Chapter 35 – Anna and Champagne
Late that afternoon Gwen got an email from Constance Lavoirsiere, who identified herself as Steven Spielberg’s personal assistant for European affairs. It requested that Ms. Gwen June secure the services of Ms. Glissy Stirg to participate in a Spielberg Productions documentary film about the place of Champagne in French and world culture, and indicated that Ms. Catherine Deneuve had guaranteed that Ms. June would accomplish this task. Attached to the email was a brochure type document that obviously was the first draft of some promotional marketing effort. It announced that Catherine Deneuve would be acting as the central figure in a Spielberg Production documentary set in the Champagne region of France. There was no mention of Glissy Stirg, or the role she would play. A second attachment was a standard contract for employment with Spielberg Productions. The contract did not specify Glissy’s responsibilities, other to say, “Services as required by the authorized representative of Spielberg Productions.” It did specify that Ms. Stirg’s remuneration would be based on standard actors guild rates, though it didn’t describe these rates or rating scale.
Gwen could see that when Spielberg wanted something or someone, he got it, and people didn’t quibble about things such as how much work and what type of work, in exchange for what compensation. That was a very nice position for him to be in, and Gwen could see the reality of it. She figured Anna wouldn’t have a lot of problems with the details. How could they compare to being in France with The Deneuve, part of a Spielberg Productions film? “Let’s go,” is what Gwen figured Anna would say. That’s certainly what she would say.
When Slev answered the phone, Gwen said, “You’re not going to believe this.”
“Oh, cool, I love not believing things. Usually they turn out to be true and interesting. What’s up?”
“This is so amazing we need to talk face to face. It’s about Anna. Is she home? Can the three of us do lunch?”
“She’s home. She was down at The Hall this morning watching the rehearsal. Henric bought the boys a Steinway, and Anna was practicing Gershwin songs. What time and where for lunch?”
“McCrady’s. 3 o’clock. Dress up.”
When Slev and Anna walked into the restaurant the hostess took them to a large table in the rear where Gwen sat alone. On the table was a book, a few papers, and six wine buckets, each holding a chilled bottle of Champagne, and several small plates of different kinds of plain crackers. Slev was dressed in an Armani silk shift, lemon yellow with green trim at the bottom hem and at the shoulders. Anna wore a tight burgundy skirt with a Tommy Bahamas silk blouse. The blouse was chartreuse with cream floral accents. Both wore three inch heels made by Pomonisi of Milan.
The sommelier gave them two minutes to get settled, and then came to the table. Gwen introduced him as Siegfried. “Siegfried is going to give us about fifteen minutes to gossip, and is going to come back and talk to us for a few minutes about Champagne. Then we’re going to start drinking Champagne, six different kinds. Aren’t we, Siegfried?” He smiled and nodded. Who wouldn’t want to talk about Champagne with these three stunning women? Of course his professional duties included tasting the wines, so he could fully and completely elucidate to the customers the characteristics and cultural values inherent in them. That’s what Gwen had hired him to do. What joy. Six bottles for three women.
Slev said, “We’re going to get drunk, aren’t we? Great. When are the men coming? And which men?” Anna giggled. It had been a while since she had gotten drunk, with or without men present.
Gwen said, “We have something to talk about, and then we’re going to drink some Champagne, and then we’ll invite others if we feel like it. I guess you’re feeling like it right now. How about you, Anna? You have a man you want to invite?”
Anna was feeling devilish even though she hadn’t yet had a sip of alcohol. She said, “How about my grandfather? He likes Champagne.”
Gwen and Slev smiled, but didn’t answer.
Gwen held up the book: Fodor’s Guide to the Champagne Region. She handed it to Anna. “You’re going to need this.”
Anna looked expectantly. Slev also looked at Gwen, expectantly.
“Catherine said, No, to working on Spielberg’s documentary about Champagne. She made him change the project. Then she said, Yes. They’re going to start in a few months.” Gwen let that hang for a moment. “That’s not all. Catherine wants you in it, and Spielberg said, Yes. Anna, you’re going to be in a Spielberg film. That is, if you want to be.”
Anna said, “That would be ok, I guess.” She looked at the book, without really seeing it. Then she looked at Slev, who smiled. Being in France, with Catherine. That thought elevated Anna’s mood. She had yet to process the Spielberg film thingy. Being in France, with Catherine, drinking Champagne. Her sensations quirked up a notch. Being in France, with Catherine, and Steven Spielberg, making a movie. She sat back in her chair, looked again at the book, and then looked at Gwen. “Wow,” was all she said. And she shook her head.
“Do you like Champagne?” asked Slev.
“I don’t know. I’ve had it a few times, but I can’t say if I like it or not. I wasn’t drinking it with anyone who actually knew anything about it. Just rich friends of my grandfather. I like most wine I’ve had, but not everything.”
“You have to tell them if you want to be in the film with Catherine. They want to know right away. They’re being pushy, but I’m sure that’s life in the film industry. You need to decide by tomorrow afternoon. Catherine will be with you, and will help you. They sent a contract for you to sign.” Gwen held up the paper. “We can have our lawyer look at it. It’s short and simple. That’s all I know.” She smiled at Anna.
“Ok, I’ll think about it,” Anna said. She looked confidence and complacent. “It would help if I could start learning about Champagne now. Can we start drinking?”
Both Slev and Gwen leaned across the table and kissed her on the cheek. Gwen stood up, looked to the doorway of the dining room, and Siegfried appeared. The women had fun over the next two hours, and so did Siegfried. He opened all six bottles, and took three out of the chillers. He explained the difference between a house Champagne and a grower Champagne, poured the wine into glasses of different shapes to show how that affects the experience, and spoke about how Champagne was one of the great wines to drink with food, complementing so many different dishes. Some glasses they drank chilled, and some they drank almost at room temperature. Between the different wines they nibbled the plain crackers.
At the end of the first hour they were loose, and sent Siegfried packing, with thanks and a hefty tip, and settled into a growing sense of fun and female companionship. They tried to keep a focus on the mechanics of learning about Champagne, but that was hopeless, and soon they slipped away into general hedonism. Slev called Helstof and asked her to come and bring Richard Adams. It had been quite a while since the four lovers had been together. Gwen called Gale, Charleston’s wild fashionista, because Champagne demanded her presence. Helstof called Guignard, who invited Jinny. Guignard wanted Jinny to learn about Champagne so he would buy more of it for her to drink.
Soon after this batch of friends arrived, Siegfried told Gwen he had to move them to the private dining, they were making too much of a racket, and the other patrons kept asking about the strange language, which was Jinny telling dirty jokes in Russian. It hadn’t taken him long to get sloshed. Siegfried got a mixed case of Champagne out of the cellar and opened half the bottles. Gwen went into the kitchen and ordered munchies directly from the sous chef.
At this point Gwen realized the bill for this party was approaching $2000. In good conscience she couldn’t exclude her husband, who she called, and who she always like being around when she was drinking to excess. “Roger, where are you?”
“I’m in the warehouse, checking on things.”
“Can you tear yourself
away? We’re having a little party. Downtown. McCrady’s. For Anna. Champagne. We’re all getting drunk. I need a kiss.”
“Be right there,” Roger said. “Save me something of everything.”
Gwen returned to the private dining room to find Gale in her underwear. It hadn’t taken her long to get sloshed either. Gwen knew Gale and Champagne went together like gunpowder and a match; there was no long, slow burn involved. Go Galey. Gwen went to Anna and said, “Champagne is for lovers, dear. Where is yours?”
Anna was sloshed, but she pulled herself together and said, somewhat seriously, “Ever since you caught me in your house, and sat me down with Catherine, and then introduced me to Slev and the others, I’ve been happy. It’s been exciting and interesting, and I did have that fling with Slev and Helstof and Richard.” She smiled goofily at that memory. “I haven’t thought much about men, about a boyfriend. I’ve been occupied, you know, with you and my grandfather.” She sipped more of a vintage Mumms. She looked around and saw Jinny and Guignard, and Helstof and Richard. Peter and Pater had arrived, and were not yet sloshed, but they were holding hands, and on their way. “Maybe it’s time. Maybe I should look for a guy. That would be nice, to have a friend.” Suddenly she smiled big. “Someone to drink Champagne with.”
They turned their attention back to the party, where Jinny had taken off his shirt. Guignard permitted that, but when he started on his pants, she slapped the back of his head. Whap! Then she kissed him and said in his ear, “That’s for me only, big boy.”
Roger arrived, saw Gale, said, “Damn.” He poured himself a very large dollop in a white wine glass.
Gwen went to Helstof and whispered something in her ear. Then she went to Slev and whispered the same thing to her. Both smiled. Helstof went to Richard, and said something. He looked surprised. Then he looked serious. Then more serious. Then, happy. He understood.
Gwen pulled Gale by the bra strap over to a corner of the room, where she got a grip around Gale’s waist and spoke quietly. After a minute Gale let out a shriek. “YES, YES,”
which drew everyone’s attention. Gale didn’t need time to figure things out. Her Champagne addled brain clicked into gear and she launched. “Everyone, here, game.” And she was up on a chair. Just then Siegfried, who was quite the handsome Germanic Black Forest guy, came into the room. Gwen grabbed him by his cummerbund and said intensely, “If I let you stay, Siegfried, you’re going to owe me, big-time. And I collect.” He nodded, quickly and with great affirmation.
“Game for Anna, game for Anna,” said Gale. “Champagne game, writer’s game, underwear game.” She waved her half-full flute, spilling only a little. She jumped off the chair and bounced over to Richard, who still had a serious look on his face. She put her arm around his shoulders, and put his hand on her chest just above her knockers. “Richard is going to write for us, impromptu, that’s the game. He’s going to write for Anna, because this party is for her, and her trip to France. This game is about underwear, because we all know about Anna and her black underwear, and we want more. We want women and Champagne and fun and writing.”
Gale could take hold of a ball and run with it, Gwen had to give her that. She was rockin. “Richard is going to write something about women and Champagne. He’s going to write a short piece about each woman in the room. If the group thinks it describes the woman, and likes it, that woman has to remove clothes to reveal underwear. We’re gonna see what we’re gonna see. Everyone, in?”
The guys immediately nodded assent, especially Jinny. Peter and Pater thought this would be fun, but on a different level, of course. Everyone looked at Richard, who was on the hot seat. Could he perform?
Gwen looked at Siegfried, and snapped her fingers. “Podium.”
He was gone for thirty seconds, and returned with the podium the Rotary Club used for their monthly Thursday afternoon lunch meetings. Siegfried was quite sure the Rotary Club never had meetings like this one. Richard stood behind the podium with a pad of yellow legal paper and a pen also supplied by the sommelier, calm, focused, and without fear. He loved challenges, and he knew these were his friends. Hell, half of them were his lovers. He closed his eyes and recited Kipling’s mantra: Drift, Wait, Obey. He opened his eyes and looked at Gwen. Might as well start with the leader. His eyes closed again for a full minute; his breathing slowed; his face relaxed; and he began to write.
Gwen’s the glass of bubbly wine
She’s a number, looking fine.
Gwen’s commander, life of actions
Leader, doer, hot reactions.
On the stage, smiling always
A performer, on life’s byways.
Got your back, first and last
She’s a rock, she’s a blast.
Champagne bubbles on her tongue
Friend of ours, she’s the one.
Gale, the MC in her underwear, bounded to the podium, picked up the yellow pad, and read it aloud. She waited for the effect on the others, then gave Richard a warm kind of kiss. She said, “Nice, Richard, nice Gwenny, nice and fun, you’re on a run. Did you like it, Roger?”
Roger clapped and said, “My baby.” Jinny hooted. He loved it. Anna gave Gwen a kiss.
Gale looked at Richard with a big smile and said, “Slevov, next, please.”
Richard took a breath and closed his eyes. Drift, wait, obey. On the yellow pad he wrote:
Russian woman, from the north
Warming here, laughs flow forth.
In sparkling bubbles, joy is hidden
Match her eyes, where love is bidden.
Romanov blood, cheekbones high
Make Carolina men, flirt and sigh.
Thoughts and feelings, meld intuition
Men get kisses, and loins fruition.
Champagne flavors, of fruit and bread
Slev’s our lover, the best have said.
Jinny bounced out of his chair and planted one on Slev’s mouth. Evidently Jinny likes verse, but of course he had put away his share of wine. Clapping from the others, Slev got another kiss from Gwen, and Peter and Pater got her in a sandwich hug. Richard went to the table and poured himself another glass of Taittinger ‘89.
“Richard, go, Richard go,” Gale practically screamed. “Now Helstof, now Helstof.” Siegfried was worried this was being heard in the main dining room, and that the Maître d’ would appear, but what could he do. No one was going to stop this show. Richard sipped, looked around the room, stared at Helstof, and picked up his pen.
Moscow minarets, home to her
Naked nights, lovers in fur.
Helstof sips, sweet French Champagne
Worlds ignite, no kisses the same.
Southern sand, she walks the beach
Men behind her, fantasize a reach.
Late at night, she thinks alone
Thanks and thankful, as friends have grown.
Helstof makes, the day more fun
When we sight her, feel warmth of sun.
Helstof leaned over to Slev and said, “That’s not the first thing he’s written to me. You should read some of the sex thoughts that man has. Very erotic. I’ll share some day, if he says I can. Writing’s the second best thing he does.”
Gale ran around the room like a wood nymph running around the stage of Sleeping Beauty. Siegfried was absolutely positive this had not happened during a Rotary Club luncheon. The door to the private dining room opened, and Selgey and Bart came in. Someone in the group had called and said, “Get down here.” Peter saw them, motioned to Siegfried to pour them Champagne, and then followed Gale flouncing around the long walnut table. He added grace to her procession. Gwen took over as MC, going to stand beside Richard, saying, “Guignard is next.” Richard wrote again, and Gwen read it aloud.
Jinny’s woman, she loves to show it
The better half, and we all know it.
Charleston friends, gave her a name r />
With such a sound, new person came.
Among the wines, Champagne is best
Guignard she knows, this cultural test.
Jinny’s feelings, Guignard he loves
He fits with her, like calfskin glove.
Russian here, in southern sun
All of us, as friends she’s won.
With this one, Gwen was afraid Gale would take it all off. Gale was wild, kissing everyone, starting with Guignard. Richard looked relaxed, waiting for the last challenge, and Gwen knew they should get on with it. Any minute now and the Maître d’ was going to pound on the door. “Hey,” she yelled. “Hey. Come on. Last one. Richard’s last piece. Richard, write about Anna.” Everyone chanted, Anna, Anna.
Richard looked down at the yellow pad, and then looked at Anna, who had been quiet. She was sitting next to Slev, who had an arm around her. Anna was having one good time, but left the wilding to Gale. She raised a flute to Richard, and smiled at Gwen. Richard closed his eyes for this last one, focusing his attention on the feel of the pen in his hands. He rolled the pen back and forth, back and forth, feeling the ink, knowing the power, drifting, waiting to obey. Beautiful Anna.
Future holds, on her are none
Exciting goals, towards those she’ll run.
Men as such, will fall to her
To one she’ll say, my blood you stir.
Till that day, the field she’ll play
Lucky ones, rolls in the hay.
Among her friends, she’s famous for
Italian silk, against her core.
Now she’s heading, on to France
Champagne there, will work its trance.
When Gwen finished reading this aloud, she picked up her glass and held it towards Anna. The question now was whether all the women present would follow Gale’s lead in revealing their accoutrement. Gale had been flouncing around in her underwear for the half hour of Richard’s performance, in her natural state. Or almost so. It seemed, to the others, par for Gale’s course. Certainly it was not par for Siegfried’s course. It was not par for McCrady’s private dining room’s course, and it was not par for the course of a Rotary Club Thursday noon luncheon. But it was for Gale. Selgey and Bart were in tune with Gale because they had seen a lot of visceral expressiveness in their travels around the world with ballet troupes, both on the stage, and off. Gwen, Slev, and Anna had been drinking Champagne for four hours. The others for two hours. Selgey and Bart for a few minutes, but they were feeling it. They looked at each other, and said, “Why not?” Selgey smiled, took one simple lead step forward, and in a bound, was on the walnut dining table. She landed, and instantly was en point. Bart didn’t need the single step. One twitch of his muscles and he was next to her. The boy still had it. She raised one arm, which he held, and with her other hand pulled her blouse over her head. No accoutrement was in place. Gale screamed, “You living doll.” Siegfried placed himself firmly in front of the dining room door and held the knob behind his back. Jinny sat down, staring at perfection. God he was glad he had met the Junes. Roger thought, ‘On the one hand I have to worry about Pmirhs Stirg coming after us. On the other, I get to see Selgey Landkirk do this. It all balances out, I guess.’ Gwen and Slev knew they had to do what they had to do, so they let drop their tops. Helstof followed. Gwen whispered to Anna, “Not you.”
Jinny looked at Guignard, who shrugged and said to him, “Whatever you want, babe. I’m ready to party.” Jinny stood up, eyed the table, and made up his mind. His girl deserved equal billing, one way or the other. He closed on her, whispered in her ear, raised his left arm in front of her to serve as a handhold, placed his right arm behind her, and said quietly, “Sit.” Guignard held onto his left arm, and lowered herself onto his right arm. They balanced for a count of three, and Jinny, using muscles that looked like the hindquarters of a horse, launched her towards the table. Her flying arc mimicked Selgey’s, but was higher. She landed on both feet in the space next to Selgey, at least balanced, if not with Selgey’s poise and grace. Off came her V-necked cashmere pullover, which she tossed in Jinny’s direction.
“Holy Jesus,” said Siegfried.
That was pretty much the show. Not bad for a bunch of forty-somethings. Gale, of course, tried to drive the spectacle to further heights, but the momentum trended downwards quickly. She tried to get out into the main dining room, but Siegfried held the door closed until Gwen came to the rescue. Gwen handed Gale her dress, which got the message across. Party over. Anna had learned about Champagne.