Chapter 8: The God of Men
Fotio found much of the following day difficult. The herd had run through the morning before coming to a stop in the early afternoon on the banks of a wide river.
'Prepare yourselves, brothers and sisters,' Alogo had said, 'for tonight we assault the enemy's stronghold.' The other centaurs greeted the news with a cheer. He then came to where the two men were sitting on their packs and eating honey cakes for lunch. 'The enemy's camp lies on the banks of this river to the south. You have several hours to rest and prepare yourselves while we plan the assault on the gate. I will come for you an hour before dusk.'
Akakion promptly announced he was going to have a nap, which left the young thief-cum-prophet with no one to talk to and nothing to do but dwell upon his lot in life. He had tried writing in his notebook, but the words would not come. He had tried following Akakion's lead and having a sleep, but his eyes had refused to close and his mind kept running through all that had happened and all that could happen. In the end, he had found a secluded spot away from the herd and sat down to watch the water bubbling and gurgling along its pre-determined path.
Akakion came to find him when the sun was low on the horizon. 'It is time, prophet,' the priest said and handed him a dark, hooded cloak. 'Put this on. It will help keep us hidden in the dark.'
Fotio draped the cloak over his armor with some relief. It would be good to bring this mission to an end, for good or for ill. He could barely remember his life before he had dreamed about stealing a treasure from the Gods. It felt so long ago and somehow alien, as if it were a memory of a life that had been lived by someone else, and that he had merely been a witness to its unfolding. He wrapped the cloak tightly around himself and followed Akakion to where the assembled herd was waiting.
(ii)
The run through the fading evening was surreal because the hooves of the centaurs barely made a sound.
'Centaurs can move lightly over the ground,' Alogo explained. 'We are spirits of the earth and that is its gift to us.'
'My mother is an earth spirit,' Fotio said.
'And your father?'
'I've never met him. I thought he was dead, but my aunty told me he is an immortal and still lives. She said it was dangerous for me to meet him because, because...' Fotio lapsed into silence.
'Because?'
'I don't really know. I would be in danger if people knew I was his son. It sounds a bit silly now that I come to think about it.'
'Do you wish to meet him?'
Fotio shrugged. 'I should but, to be honest, I'm indifferent. It was a shock when I first found out and I felt angry and confused, but the feeling has faded. It's kind of strange, but I simply don't care. Maybe it would be different if I could remember him, but he "died" before I was born so I've never known a father. It's always been just Mom and me, which suits me just fine.'
The trip along the riverbank was not a long one and the herd soon came to a halt on a clear stretch of land in the forest. Beyond the trees to the south, Fotio could see the rising smoke of campfires in the waning light of evening. It would be dark soon.
Leaving the herd to prepare for battle, Alogo and Epitaxi carried the two men into the bush to the southeast and dropped them within sight of the enemy's camp. Fotio's heart was racing with excitement. He'd always thought he would be afraid when the moment finally came, but he felt surprisingly calm. Of course, that could be because he didn't quite believe that he and Akakion were about to sneak into a camp stuffed to the brim with soldiers in order to destroy a powerful artifact that was probably being guarded by a Mad God. It's the sort of thing that falls outside everyday experience.
'We will attack when the sun goes down. Wait a few minutes for us to get their attention before trying to get in. The staff is to the south west of here. Good luck,' Alogo said and turned to go.
'How will we know you've started your attack?' Fotio asked, fighting to stamp down on a rising tide of anxiety.
Alogo smirked. 'You'll know,' he said, and he and Epitaxi disappeared into the bush.
Akakion, after casting around for a likely spot, sat down with his back against a tree.
Fotio tried hard not to throw up. 'How can you just sit there?'
Akakion shrugged. 'It will be at least half an hour before the sun sets. There is nothing to do until then except keep out of sight.'
Fotio vomited.
Akakion passed him a water bottle. 'Don't feel bad,' he said. 'The waiting is always the hardest part.'
'What about the dying?'
'Yes, well, I've never actually experienced that but I imagine that would be pretty bad. Maybe even worse than the waiting.'
'This is not a time to tell jokes!'
'No, it's a time to keep quiet and stay out of sight.'
Fotio took the hint and sat down beside the priest, then offered to return the bottle.
'That's okay. You keep it.'
What followed was the longest half hour in Fotio's life. The sun refused to fall below the horizon and, had anyone asked him, Fotio would have told them that he could feel the grass growing under his backside. But time did pass, and darkness slowly stole over the forest. Eventually the only light from the west came from the enemy's camp.
The sudden screams almost loosened Fotio's bowels.
'They're deadly with those bows,' Akakion said, and got to his feet. 'Come on.' He led them towards the line of darkness that was the camp wall, moving like a shadow in the forest, a silent patch of black that barely disturbed the air as it passed. Fotio tried to emulate his quiet passage but failed. He felt that the only way he could be more conspicuous would be to bang a drum while he walked.
When they reached the wall, Akakion drew the short sword Queen Filia had given him in Enorganon and started hacking at the timber, but with only limited success. The blade was sharp, but the timber was green and heavy and gripped the blade. 'This may take a while.'
Fotio, once again trying to emulate the actions of the priest, drew his own short sword and, with barely a grunt of effort, pushed it right through the wall. Akakion was impressed. 'Can you cut a hole in the wall?' he whispered.
Fotio nodded and cut a line through two of the huge logs, about a foot long and parallel to the ground. He then pulled the blade free and, with a remarkable show of strength, pulled both logs out of the ground.
'You're not just a pretty face, are you?' the priest whispered, then squeezed through the gap. Fotio shrugged and followed, his pale face shining out from beneath the hood of the robe.
Dozens of campfires were scattered between the rows of tents and they filled the camp with a weird flickering light. To the south west, they could see a tall building looming out of the darkness.
'Follow me,' Akakion said, and crept into a lane of darkness between two rows of tents. Fotio followed, but with a growing sense of unease.
'Where is everybody?' he asked, after they'd snuck along for a few minutes.
'Fighting centaurs.'
'What, everybody? There are hundreds of tents here, each big enough to hold many soldiers. You'd think one or two would have stayed behind.'
'Now that you mention it,' Akakion said, looking around.
'This is a trap,' Fotio said. 'He knows we're here.'
'Don't be stupid, if he knew we were here there'd be soldiers everywhere.'
Fotio looked around and reached a decision. He threw off his cloak and strode into the light. 'Come on. Let's end this.'
Akakion watched him go, first in shock, and then in resignation. He sighed deeply, threw off his own cloak and set off after the young prophet. Fotio did not walk, he strode. As he advanced along the rows of tents, enemy soldiers emerged and stood by their tents, or warmed themselves by the fires. None intercepted him.
As he and Fotio passed, Akakion noticed that the soldiers close ranks behind them. There was no turning back now. Not without major bloodshed, anyway. He looked at Fotio in his gleaming bronze armor with his mace and shield at th
e ready and the sudden realization came as a shock. This was no young thief striding along in front of him. The man he followed wasn't the same as the one who had vomited on the perimeter of the camp. There was an aura about him now, a presence.
Akakion, who had often secretly despaired at Fotio's softness, saw a completely different man walking ahead of him. A man whose birth caused such a splash in the world that an oracle, already dead for hundreds of years, had seen his coming. If Fotio decided to turn around and leave right now, the soldiers could do nothing to stop him. Any mortal man getting in the prophet's way here and now would die - quickly and in vain.
They did not take long to reach their destination, which wasn't quite what Akakion had expected and found a little disappointing. The building that housed the most powerful artifact given by a God to men was entirely unremarkable, which simply wasn't right to his way of thinking. If one travels hundreds of miles and overcomes all sorts of dangers to reach a destination, then he was of the opinion that the destination should at least look like it was worth reaching. In his mind's eye, he had pictured a magnificent fortress decorated with carvings of the Mad God's triumphs and watched over by fierce, keen-eyed guards. The reality was somewhat less dramatic.
Despite being quite tall, the Mad God's 'fortress' looked like it was squatting on the earth, probably because the bowed timbers that made up its lower level bulged outwards. There were no keen-eyed guards, fierce or otherwise. Just a skinny old man in a grubby toga, holding a stick and standing in front of an open door.
'You are the Prophet Fotio and the false priest Akakion?' the old man asked.
Fotio looked the old man up and down. 'That is who we are old man. Stand aside and let us enter.'
'I am Tiflos, high priest of Monos and I guard the entrance to the One God's fortress. He came to me in a dream last night and told me to offer you forgiveness, even if you do not renounce the false Gods that have for so long plagued the land of His birth. He also told me to warn you against entering this temple, for he waits inside and no mortal man can hope to look upon his face and not be changed.'
Akakion, who had taken offense at being called a false priest, brought his spear around into a more prominent position. He didn't actually point it at Tiflos, he merely repositioned it so that the old man could see that he also had a stick, and it was sharp. 'You call that a threat?' he said. 'We have come to smash the staff that protects this army of heathens from the divine will of The Twelve. Throw it down and renounce the Mad God or you will spend eternity writhing in pain, as if hot lead ran through your veins and ants were eating your flesh.' He looked smug. 'Now that's a threat.'
The old man smiled a sad smile. 'Many fear the threat of change far more than mere pain.'
Akakion made a sound that communicated, quite eloquently, what he thought of that little piece of wisdom.
'The staff we seek is inside,' Fotio said. He squared his shoulders and walked through the open door. The old man made no move to stop him.
Akakion, acutely aware that he was now alone with hundreds, if not thousands, of enemy soldiers all of whom had sharp sticks, squared his shoulders and followed, but not before casting a sneering look towards the High Priest of Monos. 'You call that a ceremonial robe?'
(iii)
The building was somewhat better appointed inside than out. There were strange totems and carvings hanging from the walls, and the single massive room was bright with light, despite there being no fire. It was as if the very air glowed. There was a raised platform at its center, and a large, well-built man stood upon it. He was wearing black leather armor and holding an ornate staff. Behind him, a young woman was slumped against a post. There were chains on her hands and she was obviously unconscious.
'Geneka!' Fotio exclaimed.
'I heard you were coming so I thought we'd have a party,' the man said, and nodded at the girl. 'I was almost insulted when a daughter of the Gods dropped into my camp and didn't pay her respects.'
Fotio, never one to bandy words when there were skulls to crack, hurled his mace but the big man lifted a hand and swatted it away as if it were a fly.
'You can't kill me, prophet. I am Monos, God of Men. Repent now and I will spare you from my fury. My quarrel is with the so-called Gods of Helvenica, not its people, nor it's prophets. I was one myself, you know.'
Fotio lifted his hand and the mace flew to him from where it had fallen. 'You're not Monos. We've seen Monos and he's a short, plump little fellow.'
'You're eyes deceived you or possibly your mind is too soft to perceive the truth. I am Monos, God of Men and destroyer of Gods, and I have always looked like this.'
Fotio saw Akakion mumble a prayer and begin to grow.
'Ah, the Keeper,' Monos said. He tilted his staff in Akakion's direction and a bolt of lightning knocked the priest off his feet.
Fotio picked that moment to charge. He leapt forward and brought his shield around to block Monos's staff as it swung in a wide arc. There was a clang of wood on metal and the force of the Mad God's blow ripped the shield from Fotio's arm and threw him, tumbling, back towards the door.
Monos laughed a maniacal laugh and mumbled a few syllables under his breath. An invisible force picked up Akakion and pinned him to the wall.
'Oh come on,' Fotio said as he picked himself up. 'Manic laughter as well as black leather armor? You're a walking cliché. Now, give us the staff and march your army out of here or there will be trouble.'
The Mad God looked perplexed for a moment. 'You're joking, right?' His face lit up as realization dawned. 'You're not, are you? You're just dim!' He flexed his fingers and a searing line of fire shot out and engulfed the young thief. When the air cleared, Fotio stood completely unharmed.
'Impressive,' Monos said. 'You have power to burn, prophet. Why do you waste your energies with fading Gods?'
'Because they need me,' Fotio said, and charged again. This time, his mace caught the Mad God in the chest and knocked him off his platform. He spun to plant a killing blow only to find Monos standing beside him and smiling.
'Come now, Fotio, I'm a God. You can't dispatch me with a lump of metal on a stick.' He swung his staff and struck Fotio a blow to the side of the head that rattled his teeth and sent him rolling to the other side of the room.
'Helvenica is being held back by the fools that call themselves her Gods,' Monos said, suddenly appearing beside Fotio again. 'I'm going to drive out their corrupting influence so that the land of my birth can reach its true potential. I was once like you, young Fotio. I thought I could help. I tried everything in my power to help. I even became Emperor in the vain hope that I could build a bridge between the people and their Gods. And do you know how they repaid me? With treachery, that's how. They tried to kill me simply because I wouldn't let them do as they wished, because I'd defied them and somehow diminished them in the eyes of their worshipers.'
'You're mad!' Fotio screamed, and sprung to his feet, his mace arcing through the air. To a mortal man, the blow would have meant death. It would have sent an immortal back to the Mountain. It smashed into Monos's skull and the momentum picked the God up and flung him against the wall beside Akakion.
'The staff,' Akakion said, his voice faint because of the pressure against his chest. 'Smash the staff!'
Fotio stumbled towards Monos, but the God rose to his feet and struck Fotio in the stomach, then sent him flying through the air with a blow to the side of the head.
'Join me and together we can rid Helvenica of the blight that has held her people back,' Monos urged. 'We don't need the old Gods. Look at your friend the priest. He has powers that the Gods claim originate with them, but he suspects otherwise, don't you Akakion? No other priest has such power. You tell yourself it comes with the office, but deep down you know that's not true. The Gods have nothing to do with it. The power comes from you and you alone.'
'Helvenica and her Gods are one and the same,' Fotio said, struggling to get to his feet.
br />
The Mad God laughed, and appeared beside Fotio again. 'We both know that's not true.'
Fotio, blinked blood out of his eyes from a cut across his forehead and managed to get upright. Still wobbling, he brought his mace around in a full arc and hit Monos in the face. The God took a step back, shook his head, and laughed. He brought the staff around and smashed Fotio in the chest, sending him tumbling back and knocking the mace from his hand.
Once again, Monos appeared beside Fotio. 'To think I feared you and your little mace. When you get back to the Mountain, tell Aquina I have enjoyed entertaining her daughter.' He laughed maniacally, put his foot on Fotio's chest and raised the staff above his head.
Fotio, in more pain than he had ever experienced before, remembered his short sword. As Monos brought the staff down, Fotio twisted with all his might and pushed the God to the side. The staff struck the ground where Fotio's head had been, and he spun to grip it and hold it in place with his left hand. Despite every movement opening up a new frontier in pain, Fotio drew his sword with his right hand and, instead of striking the Mad God, he brought the razor sharp blade down on the staff, cleaving it in two.
The staff turned to dust in Monos's hands. The illusion of the powerfully built God vanished and the plump Monos that Fotio had seen in Plusia stood before him. 'You broke staffi!' he gibbered. 'How did you do that! I made it and it was meant to last forever! It was magic! You can't break magic!' The Mad God stopped dead in his tracks. 'They can come now. Oh my army! My lovely army!' His face changed suddenly, from showing fear to projecting defiance. 'I don't care if they can come here, they still can't defeat me! I am Monos! I need no army!' He swung a wild fist at Fotio but the blow made no impression.
Akakion, freed from the crushing power of the Mad God, muttered a prayer under his breath and Fotio's mace flew back to his hand. Surprised and delighted, Fotio smacked Monos in the back of the head with it. The small God wobbled around, obviously hurt. Fotio pulled back his mace to land the killing blow, but hesitated because several things happened at once.
Behind him, Geneka had become conscious. 'Fotio! Is that really you? What's happening? Who is that little man you're fighting?'
There was a high and painful sound and the room became crowded with Gods. Twelve of them, to be precise, and they didn't look happy. Mazi punched Monos square in the nose while Pyros landed a brutal kick between his legs at precisely the same moment. The diminutive God curled up into a ball of pain and vanished.
Aquina let out a scream and raced over to Geneka, who was standing looking dazed and confused. Her chains, which were obviously only for show and not been restricted her at all, had fallen to the ground.
'Geni! What has that monster done to you?' Aquina cried
'What monster?' Geneka said.
'Why Monos, of course. You were his captive and the prophet saved you!'
'Monos isn't a monster, Mom, he's a sweety. And he's got great arms. We've been having a lovely time and he's a perfect gentleman. He's so lonely and misunderstood because nobody's giving him a chance. You guys would really like him if you met him, like, face to face.'
Fotio felt the green ire of jealousy rising, but the prospect of divine bloodlust cut it off.
'Right,' Mazi said. 'Now that pint sized bastard is gone, it's time to take care of his bloody army.' There was a manic look in his eyes.
'No! Don't kill them!' Fotio yelled. 'Let them go. Make them swear to never attack Helvenica again and let them go.'
Mazi looked at the young man as if he'd just asked him to kiss a goat. As usual, he turned to his family when he was confused. 'What did he say?' he asked Pyros.
'He said not to kill them.'
'And he wants us to let them go,' Psofios chimed in.
'Does he really?'
Fotio sighed. 'You are Gods. You can enforce any vow if it is made to you. And think of the stories they will tell, of how the Gods of Helvenica defeated Monos but showed mercy to his worshipers.'
All twelve gods looked at Fotio.
'Don't you understand? This is the sort of thing that gave rise to Monos in the first place! If you keep behaving like spoilt children, Monos will be back and the next time he won't even need an army. The next time, the people of Helvenica will smash your temples themselves.'
All the Gods looked to Aquina. 'I think it may be an idea to do as the prophet says.'
'Really?' Mazi looked crestfallen. 'We better do this together then. Okay, everyone in a circle, backs inside.
Akakion, who had recovered enough to stumble over to where Fotio was standing, reached over and slapped him on the back. 'Well done,' he said. 'You have saved Helvenica from one Mad God.' He looked at the Helvenican pantheon, bickering amongst themselves in the center of the room. 'And you just may be about to save twelve more mad buggers from themselves.' He sat down heavily on the dais. Fotio joined him.
'Right, all sorted?' Mazi said. 'Everyone happy? Good.'
Fotio and Akakion watched as the twelve Gods expanded up into the heavens, smashing the roof and bringing down the walls of Monos's inadequate fortress.
Many of the soldiers of Monos tried to run but found themselves rooted to the ground. Miraculously, the falling debris did not kill or injure anybody, but this sort of thing happens quite often when Gods are involved.
'Soldiers of Monos,' Mazi said, his voice booming across the heavens, 'your God has been defeated, his fortress lies in tatters, and his army is ours to do with as we see fit. In times of old, we would have sent you all to your eternity to pay your penance.'
There was a general outcry from the immobile soldiers.
'Do not fear, men of the south. We, the Gods of Helvenica, have decided to show mercy. Swear to never attack our lands again, cast aside your worship of the false God, and you may go free!'
'Never!' said High Priest Tiflos, and several others took up the cry. Green tendrils of light arced out from within the circle of Gods and sought out those who refused to swear. Unable to move, the soldiers who had remained loyal to Monos could only watch as the light sought them out. It didn't take long for all to be found and then, as one, they began to scream.
From his position on the dais, Fotio watched as the men's flesh visibly changed and become hard as stone. He felt sick to his stomach.
'See what happens to those who defy us?' Mazi bellowed. 'Even eternity will be denied them and their spirits will be trapped forever in the stone that was once their flesh. Are there any others who wish to join them?'
There was silence.
'Good, now repeat after me "I swear to never attack or take up arms against the people of Helvenica ever again, nor worship that bastard Monos." The assembled army repeated the words with enthusiasm. 'You have sworn to us, the Gods of Helvenica. Look to those who have refused and you will see your fate should you break your vow. Now, piss off.'
The Twelve all shrunk back down to a more human size. 'That went quite well, I thought,' Mazi said.
'Yes, my Lord,' Aquina said, 'but was the flourish at the end really necessary?'
'Most definitely. We don't want the buggers hanging around here getting up to no good.'
Akakion, who had somehow managed to find a flask of stiporo and was sharing it with Fotio, abruptly stood up from the dais upon which the two had planted themselves. 'I have to travel to the Mountain,' he said.
Mazi looked to Aquina, who nodded her head. There was a blurred moment and Fotio and Akakion find themselves standing in a golden hall.
Fotio, who had been sitting on the dais, fell onto his bottom, but bounced straight back to his feet. He looked up and then spun around in wonder and awe. The room was twice the size of Monos's fortress. The walls shimmered and when Fotio looked hard at one spot, it became transparent like a window and showed beautiful woodland on the other side. The ceiling was sky blue when he looked directly at it, but was golden in his peripheral vision.
'This is the Hall of the Mountain,' Mazi said, seeing the wonder in his fa
ce. He stepped forward and put his arm around Fotio shoulders. 'Lads,' he roared, and clapped Akakion on the back with his free hand, 'you've done it. You've managed to fight off a God.'
Akakion noticed that everyone had fallen silent and were staring, mouths agape, at Mazi and Fotio. He turned to see what had fascinated them so and his jaw dropped in wonder, leaving his mouth agape. It looked like Mazi was standing next to a younger, surlier version of himself.
'From the look on your faces, I can tell you've all but worked it out,' Mazi said. 'I suppose we should make it official. Fotio is my son. Many years ago, during an unfortunate break in my marriage, I met and fell in love with the beautiful Earth spirit Neoleia. It was a brief and passionate affair, and Fotio here was the result. I've nurtured and watched over him ever since.'
Fotio turned and looked directly at Mazi. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something, but instead he swung his mace at the God's head.
Akakion, almost without thinking, intercepted the blow with his spear. 'Well, at least now we know where you got your belligerence from.'
From the back of the gaggle of Gods, there came a squeal of delight. 'You mean he's one of us? Can I Mom, please? Can I?' Geneka said, excitedly.
Aquina looked at her daughter. 'Don't you think it's a little unseemly dear? After all you said about Monos?'
Geneka looked horrified. 'Eeeewww! He's so not my type! You don't really think we got together, do you?'
'Well, okay then.''
Geneka raced across the golden floor and threw herself into Fotio's arms. He winced involuntarily and looked up into the heavens for the expected meteor. When it didn't materialize, he succumbed to Geneka's affection. The two kissed for quite a long time.
'Isn't that nice?' Mazi said. 'We could be related soon, Aqui.'
At the sound of Mazi's voice, Fotio disengaged himself from Geneka and turned to his newly acquired father, anger etched all over his face. 'You're a bastard,' he said. 'In fact, the lot of you are bastards. Arrogant, meddling, idiotic bastards. I defended you all against Monos, but it was a close thing. He may be a Mad God, but at least he respects his worshiper. You lot couldn't give a damn! You just carry on as if it's only you that matters. Well, I've got news for you, it's not all about you. The people are getting fed up.'
Fotio was so high on rage and indignation that he didn't see Pyros flex his fingers and send a ball of flaming magna arcing in his direction. It completely engulfed the young prophet but singed not a hair on anyone else's head.
When the smoke cleared, Fotio was standing, completely unharmed and staring daggers at the God of Fire.
Pyros gave him a wan smile. 'Sorry about that,' he said. 'I'm the God of Anger as well, and sometimes I get a little worked up. The red mist falls and BOOM, someone's hair is on fire. Can't control myself. So, you're immune to Divine magic, eh? Nice. It's usually only Gods who have that power. If we weren't immune we'd have blown one another to dust centuries ago.'
'That's it!' Akakion exclaimed, 'Gods are immune to divine magic, and you are the second prophet and are immune to divine magic. You're a God, Fotio, a God. And do you know what you're the God of? You're the God of Gods! They prayed to you and you answered, and now you're going to save them from themselves!'
Everyone looked at Akakion.
'You been at the stiporo again?' Mazi asked.
'Can't you see? It's so obvious! Why did you all, without question, accept that some bedraggled thief could challenge and defeat an enemy so powerful the twelve of you combined couldn't even get near him?'
The Twelve all turned to stare at Fotio. 'It does seem silly, now you come to mention it,' Pyros conceded.
Fotio looked at Akakion as if he were mad. 'Oh, come on. This is getting ridiculous. I'm an errand boy who can barely take care of himself. And anyway, if I'm a God where are my divine powers?'
'You can wield the Stone Mace, and are immune to divine magic, and you just defeated the second most powerful being in the lands.'
'Second? Who's the first?' Mazi asked. Akakion pointed at Fotio.
There was silence, and then a voice rose from the knot of Gods staring at Fotio. 'While your reasoning is sound, young Akakion, I'm afraid you have overlooked one small matter. None of the Gods actually believes there is a God to whom they can pray. Without belief, one cannot have a God. As to why they all thought he could help, it's Fate's fault. If Fate told them that banging one's head against a wall once a day would drive away Monos, they'd all have bruised foreheads.'
The speaker strode to the front of the pack and examined Fotio through half moon glasses that were perched precariously on his nose. He pulled a sheaf of notes from his robe and held them up to his eyes. The glasses slid up his nose automatically as he read down the first page. 'He is certainly an impressive looking fellow,' the God said. A quill magically appeared in his hand and he jotted some notes. 'I've made an extensive study of the Monos phenomena and, naturally, when Fate recommended this young man, I looked into his circumstances as well. Now my findings aren't conclusive by a long shot...'
'Oh do get on with it, Engefalo,' Mazi said in exasperation. The Lord of Gods had never been much of a scholar and just the sound of the God of Education's voice frustrated him.
'Uh, oh, yes, hnmnm, well. Now, if we must be hasty, Fotio and Monos are what I like to call "Meta Gods" because they are the next phase of believer-deity relations. My research indicates that we have incorrectly labeled Monos as the God of Men. A more accurate name would be God of Worshipful Men. Fotio is his polar opposite; he is the God of Godless Men. It may sound illogical, but I have studied the evidence most thoroughly and the events of today do support this hypothesis.'
'That's insane,' Akakion said, after taking a moment to process Engefalo's theory. 'Are you seriously suggesting that Fotio is the God of Atheists? How can that be?'
'Well, not just atheists, he also draws power from Agnostics and other such non-deity specific believers and spiritualists. Any human who has a passionate belief that Gods don't exist, or that they are merely agents of higher powers falls under the young fellow's domain. The old Gods, of whom we twelve are the last, draw their power from worship rather than belief, which is why our temples are so important. Belief may bring us into existence, but it worship that keeps us going. The problem is that we have let our worshipers down with some rather erratic behavior. They may call us Gods. They may pray to us, and go through the rituals and what not, but in their hearts, they don't believe that we are Gods. In their hearts, they believe that we are monsters.'
'But a God of Atheists is such a stupid idea. If Fotio is the God of Atheists, why is he helping the Gods? Shouldn't he be opposing them?'
'Oh my no! Fotio's existence depends upon a robust pantheon and belief system against which his believers can rail. It is well known that some atheists are more passionate about their non-belief than all but the most ardent worshipers of The Twelve, and scholars have often wondered where that power got to. What he doesn't need is us, the old Gods. He could simply abandon us twelve and allow Monos to take over without suffering any ill affects at all. That's what Fate meant when he said Fotio had to choose to help us of his own free will. He could have simply stepped back and watched us get driven out.'
Akakion looked at the God of Education and his face made it clear that he wasn't buying any of it. 'You're the expert,' he said, eventually, and turned to Fotio. 'You were right, Foti. You are the God of Confused Bastards.'
'Um, yeah, whatever,' Fotio said. 'Regardless, there's going to be changes around here. I know you won't like them, but they're for your own good.'
'Don't tell me, you want to be leader of the Gods?' Mazi said. 'He turned to the other Gods and beamed proudly. 'He's a chip off the old block, isn't he?'
'I would rather take a swim in the Hygiene Marsh of Pethamenos,' Fotio said. He fished inside his armor and produced a grubby notebook, which he opened to a particular page and handed to Mazi. 'I've been working on this for ages. That pag
e is all you need to read for now. It's called The Divine Non-Intervention Pact. I'm still working on the detail.'
Mazi looks perplexed as he read. 'The three laws of divinity?' he said, after a while. 'We are Gods! Laws are for others. Come my boy, forget all this nonsense. You've done a mighty deed and we should be celebrating. Is this how you reward your old man? After all the years I watched over you and protected you?'
'Watched over him? Protected him?' Akakion said, in exasperation. 'Protected yourself from your wife more like it.'
Mazi looked shocked, then angry. 'He may be immortal, Lord Keeper, but you aren't. Prepare for eternity,' he thundered.
Akakion and Fotio both turned towards the old Gods and gripped their weapons. 'You fight him and you'll fight me as well,' Fotio said.
'Actually, my Lord, the situation is a little more complicated than that. The Keeper has been called by Polipsilo,' Aquina said.
'He has?'
'Yes, that's why he is here,' she said and took the paper from Mazi's hands. 'It may also be unwise to start a fight against someone who just defeated the most powerful God ever to walk the lands, mortal or immortal.' She looked down at the piece of paper. 'There are three rules of Divinity,' she read out. 'The first is that the Gods will perform no action that would directly kill people or lead to their death, even if it's for their own good.' She raised her eyebrows and looked at Fotio. 'The second is that the Gods will not directly interfere in the lives of humans. They will choose the Kings and Queens of the land and the Emperor. These office bearers will then act as conduits for divine will. The third is the Gods will protect the people from all threats posed by immortal spirits, demons, and devils.'
While Aquina read, Mazi fumed. By the time she had finished, it was obvious that he was barely containing his fury. There were sparks flying off his fists and he had turned a bright shade of red.
'Please, my Lord, contain yourself,' Aquina said. 'We do not want a demonstration of why our worshipers believe us to be monsters. I think we should give this Meta God a chance to prove himself.'
'You do?' Mazi said, deflating and looking a trifle disappointed. He felt he'd missed out on brawling with Monos because "the bugger ran away" and had been looking forward to having a bit of a tussle with his son.
'Yes I do. I propose a challenge to determine if Fotio is worthy of imposing his will on the Gods. Each of The Twelve will set you a task, Fotio. Finish all twelve and we will adopt these rules of divinity. Fail and you will accept the will of the Gods and never mention the subject again. What do you say?'
Mazi smiled. 'I don't know where we'd be without you, Aqui,' he said. He looked around the room and was greeted with murmurs of consent from the other ten Gods. 'The Gods accept.'
Fotio hesitated because it felt like a trick. Mazi noticed his hesitation. 'What's the matter? Are ya chicken?'
'Chicken? I've just travelled the length of Helvenica to save your ass. If I was chicken I would have stayed home, or run away, or joined with Monos. I'm not chicken, I just don't trust my Gods,' Fotio said. 'No Helvenican in their right mind would trust their Gods,' he added, after a moment's consideration.
Mazi started flapping his arms and scratching at the ground with his feet. 'Puc puc PUCAWWWW,' he said, walking up and down in a rather good imitation of a chicken, 'I'm the second prophet and I'm afraid of a little bet with the Gods! Puc Puc Pucawww!'
Fotio went red. 'This is hopeless,' he said. 'How do I get out of this madhouse?'
'Not all the Gods are as closed to your thinking as our great leader,' Aquina said. 'Please accept the challenge, Fotio. Some of us noticed how quickly our worshipers abandoned us when Monos offered an alternative. We are worried and need your help.'
Geneka grabbed Fotio's arm and a thrill ran down his body. She looked up into his eyes and caused his resolve to melt. Admittedly, there were other, more physical manifestations of his respect for her, but if pressed he would swear that they played absolutely no part in his subsequent decision. 'Okay,' he said. 'What do I have to do?'
'What you have to do is take a break,' Akakion chimed in, 'you need some time to rest and recuperate before you save the world again.'
'Have you appointed yourself guardian of the prophet, Lord Akakion?' Aquina said. 'No doubt your wisdom will serve him well.'
Akakion couldn't tell if the God was being generous or mocking him, but he'd insulted one God already today, and been almost crushed by another. He didn't fancy taking on a third. Besides, of all the Gods, Aquina scared him the most. 'Ahh, yeah, well he's been on the road for quite a while, and there have been several, ahh, difficulties along the way, some of which required a physical response. He needs to go home and take a break, visit with his mom because he told her he wasn't going to get out of this alive.'
'Neoleia is visiting her sister in Enorganon,' Aquina said. 'I told her you would probably end up there when your adventure was over.'
'Can we go there? I found it quite a nice place,' Fotio said, 'what of you priest? Will you come with me?'
Akakion smiled. 'Eventually. I'm going to go to Plusia to see to some unfinished business.'
'I can't let you go without a word of warning, young man,' Episkeros said. 'Although you have many believers, none of them know your name or even consciously believe in you. It makes things tricky, on the God front. There's no doubt you're immortal, but it would be best to avoid dying in the mortal lands. You never know where you'll end up, or even if you'll still be you when you do.'
'I'll do my best,' Fotio said, unable to think of any other way to respond.
Akakion shook his head and clapped Fotio on the shoulder. 'It's a strange day when even you don't believe in you,' he said.
Geneka re-engaged with the young thief cum meta-god. 'I believe in you,' she said, immediately raising Fotio's spirits.
'We will give the prophet time to rest, but with my daughter by his side, I'm not sure how much rest he will actually get,' Aquina said. 'The Gods will come to you in Enorganon, Fotio. There have been several strange happenings of late. Little things, small annoyances, and yet they are adversely affecting our worshipers. What's frustrating is that, no matter how hard we try, we simply cannot fix these annoyances, and all the Gods have at least one. Maybe you will be able to help.'
'We'll await the tasks with excitement,' Akakion said, obviously in a hurry, 'now, how do we get out of here?'
'Are you volunteering to help the prophet?' Aquina said.
'Of course I am. The boy's inherited his father's temper as well as his attitude to education. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I abandoned him now. So, how do we leave?'
'Through the door over there,' Aquina pointed to a doorway that looked like it was full of white smoke. 'Just think of where you want to go and walk through. It'll do the rest.'
Akakion turned to go.
'Keeper, before you leave, there is something I must tell you.'
'What?' Akakion said, forgetting his manners in his exasperation at another delay. All of a sudden, Leni's face filled his horizon.
Aquina raised an eyebrow but decided to let the matter pass. 'There is something about your birth you should know.'
'If it's that my parents weren't really my parents, I kind of guessed. My whole family, on both sides, never rose above five foot six. I, on the other hand, stand six foot four. It didn't take a genius to see I was somewhat different.'
'Very perceptive. You would not be surprised, then, to learn that your father is the giant Parapsilos.'
'Really? And my mother?'
Aquina smiled. 'I did a better job looking over you than Mazi did looking over Fotio, don't you think?'
Akakion turned to look at Geneka, who had Fotio in a death grip lover's embrace. 'Hi bro,' she said and waved, which was the last thing that Akakion saw and heard before consciousness left him.
Also By Eric Feka:
Otto was having trouble relating to people, which is why the virtual world of Sword of Valour was so appealing. Here
was a world where excitement replaced tedium, where you could kill annoying individuals, and where the level cap kept you from growing old. It seemed like virtual heaven. Sadly, it wasn't.
In Sword of Valour, you could be whoever you wanted to be. What was puzzling was that everyone seemed to be exactly the same as they were in the real world. The same hang ups, the same egos, the same bloody mindedness. The only real difference, as far as Otto could tell, was that if you killed someone, instead of rotting, he or she complained. It was enough to make a conservative young man unsheathe the virtual daggers and go rogue.
A tale about who we think we are, who everybody else thinks we are, who we really are, and who we wish we were.
Emmet Storch was an unemployed sponger who thought he had no calling in life. All that changed when he landed a job in the call centre at the monolithic Star Insurance where, from the very first day, he was magnificent. It was as if the very essence of insurance ran through his veins and he and his telephone were as one. Irate policyholders found comfort in his soothing words; recalcitrant contractors became polite and respectful.
It would have been perfect had it not been for his lecherous and treacherous hormones. A humorous look at love and lust in the iAge where consumerism runs rampant and integrity can get stuffed.
Thank you for reading books on BookFrom.Net Share this book with friends