“I got your back whatever,” she muttered but then her eyes locked with mine. “That said, I do not like bullshit phone calls. I get this was serious shit for you and your head was probably all over the place. But I do not like bullshit phone calls. I’ll make that point now, expect you to let that shit sink in and we’ll move on long’s I got your word that shit has sunk in.”
“It’s sunk in. You have my word and I’m sorry for the bullshit,” I replied quietly.
She held my eyes. Then she jerked up her chin.
And that was Bessie. She was a bright bulb, always had been. She’d learned early to withhold her trust until it was earned and to say it like it was so no one could mistake where she was coming from. But once you had her trust, her loyalty and devotion were worth every effort it took to earn it. Except, of course, as it was with many girls, when it came to her love life. With that, as it was with many girls, she was all screwed up.
I looked to Ella.
“Ella?” I whispered.
She looked away and licked her lips.
“Ella?” I called, still whispering.
She kept her eyes averted and leaned heavily into her hand in the island.
“Ella, please,” I begged.
She looked back at me.
“Moved on. My baby’s moved on,” she said quietly, her voice trembling. “And the last thing my son gave to you before you moved on was the need to take flight and do somethin’ flat out crazy to get out from under the garbage he left you. Last thing you had from Ronnie was all you ever got from him. Garbage.” She pulled in breath and wet glistened at the edge of her eyes. “That stings, precious,” she whispered.
“I know,” I whispered back. “But it isn’t true the only thing he gave me was garbage, he gave me more and there was a lot of it that was good. And in the end, the garbage he gave me also led me to Ty and as you can tell, I’m not complaining.”
“Yeah, that’s the reason I’m not blubberin’. ‘Cause you look like I’ve never seen you look, standin’ in your fancy-ass clothes that are fancy even bein’ shorts and a tee, in a kitchen nicer than many I’ve seen that’s in a house a whole lot better than many I’ve seen lookin’ like you belong here. And you always looked like you belonged to the likes of the man I saw outside. And last you look happy which is somethin’ I’ve never seen, not happy like you got right now, the quiet kind which is the best kind. So that’s why I’m still standin’. ‘Cause I know my son taught you bad but I know you’re my girl so I trust you to move onto good.”
She got fuzzy because my eyes filled with tears. Then I felt my way around the island. Then I was in her arms. Then Honey’s arms came around us. Then Bessie’s. We held on tight without laughter and swaying but with some hitches of breath and a couple of quiet sobs.
Then we got it under control and let each other go.
Then Ella strolled to a stool, hiked her ass up on one and announced, “Now, I’ll take a cocktail.”
All out offensive a success, I felt relief so I moved a grin through my girls then I moved my body to where we kept our booze. I took the bottles down and something caught my eye. My head turned left and I saw my heart of petals hanging in the kitchen window. I hadn’t etched “Ty and Lexie, Las Vegas” in it because I thought that was cheesy but I had etched some curlicues and I thought it looked good. Out of place but I knew what it was, Ty did too so it was in the exact right place for us and that was all that mattered.
Then I felt the still warm, early evening sun beating on my skin through the glass. It was bright. Colorado was bright. I’d never experienced so much sunshine in my life.
And that’s when I knew. It had happened. What just happened was only placing a stamp on it, making it official.
That warm sun shining on my skin, its brightness filling my days – the shadow of Ronnie was gone. Even with Ty’s business in the background, nothing encroached, not even to throw a little shade.
My life was filled with brightness.
And thinking that, I left the bottles where they were, muttered vaguely to my girls, “Just a sec,” then walked to the backdoor, put one foot out of it and yelled in no particular direction, “Honey! If you’re avoiding the house, drama over, it’s safe to come inside. It’s all about cocktails and camaraderie not tempers and tantrums!”
Then I stepped back in, shut the door and hit the liquor bottles, ignoring Honey’s audible snicker.
I got them their drinks. I got myself a beer and they were all lined up on the stools, me at the side of the island, my hip leaning against it when Ty came up the stairs from the garage. He jerked up his chin to my family, hit the fridge and got himself a beer.
Then he settled, hips against the counter at the side wall, reached out a long arm, tagged my hand, yanked and I scuttled toward him, falling into his body where his arm wrapped around my waist and my head tipped back.
“Wood, Tate, Jonas and Deke are on their way. You’re gonna have to direct traffic and provide payback in the form of pizza and beer,” he told me.
I smiled up at him. “I can do that. Pizza place in town deliver?”
“Yep,” he answered. “Head’s up. Reconcile of Maggie and Wood means they’re attached at the hip unless he’s under a car. Tate says that you told Laurie we got good patio furniture so he warned me she’s itchin’ for a look and will probably find her way in his truck. So you order, order big ‘cause Tate says Jonas alone can eat a large all to himself.”
“He’s a growing boy,” I explained.
“He’s a growing Jackson,” Ty returned. “Tate ain’t exactly small and Jonas is the spittin’ image of his Dad.”
I looked to my girls who were all observing us. Honey with a happy smile. Bessie with an assessing stare. Ella with her head tipped to the side but her expression shuttered.
I ignored all this and told them, “Wait until you meet Ty’s friends. They’re all white but they’re all seriously hot.”
“Heard word of women, they hot and taken?” Bessie asked.
“Except Deke,” I answered.
“Then what do I care they’re hot?” she shot back.
“They’re taken but they’re still fun to look at.”
“Girl, I got an eyeful right in front of me. More might make my head explode,” she returned.
She wasn’t wrong about that so I had no reply. Luckily, Honey giggling covered it.
Ty’s reaction to this compliment was to take a tug on his beer then set it on the counter beside him. I watched his hand do that then I watched it come toward me then I watched it until I couldn’t anymore because it cupped my jaw and tipped my face up to his while he curled his body slightly enough to give us a hint of privacy, not enough to be rude.
When my eyes caught his, he whispered, “You good?”
There it was. That was why he didn’t react to Bessie’s compliment. His mind was on me.
I grinned. Then I nodded.
His gaze roamed my face.
Then he nodded back, his hand dropped, he curled away and grabbed his beer.
I looked to my girls. Honey was smiling her happy smile. Bessie was looking away, blinking and I knew this was to hide it while she fought tears and Ella’s expression wasn’t shuttered anymore. Her face was soft, her eyes were lit with her sweet momma light and they were on me.
“I love you guys,” I blurted.
This caused Bessie to hop off her stool and mutter, “Bathroom.”
“Your right, door by the livin’ room,” Ty said quietly and Bessie hustled away.
Honey smiled happily.
Ella took a sip of her cocktail.
* * * * *
Ty
Laurie and Jonas were loading into Tate’s SUV, Tate was moving across the asphalt with Walker.
The truck unload descended into a party. Not surprising. The women cackled on the deck furniture while the men lugged boxes up two flights of steps, Ty and Wood putting together Lexie’s bed in one of the middle floor bedrooms so one of the sisters c
ould have a bed tonight. Their surprise arrival meant Walker and Lexie had company. They were Lexie’s family so this wasn’t surprising either. It was good his couch was big and had two sides. After the men did the work, Lexie expended the energy of dialing the phone to order pizzas. Fortunately, but surprisingly, she didn’t have much stuff to haul up the steps. Also fortunately, since they both drank beer, she had an ample supply.
Now Wood, Maggie, their kids and Deke were gone and Tate and his family were preparing to leave. But he’d said he wanted a word. So Walker was giving him a word.
“What’s up?” he asked when Tate led him to a position not in hearing distance of his truck or Walker’s house, something Walker noted, also something Walker didn’t like.
“You got a night this week you can come by my house for a talk?”
Fuck.
“About what?” Walker asked.
“You got a night, Ty,” Jackson said quietly.
“This about Peña?” Walker asked.
“Ty, you got a night?”
Walker remained silent for a moment.
Then he replied, “Might have several, I know why.”
“You trust me?”
Fuck.
“Yeah.”
“You got a night?”
Fuck!
“Let me talk to Lex. Her family’s here for two weeks and knowin’ Lex, she’ll wanna pack everything in so it’ll be busy. I’ll let you know,” Walker told him.
“Right,” Tate murmured.
Walker changed the subject. “Thanks for droppin’ everything and comin’ over to help out.”
“Payback, you did the same for me this week and I didn’t give you pizza and beer or feed your family.”
This was true.
“Speakin’ about family –” Jackson started.
“Yeah,” Walker interrupted, mistaking Tate’s comment. “They adopted her. They’re Rodriguez’s family.”
Tate shook his head. “No, I meant when are you and Lexie gonna start yours?”
He’d breathed easy for awhile. A week and a half to be exact. But at Tate’s question, that piercing feeling again went through the left side of his chest.
Through the pain, he forced out, “Come again?”
“Know you’re new. Know you’re both gettin’ on your feet after a lotta rough years. Know you probably got a lotta shit in your head, reckon she does too. But ‘spect, what I can tell of Lexie, she’s helpin’ you work through that. What I know of you, you’re doin’ the same for her. What you probably don’t know is, got somethin’ good, makin’ it better’ll give your mind good things to think of rather than shit things to chew on. And I promise you, brother, a kid is a good thing. Your kid with Lexie, even better.” He paused while Walker stared at him through the gathering dusk then continued, “Though, not if you get yourself a daughter who looks like her. Then you’re fucked.”
A daughter who looks like her.
Christ.
Christ.
He’d never thought of it. Not in his entire life. Never thought of making babies. Never met a woman in whom he wanted his seed to take root.
Now it was in his head and he knew it was in there in a way where it’d be near impossible to shake it out.
Christ.
“Ty?” Tate called.
“We need time to settle,” Walker told him.
“Sure, I can see that. Though, you settling only to shake things up with a kid, might as well settle knowin’ you got one on the way.”
“Man, we’ve been married less than a month,” Walker reminded him.
“So?”
Walker stared at him.
Then he muttered, “Fuck me, Tatum Jackson, family man and advocate for domestic bliss.”
“You been busy with your woman, not around, you been around me, Laurie and Jonas, you’d see I got it goin’ on,” Tate told him through a grin.
“Fuck me,” Walker muttered again.
Jackson kept grinning at him.
Then the grin faded and he whispered, “Think about it. And call me with a night you can come over.”
“Right,” Walker murmured.
Tate gave him a chin lift and moved to his SUV. Walker moved toward his condo and looked to Jackson’s truck. Laurie gave him a wave through the windshield. He jerked his chin up and stopped close to the condo to watch Tate swing in, switch on the ignition and then he shifted his body to watch them drive away until they were out of sight.
Then he turned around and was moving to the stairs but stopped at the foot of them when he saw the shadowed body of Ella Rodriguez sitting on a step in the middle.
He tipped his head back the inch he needed to catch her eyes.
She started.
“Got good friends.”
“Yep,” he agreed because she was right.
Ella fell silent. Walker didn’t break it but he waited because he knew she had something to say.
Then she spoke again.
“Later, when you got quiet time with her tonight, my girl’s honest, she’ll tell you straight she laid it out for us.”
This was also not surprising.
“Got nothin’ to hide,” he replied but this was only mostly true.
She said nothing just held his eyes.
Finally, she murmured, “’Spect that’s true.”
Then she said no more and didn’t move.
Walker waited.
Then she spoke again and she did it gently and with feeling.
“I’m sorry that was done to you, boy.”
Fuck him, why did that coming from a woman he barely knew feel as good as it felt?
He didn’t ask this.
He lifted his chin and said, “I am too.”
“Got no doubts you’ve felt it. But I’m older than you, as bad as you’ve felt it before this happened to you, I’ve felt it worse. And as bad as I felt it, what I know my parents felt was worse. So I know, the like that’s done to you, it leaves demons.”
She was not wrong about that.
Walker didn’t respond.
“What you don’t know is that you got yourself a girl who’s not afraid of demons, she’ll take them on. You don’t shut her out, lock her down when that time comes when they threaten to overwhelm you, she’ll help you beat them back.”
He responded to that. “I know what I got in Lexie.”
“No,” she said instantly and shook her head, “you might think you know but you have no idea.”
“Ella –”
“My boy had demons,” she whispered and Walker’s body got tight. “He shut her out, locked her down. He told himself he didn’t but he did. Started before he left for Indiana, strugglin’ to keep his nose clean, stay outta trouble, not get sucked into that life. But all he saw was struggle, all he felt was responsibility, all he thought of was makin’ that right, his entire focus was bein’ certain he was in the position to change that, not for him, for us, for Lexie. He had no Daddy. He had no man in his life to teach him how to be strong and he ignored my lessons to do right, so determined to take care of us, no matter how he had to do that and, when he was growin’ up, they were like a swarm of bees buzzin’ around, constant, showin’ him a different path, teachin’ him bad lessons. They went at him hard and they went at him dirty and one night they got to him and Duane stepped in and saw him through. The only thing that boy ever did that was good in his life, I figure. I don’t know all that happened, just know it happened. He saw my Ronnie through and Ronnie never forgot it. But that left him with demons and messed with his head and caught him a debt he repaid by takin’ seven bullets. Instead, he shoulda taken Lexie’s hand and let her lead him to the good life. And I’m tellin’ you this now so you don’t make that same mistake.”
She stopped talking and Walker didn’t reply.
So she kept talking. “What was done to you was no good, the worst, see you with her, see you reachin’ for happy. But no matter how strong a man is, you take a hit like that, it’s hard to bounce back. Yo
u’ll hit a wall and struggle to get through. You’re a strong man and your first thought won’t be to take a woman’s hand. But I’m older than you. I watched a lot of boys fail ‘cause they made that same decision, thinkin’ wrongly that that decision is weak. Be stronger than that and know when to take your woman’s hand so she can help you break through.”
Again she stopped speaking and again Walker didn’t reply.
She didn’t start again.
So Walker drew a line under it. “’Preciate the wisdom, Ella.”
She looked at him through the growing darkness. “Hope you take it to heart, Ty.”
He again lifted his chin.
She stood, turned and slowly walked up the steps, timing it perfectly, she was close to the top before she stopped, looked down at him and dealt the killer blow.
“You don’t take it to heart, love she feels for you, the kind of love she was smart enough not to give my boy, you’ll break her. That’s my girl and I know. I see it the way she looks at you, talks about you, you don’t grasp hold and let her give as good as she gets, you’ll destroy her. So when I say I hope you take it to heart, Ty, I really do.”
Then Ella Rodriguez walked up the last two steps, turned and disappeared.
And for a long time Ty Walker couldn’t move because that thing piercing his chest twisted viciously.
When he got it under control he walked up his steps toward a houseful of women.
Chapter Twelve
Where She Parks Her Charger
Ty
“I’m tellin’ you, brother, it’s hot.”
Walker was standing in the locker room of his gym, side to the door so he could see if someone came in. Dewey was hidden by the lockers. At the best of times, he wouldn’t be seen with Dewey, they were tight, or as tight as anyone could be with Dewey, but the kind of stink Dewey produced had a tendency to make anyone reek. But considering they were both ex-cons, he definitely shouldn’t be seen with Dewey.
But he had to meet Dewey and Dewey had just two minutes ago shoved himself through the window so he was with Dewey even though, at this moment, he did not want to be because two seconds after he shoved himself through the window, he’d launched into his bullshit excuses.