Chapter Nine – Uncovered
But she had not gone far. She was poised in the middle of the adjacent room when she heard Conley’s voice. Whatever miserable explanation the boys offered Conley, she didn't hear. There was nothing audible until a fierce command from Conley ordered them all out. She did not want to be left alone in the derelict attic, so she followed through the maze, always a room behind the others. She was silent; they were a subdued procession. She stopped in the penultimate room, her back to the wall, behind the door, listening as they left through the cupboard door. Through the crack in the door frame, she saw Conley leave last.
She was expecting him to pull the door shut. That was how it had been when she and Connel had arrived. But Conley first shut the door, then turned a key. Lennox heard a click, and buried her face in her hands as she listened to their footsteps fade.
She was left with nothing but the darkness all around her. She tried the door once, pointlessly. It simply rattled in its frame. It would not open. She was trapped. There was nothing to do but wait as the cold, night air fingered her exposed back. Her only hope was that Connel would come back for her. She had no idea how long she sat in the darkness. It could have been 10 minutes, or an hour. She studied the shifting shades of darkness around her, prickling when the wooden rafters groaned, until she picked out a new sound. The subtle tread of footsteps on the stairs; her heart burned like quicksilver.
She heard the lock click again, and saw a seam of light appear as the door swung slowly open and someone walked in. But it was not Connel. For the figure was too tall, too broad of shoulder. At first she had no idea who it was. She saw the shape of a man, and thought of Conley, or Kearns, with dread. But when the man walked towards her and looked her in the eye, she knew who had come for her.
'Fool,' Kellas whispered, in a voice that was awash with anger. 'I warned you.'
Then, like a flame sparked, her fear was gone and her courage was back; coursing through her, making her rise up, stand tall, stand straight.
'No, you didn't!' she fired back. 'You warned a girl, but you didn't warn me!'
Suddenly the darkness was a welcome cloak. The attic their own private world. Here she did not need to hide her thoughts or feelings. Here she did not cower, speechless, overawed. Here it was just the two of them, face to face, their eyes flickering like flames, and their bodies close enough for her to feel him, though they did not touch.
'Whatever else you are, you are also a girl,' he told her, his voice so low it was a growl. 'And I was trying to protect you. I warned you. I knew they would use this opportunity. You have to be smarter than this. You have to look after yourself.'
'I am and I have!' she exclaimed, trembling, whether from anger or excitement she did not know. 'I was not caught like the others. Conley knows nothing. I escaped. I have been smart.'
'If you think that, you’re an even greater fool.' He spoke with such cold and brutal confidence, she felt her sudden courage die, her emotions plummet. 'Conley knows everything. How else do you think I knew you were here?'
'Connel,' she whispered.
'No. Conley told me to come and get you.’
She shook her head in disbelief. She had been out of the room when Conley arrived. She had been careful, so careful, as she followed them back. She had made sure no one had known or seen her. And Conley had locked the door! Why would he have locked it, if he had known she was inside. It made no sense.
'But why? He locked the door on me. Why would he do that?'
'He’s teaching you a lesson, I guess. He just told me you were locked up here and I had to get you out. And that you had to be more careful.'
Lennox scowled. She could not fathom Torkil's motives. Why not punish her with the others?
'Come,' Kellas said, a little more gently. 'We must go. You first.'
She hesitated, unwilling to walk before him.
'Come,' he urged again.
When still she balked, he gestured towards the door. 'I have to lock the door after you.'
So she left the darkness of the attic, conscious, in the half light of the stairway, that she was now exposed. She wrapped her arms round her waist as she walked, trying to tuck her shredded top close to her skin. But there was no hiding the mess they had made of her top, or what had been uncovered.
She could hear Kellas behind her, his steps mirroring hers, as he followed her out. She felt his gaze upon her back. This was the final humiliation.
'So it is true,' he murmured, inches from her back.
He did not turn to shut and lock the attic door as he had said he would. Instead, her heart burned as she felt the lightest of touches on her back.
'What are you doing?' she cried, shrinking away.
'I need to … ' To her surprise, his voice broke. ‘…to see it.'
His fingertips brushed against her skin as he laid a hand on her ripped top.
'Can I?'
This time she did not move away. She could not say yes, but neither could she deny his touch, so faint, and sweet, upon her deepest shame.
Gently, he lifted the edges of her top and pulled them to the sides. He studied the smooth curve of her waist on either side, and, in the middle, the raised, darkened and deformed skin that covered her spine, and her shoulder blades, right up to her neck, and down to her lower back.
They stood in silence while tears fell on Lennox's cheeks and Kellas said nothing but looked. Then he reached for her edges of her top and pulled them together and tucked them into her leggings, so her back was covered.
She stood, eyes down cast, motionless. He walked slowly round to face her. When she gathered the courage to look at him, he was waiting for her. His face silver in the moonlight, his eyes dark hollows.
'Did the others see this?' he asked.
'No!' she gasped. But it was a lie, and she knew it was a lie. Gram had seen something. Maybe not everything, but enough.
'You must keep it hidden,' he told her.
She nodded. She knew that already. That was what the look of disgust on her father's face had told many years ago. She had been keeping it hidden all her life. And she wished more than anything she could have kept it hidden from Kellas.
'No one at this school must see this.'
His words scorched, like burning brands. She could not bear to hear anymore.
'Yes! I know!'
'Because this school is different,' Kellas continued, as if she had not spoken. 'On the placard in the Great Hall it announces our school motto: Survival of the Fittest and we are taught to value strength, courage, and determination above all else. But there is another side to survival, another way of thinking, a machiavellian way. There are here people who despise weakness more than they value courage and determination, and will attack those they perceive as weak, to prove their own strength.'
But Lennox could not listen anymore. She could not look him in the eye. She could think only of what he had seen, and what he had touched. What use was it to have a face like hers that caught men's gaze as a lantern attracted moths, if her clothes concealed a terrible, ugly truth? She stumbled down the stairs away from Kellas unable to stop tears falling, desperate to get away before her sobs began in earnest. Kellas would never look at her again, without remembering her back. Her feeble hopes towards him were all ruined.