“I was hoping Lucky was at The Last Riders’ clubhouse.”

  “He’s not. I got to go. Stud’s on the other line.” The phone went dead.

  She waited several minutes before calling Stud back, wanting to give him time to talk to Shade. She took the opportunity to lower her blinds.

  When she called Stud back and he answered, she could hear a commotion going on in the background.

  “What’s going on?” she yelled when Stud’s voice didn’t come over the line.

  “It was Bear.”

  She sat down on the couch, setting the gun down next to her. “Did he say where Calder and Lucky are?”

  Crazy Bitch started crying. She had loved Bear like a brother. Many times, he had spent the night on her couch. She had even cried on his shoulder when she had broken up with Joker.

  “Not yet. But he will. I’ll call you back when I find something out.”

  She remained on the couch, holding her phone in one hand and her gun in the other.

  Calder had wanted her to download an app so she would know where he was all the time, and vice versa, but she had told him no. She hadn’t wanted him tracking her movements while she was an informant. She had made a lame excuse, and they hadn’t done it.

  Crazy Bitch cried harder. She couldn’t live without him. Going through the same monotonous existence would drive her crazy for real.

  Calder was so gentle. Even when he spanked her, it was like being swatted by a three-year-old. When she had shaved a rat on his head, he had never said anything to her. Even when she had pulverized his dick, he hadn’t broken up with her. A man like that would be impossible to replace.

  When a knock sounded on the door, she ran toward it, looking through the peephole. She opened it when she saw it was Killyama and Train.

  “Jonas and Hammer aren’t with you?” she asked, locking the door when they came inside.

  “They’re watching the parking lot.”

  “Stud said it was Bear who must have done something to Lucky and—”

  “Sit down, Crazy Bitch.”

  She had been friends with Killyama a long time, long enough to know she wasn’t going to like what the woman was about to say.

  “You found Calder?”

  “Not yet, but Stud found Lucky.”

  She shakily sat down on the couch. “Is he alive?” She had grown to like the man since she had begun working with him.

  “Barely. Bear slit his throat and stabbed him several times before throwing him down the ravine behind the clubhouse. They don’t know if he’s going to make it.”

  Crazy Bitch buried her face in her hands, crying. “This is my fault. If I had just minded my own business, he would have never come out of retirement,” she sobbed. “He just had a baby. If he dies, his son will be fatherless because of me. I tried to help because I wanted to find out who kept supplying my mother with pills. It was never worth getting Lucky and Calder killed.”

  “Lucky isn’t dead yet, and neither is Calder.” Train took a seat next to her. “And as far as it being worth Lucky’s life, he knew the cost of what he was doing. He always has. He doesn’t know how to turn a blind eye to what goes on around him, and he admired you for risking your life.”

  “He told you?” She lowered her hands at his words.

  “Yes. He told me and Killyama. He would have never let you do something dangerous without having you watched. Calder was watched, too. We can’t understand how he was taken. I was the one watching him. The last time I saw him, he was going to the bathroom in the shelter. I didn’t want to make it obvious I was following him. He didn’t come back outside, and I couldn’t find him. His bike was still where he parked it in the parking lot of the shelter.”

  “That’s the parking lot that Shade said you were pulling out of. I assumed it was The Last Riders’.”

  “No. On the way to your apartment, we got a call from Stud that he found Lucky.”

  “Bear hurt Lucky because he must have known Lucky was going to tell Stud what was going to happen in the morning. But why Calder? It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t even know what I’ve been doing. He would have been in danger if anyone found out I supplied the information for the arrests. But no one has been arrested yet. No one has been burned yet. Could it have been someone on the task force?”

  “We’re checking them out, but we don’t think so. Those agents are highly screened. Not only that, but I know most of them, and I don’t think anyone would have taken the chance of ruining their career for a small-town bust. None of those the task force were going to arrest are traffickers. Most of them want their own fix. What little they have left isn’t enough to kill a man for.”

  “Have you eaten? You want me to cook you something?” Killyama offered.

  “No, I couldn’t eat.” She rubbed her arms. “Something happened to him. I feel it.” Crazy Bitch bit her lip, trying to hold back her tears.

  Killyama sat down on the coffee table in front of her. “Sex Piston called me. Stud won’t let her leave the house, though she wants to be here with you. She said, as soon as she can, she’ll be here.”

  Crazy Bitch nodded, her mind on Calder, going back to when she left him at the building site.

  “I didn’t even say goodbye. I told Sex Piston to tell him I was going home. I’m trying to remember if I told him I loved him this morning when we woke up, and I can’t.”

  “I’m sure you did.” Killyama took her cold hand in hers.

  Whatever had happened to Calder was bad, so bad she could practically feel him calling for her.

  The night was endless as she intermittently walked around her apartment. She found the shirt he had worn last night and took hers off, putting his on, and then changing her leggings to faded jeans.

  Going back into the living room, she saw that Train had made coffee. Pouring herself a cup, she sat at the counter, staring at her phone, waiting for it to ring.

  “You want to go rest? I’ll wake you if we hear anything.” Killyama came to stand at the counter next to Train.

  “No. I don’t want to sleep. I don’t want to sleep knowing he could be hurt. I don’t want to be asleep and wake up to you telling me he’s dead.” She choked back her tears. “Calder, Stud, and Sex Piston were going to tell Star she was his daughter tonight. Did you know?”

  “I suspected. She looks like Calder.”

  “Yes, she does. She has his personality, too.” A sob escaped her. She put her hand up, smothering it. “I love him… so much. You know, it surprised me how much I love him. I didn’t expect to.”

  “I know you do. Calder knows, too.”

  “I hope so. I was just kidding with those pictures of Rider and Moon to make him jealous. I like it when he spanks me. No one’s ever spanked me before. No one cared enough. My mom didn’t care, none of my foster parents, none of the men.”

  “If you needed a spanking to know I love you, all you had to do was ask.”

  Killyama’s teasing made Crazy Bitch laugh, causing a chain reaction that had Killyama coming around the counter to hold her as she cried into her shoulder.

  “We’ll find Calder. We’ll find him.”

  34

  It was the waiting that was the hardest. The first night of Calder’s disappearance was hard. The second was pure hell. Hope waned away hour by hour until there was only a flickering light remaining by the end of the second night.

  Crazy Bitch stared down at her notebook through blurry eyes. She had fallen asleep at the counter for four hours during the day, but had woken up when Train’s phone had rung. It hadn’t been news about Calder. It had been about Lucky. He had survived the night and was in critical but stable condition, and the doctor thought he would make it.

  Crazy Bitch thought of a name and added it to her list.

  “Whose name did you add?” Sex Piston asked. She had come over that morning after taking the kids to school, telling Stud they would be safe there and could go to her parents’ house when school was released. She had blun
tly told her husband that she was staying with Crazy Bitch until Calder was found.

  “I added Harmon Myers. I remembered he was standing next to Mrs. Carpenter.” Crazy Bitch used an ink pen to point at the name. She had come up with the idea to make a list of all the people who had attended the groundbreaking. One of them had to have been the person who had taken Calder.

  “Did you put Devon on the list? I saw him there,” Fat Louise said.

  “I don’t think a seventy-year-old man is capable of carrying Calder to his car.” T.A. gave her an annoyed look.

  “I didn’t think he did, but maybe he saw someone go into the shelter with Calder. I saw him standing by the ice chest. He was refilling it.”

  “I’ll write it down. Shade said to write down everything we saw and make a note of everyone we knew. I sent most of the list last night. Right now, I’m trying to figure out if we forgot anyone.” She slid down off the stool. “You guys go over it and see if we left anyone out.” Stretching, she tried to work the kinks out of her back. She wanted another of cup of coffee, but she was out and Hammer wasn’t back from the store yet.

  “I didn’t put Devon on the list. I didn’t see his car. Put him on the list for me, Fat Louise.”

  “He probably drove his mother’s car. It was parked next to mine,” Sex Piston said, writing his name down.

  “No, he didn’t. He parked on the side of the shelter. That’s where the ice chest was. He volunteered to bring the water,” Fat Louise explained.

  “I volunteered to bring the water. How did Devon end up bringing it?”

  “Mrs. Carpenter called me at work and said Devon was at the store and wanted to help, so she gave him that job. She was on the committee, so I didn’t think anything of it.”

  “Why does it matter who brought the water?” T.A. sat down on the couch, pulling a cushion by her side to protect herself from Manson scratching her.

  “I don’t know, but I want to know why he decided to bring the water. I’ve cut his hair for years. He’s never given me a dime tip, yet suddenly he volunteered to buy bottled water for fifty people?” Crazy Bitch twisted her hair into a knot, going into the kitchen where she kept a hair clip for when she was cooking. She was continuously thinking about Calder’s disappearance.

  “Call him. I have his mother’s phone number.” Sex Piston picked up her phone, scrolling through her numbers.

  “Give me his name and address. I’ll call Shade and get him to check it out.” Train took out his phone to type down the number.

  “Can someone else do it instead, so Shade can come here?”

  “Why?”

  “I want to talk to him. How far is he?”

  “Not far. He’s talking to some members of the task force. I can ask him to come here when he can.”

  “Do it.” Crazy Bitch went to the kitchen counter, taking her notebook away from Sex Piston.

  “Did you think of another name?” Sex Piston slid her pencil toward her as she stared down at the names.

  She listened to Train talking to Shade, waiting until he finished to reply.

  “No. What did Shade say?”

  “He’s on his way.”

  Something about the list was bothering her, but she couldn’t understand what it was.

  “Shade is sending Rider to talk to Devon.” Train moved to stand behind Killyama, rubbing her back as she sat at the counter.

  “When he’s done there, have him go to talk to his mother. She’s blind as a bat, but she’s a busybody. Maybe she saw something.”

  “Okay.”

  A sharp knock sounded on the door. When Train opened the door, Hammer came in, carrying grocery bags.

  As one of Killyama’s bounty hunter partners, Crazy Bitch had met Hammer several times. She had even thought of doing him a couple of times, but he had backed off after she had tested him with some of her wisecracks.

  Calder hadn’t backed down. He had kept coming back for more. He had more courage than most men she knew. No man had ever found her sweet spot, and she wasn’t talking about the one in her pussy. He had found that inner sanctuary within her that had never been found by anyone before.

  It had kept her safe as she had grown up and realized her mother wasn’t like other moms. It had kept her safe when she realized her father had a daughter the same age as her. It had kept her safe through numerous foster homes, Joker, so many men she had lost count, and her mother’s death. None had found that sweet spot where she could actually be her, not the bitch she portrayed to everyone else. Just her, a not-so-pretty, lame geek who didn’t have to lose her temper when she was hurt and strike out at whomever had dealt that hurt.

  The smell of fresh coffee brewing was in the air when another knock sounded in the room.

  Shade came in as Train opened the door.

  Crazy Bitch came around the counter, seeing Shade didn’t even look tired as he pushed his sunglasses to his hair.

  “I’m glad someone’s getting sleep,” she said angrily, needing someone to strike out at to alleviate the rage of not being able to find Calder.

  “I haven’t slept since the night before Calder disappeared.” He didn’t seem to be upset by her attitude. She even wondered if he was capable of emotions, unless Lily was concerned.

  “I’m sorry. You look like you just got of bed.”

  “I can go days without sleep.” He shrugged.

  “Have you found anything else about Calder?”

  “No. From the moment he went into the shelter, no one has seen him. It’s like he dropped off the face of the earth.”

  Her shoulders slumped in weariness. Discouraged, she wanted—needed—to find something to do to keep her from losing what sanity she had left.

  “Can I have some of that coffee?” Shade asked Train as he made himself a cup.

  Turning back to her, he stoically stated what had been going on since Calder hadn’t come home. “The drug task force took Bear into custody last night. Stud handed what was left of him over when they found Lucky. The Last Riders had already been worried because he didn’t show up to pick up the baby after work. We assumed the last place he was, was the groundbreaking ceremony, so we went there and found his and Calder’s bikes. That’s about the time you called. Then Stud called and said he found Lucky in the ravine outside the club. If Stud hadn’t convinced Bear to tell him where he was, his luck would have run out. The doctor said he had minutes to live.”

  “How did Stud know Bear was involved?” Crazy Bitch shook her head when Train offered her coffee, too disgusted with what Bear had done. She didn’t want to burn anyone if she slung it against a wall.

  “Stud gathered all the brothers in the room and told them that Lucky was missing and that someone planted the drugs in your car the night of your arrest. Dozer remembered seeing Bear near her car when he pulled into the parking lot from work. Ginger said that Bear was the only one in the clubhouse when she left to go to the liquor store. The brothers had him confessing that he didn’t know Lucky was there and that he came in the back door when he was talking on the phone with Sam. Lucky must have heard and tried to leave, but Bear heard him leaving—”

  “A chime sounds in the bar when the door is opened and closed,” Crazy Bitch said. “It’s not very loud. It’s from when the club used to be a restaurant. It’s old as fuck. Most of the time, we ignore it. He must have come in when Bear was talking and he didn’t hear Lucky come in then heard him leaving after he hung up.”

  “Bear caught him in the parking lot. When he heard the brothers parking in the front, he threw him down the ravine. He thought he was dead.”

  “Where’s he now?”

  “Nowhere you can get to him anytime soon.” Shade set his coffee down on the counter. “He’s sitting on ice, with Sam in the next cell. He was found where Bear said he would be—in a small apartment that Bear had rented so he and Sam could stockpile their products and meet where no one could see they were connected. That’s why Stud, Calder, and the task force couldn’t find him.
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  “None of the prescriptions that Sam forged were in Bear’s name. They used aliases or used patients’ names of the doctor he worked for. Sam worked part-time for another doctor. He and Bear had been raking in the cash until you made waves. That’s why they decided to frame you and take you out of the picture. The deputy who stopped you was one of their best clients. Instead of issuing summons, he was a delivery service to their buyers.

  “And the sheriff, he was in on it, too. The problem is, when you stack the deck, one misplaced card can topple the rest of the cards down around you. You were the wild card. You sent them all crashing down. The sheriff and two deputies have been removed from duty.”

  “So where is Calder? Let me see Bear. I’ll convince him to tell me—”

  Shade shook his head. “Both Sam and Bear say they don’t know where Calder is. Bear said he only attacked Lucky because he heard him talking to Sam. He said he had no reason to hurt Calder because neither of them knew about his involvement. I believe him.”

  “What about Sam?”

  “Sam said the only one he wanted to kill was you.”

  “He could have done something to Calder to get back at me.”

  “He passed a lie detector test.”

  She went into her living room to sit down on a chair, burying her face in her hands. “So, the only lead we have is a seventy-year-old man and his ninety-one-year-old mother?”

  “That about sums it up.” Shade placed his hands on the back of the couch, where T.A. and Fat Louis were sitting, jerking his hands back when Manson swatted at him. “Have you given any thought to the fact that maybe he wanted to disappear?”

  She raised her head. “Did you give any thought where Lucky was concerned, or is Calder the exception?” Crazy Bitch said sarcastically.

  “We have to look at all the options.” He coldly brought up Calder’s past. “It wouldn’t be the first—”

  She stood up, pointing toward the door. “Get the fuck out. Now.”

  He didn’t react to her demand. “I’m not saying I believe it. I asked if you had thought about it.”

  “No, I didn’t think about it,” she snapped. “I tend to give the people I love the benefit of the doubt. That’s where The Last Riders and the Destructors differ. We’re loyal to those we love, while The Last Riders don’t know what love is.”