So did I.
I could hear Waldo cursing over the radio, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore.
The only thing I cared about left me.
Again.
“You just cost yourself the race, Emmit,” Waldo said with anger in his voice.
I knew my head wasn’t in this race. If I didn’t snap out of it soon, things would turn dangerous.
MY MOUTH DROPPED OPEN WHEN I saw Emmit didn’t pit. I had the team communications pulled up on my phone as my eyes stayed glued to the TV. Glancing down at my phone, I saw my voicemail with one unread message.
It was Stephanie. Why she was calling, I had no idea. Emmit called at least ten times a day, each time leaving a message I had yet to listen to. I needed to clear my head and the more time I had to think about what I saw, the more I questioned what I saw.
The one thing I knew for sure was, Emmit hadn’t been driving well since I left and that filled me with guilt. I’d missed two races since I abruptly left.
“What in the fuck are you doing, Emmit!” my father screamed. “I told you to bring your ass in!”
Things were getting personal between my father and Emmit, and it was my fault.
Emmit laughed. “Yeah well, I decided to do things my way for once.”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. I could picture my father now with steam coming from his ears.
The next thing he said broke my heart. “You just cost yourself the race, Emmit.”
“Nothing matters anymore, Waldo. The only thing that mattered to me left me over a week ago.”
My breath caught in my chest as I let Emmit’s words sink in. He hadn’t mentioned me once in the last race. Not that I thought he would.
“Jesus Christ, son. Get your damn heart out of the fucking racecar. You need to be focused, Emmit. You’re going to be the cause of a wreck if you don’t get your head out of your ass!”
I stood quickly and looked around. I had no idea what I was looking for. As I spun around, I looked back at the TV and then down to my phone. Picking up my phone, I opened my voicemail and hit Stephanie’s message.
“Yes, hello. My name is Todd Frank. I’m Emmit’s new assistant. Please kindly remove Stephanie Murphy’s name from this number and replace it with my name. If you need anything or have been waiting on something from Ms. Murphy, please forward that on to me at this number or through email.
[email protected] Have a wonderful evening.”
My hand dropped to the side of my body as I let my phone drop from my hand. Where was Stephanie? Did Emmit fire her? Did she step down now that their affair had been found out?
My hands covered my face as I sat down on the sofa. “Just tell me where in the hell, Malcolm is,” Emmit called out as I looked back down at my phone and picked it up.
I searched through my messages. My fingered hovered over Emmit’s last message to me.
Hitting play, I held my breath and waited to hear his voice play over the speaker.
“Hey. I really wish you’d call me back. I’ve been leaving the same message over and over, hoping like hell you’ll listen to one of them. Can’t do it today, I’m tired and I have to go race. Adaline, I love you. It’s always been only you.”
The message stopped playing as I finally remembered to breathe. “Emmit.” I looked back up at the TV. In that moment, I realized the terrible mistake I had made. I let my fear see things that were never there.
My heart felt as if I had betrayed it this last week. Anger and regret consumed me as I thought how I had let Stephanie push me away. I knew Emmit was faithful. Deep in my heart, I had always known it.
Jumping up, I grabbed my purse and rushed out of the hotel room I’d checked into last night. There was somewhere I needed to be, and this hotel was not it.
As I navigated through traffic, I drove as fast as I could. I needed to get to the track. I drove to Chicago with every intention of going to the race and talking face to face with Emmit and asking for the truth. Why it took me over a week to pull my head out of my ass to do it, I’ll never know.
I had the race playing on my car radio and Emmit’s communication still pulled up on my phone.
“And as we approach the checkered flag, it will be number twenty-four, Malcolm Wallace crossing the finish line with the number thirty-seven of Emmit Lewis coming in second. Lewis has not been very quiet over the radio about the fact that he is upset about Wallace’s pass earlier.”
“Shit! Shit! Shit!” I said as I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. Damn it, what is wrong with me?
“I need to talk to, Wallace,” Emmit said over the radio.
Quickly picking up my phone, I hit the home button and said, “Call, Daddy.”
When it rang, I prayed like hell for my father to answer it.
“Adaline!”
“Daddy!” I yelled out.
“Where in the hell have you been? I’m so mad at you right now I could . . . I don’t know what I could do, Adaline Morgan. I have too much shit going on.”
“I know! I know, Daddy. I’ve been stupid. I need to talk to Emmit right away.”
“Yeah well, I’m trying to stop him from doing something stupid.”
Tears began to build in my eyes. This was my fault. If only I hadn’t run. If I had just stopped for two seconds and thought really long and hard about what I thought I had seen.
“I’m in Chicago, Dad. I’m on my way.”
I could hear my father telling people to get out of his way. “Well, you better hurry. He is flying out tonight.”
Damn it. “I’m going as fast as I can. I’m not that far away.”
“How are you getting in?”
“I still have my badge, Mr. Elliot told me he was giving me one month to make my final decision.”
I heard some more talking and then I heard my father say, “Oh shit. Stop him, Robby!”
Fear raced through my body as my heart sped up. Emmit. Oh God, Emmit, don’t do something stupid.
“Dad? Dad!”
The line went dead the moment I pulled up to the gate. I flashed my badge at one of the two security guards standing there and was waved through. I had no idea where in the hell I was going. Rolling the window down, I yelled out, “I need to get to Emmit Lewis right away. It’s an emergency.”
The second guard quickly waved me over to park. Jumping out of my car, I ran over to his truck and jumped in. “I’m not sure where he is.”
The guard chuckled. “He’s about to start a fight on victory lane.”
My heart dropped and I closed my eyes, “Oh no. Please hurry!” I said a quick prayer I’d make it in time.
It was a short drive to victory lane as the security guard pulled up. I jumped out of the truck before it even came to a stop. “Excuse me, let me through!” I yelled as the security guard led me through the crowd. I could see everyone from both Malcolm and Emmit’s pit crew there.
Emmit and Malcolm were both going after each other as members of their pit crews tried to pull them apart.
“Emmit!” I screamed as I looked for something to get me up higher.
I ran over to a table and climbed up on it. Robert Elliot was attempting to pull Emmit off of Malcolm. One punch landed and Malcolm stumbled back. Screaming to the top of my lungs, I called out, “Emmit!”
Emmit stopped trying to get to Malcolm and turned to look in my direction. Our eyes met and I could see the rage as a shiver ran up my spine. My body came to life as his eyes pierced me. Then he was gone. My mouth dropped open as I saw someone holding something in their hands, security tackled the person and the object he had been holding hit the ground. With all the noise and people yelling, the only thing I heard was my breathing. Then I looked at Emmit who was lying on the pavement, blood pooling at his head.
“No!” I screamed as I jumped down and rushed to Emmit.
As I dropped to the ground I was overcome by the smell of blood. Covering my mouth, I forced myself not to throw up. I was a nurse. The smell of blood sh
ouldn’t bother me at all.
But this was different. This was Emmit’s blood.
And there was a lot of it.
Emmit had been unconscious for the last twenty-two hours. They had taken him down for another cat scan when Malcolm insisted I leave to go eat something. The fact that Malcolm was still here at the hospital spoke volumes to me.
My mind flashed back to when Emmit was in surgery getting the gash in his head stitched up. Malcolm, Richard, and I had talked to a police officer investigating the incident.
“It was one of Malcolm Wallace’s fans. He made his way through the crowd. I guess he was upset about Emmit starting the fight.”
The officer nodded his head and continued to write. “And he picked up the unopened beer can and hit Mr. Lewis over the head with it?”
“Yes,” Robert, one of the pit crew members said.
My stomach turned every time I thought about it. When Emmit hit the ground, his head hit hard, causing another gash.
I dragged in a deep breath before I pushed the door open to Emmit’s hospital room. Malcolm glanced up from the chair he had been sitting in as I attempted to give him a smile. “That was not fast enough to eat, Adaline.”
I shrugged my shoulders and sat down in the chair on the other side of Emmit. Both of us had either been in Emmit’s room or somewhere in the hospital since Emmit was admitted. “I can’t eat, Malcolm. My stomach is too sick.”
Malcolm nodded; I knew he felt the same. Malcolm and Emmit may be rivals, but I knew this was tearing Malcolm apart like it was me. If I hadn’t called out Emmit’s name, he wouldn’t have looked over at me, causing everyone else to see where he was looking. No one saw the fan lifting the beer to hit Emmit until it was too late.
Closing my eyes, I fought to hold back my tears. If I hadn’t left at all, none of this would have happened. Emmit wouldn’t be sitting here in the hospital bed.
“The doctor came in while you were gone.”
My eyes snapped open as I felt my heart slam against my chest. “What did he say?”
“Said the swelling is down and his brain function all looks normal.”
I swallowed hard as I looked over at Emmit. “He’s not waking up though.” I barely said. I knew Emmit’s body was doing what it needed to do to allow him to heal. Just because I knew the medical reasons why he hadn’t woken up yet, didn’t mean I had to like it.
Malcolm stood up and stretched. “I’ve got an interview tomorrow. I’m going to head back to the hotel and get some sleep.”
Not even bothering to look at him, my eyes stayed focused on Emmit. “Okay,” I softly spoke as I felt Malcolm’s hand on my shoulder. One gently squeeze let me know Malcolm wouldn’t be far. “I’ll text you if he wakes up. Go get some sleep.”
“Do me a favor, Adaline.”
My head slowly lifted as I looked up at Malcolm, “Please get some sleep and try to eat.”
A weak smile played across my face as I gave him a slight nod. “I’ll try.”
Malcolm quietly left the room.
I picked up Emmit’s hand as I kissed the back of it. “Emmit, baby, please wake up. Please, please wake up for me.”
My head dropped as I began crying. This was my fault. I’d give anything to take the last three weeks back.
Lifting my head, I wiped my tears away. My eyes traveled over Emmit’s perfect face. His features were breathtaking.
I let out a laugh as a memory popped into my head. “Do you remember what we used to do for fun in high school?”
I smiled bigger as I thought about the trouble we used to get into. “That plow race you had with Mitchell Worington. You were bound and determined to win. I begged you not to do it. The idea of you getting caught and having the wrath of your granddaddy come down on you was a scary thought. You assured me you would be okay, the plow would be okay and that you would win.”
My stomach sunk at the memory. “You were right. You won and your granddaddy never found out.”
My eyes closed as I let all the memories of Emmit and I growing up together sweep through my mind.
“The time we got stuck in the mud and you insisted if we waited long enough the mud would harden.” Opening my eyes, I looked out the window and let the moment surround me. “We crawled through the back window of your truck and laid in the bed and watched the stars.”
Shaking my head, I glanced at Emmit. He looked so peaceful. “You know I knew you had that planned. No one carries that many quilts in their truck.”
A tear slowly made its way down my cheek as I lifted Emmit’s hand to my lips and spoke against softly. “It was the most magical night of my life, Emmit. It was the first time you and I became one.” Sobs over took my body as I pressed my lips to the back of his hand.
“I’m so sorry I left you again. I was so confused, Emmit. I knew in my heart though it wasn’t true. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to it. Please forgive me, Emmit. Please.”
My tears were soaking the sheet on the bed as I cried. No amount of tears or pleas would ever make up for the hurt I’ve caused this man. I didn’t deserve him.
“I want a do-over.”
My head jerked up as I tried to see through the blurriness of my tears.
My stomach clenched at the sound of his voice. I was sure I had imagined him talking. Emmit’s eyes were closed and he wasn’t moving.
“W-what did you say, Emmit?”
Without opening his eyes, he squeezed my hand and spoke softly. “I want a do-over.”
The chair pushed across the floor as I stood up and leaned over. “Baby, what are you talking about? Emmit, can you open your eyes?”
Emmit’s gray eyes caught my blue as he stared at me with such intensity.
I dropped his hand and quickly reached for the nurses’ button.
“Wait. Before you bring in the whole team to tell me why my head hurts like a motherfucker, I want to say something to you.”
My lips trembled as my entire body tightened in fear. He was going to tell me to leave. That what I did to him was unforgiveable.
Tears flowed from my eyes again. I was prepared to fight for our love. I’d made a mistake again and I would own up to it, but I wouldn’t let him throw it away like I almost had.
I slowly sat back down in the chair and tried to wipe the endless tears away. “O-okay,” I whispered as chewed on my lower lip.
“My head hurts so damn much,” Emmit said as he lifted his hand and felt the bandage.
Trying to find my voice, I finally managed to say, “You were hit over the head with an unopened beer can by one of Malcolm’s fans.”
Emmit let out a sigh. “Fucking, Malcolm.”
My lower lip was going to be bruised with how I was tearing it apart.
Emmit turned and looked at me. I wasn’t sure how to read his eyes. They were . . . empty. Looking down at my hands in my lap, I began talking. “I’ll understand if you’d like for me to leave, Emmit. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for running away again. It’s just, I overheard the conversation between you and Stephanie and from my perspective, it sounded as if—”
My hand came up as I wiped my tears away again. “I knew in my heart you hadn’t cheated on me.”
“Why did you leave then?” Emmit asked.
Before I was able to answer, he looked away from me. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore.”
My heart dropped, and I knew in that moment I had lost the only man I’d ever loved.
THE SOUND OF ADALINE’S VOICE caused my heart to feel light again. A warm sensation spread through my body as she talked about us growing up. When she brought up the night we had first made love, my eyes automatically opened. The light in the room hitting my eyes felt like a million knives stabbing me in the back of my head.
My heart ached as I listened to her talk. Hearing her say she knew I didn’t cheat on her was sweet music to my ears. She must have finally listened to the damn messages I left.
“Why did you leave?” I asked before
looking away. What was I doing? It didn’t matter why she left. What mattered was she came back. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore.”
The sharp intake of air from Adaline caused me to look back at her. Her face was white as a ghost as she stared at me in disbelief while I asked, “Did you listen to my messages finally?”
My body went rigid when she shook her head. “I didn’t listen to them.”
“How did you know I didn’t cheat on you then? Did you talk to your dad? My mom?”
Adaline was chewing on her lower lip, causing it to instantly swell. “No,” she said. “I just finally decided to stop listening to my head, and I listened to my heart. I’m so sorry I hurt you again, Emmit. I’d give anything to take it all back.”
The warmth spread through my body again as I looked into her eyes. “You can’t run away every time you think there’s a problem, Addie.”
Nodding her head frantically, she barely spoke. “I . . . I know. I’m an idiot.”
I would have nodded in agreement, but my head hurt too damn much. “We need to work things out together if there is a problem.”
Adaline began crying hard again. “I. Know. I. Hate. Myself. For. Hurting. You.”
“I want a do-over, Addie.”
With a snap of her head, she wiped her eyes and then her snotty nose. “A do-over of what?”
“That night.”
Adaline slowly shook her head as she pinched her eyebrows together. “What night?”
“The first night we made love.”
Adaline’s mouth dropped open as she pulled her head back in shock. “Never. That night was the best night of my life. It was magical and romantic.”
Looking away, I closed my eyes. “Nah, it was hot as hell. The bugs were eating us alive; it bruised the hell out of my knees and your back. You bled on my mother’s favorite quilt and you wore a look of pain the entire time.” I opened my eyes and caught Adaline’s stare. “I was so scared I was hurting you.”
Adaline’s blue eyes softened as flashed me a smile. God how I loved that smile. I’d never in my life get tired of seeing it. “Like I said, it was the best night of my life. I wouldn’t change it for the world. Except the part of your mother’s quilt.” Standing up, Adaline leaned over me. Her lips stopped right before they came in contact with mine. “You weren’t hurting me, Emmit. You were making me yours. I’ll forever be yours. A moment like that doesn’t happen twice.”