Page 6 of The Magykal Papers


  But during his few months in the Marram Marshes with Aunt Zelda, Jenna and Nicko, Septimus changed. He shrugged off the shackles of the Young Army, he began to understand and trust people, and by the end of his time there, he decided that if Marcia Overstrand really did want him as her Apprentice then he would accept. And when he finally discovered who he was—Septimus Heap, the seventh son of Silas and Sarah Heap—Septimus felt his life opening out before him.

  With the routing out of DomDaniel and all his cronies, and the return of peace to the Castle, Septimus settled down to become Apprentice to Marcia Overstrand, and to try to get to know his family. This was at times a difficult balancing act—but something that he had never even dreamed would happen during his nightmare years as Boy 412.

  So, if you were walking along Wizard Way on your way to buy a sausage sandwich from Wizard Sandwiches, how would you recognize Septimus? Like all the Heaps, Septimus has curly, straw-colored hair and bright green eyes. He does comb his hair, although Marcia does not always believe him when he insists that he has—really. You would notice the green Apprentice robes right away, as green is not a popular color in the Castle (most people go for more subdued hues). He would probably be wearing his green Apprentice cloak and he would definitely have on his silver Apprentice belt complete with all its little compartments for Charms and other bits and pieces. When you got close enough to say, “Hello, Sep!” (or just smile if you felt shy) you would see a beautiful gold Dragon Ring with its emerald eye on his finger. Septimus would return your smile or say hello; he is known around the Castle as a friendly, approachable Apprentice who has not gotten “above himself” as they say there. It is also easy to make him laugh.

  A word of advice: if you see Septimus rushing along with Marcia Overstrand, it is advisable to do no more than give a brief wave. Marcia does not approve of distractions when Septimus is working.

  EXTRACTS FROM SEPTIMUS HEAP’S APPRENTICE DIARY

  I saved this from the night 409 was lost overboard:

  NOTIFICATION TO CADET OFFICERS 2 AND 11.

  Night exercise for Boys numbers 405 to 415. Cadet Officers 2 and 11 will:

  - Assemble Boys at midnight.

  - Silent-march Boys to waiting vessel at Slipway 5.

  - Embark under battle silence.

  - Advance vessel to Forest Landing Area 10.

  - Disembark under battle silence.

  - Complete night exercise 004a with double wolverine pit variation.

  - At dawn embark surviving Boys.

  - Return to Slipway 6.

  - All Boys to return directly to duty.

  * * * * * SPECIAL ORDERS * * * * *

  It has come to the notice of the Cadet Commander-in-Chief that some Cadet Officers have been assisting the Boys when in danger. This will NOT be tolerated. The Young Army is a Strong Army. ALL Boys are Expendable. Boys must sink or swim.

  I saved this from my Young Army days.

  ****** THE YOUNG ARMY ******

  Rules and Regulations Applicable to: Boy Expendables ranks I, II and IIIa. (for IIIb see Y.A.R.R. appendix 5c)

  Kit Regulations:

  Uniform must be clean and pressed AT ALL TIMES

  Boots must be polished AT ALL TIMES

  Daggers must be sharp AT ALL TIMES

  Backpacks must be in battle-ready order and ready for inspection AT ALL TIMES

  Any Boy in breach of above regulations will be allocated to the wolverine pit on the next Night Exercise. NO EXCEPTIONS WILL BE MADE.

  All Boys will be issued with:

  Tunic. Gray. 2

  Leggings. Gray. Pairs: 2.

  Y.A. Standard-issue Belt. Leather. 1.

  Dagger. Short. 1.

  Cloak. Gray. 1.

  Socks. Gray. Pairs: 2.

  Boots. Pair of. 1.

  Backpack. 1. (For contents of backpack see Quartermaster’s regulations EB-B IVa.)

  Chief Cadet Grade 1 Boys will also be issued with:

  YA regulation hat with peak. Gray. 1.

  Rabbit Fur Jerkin. 1.

  Superior Boots. Pair of. 1.

  Socks. Superior-grade Wool. Gray. Pairs: 2.

  Dagger. Long. 1.

  Any rank insignia will be issued on the first of the month at the Commander’s Parade and will be sewn on IMMEDIATELY. Failure to do so will result in withdrawal of ALL privileges and allocation to the wolverine pit on the next Night Exercise.

  STANDARD ARMY TESTS (SATS)

  MidWinter Feast Day Program

  Rank: Boy (Expendable) Number: 412 Age: 6

  0400 hours

  Pack Junior backpack according to Young Army Regulations.

  0423 hours

  Proceed to canteen. Regulation porridge to be eaten under battle silence.

  0430 hours

  Commence ten-mile march under battle silence.

  1000 hours

  Return to barracks.

  1100 hours

  All Key Stage One rhymes to be recited. Boys shall recite until word perfect.

  RHYME 1.

  Tomorrow’s Future Today: Young Army is the Way. Hooray!

  RHYME 2.

  On the Brink, Stop and Think.

  RHYME 3.

  Who in the Castle is Number One?

  The Supreme Cust-oh-de-UN!

  RHYME 4.

  Friends are enemies; enemies, friends, We don’t need to make amends.

  RHYME 5: Re: ExtraOrdinary Wizard. All Boys on Wizard Tower guard must recite this ten times before going on duty.

  Crazy as a cuttlefish, nasty as a RAT, Put her in a pie dish, give her to the CAT!

  Septimus, please note you will only practice the first four types of Spells until your sixth year. All Spells come in different levels of difficulty and risk. During your first year you will only do level one. I know you have tried at least two level threes (don’t think I don’t notice what you are doing in your bedroom), but this must not continue. Also note that these are simple categories and all Spells can be combined to produce compound Spells at an advanced level.

  Read and learn pages 2 to 4 in Dan Forrest’s Basyk Magyk Primer, then list below the seven types of Spells with a brief description:

  1. Servant Spells: e.g., to Find Find something that is lost

  2. Creature Spells: to cause a creature to change

  3. Matter Spells: to change matter

  4. Personal Spells: to cause yourself to change

  5. Extra-personal Spells: to cause another person to change

  6. Perception Spells: to change how things are seen e.g., Projections

  7. Other Spells: calling on the assistance of Darkenesse

  * * *

  A+ Very well done. Well remembered.

  * * *

  Use a mouse from the kitchen. There is no need to go all around the Tower making a nuisance of yourself and certainly no need whatsoever to go traveling up and down the stairs all day looking for one. We will prepare the CHEESE CHARM this afternoon.

  Instructions: First catch your mouse (see above). Hold securely in both hands and give the mouse the Cheese Charm to eat. Look the mouse directly in the eye and chant the Incantation in a low voice so as not to alarm the creature:

  MOUSE OF MINE, LOOK AT ME,

  MOUSE OF MINE, YOU WILL BE,

  MOUSE OF MINE FOR A YEAR AND A DAY,

  MOUSE OF MINE, YOU WILL NOT STRAY.

  When the mouse finishes eating the CHEESE CHARM, you will have your House Mouse. Now answer the following questions:

  1. How do you treat your House Mouse? With respect.

  2. Where will you keep your House Mouse? I may keep it in my pocket all day, but at night it must be free to come and go as it pleases.

  3. What will you feed your House Mouse? I will feed it healthy food suitable for a mouse, and I will not give it sweets or chocolate.

  4. Name five functions of a House Mouse. To be a companion, for running errands, to take messages to friends, to play board games and to fetch and carry small objects.

&nb
sp; * * *

  A- Well done. Your House Mouse is a little on the frisky side, and you had some trouble getting it to eat all of the Cheese Charm , but you persevered well. Apart from that, it was very good. Do you really want to call it Boris?

  * * *

  We will spend this week in the Pyramid Library and on a field trip to the Manuscriptorium. You will also have an afternoon free to browse in the smaller bookshops along Wizard Way to see what Charms you can find.

  Questions to be answered by the end of the week and handed in on Friday 5:00 P.M. latest:

  1. Where can you find Charms? Almost anywhere because people lose them. But usually in Magyk Magyk books tucked in a folded corner of the page.

  2. What is a Charm? A Charm is a small object that contains the Magyk Magyk imprint of the Spell and has the Spell written on it.

  3. Give seven examples of materials used to make CHARMS. Cheese, parchment, diamonds, stone, haddock, silver, toast.

  4. Do you always need the Charm to successfully complete a Spell? No, but you will need it for the first time.

  5. What is the most popular Charm in the Castle? A parchment pink heart true-love Charm—yuck.

  6. How many Charms are in the Pyramid Library? More than a million.

  7. Have you written a thank-you note to the Manuscriptorium for allowing you to see their rare and UNSTABLE CHARM collection? Yes. I gave it to the boy at the desk. He is really nice.

  * * *

  A Haddock is not used for CHARMS . Were you trying to be funny? CHARMS are a serious business, Septimus. Also, “yuck” is not a suitable comment to be made in your homework. Apart from that you did well. And I am impressed with the CHARM you tracked down in Bertie’s Book Heaven. I have never seen such an ancient and perfect scarab SAFECHARM before. Well done. In fact, on consideration, this is worth an A.

  * * *

  PAPERS FROM THE PALACE

  THE Palace

  HOW TO GET THERE: From the river, land at the Palace Landing Stage. From the Castle, head south down Wizard Way; you can’t miss the huge Palace Gate at the end of the Way.

  WHO LIVES THERE: The Princess and her parents, Silas and Sarah Heap. Maxie the wolfhound and Ethel the duck. Merrin Meredith (unofficially). Numerous Palace ghosts.

  WHAT YOU’LL FIND THERE: The ancient seat of the Castle Queens.

  WHY YOU’D GO THERE: To visit the Princess or the Heaps, or to sneakily find a little attic room to live in.

  WHY YOU WOULDN’T: The Palace is haunted and can be spooky. Some people find Silas Heap a little annoying.

  So You Want to Visit the Palace

  (OR WELCOME TO MY HOME)

  A PAMPHLET BY SILAS HEAP

  THE PALACE has not always been a place that just anyone can visit, but times have changed. My wife, Sarah, and I now welcome all on our guided tours.

  The Palace Gate is open from 6:00 A.M. to 12:00 midnight. Please remember that we have a very Ancient ghost, Gudrun the Gate—oops, sorry, Gudrun the Great—on gate duty. It is polite to ask her permission to enter, but she will always give it. Once through the Gate, stop for a moment to admire this beautiful building. We believe the Palace to be one of the most ancient buildings in the Castle. It is constructed from the mellow yellow stone used in the olden times. The long, low lines of the building, with its ancient crenellations and turrets at each end, are like nothing else you will see in the Castle.

  Proceed up the drive, past the well-tended lawns (courtesy of Billy Pot and his new mowing machine), and approach the wide plank bridge that crosses the ornamental Moat. Please do not dabble your fingers in the water. We have been trying to get rid of the infestation of snapping turtles, which were introduced by the Supreme Custodian in the Bad Old Days. We thought we had been successful but, after an unfortunate incident with an umbrella, it seems not.

  Walk across the bridge and please announce yourself to the attendant on duty at the door. All tours meet up in the entrance hall and must wait for their tour guide to collect them.

  Your tour will start at the Long Walk. This is one of the wonders of the Palace—a mile-long corridor that traverses the center of the Palace like a backbone. We’ve been told the Walk was once filled with paintings of past Queens, statues, treasures and trophies from all over the world. But since the Supreme Custodian sold the Palace’s treasures to pay for his extravagant banquets, nothing has been the same. A Mr. Milo Banda—previous consort to our dear departed Queen Cerys—has sought to replace these treasures during his extensive trips to the Far Countries, but in my opinion the quality of the objects that can now be found scattered along the Long Walk is vastly inferior. The man has no taste.

  Please note that on your tour we will not be visiting the Throne Room. My daughter, the Princess Jenna, has decided that she wishes the room to remain locked until the day she herself becomes Queen. This is out of respect to the memory of her mother, who was murdered in that very room, with the Princess Jenna herself only by chance escaping with her life.

  You may notice that most of the rooms are at present unoccupied. While in the past the Palace was a busy place full of servants, we are no longer in the fortunate position of being able to continue this due to the raiding of the royal coffers in the Bad Old Days. We do hope one day to be able to return the Palace to its previous glory, but this may take some time.

  But the Palace is not totally empty. My wife, myself and the Princess Jenna all live here, not forgetting our four-legged friend, Maxie, and Ethel, our duck. We also have two resident staff members—the cook and the housekeeper—and our volunteer door attendants all have rooms at their disposal here.

  We wish to extend a warm welcome to all and invite everyone to visit our beautiful Palace. Details and prices of tours are posted on the gates. The Palace is a place for all the people of the Castle. We hope you will stop by!

  Silas Heap

  N.B. If you wish to contribute to the Palace Restoration Fund, please use the box by the Palace Gate for your donation. No money is left overnight.

  A MIDWINTER FEAST GREETING

  Dear Friends,

  How quickly the time flies! Last MidWinter Feast was a little fraught and we apologize for not being in touch.

  I know you will all be thrilled to hear that our youngest son, Septimus, whom we thought dead, is alive! Silas is sending out a pamphlet telling you how this wonderful thing came to be, but you can all imagine how happy we are to have our little Septimus with us once more.

  Unfortunately, just before we were reunited, our Septimus was taken on as ExtraOrdinary Apprentice, and so he now lives at the Wizard Tower with Madam Marcia Overstrand. We do not see as much of him as we would like, but it is wonderful to know he is there. He is a very talented boy and excels at Magyk.

  You may have heard that our lovely daughter, Jenna, has turned out to be the Princess. We always knew she was special, but it is still amazing to think that the little bundle that Silas found in the snow the night the Queen was assassinated is the true Princess.

  All our boys are doing well, although Simon is having a little rebellion at the moment. He recently kidnapped Jenna and tried to kill Septimus, but we feel it was all a misunderstanding; he is a good boy, really. If you see him, please ask him to write his mother.

  Sam, Edd, Erik and Jo-Jo are in the Forest learning Forest skills and becoming independent young men. We are very proud of them and hope that they will take time out of their busy lives to visit soon.

  Nicko now has an Apprenticeship with Jannit Maarten at the renowned Castle Boatyard. We are told that he is a gifted boatbuilder and excelling at his Apprenticeship.

  Please note our new address. After twenty-five years in the Ramblings, the Heaps have picked up sticks and moved into the Palace. There are many empty rooms, so please come visit us.

  We hope your year has been as exciting as ours has been! We trust that next years’ Heap Update won ’t be nearly as full of adventure, but you never know. Since we left the Ramblings life has been full of surprises!


  With all good MidWinter wishes,

  Your friends,

  JENNA HEAP

  UNTIL SHE WAS TEN YEARS OLD, Jenna Heap thought she was the daughter of Sarah and Silas Heap. She lived with her six older brothers in a crowded, chaotic and happy room in the Ramblings. Jenna slept in a cupboard with its very own window that looked out over the river, which she loved.

  For ten years Jenna lived a happy and secure life with her adoptive family, never dreaming that on her tenth birthday everything would change. That was the day Marcia Overstrand, ExtraOrdinary Wizard, came knocking on the door and changed Jenna’s life forever. That was the day Jenna discovered that she was not a Heap but the Princess—and that there was an Assassin out to kill her.