after I talked to him today. ”

  I pull back and look at Matt. He has a sheepish expression on his face.

  “What did you do?” I ask, already trying to shame him with my tone.

  Matt holds his hands up in defense. “Nothing bad, I swear it. I just sort of offered him a job here, as long as you agreed to stay. ”

  “What?” I ask, stunned beyond comprehension. “You asked Cal… your arch nemesis… to come work for you? I thought you said you didn’t trust the bastard. ”

  “I don’t,” Matt says smugly. “What better way to keep tabs on him than having him come work for me?”

  I arch an eyebrow up in skepticism. He returns my stare, and we poker face each other.

  Then he cracks.

  “Fine,” he says with a long-suffering sigh. “I want you to stay. You’re a brilliant attorney, and you’re going places. I want you on my team. I also want you within reach of me at all times because I love you to f**king death. So, the easiest thing seemed to be for me to get Cal on board. I knew you had committed to him, but if he came here, you’d stay. ”

  “You’re rotten,” I scold him. “And completely selfish. ”

  “When it comes to you, you’re damn right I am. But talk to Cal… you both have a decision to make. ”

  Wrapping my arms back around his neck, I stand on my tiptoes and give him a light kiss. “I’ll talk to Cal, and we’ll see. But for now… let’s get out of here. ”

  Matt doesn’t need any more encouragement; the promise of our bodies coming together the minute we step over the threshold of his apartment… or mine… is almost too overwhelming.