"You run like a girl!" Levi shouted, he was laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face.
"Shut up!" Scarlett said, tripping over her feet again. She landed face first in the dirt and sneezed.
"She trips like one too!" Jared shouted to Levi. Jared grabbed her arm and hauled her up.
"Remind me again why we wanted to come and play with these-" A string of cuss words ensued from Annie.
Scarlett laughed and wiped the sweat and dirt from her face with the back of Levi's sleeve. "Actually it wasn't we... it was you!"
"What?! Why, didn't you wanna come and play baseball with your favorite boyfriend?" Levi asked.
"No, I think she wanted to come play with me." Jared said winking at Scarlett who promptly raised her middle finger.
Jared looked aghast and charged for her.
She squealed. "HELP!"
Levi picked her up, throwing her over his shoulder and ran the opposite direction of Jared, for him Scarlett was light., but she was a rather petite girl.
"I'd rather die at Jared's hands then be bounced around by you!" She said.
Levi looked over his shoulder at her and shrugged, gently dropping her down on her butt.
"I was kidding!!" She said closing her eyes as Jared jumped to land on her.
She heard Jared laugh and still waiting for impact opened an eye. He was straddled over her with a goofy grin on his face.
"You. suck." She said making a face.
"Can you stop doing my girlfriend now?" Levi asked.
Jared just laughed and pushed off of her looking over at Annie. "So what did you call me?"
Their voices drowned out as Levi put down a hand to pull her up. She was pulled into his arms as he bent down and kissed her softly.
"What was so special about Levi?" Renny asked. It was Tuesday, five days since the last session and a month and a half since Levi's murder.
Scarlett stared past Renny, reading all the titles of books on the shelf.
Renny studied Scarlett carefully, feeling sad for the girl.
"Let's start with a simple question; why are you here?"
Her attention snapped to the woman, "my parents made me."
"So they dragged you out of the house, into the car, out of the car and into my office?"
"Well... no." She admitted.
"Hm, so you must want to be here, no?"
"I don't wanna be here! Are you crazy? I wanna go back home, crawl under my blanket and die!"
"Die is a strong term." Renny observed aloud.
"I didn't jump out a window for nothing." Scarlett said and suddenly realized she was speaking more then she had in a while.
Renny nodded slowly, "makes sense... if you are really itching to kill yourself, be with Levi... I'll help you."
"Aren't you supposed to make me better?"
"You don't wanna get better, you wanna wallow in your misery and pain."
Scarlett looked Renny straight in the eye, she noted that the woman had light brown eyes that radiated somehow.
"I can't be happy, I would be betraying Levi."
"Would you? You can always love him, but you can move on too." Renny's face softened, her words stern, but comforting.
"Time is up." Scarlett said abruptly looking at the small wrist watch she wore.
Renny gave the smallest exasperated sigh and nodded. "I'll see you soon?"
Scarlett shrugged and got up, bolting from the room. Renny was wrong, she would betray Levi by letting go.
Chapter 9
"Dinner." Emma called that Sunday night. Paul hurried into the kitchen, starving. Scarlett sat still on the couch watching a reality program on the old television.
"Scarlett, it's time for dinner."
"I'm not hungry." She said flatly. "Where is dad?"
Emma played with her hands in the kitchen entrance. "He had to work late." She replied and sat down with Paul. "Are you sure you aren't hungry?" Her voice trying to sound cheerful... normal.
Scarlett justed nodded and instead of watching Riley yell at Derrek for the millionth time she started wondering why her father had been "working late" so many nights this week. Scarlett had attended three therapy sessions, Paul was quiet and didn't cause a fuss and Emma, Emma did everything she could to help them be a normal family again. It wasn't them, was it?
"Does that even count as dancing?" Paul teased as his father lumbered about the room, twirling Emma with him.
"At least I try." He replied.
"Yeah, Paul... dance with me, won't you?" Scarlett asked holding out her arms.
It was a Friday and they listened to Chris and Emma's CD, a mix of songs they had complied over the years.
"No thanks." He shook his head.
Scarlett just grinned and pulled him out into the middle of their living room, twirling him in her arms.
"Let go!" He begged, but that just made her hands tighten around him. Her arm draped around his waist, another holding his shoulder.
"If this is anything compared to dad, I'm so sorry mom." He said closing his eyes as they moved towards the dark coffee table, which had been pushed to a wall.
They jerked back to the middle and both Paul and Scarlett smiled as they heard their father's meek laugh as Emma whispered something to him.
"Someday you'll be giggling like mom as a guy whispers in your ear." Paul said well making a face.
Scarlett scrunched up her face. "Never!"
"You are thirteen, love is right around the corner."
"Shut up and dance." She said. Scarlett couldn't even fathom the thought of love. Family was everything she needed.
"You missed dinner." Emma hissed as Chris walked in the back door.
"I had to work Em." Christopher replied, his tone not at all hushed.
"You can work and still make time for your family."
"What's the point? Our daughter is...." He trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.
"I know, she's sick, she's sad, and what helps that is being with her family, or at least knowing her family is there if she needs them."
"Then be there for her." He said, slamming a cupboard door and slopping cold stew into a large, blue bowl.
"I'm not the only parent." Emma said with a heavy sigh.
"Just stop." He shouted, punching thirty seconds into the microwave.
Neither of them heard Scarlett, who was standing in the kitchen entrance.
"Maybe we would be better off if you let me stop breathing and not resasatate me." She said in her now usual quiet voice.
"Scarlett, don't even say that!" Her mother's voice raised, in fear.
Chris looked at his frail daughter and grabbed his wind breaker, which had been laying on the table.
"I'm not listening to this." He muttered and left, leaving the bowl of stew in the now beeping microwave.
Scarlett turned on her heel. "I'm leaving." She said before disappearing down the hall and into her room.
The two of them left Emma standing in the kitchen stunned not to mention wondering what "I'm leaving" meant exactly.
Chapter10
Scarlett went into her bedroom, pulling out her favorite bright red bag. It was big and held a good amount of items. She threw in some clothes, mostly sweat pants and camis, which had become her daily dress code. "I'm sorry, really I am." Scarlett said coldly, feeling her mother's presence in the doorway.
"For what? For being hurt? For being sad? That's not something to be sorry for Scar." She said softly.
"Apparently it is to dad." Scarlett said zipping up the bag and slipping into her sneakers.
"That's not true." Emma replied almost harshly. "It's been hard this last month and a half."
Scarlett looked her mother dead in the eye. Their amber eyes were full of sadness, grief and anger.
"Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did Levi have to die?" Scarlett felt like she could break down, but their were no more tears, her throat was hoarse from s
creaming.
"It was just... time."
"That's what Renny, Annie, everyone, told me... but I, I don't think that's true." With that Scarlett pushed past her mother and walked briskly down the short hallway. She made her way to the front door and pulled it open. As it shut behind her she heard the weak crying of Emma.
Scarlett frowned as she watched Levi strut down the parking lot towards her. He had that arrogant air about him that he got once in a while, which probably meant he had aced a test.
"Hey." He said cooly. She rolled her eyes, she absolutely hated it when he got that "look at me" look.
"Hi." She muttered and looked over at Annie and Hannah. 'Help me' she mouthed.
They saw her and started laughing, they thought it was so cool Levi O'Hara was speaking to her. It was November, three months into Freshman year for the three of them. Hannah gave Annie a look after they recovered and they quickly raced over to her.
"Poetry?" He asked, nodding towards the book Scarlett held.
"Yeah... I have to read it for English." She said making a face of disgust. She studied him a minute, he was... cute? Dark hair that was messy on purpose and green eyes that stood out in a crowd.
Little did she know he was studying her long, dark red hair and amber eyes with just as much intent.
"Scar, can you come help us with... um... that..." Annie looked to Hannah for help.
"Your boyfriend is looking for you." She thought on her toes. Hannah's almond shaped, hazel eyes danced with glee.
Scarlett cast a look their way and then nodded. "Right." She said taking the opportunity to escape Levi.
He watched her go with a small smile. He suddenly realized she didn't like the way he acted so high and mighty. "Well, I can change." He whispered before turning to his laughing friends.
"Scarlett?" Wendy Josephal rubbed her bright blue eyes awake. "What are you doing here at this hour?" In truth, she was wondering what Scarlett was doing here at all. She hadn't been to this house since junior high, She only reckonized her because they had both been at Levi's funeral.
"I-is Jared here?"
"Um... well, sweetie," Wendy struggled for words.
"It's okay, mom." Jared came behind his mother.
"Are you sure?" She asked her son intently. Scarlett noticed they looked so similiar, sharing most of their features except eye color.
He nodded and gave her a look that said politely 'leave'. She complied, giving Scarlett a weary look before she disappeared up a flight of stairs. She worried about her son when he was with the sad child.
"What happened?" He asked immediatly.
"I left. They hate me." She said simply.
"You can't stay here." He said, well reaching for her.
"Why not? I thought... why not?"
"Scar, I." He paused. "I love you okay, I wanna help you and you need me, I understand, but I just can't keep dropping everything for you." He regretted the words the minute they left his light lips.
Her face fell. Suddenly the only person that made her feel better was telling her to leave. To get out of his life.
She laughed. Her first laugh since Levi's death. The only one who could even get a smile out of her was Jared and now he had accomplished laughter.
He looked surprised, but smiled himself. He was just glad she could be somewhat happy when they were together, in a way he felt guilty. Like he was trying to steal his dead best friend's girl, which wasn't true. He was just being a friend, being there for her.
"Thanks for coming over." She said looking up, her eyes filled with sadness, making his own feel depressed.
"Of course! Anytime you need to talk, just call me." He replied sincerely. She had cried, talked and yelled for an hour mostly about Levi's death. He figured it was good that she told someone, even if it wasn't her therapist Renny.
"Thanks Jared, just... thanks." She said her eyes filling with tears again.
"Sshh." He hushed her, pulling her into his arms and softly squeezing her. She needed him, he knew he had to stay, he couldn't let her down.
Chapter11
Here I am, once again
I'm torn into pieces
Can't deny it, can't pretend
Just thought you were the one
Broken up, deep inside
But you won't get to see the tears I cry
Behind these hazel eyes
Scarlett sat on a black plastic bench waiting for the late night train. She refused to cry, show emotion. She had done that and it did nothing. The popular song raced through her mind, the lyrics wrenching her heart. A sudden vibrating in the back pocket of her dark jeans made her jump slightly. She fished around until she found the square phone. She hadn't realized she had picked it up.
Glancing at the caller i.d. she raised her arm to throw it out in the street. It was dark out, the stars shown over the town. She hurled it into the street.
"Leave me alone." She muttered. "Just leave me alone." Scarlett looked down at her lap, the chorus running through her head again.
"Scarlett?" She looked up at her name only to see her 'beloved' therapist, Renny.
"What are you doing here?" Renny asked, her orange hair stood out against the gloomy night sky, her soft, raspy voice wrenched at Scarlett's heart somehow.
"Waiting." She replied quietly.
"For?" Renny persisted. It was a talent, picking the truth out of you.
"The bus." This time Scarlett cocked her head upwards to look at Renny.
"Oh... family trouble?"
Scarlett shrugged, she saw the head lights of the large bus that would go straight out of here, Pennsylvania to Connecticut. She didn't know what she would do, but she had a hundred dollars to at least buy food.
"Why don't you come stay at my place for the night... at least think about leaving." Renny suggested. "I'm probably breaking a ton of rules inviting you, but hey, the things I do for..." She trailed off not wanting to say patient and have Scarlett blow up.
"Your crazy instutue worthy creeps?" She finished.
Renny couldn't help but laugh softly. "If you want that title, you can have it."
Scarlett looked up at her, surprised she laughed. "Whatever." She muttered and looked back down the road.
"So, you coming or not?" Renny asked not a bit fazed by her attitude.
Scarlett squinted her amber eyes. She really didn't want to get on a bus, leave and never come back with barely any money and no phone.
"One night." She said, standing up, red bag in hand.
"Three wishes, any three." A floating head, draped in teal satin spoke to Scarlett. Her red hair fell to her lower back, her amber eyes flowed with emotion of sadness and happiness... her confusion showed.
"Three..." She said to herself thinking. "I want my family to be happy forever." She said naming her first wish.
"Done." The head said with a nod and Scarlett's head filled with an image of her brother laughing, he was married now, her mother and father dancing and grinning... flirting with each other subtly.
"I would like to have money beyond the richest man on earth." She said smiling a bit selfishly.
"Done!" He exclaimed and suddenly money rained from the transparent sky.
"I want Levi back... in human form." She said needing to be specific.
The head frowned and shook his head. "I'm sorry Scarlett, but I can't grant that wish. You will never be able to hold him again, see him, love him, breathe in his scent or hear his laughter."
"But you said any wish!" She said, her rounded chin quivered. "Any wish!"
"Not this one I'm afraid." He was calm and that made her all the more angry.
"I WANT HIM BACK!" She screamed and looked around for something to hurl at the head. When she picked a large stick up in her hands and turned back towards him he was gone.
"I WANT LEVI BACK." She shouted again, maybe if she persisted the wish would come true.
"I WANT HIM BACCKKK."
"Back." She woke up muttering, "back, back,
back"
She realized it was only a dream and sat upright on the black, leather couch. It was dark in Renny's small living room so Scarlett reached over anc clicked on the small table lamp.
Renny actually had pretty good taste, she decided. The walls were a mild red and all the decor and furniture was black or white. She stood up, stretching. She was just wearing a cami and her dark blue underwear.
She stumbled her way into the kitchen and turned on the light, her delicate fingers dusting against the switch.
"Holy shit!" She jumped back, seeing Renny leaning against a counter drinking a mug of tea.
"What the hell?" She shrieked, surprised by Scarlett.
Scarlett ran a hand through her choppy, shoulder length hair and sighed in recovery.
"You scared me!"
"I scared you? You scared the shit out of me." Renny replied.
"Are you supposed to use that language with patients?" Scarlett's voice went back to her all too normal monotone.
"Not only are we not in a session, but we aren't even at my office. Plus I'm not some old woman, I'm only thirty!" Renny sounded slightly offended.
Scarlett just shrugged and started opening cupboards, looking for a glass.
Renny went back to sipping tea and watched Scarlett search and then fill a clear, plain, glass with water from the faucet.
"Are you going to school today?" Renny asked.
"No." Scarlett said taking a big gulp of water and propping herself up onto the counter, her head leaning against a white wall cabinet.
"You've been going back to school for the last few weeks though, haven't you?"
"Yes...."
"Why not today?"
"I thought we weren't in a session." Scarlett said, her defenses coming up.
"This is what a session is like anyway, one word answers and frowning." Renny said turning around and rinsing out her mug.
"I'm not your mother and to be honest I won't make you go to school, but you need an education." Renny said and walked out of the room before she could reply.
Scarlett sat on the counter knowing she did need an education and that she wanted to graduate as soon as possible. Screw Jared and Annie who hadn't spoken to her in two weeks.
She nodded to herself and went back to the couch, falling asleep. She would go to school this morning, she would do something besides mourn for Levi; someone she could never have back. A tear streamed down her cheek and she wiped it away. She just wanted to move on.
Chapter12