***
March 2, 3:39 A.M.
The sleeping pill did its job. I fell asleep within half an hour of taking it. I wish it hadn’t worked at all.
Hiding behind the Infinity tree, I saw you with a little more detail this time. You’re a muscular human silhouette. My heart raced as I watched you in the distance walking toward me, snarling. I slept a full five hours before you ran toward me, your menacing growls reverberating through my chest. I woke in a cold sweat.
The doctor wasn’t right about letting my dream play out. I’m more afraid than I had been in our previous encounters.
I fear you, but I won’t live like this anymore. I’m going to confront you tonight. Tear me apart if you want, but you will haunt me no more.
***
Claire opened my bedroom door as I curled the ends of my hair with my flat iron. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, and she looked rested and beautiful in her navy pantsuit.
“Hun, I left you some pancakes on the table. Call Dr. Jameson to tell him how you felt after taking the pill. Keep the caffeine intake to a minimum today and please, please remember to lock the front door. You’ve been so absent minded lately,” she said, all in one breath.
“Will do,” I said, twisting the flat iron on the last strand of hair that needed curling.
Claire walked over to me and kissed my head. “Thanks for taking the medication, baby. You have no idea how relieved I am.” She took one last look at me, smiled, and closed the door.
“I’m off to work!” I heard her yell down the hall.
“’Kay!” I hollered back, setting down the flat iron.
My eyes felt heavy as I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Today the girl that stared back at me looked like she was making an effort. But that was just a likeness of the girl that once was. On the inside, the nightmare was on automatic replay in her head. Would it ever stop?
I took a closer look at the dark circles under my eyes. They didn’t change much overnight. I applied more concealer than usual to keep Andy from worrying. My cell phone rang while I was dabbing the last of the makeup under my left eye.
“So, you need a ride today, or are you still sleepwalking to school?” Andy teased.
“Ha… I’m walking.”
“The pill didn’t make you sleep?”
“Yeah, it did. I slept about five hours or so.”
“What’d you dream?”
“Same thing, only…” I paused, “with a little more detail to the beast.”
“Tell me about it at school?”
“Sure. Let me finish getting ready.”
A car honk on Andy’s end of the line made me pull the phone away from my ear.
“Bill just got here. Sure you don’t want a ride?”
“I need the walk, but thanks,” I said.
“Suit yourself. See you in a bit.”
***
At school, I told Andy and Bill how that thing in my dream had leapt and ran toward me, growling. This was the first time I told them a detailed account of any dream.
“Do you think it might be something, you know, having to do with demons or evil spirits?” Bill asked.
“Bill…” I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I did not need to hear that. I already pray like a religious fanatic. You’re only adding to my nightmares.”
“Geez, Isis! Why didn’t you ever tell us how scared you really are? Does my dad know about this?”
“Of course.”
***
For most of the morning, I couldn’t seem to get Bill’s words out of my head. Demons or evil spirits. I felt drowsy and unable to direct much attention to my morning classes. I wasn’t looking forward to taking that pill again since all it did was prolong the nightmare. But I would take it, and I would confront the creature.
At lunch, I called Dr. Jameson to tell him how my night had gone. He wasn’t too pleased that I had only slept five hours. He suggested I take the pill earlier and double the dose. I tried to argue, but then I remembered how much Claire wanted me to cooperate. I didn’t want to see her break down again. I’d bear it for my mom’s sake.
***
At exactly eight o’clock, Claire had a glass of warm milk waiting for me at the kitchen table. She extended a fist, and then opened it, revealing two pills, instead of one. I took them without argument. Claire walked me to my room and sat on my bed as the medication eased its way through my blood stream.
“You don’t have to sleep with me, you know? I’ll be okay.” I patted Claire’s hand as she tucked me in like she had done every night until I was eleven.
“I’ll just stick around until you fall asleep,” she said.
My head felt fuzzy, and my body started relaxing. This part of the sleeping process I didn’t mind. It had been a long time since I felt calm before falling asleep. Maybe tonight would be different from the rest. Maybe, just maybe, tonight I would dream something pleasant.
When I woke into my dream, I lay in a familiar field surrounded by a bed of golden-orange flowers. The Infinity tree waved its newborn leaves in a symbolic “hello”.
The scent of sandalwood danced on my nose along with an aromatic wave of flowers. I inhaled the sweetness in the air. Poppy petals caressed my skin, imitating the finest of silks ever woven. As I turned to admire the lavender and rose-colored sky that so brilliantly contrasted with the meadow, I saw it—its dark shadow in the distance. I knew it would be waiting. With apprehension, I stood and forced myself to walk toward the shadowy presence. I wanted to stop when I saw it spring forward, charging toward me, but I was tired and angry and wanted this nightmare to end. I kept going. I wouldn’t be intimidated by a figment of my own psyche. My dreams were mine to control.
As this thing saw me approach, it let out an echoing growl that bounced off my chest. It charged toward me at an unbelievable pace. I shut my eyes but continued to walk toward it. My heart raced with fear. Desperate for strength, I started to recite the Father’s Prayer, but I couldn’t remember the words. I kept waiting for the oncoming attack. I listened in terror to the sound of its heavy feet approaching me. All of a sudden, the meadow grew silent, and I couldn’t hear the creature’s steps anymore.
I opened my eyes and tried to focus. The blood drained from my face as I found it standing in front of me, its cold glare penetrating my eyes. Its snarls resonated like rolling thunder through the field. My trembling legs threatened to collapse as it held my stare. I was frozen, unable to even blink. Its contour became a blur to me. As it saw that I had no intention of retreat, it took a step back, and my eyes regained focus.
The monster was no monster at all. He was a tall, sculpted young man. His hair was as black as a raven’s glossy coat of feathers. His skin was the color of pure gold and his eyes were a rare indigo blue. And to my surprise, he had wings. The wingspan had to be at least six feet across, which made his stature appear even more colossal. He wore nothing but a white, gold-lined loin skirt. My mouth dropped. I was speechless.
“Why do you keep coming here?” he asked.
I struggled to speak, still in shock from that which I had thought was a monstrosity. He was somehow angelic, crafted in perfection, and beautiful all over.
“Why are you here?” he asked again.
I snapped out of my daze and stammered, “This… this is my dream.” I drew up courage from some hidden place and plowed ahead. “I control my dreams, and I’m not afraid of you. You’re just a fictional character in my overactive imagination.”
He sat on a large rock, a fist under his chin as if in thought. We stared at each other, neither of us speaking.
“You have no business here. Leave… now,” he said, finally.
“Who are you to kick me out of my own dreams?” I said.
“I’m your dream weaver, my lovely. Something you are ignorant of in your reality.”
“No. You’re only a figment of my imagination, and I’m not afraid of you.”
“You’re a sprightl
y little thing, aren’t you? Just full of charisma.” His smug tone made me dislike him even more. He stood, took a few steps in my direction, and let out a vicious growl.
I whimpered.
“You lie when you say you do not fear me. You fear me plenty.”
“What’s there to fear if you aren’t real?”
“Oh, on the contrary, I’m plenty real, and I can prove it.”
“Prove it then. I’ll be waiting.”
I heard another low growl forming in his chest, his Adam’s apple vibrating. He jumped up and set his face an inch away from mine, then bared his teeth as his top lip quivered. I prayed like my life depended on it. He softened his glare, took a step back, and vanished, leaving behind a cloud of golden shimmer. He was gone. I sat underneath the Infinity tree with a wide smile across my face. The field was mine to dream in again.
***
For the first time in months, I awoke to the blaring of my phone alarm. The sound of a bomb siren that I had programmed into the phone scared the bejeezus out of Claire, who sprung off the bed and landed on her hands and knees on the floor. I burst out laughing, unable to help her up.
“Turn that stupid thing off!”
After I quieted the alarm, I tried as hard as I could to help her stand, but ended up rolling on the floor, cackling. I could tell Claire was holding back a smile.
“Too funny!” I laughed. “The look on your face…”
“Shut up and get dressed,” she said, slamming the door to my room. I could hear her giggling in the hallway.
***
I arrived at school smiling and a little drowsy from the medication. Bill was the first to notice my mood. My glossy eyes must have tipped him off.
“Are you high, or did you just get some sleep?”
“Both. I slept the whole night.”
Andy handed me an oatmeal cookie.
“You look better,” she said.
“Yeah,” I yawned. “But I’m so sleepy.”
“So, tell me about your dream.”
“I confronted him, Andy, and get this. He wasn’t a monster at all. He was just a guy with wings and gold skin… who growled a lot.”
“A golden boy with wings? Yeah, that’s scary alright.” Bill rolled his eyes.
“Wow! Maybe he was an angel,” Andy said.
“Trust me, he was no angel. He growled at me, and right in my face. I was so scared that I thought I needed a new pair of undies. He’s gone, though. I told him I wasn’t afraid of him and—poof—he was gone. I hope he’s gone forever.”
“Call my dad to tell him the news later,” Andy said.
“Mmm hmm.” I nodded, putting the last piece of the cookie in my mouth.
***
It was hard to stay awake through my morning classes. During lunch, I updated Dr. Jameson on my condition.
“Isis, I hear you slept like a baby.” I wondered if it had been Claire or Andy who had gotten the news to him first.
“I did, but I’m way too drowsy. I think I should cut back to one pill again.”
“You might feel that way until your body grows accustomed to the medication. We’ll continue with two pills. Just remember, no operating any heavy machinery during Home Ec.,” Dr. Jameson laughed at his own lame joke.
“Wait a minute, Dr. Jameson. Just how long am I going to be on this stuff?”
“We’ll try two more weeks and see if that’s enough for you to get your rhythm of sleep back in sync.”
“Two weeks? What if I can fall asleep without the pills?”
“Two weeks, Isis. No exceptions.”
***
In study hall, which is when I usually get most of my work done for the next day, my eyelids were too heavy to keep open. When I rested my cheek on my arm, I was almost instantaneously immersed into dreamland.
I found myself sitting on a large rock in the meadow. The Infinity tree was in its usual place, several feet away. I twisted my neck in the direction of the sunset to see if that snarling angel was there, but there was no sign of him.
“Ha!” I smiled to myself. I had indeed outdone my subconscious. No more nightmares. I was finally free.
As I admired the sunset, I felt something heavy land on my shoulder. Startled, I gasped and fell back, landing splayed at the creature’s feet.
“If you insist on coming here, we might as well make a truce. Although, you’re not supposed to be here, you know? You have no idea of the quandary that may beset the both of us if you’re discovered.”
“You’re not even real. Why bother?” I said, dusting off my pants, and then returned to my place on the rock, ignoring his gesture to help me up.
“Don’t tempt fate, dear girl. You know not what I’m capable of.”
“You can’t intimidate me,” I said. “I know you’re not real. Look at you, all gold and feathery and… whatever.” I looked away.
I didn’t see or hear him move, but all of a sudden, he was right in front of me. He took my hand and placed it on his chest. I could feel his heart beating.
“Is that real enough for you?”
“It’s a vivid dream; anything’s possible.”
“You’re stubborn.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry, but I don’t take criticism from people that don’t exist.”
He took my arms firmly and looked into my face.
“I am real,” he said, adding pressure to the grip he had on me. He released me when I squirmed. He took two steps away from me. I turned away from him, but I felt his gaze on me as I rubbed my upper arms.
“Forgive me,” he said. “I’d like to know your name.”
I turned to look at him.
“You’ve harassed me for three months and now you want to be my buddy? Pfft… You’re out of your mind. Go flap your wings somewhere else.”
“My sincere apologies, and it hasn’t been three months that I’ve watched you come and go. It’s been almost a year. I don’t understand why you keep coming back even after I’ve tried to lure you away. You’re the only human ever to enter Somnium. The gods would have your head and mine, as well, if they knew you were here.”
Just the night before, this creature almost bit my head off, and now he was Chatty Cathy, trying to befriend me. For a second I wondered if this was a side effect of the sleeping pill. I’d have to check into that as soon as I woke up.
“Stubborn girl?”
“That’s not my name.”
“Tell me your name then.”
“Tell me yours first.”
“That’s childish of you.”
I hated being called immature. I was seventeen and wore real bras now. I was without a doubt mature.
“I’m not childish.”
“Then why not just tell me your name… Isis, is it not?”
I gasped. “How did you know that?”
“I know many things. Everything you dream is right here.” He tapped the side of his head with his two fingers.
Suddenly, I remembered that this was a dream—my dream, not his.
“Listen, dream boy, you’re part of my subconscious, and my subconscious knows everything about me. Of course you’re going to know my name. How naive do you think I am?” I turned around and began to walk away.
“Wait.” He followed, placing his hand on my shoulder to stop me. Out of nowhere, there was that glorious smell of sandalwood. “A proper introduction is in order.”
“I doubt there’s room left for formalities.”
“Then let’s begin again. My name is David.” He extended his arm and took my hand in his, pressing his lips to my knuckles. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Isis.”
“Isis...Isis.” I heard Andy’s voice echoing as David shimmered into nothing.
“He’s not real,” I mumbled as I woke up.
“No, he isn’t. Now, let’s get to class before they count our tardy.” Andy pulled me out of the desk.
In a dash, I grabbed my books, stuffed them into my bag, and rushed to
the final class of the day. As I took the tardy slip from Mrs. Vincent, I noticed a glittery gold substance on the back of my right hand.
“Hey, Andy,” I whispered. “What is this?” I pointed to my knuckles.
“Looks like gold eye shadow.”
“In the shape of lips?”
“It’s probably lip-gloss from when you were asleep last period.”
“But I’m not wearing gold lip-gloss.”
“Girls!” Mrs. Vincent snapped. “Do you mind if I continue with the lecture?”
“Sorry!” Andy said.
Was this his kiss? No, it couldn’t be. He wasn’t real. Maybe I did have lip-gloss on this afternoon and didn’t remember. I rubbed the gold smudge to feel the consistency. I was sure now that it wasn’t lip-gloss. The substance was like silk powder.
From my bag, I fished out my powder compact and looked in the mirror. I wasn’t wearing gold eye shadow either. I rubbed the substance off the back of my hand. Both hands were covered in luminous gold sparkles.
I didn’t tell Andy that the gold dust could have come from that last dream. I’d be crazy to tell her I thought the golden boy could be real.
***
When eight o’clock rolled around that night, I told Claire I wanted to see if I could go to sleep without the pills. I explained that I had dozed off at school, but she said I needed the help to catch up on lost sleep.
I closed my eyes and cleared my mind of everything. I was sitting next to a stream in my dreamland, the land that David had called Somnium. I was sure I was asleep, and I felt very much in control of my dream.
“Back again, eh?” The voice coming from behind me made me jump.
“I wish you would stop showing up like that.” My heart pounded hard against my chest.
“As I wish you would, as well.”
I ignored him and dragged my hand through the cool stream water. After a moment of silence, David took a seat next to me.
“May I ask you a question?” All of sudden he was “Mister Proper,” again. His mood swings gave me vertigo.
I shrugged, “Whatever.”
“How did you find this place? You come here every single time you sleep.”
“I don’t know, really. I just think about it when I’m dozing off, and then I’m here, or wherever I want to be.”
“I see.” He looked me over from head to toe.
“What?”
“You’re quite petite. That’s lovely in a woman.”