No Aidan.
Of course not, she thought bitterly. Heaven forbid a Kincaid fall into line.
No problem, she decided. She’d just call a cab—she sincerely hoped they had one in town!—and wait outside. Pulling out her cell phone, she moved, head down, to the front door.
And ran right into a brick wall. Or rather Hudson Kincaid. He stood there with his feet braced apart, his arms folded across his chest, and his gaze inscrutable.
“Move,” she said, and then her good manners couldn’t be held back. “Please,” she added but not contritely.
He broke his stance to take the purse from her shoulder and transfer it to his. Then he took her phone and shoved that into his back pocket.
Stunned, she scrambled for something appropriately scathing to say.
But he beat her to it. “You want it both ways,” he said. “You want this to be just an item on your list as you’re spreading your wings and enjoying life, and that’s perfectly fine with me. I get it. I’m happy to be that guy for you. But on some deeper level you’re also playing at wanting something more, flirting with it when it suits you but running away when it doesn’t.”
“I’m not…” she started, indignant and furious. How dare he tell her what she was thinking? But… dammit. She couldn’t deny that there was some element of truth to what he was saying. After all, it had been her who said that she didn’t want this relationship and that she wasn’t ready. He’d been onboard with that because his life was full. He didn’t have room for love.
It’d made him the perfect man for her.
The problem was that she hadn’t counted on falling for him. That had been a mistake, her first of many. Like keeping that fact from him. Or assuming that he’d fall too—and then keeping that to herself as well. She’d told him to keep it light and she’d gone ahead and done the exact opposite. She’d been the one giving mixed signals, screwing this all up.
Her experiences had changed her. In fact, they had made her grow up to be someone more independent, more sure of herself. That had been so difficult for Aaron to accept that he’d tried to change her back. It had cut right to the bone.
And yet here she was, trying to change Hud. God. She gasped at the pain of it and pressed a hand to her heart.
She felt Hud slip an arm around her and lead her to a chair. He crouched in front of her with his hands on her knees, staring into her face. “What just happened?”
She shook her head. “I’m trying to change you, change what you want, what you need.” She squeezed her eyes shut, horrified at herself.
“Bay. Bay, look at me,” he said, a quiet demand.
She opened her eyes, a little amused in spite of herself that his tone of authority still got her.
“You didn’t try to change me, you simply told me how you felt,” he said.
“Under the influence,” she reminded him.
“It was still the truth,” he said calmly. “You didn’t ask me to change a damn thing. You were open. That’s the way it’s supposed to be between two people who are—”
“Sleeping together?”
“It’s a little more than that,” he said dryly, even though he looked a little surprised to hear himself say so.
She heard a half laugh, half sob escape her, and she slapped a hand over her mouth. “How much more?” she asked from behind her fingers, unable to help herself.
“A hell of a lot.” He was gracious in defeat, standing and offering her his hand, pulling her to her feet and straight into his arms.
His kiss, deep and full of emotion, sealed the deal. No, he didn’t say the three little words I love you, but she didn’t need them. Words weren’t needed in moments like this, especially as he carried her to his suite, where he kicked the door shut and hit the lock.
“Be sure,” he said quietly, letting her slide slowly down his body until her feet touched the floor, looking into her eyes, his own dark and intense and serious.
She wrapped her arms around him tight, one hand reaching up to slide around the back of his neck, pulling him down to her.
He hesitated for a beat and then came willingly, crushing her to him, burying his face in her neck. “Bailey,” he whispered. “You deserve better.”
“Sorry, but we’re going to have to agree to disagree on that.”
He opened his mouth but she put her finger over his lips. She knew he was mixed up about his past, how he felt it tumbling into his present, making his future hard to imagine. He hadn’t heard about Jacob. He had no idea how fast his mom was going to deteriorate.
It weighed on him. She got that.
And maybe she couldn’t help the boy he’d been, and she’d never been one to look to the future since, until recently, she hadn’t even had a future.
But the present… That she could handle. She had the present right here in her arms, and fears and worries aside, she couldn’t imagine ever letting go. “You know what I think?” she whispered. “I think you’re about fifty percent tough alpha male, thirty percent bravado, and twenty percent bullshit.”
He laughed. “In this case, bravado and bullshit might be the same thing.”
“Fifty-fifty then,” she said, unconcerned. She lifted a hand to his face, letting her fingers linger over the scruff lining his jaw. “I think you take what you want when you want it. Except when it comes to things that might actually want you back.”
He stilled and his muscles bunched, like maybe he was going to pull away. She wasn’t a match for him on the best of days, of which this wasn’t one, so she just wrapped herself around him like a monkey on a tree. Because if he thought he was going to bow on this conversation, he was sorely mistaken.
Instead, he backed to the chair in the corner of his room and sat, and because she was still wrapped around him, she ended up in his lap.
His hands went to her hips. To hold her there or to shove her free, she had no idea so she kept her grip tight just in case.
“You keep saying shit like that,” he said. “Like you know me to the core.”
“Maybe I do. Or I’m coming to.”
“It hasn’t been long enough.”
“What’s long enough?” she asked. “Life is in the moment, Hud. Life isn’t always eighty plus years, not for everyone. And besides, some things take only a blink. Maybe we’ve not dated in the traditional sense, but we’ve spent a lot of time together. On the scaffolding. On the mountain. On skis. Off skis…” She smiled. “Hours that add up to days. We’ve been in the trenches, hung out with your family. You’ve seen mine in action too. I know where you’ve come from and where you want to go. You know the same about me. If you add up all those parts and put them together, including the times when we were flirting while pretending not to even like each other, we’ve been together for a good long time.”
He stared at her. “That’s some creative accounting,” he finally said.
She smiled demurely. “I can be very creative, it’s true.”
He laughed, low in his throat, the sound sexy as hell and also… familiar. It made her warm from the inside out. “Do you want me to make the first move?” she asked. “Because I’m good at that too. I’m fearless these days.” She smiled. “Creative, fearless, and hungry for you. So hungry I’ll even beg.” She softened her voice, low and husky. “I’ll do whatever you want, Hud.”
She’d absolutely meant to seduce him, but she’d meant to do it while keeping the upper hand. Wrestling that from her, he surged upward, knocking them both out of the chair and onto the soft, thick carpet. Sprawled and knocked breathless, she stared up at him.
He gave her a smile that was so wicked and full of naughty intent, she felt herself go damp. Then he scooped her up and tossed her to the bed, following her down and pinning her to the mattress, his eyes heavy-lidded and sexy as he watched her reaction.
From flat on her back, weighed down by one hundred and eighty pounds of hard muscle, she tried to figure out how to wrestle the control back. She arched up into him.
“You’re a menace,” he said fondly, and pressed her deeper into the mattress, rubbing the neediest part of her to the hardest part of him, wrenching a moan from her throat.
“A gorgeous menace,” he murmured, and held her still, making her take what he offered.
And what exactly is he offering? a little voice asked. Nothing yet…
But then he rocked against her with the exact right pressure and rhythm, and she gasped.
“Kiss me,” he demanded.
Well, finally. She obliged, kissing him with all the pent-up heat and hunger in her heart. She’d been craving this, starving for this with a man. This man.
They went nuclear then, tugging at clothing, their hands battling each other to get skin to skin until with a frustrated growl Hud drew back and ripped her—his—shirt open, sending buttons flying across the room.
She moved against him, trying to get him inside of her. But he held her off, his mouth moving from her mouth to her throat, to the curve of her exposed shoulder and then her breast. He teased her nipples, sucking them into his mouth, then pulling back to blow on them so that they tightened even further, making her writhe beneath him.
When he seemed satisfied that she was completely out of control, he shifted down her body. With a whimper of gratitude she threaded her hands into his hair, trying to guide him to the spot where she needed him, but he pulled her hands free and held them in his, one on either side of her.
“Hurry,” she demanded. Nicely of course.
He flashed her a hot smile. “We’re not on my desk or on the floor,” he said. “We’re in my big, comfy bed. You’re not going to hurry me.”
Damn. Had she actually thought she liked his alpha side?
Ignoring her plaintive whimpers, his big hands slid to her inner thighs. He held them open for his mouth, which made its torturously slow way from her stomach to her hipbone and then finally headed south.
She quivered and felt him smile against her. “Patience,” he said.
Not her strong suit. In fact, words like hurry, now, and faster were running through her mind and as if he could tell, he let out a huff of laughter against her skin.
“Dammit, Hud—” She broke off as his tongue flickered out and touched her, and she moaned shamelessly.
Then his mouth descended and she lost herself. Just as, when she was with him like this, she was found. Simple and terrifying as that.
When he’d peeled her off the ceiling, he came up with a condom and slid into her, making her cry out his name.
“So good.” His voice was low and rough in her ear. “You always feel so good wrapped around me.” Pushing up to his knees, he lifted her along with him so that she straddled him now—which seated him even more deeply within her—and she gasped.
He slowly rocked his hips against hers. “Okay?”
So okay she couldn’t speak, she could only nod and clutch at him. Every time he ground into her she whimpered for more. He crushed his lips to her and she plastered herself to him, unwilling to let him go. Ever. Needing to maintain contact with his skin, to feel the heat of his desire, to hear him groan her name as he pushed deep inside her, she held on tight, so tight.
But then he pulled away—just far enough that their lips were no longer touching and their eyes could meet—and held her gaze as he moved slow and steady, his chest brushing hers with his every thrust, his big hands hard at her hips, holding her where he wanted her.
Staring into his eyes, she searched but didn’t have to look far to see everything she felt for him mirrored right back at her.
After, he tucked her into his side and covered them both up. She thought she could be happy in the warm, strong circle of his arms forever. There was no doubt in her mind. She’d fallen in love with Cedar Ridge, with the people in it, with the life she’d made for herself here…
With Hudson Kincaid.
She’d experienced a few epiphanies in her life, but right there in Hud’s bed with a new day dawning, she had another. She’d been given a new lease on life and she was so grateful. But now she dared to hope for more, that she could have that new lease on life and love.
Don’t worry about if you can do it, Bailey-Bean, just pretend you can. Pretend enough and it becomes real.
And thinking it, hope blossomed.
Because yes, this whole thing had started as a line item on a list of things she wanted to do to fulfill her life, and yet instead Cedar Ridge had become that life.
But Hud had been right. She wasn’t the list. Not even close. For the first time, she wasn’t worried about what happened next. She could actually control that and she knew what she wanted.
To be here, with Hud, for as long as he’d have her.
Yes, there were a whole lot of things she didn’t yet know, such as whether she would continue to go back and forth, or move here and freelance from Cedar Ridge. But the beauty of her job was she could do whatever she wanted. It’d take some work and it would also involve a lot of compromising, but it would be worth it.
So worth it.
All that was left was to find a way to tell Hud what she was thinking so they could talk about it. Plan. She couldn’t think of a better time than right now, lying in his arms as she was. She’d just come right out and say it. Hud, I’m in this, all the way.
But Hud hadn’t moved, not so much as a muscle twitch. His breathing came slow and deep and steady—he was out. She knew how exhausted he had to be and the truth was, she wasn’t that far behind him. She could wait. They could wait. There was no hurry, no need to rush this at all. In fact, she should do the opposite of rush, since she now had all the time in the world.
The thought made her smile. She had two weeks of work left on the mural. She would just enjoy those two weeks and enjoy Hud. And let things happen. She had other jobs on the horizon, things she needed to firm up. There was a possible graphic arts job for a pub in London, which, if she was lucky, she could also finagle into a trip over there to see them in person and knock something else off her list. She also had things cooking closer to home. She’d line them up and see where things took her.
And then, when she finished the mural, if Hud hadn’t said anything about them in the meantime, she would. She’d tell him how she felt about him—while sober this time—and they’d go from there.
Yeah, she thought with a yawn, that worked. And thinking about it all with a smile on her face, she followed him into dreamland.
Chapter 28
As often happened during the ski season, the following two weeks came and passed in a complete blur for Hudson. He spent every second during the day on the mountain, whether on the ski runs or in the office, and plenty of graveyard shifts in town on the police schedule to boot.
But it was the weekends where he found himself thriving, able to feel Bailey’s presence in his life even when she was working on the mural and he was in uniform or on the mountain.
They’d claimed the nights for themselves though, and had made the most of every hour, every single moment.
And all those moments had him both flying high and also on edge.
Because it was almost over.
They spent a lot of time with each other’s tongues down their throats but not a single moment discussing what happened next.
Because Hud knew.
He’d heard her on her phone several times in the past weeks making plans for future graphic design jobs, which he got. Her job was fluid. She had to always be looking for the next job. And one of them was in England, where he knew she wanted to knock out another item on her list—taking a walking tour of English and Scottish castles.
She’d even talked about making a side trip to Paris, taking ballroom dancing lessons while she was there just because she could. He was thrilled for her, sincerely to-the-bone thrilled.
As for how he felt? He told himself it didn’t matter, that this was about Bailey, not him.
The mural itself was the talk of the resort. It was nearly done now, the colors vibrant and gorgeous against
the lodge, a set of siblings whose stories seemed bigger than life.
And it was almost done. He’d always known he was on borrowed time but that point hit home hard. And suddenly all those times when he’d changed the conversation or steered it away from what would happen when Bailey finished came back to bite him on the ass.
At the end of the day he walked into the offices. It was Saturday and his mom’s real birthday. The plan had been for Kenna to drive into town, pick Carrie up along with her favorite meal—loaded pizza—and bring her back to the resort for the evening. Everyone would make their way to the conference room for a dinner celebration.
Hud got to the offices a few minutes early, his mind busy with