She nodded. "That's what it looks like."
"What about Desideria's mother?"
Syn passed a sympathetic glance to Shahara. "He claims he knows nothing about that at all. He was only after you and your father."
But that didn't go with what Caillen had heard... "The two are tied together. I know they are."
Syn continued to contradict him. "I've searched through every League database and every contract server I could find." Which was impressive since information was what Syn excelled at. "Nothing has the two related. I think it's just damn bad luck that the two of them were together at the time they died."
Maybe Syn was right. Coincidences happened, but...
Something just didn't seem right. It was too pat and too ironic. Caillen refused to believe that it was all happenstance.
He glanced to Shahara. "Can I get up now?"
"You're not supposed to, but there's really no way to stop you, is there?"
"Depends on how much fire power you're carrying."
She rolled her eyes. "I worry about you, Cai. All the time. But you know, I saw the look in your eyes just now when you thought Desideria was dead and I saw how insane she went when you were hurt and the anger she broke on the one who'd harmed you. I don't know what's between the two of you, but from the outside it looks pretty real and pretty fierce. I just want you to always remember that feeling you had a minute ago whenever you think of her. That desperate choking sensation you had when you thought you'd never see her again and that she was gone forever."
She cut Syn a gimlet stare. "Relationships aren't easy. Some days they don't even seem tolerable. Especially when a Dagan's involved. There will be times when she'll make you mad enough to murder her and it's usually over something truly stupid."
"Like leaving the seat up at night or forgetting to tighten the cap on bottled water," Syn muttered.
Shahara ignored him. "But don't ever let yourself forget that the person you care about fills an emptiness no one else ever has and that while life with them can seriously suck at times, those moments when it doesn't are worth all the aggravation of falling into the toilet and getting soaked when you're half asleep."
"What about the water?" Syn asked hopefully.
Shahara glared at him. "You ruined my computer and lost my data. Don't even go there, Syn. I'm still mad enough to choke you for that one."
"I bought you a new one and I got most of the data restored... just a few things I couldn't salvage." Now that was a new tone from Syn that Caillen had never heard before. Petulant like a kid, it would have amused Caillen except he'd lived with his sister enough to feel pity for Syn for having incurred her wrath.
She flung her hand up to silence him.
Caillen laughed. "You two have a twisted marriage."
"And I'm grateful every minute of my life for it and for Syn." There was no mistaking the conviction in her golden eyes. "I couldn't live without him."
And he knew she was right, especially given their pasts. The ghosts that lived inside the best of childhoods could be fierce to fight. The demons that stalked them from theirs...
Those were debilitating.
To have someone who would brave those demons and stand beside him was a miracle he wouldn't forget.
Shahara stood back so that he could leave the bed.
As he reached the door, Syn's voice gave him pause. "Just FYI, bud, you might want to put on some pants before you go see her. Hard to sweep a woman off her feet and look badass in a hospital gown when your bare ass is hanging out."
Caillen slowed his steps as he neared the holding cell where they'd locked up Desideria. Hauk, Fain and Chayden sat in front of the monitors, watching as she paced back and forth in her room like a caged predator.
Chayden laughed nervously. "You know, one of you is going to have to let her out of there eventually."
Fain scoffed. "For the record, it ain't going to be me. My parents killed the dumb ones."
"Yeah, well, you don't see stupid stapled on my forehead either. I think you should do it." Hauk gave his brother a pointed stare.
Fain's expression was one of abject horror. "Why?"
"You didn't put her in there. She might still like you." He gestured to himself and Chayden. "Dumbass there is the one who threw her in head first and I'm the idiot who locked the door."
Caillen's eyes widened as a wave of anger went through him. "What did you do?" If they'd manhandled her, he was going to make them limp their way to old age.
Chayden stood up and braced himself as if expecting a fight. "I didn't do nothing. I just picked her up and carried her inside over my shoulder before the Sentella sentries tackled and cuffed her. Believe me, I saved her that horror. And by the way, I do not envy you that relationship. She is hell in high heels and she fights like an eight-armed Prostig."
That wasn't good enough for him. "You better not have hurt her."
"Relax." Chayden gestured toward the cell. "Go see for yourself. She's pissed, but fine and unbruised."
"Yeah," Hauk added. "And let her out of there while you're at it. I like having my balls attached to my body so I don't intend to go near her for a while. At least a century or two. Maybe five... dozen."
Caillen disregarded Hauk as he headed for the door. Maybe he should guard his boys too...
With his little Qill, one could never be too careful.
As soon as he entered the tiny bare, steel-walled room, Desideria spun around and by the look on her face he fully expectea kick to the groin like Hauk had feared. But the moment her gaze focused on his face and she realized it was him, a beautiful smile curved her lips and added fire to her eyes.
Two heartbeats later, she ran to him so fast that he staggered back from her assault. She kissed him desperately.
The taste of her combined with the sweet scent of her hair and breath drove all thoughts out of his mind for several seconds as his body roared to life and craved her so badly that it was all he could do to remember they were being watched. Even so, he couldn't focus on anything other than how good she felt in his arms.
She pulled back to stare up at him with a look of such concern that it made his stomach clench. Now this was something he could definitely get used to. "Are you all right?" There was a note of desperation in her voice.
"Am I not supposed to be?" he teased her.
She cupped his face in her hands. "Not the way you hit that wall. I've never seen anything more terrifying. I thought I'd lost you."
"Just damaged my leg. Probably rattled my brains. It hurts, but I'll limp. As for the brains... never used them enough to miss them anyway."
Letting out a frustrated breath, she shook her head at him. "I swear I'm wrapping you in a padded, blaster-proof suit and locking you inside a shielded bomb shelter."
He didn't know why, but that threat made him smile. Gods, how glad he was to see her alive and well. He kissed the tip of her nose. "Am I forgiven then?"
"For what?"
He started to remind her of the "um" mistake, but luckily his errant common sense finally tackled him to the ground and told him to shut his mouth before he ruined this moment. He quickly searched for something a little more intelligent to say.
"For scaring you."
She fisted her hands in his shirt and pulled his head down to hers. "No. Don't ever do that to me again."
He smiled at her angry tone. "I heard you put a major ass whipping on our assassin friend."
"He'll be feeling it for a while. I would have ripped his heart out had Fain not stopped me."
"Why?"
Desideria barely caught the answer before it rushed past her lips. Maybe she should tell him she loved him. But fear of his reaction kept those words locked tight. He might be happy about it or it could make him run for the door. Caillen was a complicated man and this was definitely not the time or place.
Especially after his "um" comment earlier. He might think she'd forgotten about it, but she hadn't. At the end of the day, he was a player and
what little she knew about such people was that they were phobic when it came to any kind of commitment or emotions.
Never be the first to lay your heart on the table...
First man in was always slaughtered at the door and she didn't want to be hurt or rejected.
She cleared her throat before she answered. "He had information and I needed it."
There was a light in those beautiful dark eyes that said Caillen didn't believe her. But at least he didn't call her on the lie.
This time.
Instead, he gave her that cocky grin. "Shall we go see an advisor then and give him a concussion or two?"
She laughed at his overexuberant tone. "Absolutely." She gestured with her thumb toward the surveillance camera that was mounted high on the wall over her head. "Provided the crew of lackwits allow us to leave that is."
"I heard that," Hauk said over the intercom. "Didn't anyone ever tell you to be respectful of the man who holds the key to the lock on your cage?"
She scoffed. "Qillaq, Hauk. I was taught to kick him in the groin or the teeth until he handed it over."
Caillen laughed as the door lock buzzed open.
Fain and Chayden were waiting for them just outside the door. "By the way, we're going with you."
What the...?
Those words seriously offended his ego. Mostly because it was something his sisters would say and he was not helpless by any means. "I don't need help."
Hauk scoffed as he joined them. "Yeah right. Every time we leave the two of you alone something bad happens. You get lost or blown up or some other shit. I'm tired of cleaning up the bloodstains. So we're taking up a post at your back."
"Great," Fain muttered. "Now the blood will splatter us."
Caillen would argue with Hauk, but he knew better. Hauk was as stubborn and crazy as they came. Any attempt to discuss this would only delay them.
Not to mention the small fact that Hauk happened to be right. Things hadn't exactly gone right since he'd met Desideria. Another pair of blasters, or in this case, three, might come in handy.
"Fine. Your funerals."
Chayden snorted. "Not so loud. The gods might oblige." He led the way down the hallway.
In no time, they were rounded up in Chayden's ship and headed for Exeter to make an unannounced meeting with Talian's head advisor. If ever there was hope of getting to the bottom of this, the advisor should be able to give testimony about who'd ordered him to hire the assassin and why Caillen and his father had been targeted. That would be enough to get the League involved and allow Caillen to clear his name.
Yeah, payback was coming and itwas going to be bloody.
Caillen left everyone on the bridge and went to the head so that he could check the wound on his leg. He could feel it bleeding again, but he didn't want the others to know. Better to camouflage it now before it became obvious.
As soon as he was finished and had left the room, he met Desideria in the hallway. Concern lined her brow as she scanned his body with an interest that made him go instantly hard. An image of her naked flashed through his mind and did nothing to help his sanity.
Yeah, that sucked the pain right out of him.
She paused her gaze on his thigh as if she somehow knew what he'd been about. "How's your leg holding up?"
Currently better than his groin...
But he didn't want her to worry about him. "It's throbbing, but I'll live."
She appeared less than convinced. "How do you manage your pain so well?"
"I focus on other things."
"Such as?"
He dipped his gaze to her breasts that he was dying to sample again.
Heat stung her cheeks. "You're awful."
Like he regretted telling her the truth. "You're the one who asked."
She growled at him in the back of her throat. "Why is it I don't think it's quite so simple?
Shrugging, he decided to give her a reprieve from his lecherous tendencies. "Because it's not. You want the truth?"
"Always."
Caillen swallowed as old memories haunted him. He wasn't much into sharing with anyone, but for some reason he never minded allowing Desideria inside him. Not even something as personal as the unspoken past that always hovered right on the edges of his conscious thought. "What keeps me going is this image I have in my head of my adoptive father dying alone in the gutter. I was there that day, hiding and watching him through a small crack as his enemy rolled him over and ended his life with one cold, brutal shot. It was the second worst day of my life." Shahara's rape had the designation of being in first place.
Desideria choked on the sympathetic grief that swelled up inside her. She heard the pain in his voice as he spoke of something she knew had to give him nightmares to this day. "Caillen, I'm so sorry. Why were you there?"
There was no missing the agony and torment in his eyes as he looked down at the ground. "It was Kasen's birthday and my father had sold his wedding ring so that we could buy her something special since she'd been really sick that year. We'd just picked up her present when my father noticed we were being followed. I'd never in my life seen him afraid until then. He forced me to rush ahead and then he ordered me to run home. I hid instead, thinking... I don't even remembshe kne was too terrified to think straight. But what haunts me every night when I close my eyes is the image of my father on the street, bleeding and hurt. The sound of the final blast that killed him and the faces of the people who did that to him. I wish to the gods, just once, to be able to give to them what they gave to him."
She wished he could too. It was what they deserved. "Maybe you will one day."
He shook his head. "No. Even if I kill them, nothing will ever make amends for me staying there in that hole, scared and traumatized, and then having to tell my sisters that we were orphans."
She covered his hand with hers. "I wish I could take that memory from you."
"Yeah... it blows, right? And now you know why I hate birthdays so much. Nothing good has ever happened on one. They always end up just a big kick in my teeth. And that's my secret. Whenever I feel physical pain, I remember the day the life drained out of my father and I hold on to that. So long as I feel pain, I know I'm alive and life, even when it sucks sideways, is so much better than death, that I embrace even the agony of it."
How different his view was from what she'd been taught. Her people embraced death. There was nothing more glorious than to die in battle. "Do you not believe in an afterlife?"
"I do. But I'm a pragmatist. This life I know is real. The other... I'm gambling on. So for the time being, I'll take what I know even when it hurts."
How was it that he always surprised and amazed her? Just when she thought she knew him, he exposed a depth and strength that she hadn't even guessed existed. At first glance, Caillen seemed like a simple hedonist. But there was nothing simple about him.
And while he was definitely hedonistic, he wasn't selfish or sociopathic.
She squeezed his hand. "I like your logic."
"Hey, Dagan," Chayden's voice came through the intercom, interrupting them. "We're approaching the Exeterian port in Mykonia. Stay low and we'll let you know when we're scanned and docked. So long as you stay put, they won't be able to pick up any residuals from you."
That was the beauty about pirates she was learning. Their ships had all manner of interesting jammers and devices that helped them to elude authorities and their equipment.
For once, they landed without incident.
Chayden and Fain came to collect them while Hauk stayed on board as a guard for their ship.
Both men had their Tavali pirate garb on, including the mask over their faces so that all anyone could see was their eyes. It gave them a feral, intimidating appearance, especially Chayden's mask which was made of a brushed silver-colored metal. No wonder they wore them. Well that and it kept people from seeing their faces and identifying them on wanted posters.
Chayden passed them both masks that included eye shields. "S
o long as we're together, they'll think wrushed sire here for a shipment and that you two are part of my crew."
"You're not wanted here, are you?" Caillen asked before he pulled the mask over his face.
Chayden snorted. "Like that would be a concern given the fact that the two of you are plastered all over the media right now? Please. Don't insult me." Then his eyes turned a bit sheepish. "But to answer your question, there is a reason I'm wearing the mask." And he quickly lifted his cowl to cover his head.
Caillen laughed. "Looking real brave there, pun'kin."
Chayden made an obscene gesture at him before he led the way off the ship. Desideria kept her head covered as she traveled behind Caillen and in front of Fain. The men walked with that predatorial grace that was unique to soldiers and assassins. The gait of someone who had no doubt they could win any battle or fight.
The collective power sent a shiver over her.
Since it was well after dark, the street traffic was relatively light. Still, every transport gave her pause as she waited for the authorities to be notified and for someone to try and arrest them.
Their luck held as they approached the royal palace. Caillen pulled them to a stop in an alley across the street. Keeping to the shadows, he made sure they were out of sight for the cameras and guards.
"There's a back way in through the servant entrance."
Fain arched a brow at Caillen's words. "You know this how?"
"I crawled through their security while I lived there. I had my father plug most of it, but his head asshole thought he knew better than me, so he left a few holes intact. That one happens to be large enough for me to sneak through."
Desideria shook her head. "Not without me."
Caillen paused at her determined tone. "It'll be faster if I go in alone."
"You're wounded and I've got as much at stake in this as you do. There's--"
"Children, rest it," Chayden snapped. "All of our necks are in the gallows on this one. Caillen, lead. We follow."
"Yeah, but don't get used to it," Fain muttered.
Caillen started to argue, but realized every delay was costing them. "Fine. But keep up and follow exactly in my steps. Otherwise we'll be seen and I really don't feel like running away right now."
He crept along the wall, into the back gardens. There were several dark zones in the surveillance. Part of him was disgusted that they were there after the attempt had been made in this very place on his father's life, but the other part was grateful since it allowed them to slip inside and make their way to his father's office.