Passion spent, breathing ragged, and bodies shaking with reaction, they stayed locked in each other's arms, supported by the tree. In the aftermath of madness was overwhelming tenderness. Adrian whispered softly in Meriel's ear, "I love you, ma petite. Promise that you'll never leave me."
Her eyes opened, the intense blue hazy with emotion. "Why should I ever wish to leave you, beloved?"
Fear had been banished by passion, love, and tenderness, and Adrian wished the moment might last forever.
The world exploded.
The waning storm had one last bolt in its quiver, and with a flash so bright it etched the bones, lightning struck the tree next to theirs. Thunder was simultaneous, crashing with a shattering power so far beyond sound as to be a paralyzing physical blow.
The violence of the shock wave hurled them to the ground. As they fell, Adrian tightened his arms around her in an instinctive protective gesture. He had a fleeting awareness of the sounds of devastation, and of an acrid, biting smell.
Then he knew no more.
Chapter 16
Meriel felt that she had been wandering a long while in darkness, and awareness came in a piecemeal fashion. Slowyly she realized that she was out-of-doors, lying on her back on soft moist earth. A steady rain fell and she could feel it on some parts of her body, but most of her was protected by a warm, heavy weight.
The sensation matched nothing in her experience, and questions wound dizzily through her mind. Where was she? And how had she come to be here? When she could find no answers, she made the immense effort of opening her eyes.
The warm weight that pinned her to the earth was Lord Adrian of Warfield. Meriel went rigid with shock at the discovery. The earl lay sprawled on top of her, breast to breast, one of his thighs thrust between hers and their faces nearly touching. His gilt hair was dark with water, and raindrops ran over his closed lids to trickle down the planes of his immobile face.
He was so still that for an anguished moment she was sure he must be dead. No, he was breathing, she could feel the rise and fall of his chest against hers. He was merely unconscious, as she had been.
How odd that the thought of his death was so upsetting after all he had done to her. Her dazed mind solemnly pondered the question of why. Perhaps it was because she wished death to no one, or perhaps it was because his demise would take something wild and beautiful from the world.
Her left leg was cold and wet, bared to the weather.
With a sick twist of horror, Meriel realized that her skirts were rucked up about her waist and that her body was pressed against Lord Adrian's with an intimacy just short of actual coupling. Sweet Mother of God, had he raped her?
She slid her hand down and touched between her legs. Her private parts were tinglingly sensitive and she felt a sense of repletion deep inside her. But there was no pain, and when she withdrew her hand, the sticky moisture on her fingertips was not blood.
Slowly she pushed at the earl's shoulders, tipping him onto his side, then pulling her right leg from between his thighs. She shuddered as his sheathed sword dragged over her ankle. In spite of her panicky desire to flee, she moved with great care, terrified that he might wake and try to stop her.
Meriel pushed herself to a sitting position and looked around. She recognized the stone circle immediately and remembered what had happened here before. It must have been a week or so ago, and had been a sunny day. But she could not remember how they had come here today, in a storm that should have kept decent Christians in their homes.
Had the earl brought her here and raped her? Why could she not remember? Though she would have fought him, he could easily have subdued her without knocking her unconscious. Yet she had no pain or bruising, nor any other physical evidence that he had assaulted her.
She shook her head dizzily, knowing that she was a fool to waste time worrying about what had happened. What mattered was seizing this chance to escape.
Her limbs trembling and her muddy mantle weighting her down like lead, Meriel stood, almost swooning as she did. She bit her lower lip savagely and the pain helped clear her mind.
To the left lay a shattered tree, yellow flames licking the trunk in defiance of the falling rain. Charred fragments of wood had been thrown in all directions.
Lightning, it must have been lightning. That explained the lingering pungency in the burnt air. No wonder she and the earl had been knocked unconscious and why she felt so badly shaken. Jesu, they were lucky not to have been killed!
To the right, two horses were tied under a tree. They were wild-eyed and nervous from the storm, but seemed to have had time to settle down since the lightning struck.
One was the sorrel mare the earl had given her to ride, the other a young bay gelding. She was glad he hadn't ridden his great black stallion, Gideon. With a head start the mare could outrun the gelding, so it would be unnecessary to take Lord Adrian's mount with her.
Meriel glanced down at the earl again, wondering if she should do something for him. Lying on his side as if sleeping, he seemed harmless and vulnerable, not the wicked tormentor but the handsome young man who had sometimes made her laugh.
She checked his throat and felt a steady pulse. His color was also good and she guessed that he was not seriously injured, merely stunned as she had been. He should waken soon.
In the distance she heard a faint rumble of thunder. The tempest had passed, though a steady rain still fell. A man as strong as Lord Adrian was not likely to be harmed by lying on the wet earth a little longer, but she found she couldn't turn away without first tucking his mantle around him. She also pulled the hood up to protect his face from the rain.
Moving quickly to the horses, Meriel untied the sorrel's reins, her fingers clumsy on the rain-swollen leather. Finally she managed to undo them, but before she could mount, she heard movement behind her.
Whirling, she saw Lord Adrian push himself to a sitting position. His head was bowed and his face hidden by the hood, and from the unsteadiness of his movements he was as disoriented as she had been when she first awoke. Hoarsely he called out, "Meriel, where are you? Are you all right?"
She inhaled sharply. With the earl awake, she could not leave his horse, so with frantic fingers she started unfastening the gelding's reins.
"Thank God you were not injured!"
Meriel looked up and saw that Lord Adrian's gaze had found her and his face was vivid with relief. There was something rather touching in his concern for her welfare, though she was not moved enough to want to remain his captive.
Shakily he regained his feet and started to walk toward her.
"Keep away from me!" Her exclamation was reflexive, and she was surprised when he stopped walking.
"Meriel, what's wrong?" he asked, his expression puzzled.
"You have been holding me prisoner for weeks and you have the effrontery to ask me what is wrong?" she said bitterly.
The gelding's reins finally yielded. Holding them secure in one hand, she swung onto the sorrel's back. "But that is about to be corrected, my lord!"
Even across the distance that separated them, she could see the horrified shock in Lord Adrian's gray eyes. Urgently he asked, "Meriel, what is the last thing you remember?"
"It was... it was..." What was the most recent event before waking up here? Everything was confused. Uncertainly she replied, "You took me for a walk on the castle walls. Then we went back to my chamber and you almost raped me."
"Meriel, that happened almost two months ago," the earl said unsteadily. "Can you recall nothing—nothing—more recent?"
She was a fool to bandy words with him rather than fleeing, but she wanted desperately to understand. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tried to remember. "You called me to your chamber. I... I think it was the day after we had gone up on the wall."
Her eyes flew open, suddenly fearful that he was going to grab her, but he hadn't moved.
"No, it was the same day, I remember that I was still distraught when I went to your chamber. I..
. I can't remember what happened after I got there." Her voice faltered. "But that wasn't two months ago! It must have been yesterday?"
"Look around you, ma petite," he said softly. "That was in the spring. It is summer now. Look at the trees and flowers."
Terrified, Meriel scanned the woods and clearing. He was right, for the leaves were the dense green of high summer and foxglove was in bloom. Weeks or months had passed, and she had absolutely no recollection of them.
On the verge of hysteria, she cried, "What did you do to me that I don't remember?"
The earl took a step closer, then stopped when she jerked her reins. "There was an accident, Meriel," he said, his voice as quiet as if he were calming a bating hawk. "You almost died. When you recovered, you remembered nothing of your earlier life."
When she just stared at him, wild-eyed, Adrian continued, "You agreed to marry me. Do you remember our wedding? The vows we exchanged? Ringing the bells?"
"No!" she exclaimed, appalled. "I would never have married you. Never!"
"Don't you even remember when your brother Alan arrived on our wedding day?"
Startled, she started to speak, then stopped and desperately repeated her earlier story. "My brother's name is Daffyd, not Alan. He lives in Gwynedd."
"No, ma petite, you have two brothers. I met the younger, Alan, when he came to Warfield from Avonleigh to find you. He spoke of your family and Lambourn Priory, but you had no memory of anything he told you," A thought occurred to him. "Notice that we are speaking Norman now. Earlier you had pretended ignorance, but after your accident you began using it."
Acute distress rippled across Meriel's face. Then she shook her head. "I could not have forgotten so much. You must have found out about my family some other way.''
Adrian's fragile control disintegrated. "Meriel, you are my wife!" he said hoarsely. "You said that you loved me and you married me willingly. In fact, you were eager to wed even though I questioned the wisdom of doing it so soon after your accident. Look, you are wearing my ring!"
She raised her shaking left hand and stared at the gold band. "No," she said in a horrified whisper. "I would never have gone to you of my own will. Did you finally tire of waiting and rape me, and I lost my wits after that?"
"Even at my worst, I could not hurt you, ma petite. Do you not remember that even when I was half-mad with desire, I always stopped?" Adrian raised a trembling hand to his head, wondering if he was the one who had lost his wits. "For nearly two months we have been together almost constantly. You were so happy, so full of love. Can you remember none of that?"
"You are lying," she cried. "You are lying!"
He stepped toward her. Surely Meriel could not have entirely forgotten the passion and tenderness that were between them. If she would only let him touch her...
"Keep away from me!" Her face a mask of revulsion, she collected the sorrel's reins.
Before the horse could set off, Adrian dived across the remaining distance and grabbed its bridle. "Meriel, don't run away like this, when you're upset and confused," he pleaded. "If you want to go back to Avonleigh, so be it, but at least let me send an escort to protect you."
"It is you I need protection from!" she said furiously. "You will not stop me from escaping this time, my lord."
She jerked her reins and the sorrel reared into the air, breaking Adrian's grip on the bridle. As he leapt away from the mare's flailing hooves, Meriel kicked her mount forward into a full gallop. Leading the gelding, she plunged down the trail away from the stone circle.
"Meriel, stop!" In spite of his shaky weakness, Adrian hurled himself down the track after her. Jesu, if only he had ridden Gideon today! He could have whistled the stallion back to him, but the gelding hadn't had the same training.
Within seconds Meriel was out of sight, but he continued running down the muddy track. Though pain stabbed at his side and his lungs screamed for air, he did not stop until one foot slipped in the mud and he fell, crashing down on his side and rolling across the trail.
Too exhausted to continue his hopeless pursuit, he doubled over and buried his head in his hands, his whole body shaking with anguish. Jesu, what right did he have to stop her, even if he could? He had sworn to do anything she wanted, and what she wanted was never to see him again.
Adrian had worried that Meriel might remember her past and despise him for what he'd done at the beginning, but he had never dreamed she might also forget everything else that had happened since. All the love, all the passion and tenderness and vows of fidelity—it was as if they had never existed.
For Meriel, they did not. She looked at her husband and saw only her tormentor. There has never been a woman more blessed than I, for you have chosen me for your wife.
Her remembered words mocked him viciously. Why should I ever wish to leave you, beloved?
Perhaps God himself had sent that lightning bolt from heaven. Adrian tried to dismiss the bizarre thought. It was merely an accident, a result of being in the wrong place—but in his heart he did not believe it.
This, finally, was his punishment. He had known that repentance and a vow to atone were not enough to redeem his crimes against Meriel. The hard self-mastery needed to resist her innocent sensuality after the accident had seemed like God's justice. Living with the guilty knowledge of what he had done to her and the fear that she would remember the past were also punishments.
But this was infinitely worse: to have known Meriel's love for a few brief weeks, then to lose it and have only her hatred. A white-hot dagger in his heart would have been less cruel.
Racked with devastation, Adrian wondered if it was possible to survive such pain without going mad.
* * *
Meriel had been riding for hours, and through her haze of confusion and fatigue the thought that sustained her was that she must get back to Avonleigh. From what she remembered of her initial journey to Warfield and her first trip to the stone circle, east was to her right, and she turned that way when she found a well-traveled track. A mile or two along, she released Lord Adrian's horse.
Apart from a brief thinning of the clouds that showed the sun's position and confirmed her judgment of direction, the rain continued cold and steady. Occasionally she saw a serf in the distance and twice she rode through small villages, but few people were abroad and no one threatened her.
Her clothing had long since soaked through and she shivered uncontrollably as the tired mare picked her way through the heavy mud. Because of the weather, the light began to fail early, and it was dusk when she finally entered the dark expanse of royal forest that separated Lord Adrian's land from the country she knew.
In spite of her exhaustion, Meriel did not consider stopping. She would not feel safe until she had reached the other side of the forest.
* * *
The violent storm and heavy rain had slowed Benjamin l'Eveske and his party to a crawl as the oxen struggled to pull the heavy wagons through the mud. A broken axle finally stopped them altogether.
Since it was nearly dusk, Benjamin signaled Edwin, the captain of his hired guard, and told him to make camp here. Benjamin would have preferred not to spend a night in the dark, ominous royal forest, but there was no help for it, so he set his servants to repairing the axle so they could resume their journey first thing in the morning.
By nightfall they were as comfortable as could be expected, with the men-at-arms eating around one fire and the fifteen members of Benjamin's household around another. The air was chilly and the fires welcome, but the rain finally stopped and the sky cleared to show a pale crescent moon and stars.
Though most of the travelers retired early, Benjamin felt a desire to stretch his legs after the fatigue of traveling. Sarah joined him on a short walk back along the track. They strolled side by side, their index fingers linking them together in a youthful sign of affection that they were far too dignified to indulge in before others.
"Do you think you shall like Lincoln?" Benjamin asked when they were out of e
arshot of the camp.
"I imagine so," his wife replied cheerfully. "Perhaps better than Shrewsbury. It may lack the trading advantages, and I suppose there is danger that the city may be sacked again if the civil war flares up, but as compensation, there are others of our people there."
"My plan for Shrewsbury did not work out well," he sighed.
"No matter. At least we found out about Sir Vincent's deception before it was too late."
They were about to turn back when they heard the muffled sound of hoofbeats on the muddy track. It was a single horse, moving very slowly. Curious, Benjamin drew Sarah back into the shadows so they could watch unobserved.
The rider that came into view was bowed over the saddle as if injured. As they watched, the small figure wavered and almost fell but managed to stay on the horse.
Benjamin called out, "Are you in trouble?"
The rider jerked upright, the slight figure taut with fear. In the dim moonlight they saw that it was a young woman. A face that would usually have been pretty was drawn with exhaustion, and she was muddy and bedraggled.
"Goodness, child, what has happened?" Sarah exclaimed, stepping forward into the moonlight.
Reassured, the girl said, "Nothing has happened. I am just on my way to my brother's manor." Her voice was thin, with a suggestion of chattering teeth.
Taking charge, Sarah moved closer. "You need some hot soup before you freeze, young lady. We are camped just ahead. Spend the night with us."
"I should not stop," the girl said uncertainly.
"If you don't, you might get lost or fall off your horse from fatigue," Benjamin said. "I understand there are wolves in the forest. Come, let us help you."
The girl looked from one of them to the other, then nodded, too tired to resist. "Thank you."
Benjamin took hold of the horse's reins and led the way along the track to their camp while Sarah kept a wary eye on the girl to see that she did not tumble from the saddle. When they got back to their campfire and Benjamin helped her dismount, her knees crumpled and she would have fallen if he had not caught her. "I'm sorry," she said unsteadily. "I'll be all right in a moment."