Lover versus lover:
Let us consider few tips for the lovers to break up.
Ask your girl friend about her earlier affairs and vice versa.
Tell your lover that your ex was far better than him/ her.
Ask your boy friend to lend some money to repay a loan taken from your ex boyfriend on a similar circumstances with a condition of not repaying the same so long love affairs continue!!!!
Introduce your ex to your lover.
Call your lover's mother by name.
Tell your boy friend that his father is smarter than him.
Tell your boy friend that his brother also proposed her.
Regularly borrow money from your lover and never return.
Always go for dinner/ lunch with your lover and after dinner tell that you forget to carry purse to foot the bill.
Keep a roving eye on your lover's sister / brother who is better looking.
Teacher and Student:
A few tips for the students to become unpopular for a teacher:
Give a knick name for your teacher and let him/ her know about that through another teacher who has a rivalry with him/ her.
Bunk his / her class and let the other teacher who has no talking terms with this teacher.
You score a low marks and fight with the teacher saying that he/ she is against her and that is why marks have been deducted without proper justification.
Tell the son of a teacher that he / she does not know how to teach.
Complain about your teacher to the principal that she / he is given corporal punishment to you as you are upright in telling your teacher that he/ she does not know anything about teaching.
Spread the rumour that your teacher was once rusticated in her college days due to copying in one examination.
Propose to your English teacher who is beautiful and a spinster.
Sprinkle red ink on lady teacher's chair in her absence.
Put some sewing gums on the chair of your class teacher.
Give nick name of a teacher on the basis of his physical deformity.
A few tips for a teacher to become unpopular for the students are listed below.
Call students by fathers' names.
You beat those students whose fathers are not your friends.
Humiliate the student whose father is an enemy of yours or your boss.
Always pamper the student who is a son of the principal or your best friend or from your locality or from your same community and be rude to all others.
Recommend a non deserving student for a scholarship just because he / she is a ward of your close relative.
Always give less marks to all the students in practical those who did not go for a private tutoring house where you are also teaching unofficially.
Boss and Subordinates:
In an office no one is absolute boss nor absolute subordinate. If one is boss for some, he/ she is subordinate to another one.
Few tips to the officers/ officials to become enemy number one of their boss are submitted for kind consideration of all the officers/ officials as subordinates:
Disobey your boss and argue with him/ her on all his instructions/ suggestions. Further instigate your colleagues and subordinate to disobey him/her.
Ridicule his suggestions/ instruction in public.
Ignore him in front of his wife in a public place.
If your boss is a traditional person refer him/ her as old hack.
If your boss is young and has some soft corner for few subordinates of opposite sex due to their contribution to the office work, assassinate his/ her character before everyone so that your boss comes to know.
If you are a lady and you do not want to do any official work, threaten your all male bosses of filing a case of sexual harassment if anyone tries to force you to do some works. In an extreme case, sometimes, you file one or two. Then I am sure, you make a host of enemies for your life.
Suppose your boss is a workaholic one. You submit your leave application when he/ she is doing a time bound urgent work, not occasionally but on regular basis. Or you may send a sms to your boss telling that you are not coming to office whenever your boss told you on the previous day to come early for an urgent piece of work. Then slowly he/ she becomes an enemy of you.
Suppose your current boss is a lady and you are also a lady; but your expectation is same (you were taking lot of undue advantages from your earlier male boss) from the current boss. As soon as you put up your note/ draft very casually like you did earlier, initially your boss will try to make you understand to be careful in future. But to make her your enemy you ignore her friendly advices and you will be definitely successful in making her your enemy within a six months' period!
You telephone your boss in odd hours to tell him that you are not coming to office on the next day. Do this repeated for six months and gradually you will be successful in making your boss an enemy.
Now let us talk how a boss can be unpopular among his subordinates and for some enemy number one in due course of time.
Reject all leave applications irrespective of merit in the applications for few officials or en mass depending upon your intention to make everyone enemy or make only a few.
Tell your subordinates to improve the draft; but never tell them how to improve the drafts. However, you make draft yourself for someone you like. In no time you will be to make few enemies in the office.
Reject leave application of your subordinate as you will be on leave during that period on the same ground.
Let them work day and night for your foreign visits without even thanking them.
Give them a grade which is below bench mark for their promotions.
Deny all the facilities to the subordinates for which they are entitled and you take all the benefits.
Friend versus Friend:
I am listing some tips how you can turn a friend to foe.
You know that your friend had bunked the classes yesterday to enjoy an adult movie, but you telephoned to his father to ask him why your friend did not attend class yesterday. I bet you, you are likely to make one more enemy.
When you tell about bad habits of your friend to his girl friend, the friend has no alternative but to sever all friendly relations with you.
Similarly, if a friend discloses something confidential to you about his parent, with or without a bad intention, you have told everyone on the streets you are going to lose another friend forever.
Now let me suggest few more tips in short to cut short your list of friends.
Tell your friend's secret to his girl friend which will definitely vitiate their relation.
Try to influence his girl friend to sever her relation with your friend so that you can offer your shoulders to her for weeping.
As your friend is busy due to some urgent work, he requested you to drop his sister in her college. But instead of doing that you gave her a long drive and return his car after neat two hours. That may be the last occasion when both of you meet each other as friends.
Take his bike and leave the bike at the accident site after hitting someone on the road. Police registered a case against you as the owner of the bike.
Borrow his car to visit your girl friend who happened to be his ex girl friend, without telling him real reason for borrowing his car.
Finally, you are smiling to your friend with his (artificial) teeth!!!!!!
Individual versus individual:
Suppose you meet a father of an eligible daughter for marriage, when you are attending a marriage party, you may pose this question, 'How long you will take to arrange marriage party of your daughter?' or in a more insensitive way you may ask publicly, 'How long you will keep your earning daughter away from her marriage?' Or put another more piercing question to the father and I am sure you make a enemy forever.
Normally, a son of a powerful person marries a girl from other caste/ religion/ region, both son and his father are praised by all sycophants. But you want to be a h
ero and want to prove that you are not a sycophant of a powerful and criticise him like doing to a poor person. Definitely you make a powerful enemy for life.
The author is a Government servant and a man of vivid experiences derived from his official postings across the country, travels across India and numerous visits outside India. He is presently placed at New Delhi. The book is about a humorous analogy of human relations.
His earlier publications are:
1. Random Thoughts through a Coloured Prism
2. Dilemma of a Young Mind
3. Funny Statistics and Serious Statisticians
4. Melody of Fragrance
5. Akhadya
6. Few Cities through Lens of Hiranya Borah
7. Guilt: Gift of Winter Spring
8. Beautiful Ghost
9. Great Fighters: Grace of God
10. All Blurred
11. Putting Kids to Sleep
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