*
Silly Verse.
3. TACMAP
(In response to a challenge to write about a coffee machine, an ant and a purse.)
Lord Chief Justice Ant, in foppish wig and flowing gown,
Peered grimly on the rivals with his infamous, hanging frown.
Truth to tell he did not care which one hung from a rope;
As for justice, that’s a laugh, it’s the law with which he’d cope.
In haste the accusing purse declaimed, “I haven’t got a bean
Because all my loot’s been stolen by this odious, coffee machine!
And did he even percolate, as drinks dispensers must?
We got, my Lord, warmed water, plus dried up, pale brown, dust!
Impoverished am I, and quite bereft of money and caffeine,
Essential elements of life, denied by that machine!”
A murder charge, that was clear, for without life we’re dead,
That drinks dispenser was in the dock and soon could lose his head.
“Defend yourself,” Judge Ant sneered, “If you’ve got the mettle.”
The steel, glass, plastic, coffee machine was stung as by a nettle.
“I’m not the great designer, God; don’t think I lack a dream,
I’d much rather be a rocket than a grubby income stream,
And search the distant cosmos, make friends with nebulae,
Returning as a conqueror, applauded till I die.
I’ve done what I was made for, no less and never more,
And if that is not enough for you I care not for the law.”
Lord Justice Ant was unimpressed, “I deal in facts, not wishes,
Your role was clear, as is my mind, first causes are for fishes.
Now Mrs Purse had given coin, her needs were then abused,
She didn’t get her caffeine fix so you’re guilty, as accused!”
Replacing wig with blackish cap, the rivals guessed what next,
And gazed at him quite thunder struck whilst fingering their necks.
Backed by law a judge’s acts, are as defined, quite lawful,
But do not heed those higher thoughts which label killing awful.
The rivals came together; “You must not hang for me,”
Said Mrs Purse, “I’m horrified.” The reply was, “I agree!”
“My lord,” they said in unison, “Of us your hands don’t wash.”
With nil compassion Judge Ant replied, “My verdict I won’t squash.”
Each occupation carries risks, for me, for you, for judges,
In his own court that legal ant became two messy smudges.
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