Chapter 31 – Reporting the News
Henric dropped Constantine off at his Sullivan’s Island house where they split the take, with Constantine keeping the three hand guns and Henric taking the rifle. Constantine entered the kitchen carrying his tote bag and the newly acquired tote bag. Slev and Anna were prepping for dinner: chicken stew, bistro style. The stew would simmer for eight hours.
Constantine went to an unused counter and opened the new tote bag. Out came the three guns, the boxes of ammo, and three pairs of ear protectors. Slev said, “We don’t have enough guns around already? You want more? I thought you hated revolvers.”
Anna went over and picked up one of the Smith and Wessons. She released the cylinder, and saw the gun was fully loaded. She snapped the cylinder back in place and hefted the gun into firing position. She aimed through the window at a shrimp boat leaving the harbor and said, “Revolvers are so boring,” and set it back on the counter.
Slev looked at Constantine. He said, “I didn’t go out and buy more guns. Or rather, have someone buy them for me. I didn’t even ask for these. Some guys we met at the range gave them to us. Henric got a rifle out of the deal.”
“What did you give them in this deal?” Slev asked.
“Um, we gave them some bullets.”
Both Slev and Anna got the picture, and waited for the story.
Constantine also got the picture that he would have to tell the story. “Some guys wanted the Mercedes. They wanted to trade their car for our car, and their car had this picture of bull’s testicles painted on the back, so we said no.”
Anna looked at Slev, and both of them looked back at Constantine. “Anything else?” asked Anna.
“They said Henric and I were homosexuals.”
Slev looked at Anna, and both of them looked back at Constantine. “And then what happened?” asked Slev.
“We told them we were bird-watchers, looking for Red-cockaded woodpeckers, which we found by the way. Red and white and black colors on them.”
Anna sat down on a stool, and then Slev sat down, and then Anna said, “Bull’s testicles painted on a car, gays, woodpeckers. All that happened with some strangers? That’s a weird conversation.” Knowing full well it was not, she asked, “Is that all?”
Constantine said, “That was all of the conversation.”
Slev’s hands were folded together on the counter, and at this point she put her head down on them, just momentarily. When she raised her head she said, “This is going to a bad place, isn’t it?”
“Well, it certainly went to a bad place for the three guys, yeah. We, ah, shot them.”
Anna said, “You shot them because they had a strange painting on their car, and they said you were gay?”
Constantine thought he would have a little fun with Anna, so he said, “No, didn’t shoot them because of that. We shot them because they said bird-watching was a sissy hobby. Henric didn’t like being called a sissy. So….”
Anna looked at Slev and said, “Oh, well, of course. I can understand that, can’t you?”
Slev gave it a minute and then said, “He’s teasing.” She looked at her husband, extended her hands, palms up, and said, “Well?”
“Well, they pulled guns on us. They were dumb. They didn’t know we were armed. We had to shoot them.”
“And they’re dead?”
“What, for calling us gay? Would I kill someone for that? No, we shot them in the legs.”
“And?”
“And, we left them there.”
“And, they all bled to death?”
“I don’t think so, but I don’t know for sure. They weren’t bleeding too badly when we left. The bullets didn’t get any arteries. But it did hurt. We could see that.”
Slev said, “Did they get the license number of the Mercedes? Are the police going to show up here?”
Constantine pondered on that. He sat down on a stool across from the two women, near the chopping block with the dismembered chicken on it. “I hope not. I don’t think so. They were pretty dumb guys. And they thought they had it all over us, from the beginning. They didn’t assess the situation very accurately when they decided to mess with us. It would surprise me if they got the number; they were too busy laying on the ground, moaning and whining.”
Anna asked, “What was your hit ratio? Shots fired relative to shots hitting the target?”
Slev looked at Anna. Weird. Anna certainly was an unusual young woman.
Constantine thought Anna’s question was interesting, so he said, “I know we each fired four shots, ‘cause I counted them. And I know all three guys went down. But we didn’t check to determine the hit ratio. We just got outta there.”
It was only about noon, and Slev was planning on drinking wine with dinner that evening about 8pm, but she went to the refrigerator, got out a bottle of chardonnay, and opened it. She poured three glasses, took a sip from hers, walked around the counter to her husband and said, “I’m glad you’re safe.”