~ ~ ~
It was much later before either of them spoke again. Gray held her firmly against him as she rested and tried not to think about how much her life had changed.
“Julie Ann, I wasn’t quick enough to protect you.”
At first she didn’t know what he meant. Then she realized he was talking about pregnancy. Things had happened so fast, she hadn’t even considered it.
“What do you mean, you weren’t quick enough?” she asked.
“I wasn’t going to...I didn’t plan...” He stopped, kneading her hip in frustration. “Just take my word for it,” he said finally. “When was your last period?”
“A couple of months ago.” She listened to him draw a deep breath. “Don’t worry. I’m not regular. It’s always a surprise.”
“I hope you don’t have another surprise.”
She tried to imagine a baby. Gray’s baby. She had never even dared to imagine a child of her own. She had so much love to give. A baby would be a gift from heaven, and heaven didn’t bestow those kinds of gifts on Julie Ann Mason. With almost superstitious zeal she had kept herself from hoping for a husband and children someday, because she was afraid that if she really wanted something, it would never be hers.
But she had never expected to have someone like Gray in her life, either.
“Julie Ann?”
“I won’t get pregnant.” She told herself it was true.
“Promise me if you do, you’ll let me know right away.”
“What would you do if I was?” she asked curiously.
“I don’t know.”
“I’d have the baby.”
“A baby would ruin our lives.”
She knew he was referring to their separate plans for the future, plans that didn’t include the growing love between them. Realistically, she knew he was right, but she was still sad that he believed something as beautiful as their child could ruin anything.
“We’d better be very careful, then,” she said.
“I’ve got to go back to school tomorrow. That’s as careful as we can get.”
“Will you write me?”
He stroked her hair. “Will you read between the lines?”
“Yes.”
He was quiet so long that she thought he’d fallen asleep. Then he spoke. “Julie Ann?”
“Uh-huh.”
His voice was tender, and his words were as close to a proclamation of love as he had ever come.
“My father may have been right about us, but after tonight, I really don’t give a damn.”