They’d made additional rules. I probably needed to learn them. I really might not be cut out for this. “I left him asleep. He doesn’t know I’m here.”

  Damian snorted. “Ah, that’s why you can’t sleep. The snoring, huh?”

  “What do you mean?” I really didn’t follow.

  “The guy snores bad. Give it an hour. When he’s really out, it starts. We had to share a room a couple of times on previous assignments.” He walked toward the back of the agricultural area. “Come with me.”

  Damian brought me into his office where there were video screens showing the outside of the enclosure and the rooms where the Zombies were. I guessed this was how he kept track of things. The room was small but efficient and even had a cot in the back. Did he sleep here sometimes?

  He opened a drawer and handed me two small devices. “Stick them in your ears.”

  I’d never seen anything like the devices. “What are they?”

  “Electronic ear plugs. They’ll calculate the noise in the room and give you just enough blockage. You aren’t going to be sleeping otherwise.”

  “Um, thanks.” It was a little weird to be discussing Lewis’ sleeping habits with Damian. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

  “Yes. Oh, there’s one thing. See that beautiful horse over there? The white one? We keep horses because we’re actually doing a small secondary experiment on how horses do in enclosures like this one. The answer is: well—at least if I give them room to run. Anyway, that one is pregnant. Very. I may have to come back a few times to check on her tomorrow. I know it’s a day off but …”

  I touched his arm. “Can I come, too?”

  “You would want to?”

  “I love it in here. I’ve never seen anything like it. Please?”

  He grinned. “Sure. I’d love that.”

  “Great. Goodnight, Damian.”

  His eyebrows rose. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to make something before you go back?”

  “I’m not. Thanks, though.” I’d answered my own question. He could be calm when he was awake. I simply had to face him on his own turf.

  “Goodnight, Diana.”

  “’Night, Damian.”

  I hurried back to my ship. Lewis was sprawled out on my bed, and he wasn’t snoring. I slipped into the covers next to him, and he rolled over, flinging his arm over me. “Assuming Damian’s okay?”

  “You’re awake? I’m sorry. I had to make sure he was okay. He is.”

  Lewis kissed the back of my neck. “I woke up, and you weren’t here. I took a guess. If you hadn’t come back soon, I’d have come looking. You have a big heart. We all need you, Diana. Thank you.”

  I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t answer. “Goodnight, Lewis.”

  An hour later, I was really glad Damian had given me the earplugs. Lewis was so sweet, and he held me like I was a lifeline in a world that made no sense. But he did snore. With the earplugs, I didn’t notice at all.

  I woke up when Lewis rolled over. I opened my eyes a bit. The light was bright in the hall. It must be getting up time. Lewis groaned, which woke me up more.

  “Are you okay?” I took the earplugs out of my ears, set them aside, and then I touched his back.

  “I feel like I’ve been hit by a spaceship. Sorry. I knew the exhaustion would be coming. I didn’t realize how much it would hurt.”

  I hated that he was in pain because of me. “I’m sorry. I …”

  He patted my leg. “Whatever you’re about to say, don’t. I need to go through this to be with you properly. I’ll do it. End of story. Don’t fuss. That’ll just … piss me off.”

  “Okay.” So he was really grumpy. I stood from the bed and made my way to the bathroom. He needed space. I would … Lewis grabbed my arm.

  “Aggression and aggravation. We might all be more negative than we would normally be. It’ll pass, and then we’ll get our full faculties back.” He tugged me against him, and I gave him a big hug. He was hurting. I’d give him a break for his bad mood. “See? I feel better already. Thanks for last night. Did you have any, ah, trouble sleeping with me?”

  I shook my head. “I have earplugs.”

  “Oh.” He grinned. “That’s good. I’ve been checked. There’s nothing wrong with me. I just … snore.”

  I kissed his cheek lightly. “There are worse things.”

  His dark eyes watered for a second, and then the wetness vanished. “You’re so beautiful.”

  I hit him lightly on the shoulder. “Knock it off.”

  His tablet dinged, and he jumped, running toward it. “Shit on toast.”

  “What is it?”

  He hissed his breath while he tugged on his pants. “Judge fell. Out of the rafters in the pod room. Damian has him making more space in there for storage. He’s hurt.”

  My heart stopped. “Badly?”

  “Sterling doesn’t think so. They need me. Fast.”

  He dressed fast, and I did the same. I ran after him, and he didn’t complain or tell me not to. When we got to his lab, Judge moaned on the bed, holding his knee. A bone in the bottom half of his leg stuck out. I covered my mouth to keep from screaming. Not hurt badly?

  I rushed to Judge’s side. “Oh, Judge. What happened?”

  Sweat broke out on his forehead. “Oh, don’t worry, Di. It’s nothing. I fell. No big deal.”

  Sterling snorted. “I heard it in the gym.”

  “Doll, keep him calm for me, okay? Resetting a bone and helping it stitch sucks.” Lewis walked over to Judge. “It just does.”

  “Put me in the machine.” His voice shook, and I stroked my hand through his hair. “Please. Not the shot first. Nothing hurts more than the shot.”

  Lewis shook his head. “I’m sorry, buddy. This protects your vitals. I can put you in the machine without it but this makes it work better. I’m also going to knock you out. You’ll be sour as hell when you wake. In two days.” Lewis turned his attention to me. “Judge doesn’t like needles. Or the machine. Put him in awake, and he screams.”

  Judge’s eyes darkened. “No need to absolutely humiliate me in front of my girlfriend.”

  Lewis stuck the needle in Judge’s arm, and Judge cried out but didn’t otherwise react. I could see a muscle in his jaw tick. “I see I should have Diana here whenever I treat you.”

  Judge started to sway, and I grabbed his head. “It’s working fast. I’m going to be out in a minute. That’s fast. Faster than usual …”

  He slurred the last few words. Lewis and Sterling took him by his arms and carried him together to the machine. I hated being in it, too. His eyes drooped while he looked at me. “It’ll be our date night when I wake up.”

  “I’ll feed you soup.”

  He grinned, and then his eyes closed. Lewis closed the machine around him and turned it on. He stood over the machine watching it as it showed Judge’s vitals. Lewis made some adjustments and then stood there staring at it. After a minute, he nodded his head. “He’ll be fine.”

  Sterling exhaled loudly. “No way should Judge have been doing that alone. Crazy man.”

  “You know danger sometimes escapes him.” Lewis turned around and grinned at me. “Thanks for your help.”

  I held my hands up. “I did nothing.”

  “He would have been so much worse without you here to show off for. Screaming. Cursing. Fighting. I’d have had to knock him out much less gently. Sterling would have held him down. Big mess.”

  I walked to the side and sank down in a chair. “When I got concussed on Artemis, I just got in the machine. I didn’t think to set anything. I crawled inside. Shut myself in and laid there.”

  Lewis stormed over to me, and a second later he had the light in my eyes he’d used the first day. “When were you concussed?”

  “Months and months ago.” I swatted at his hand, pushing away the light. “I imagine whatever damage was done is done now.”

  He turned off the light. “I’m sure your medical machine did fine. It’ll wo
rk in an emergency like that. In most situations. It won’t solve a bite from an Infected. That’s an injection protocol.”

  “I hope never to find out.”

  Sterling walked over and kissed me on top of the head. “See you tonight for dinner, and then tomorrow is our day. Don’t fuss over her too much, Lewis. Diana’s made of strong stuff. She’s a steel backboned rose. See you later.”

  Lewis met my steady gaze. “Am I over fussing?”

  “No.” He kissed my hand. “I like your level of fuss.”

  I must have said the right thing because his intense gaze softened. I helped him clean up the mess of where Judge had bled, and when we were finished, he backed me into a corner. He kissed me, square on the lips, not saying another word. We stood there for minutes, not talking except where our mouths met over and over again. I melted into him. Eventually, he had to hold me up because my knees gave out. Lewis made no other moves to touch me anywhere or advance from the light kissing in the corner.

  Eventually, he pulled back, breathing hard. “I kept you alive. It still amazes me. You were so close to death. Not moving in my arms when Damian passed you over to me. I put you in the machine, your pulse was thready, your breath sounds barely there. Here you are now. Kissing me. Giving something to my life I never had or expected to have. I want to know where you are all the time. I want to take your hand and rub my finger over your pulse to feel it. I do that. You don’t notice. But I have to tell you. I’m checking on you. All the time.”

  I took his hand in mine and ran my hand over his wrist until I could feel his. “We’ll check on each other.”

  His voice shook. “Great answer.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Best laid plans

  It was well after nine when I left Judge asleep in Lewis’ care. Although Lewis assured me Judge would sleep for a day and wouldn’t know if I was there or not, I insisted on coming back whenever I could. I knew he’d do the same for me.

  I hoped Damian would understand.

  I rushed to Artemis, expecting him to be waiting for me but found no sign of him anywhere. Had he come and gone? Was he going to yell again?

  Not knowing where else to start looking, I ran so fast to the agricultural section I was out of breath when I got there. Damian sat on the ground outside of the horse enclosure, staring into space. I didn’t think it looked like he’d changed from the night before. The same black stain that had been on his left pant leg was still there.

  I approached him slowly, kneeling down. “Hi.”

  He jumped an inch off the ground and blinked rapidly. “Diana. Hi. Oh, hell. It’s morning isn’t it? I missed our date. Or is it later? I’ve been … I’m sorry.”

  I placed my hand on his arm. “Damian, what happened? Are you okay?”

  At least I’d not stood him up. More concerning, however, was how out of it he seemed. His pupils were huge. Had he slept at all?

  “Um.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Last night that horse I was showing you? The white one? She died giving birth. There wasn’t a thing I could do. One of my degrees is in veterinary medicine. Not a thing. She died all of a sudden and without any warning. So did the baby. Looks like … she had a blood vessel burst. I’ve never seen it before. Could be an Orion thing. The pressure here. Two others have given birth without a problem, but that’s why you need a large sample.”

  He stopped talking. My heart broke into a million pieces for him. It was clear he loved the animals. I pulled him against me, hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry.”

  I ran my fingers up and down the wide expanse of his back. He sighed, not moving otherwise. What a night he’d had. I’m not sure how long we stayed like that, breathing together and not doing anything else.

  He eventually lifted his head. “Thank you. I don’t remember the last time anyone held me.”

  “Don’t thank me for caring. That’s something we can expect from each other, okay?”

  His sad smile made my heart pang again. “Okay.” He rubbed his eyes. “I had this whole day planned. Do you like cooking? I thought maybe we could do a whole meal together. From picking the vegetables to preparing the meal.”

  “I would have loved that. I have an idea instead. Why don’t you let me do the cooking tonight for you? Take the night off. And you can get some sleep.”

  He shook his head, his brown hair falling into his eyes. He really was so gorgeous. I never stopped to admire the long angles of his face. With just the two of us sitting together, I could really see how strikingly handsome he was.

  “I’m not going to sleep through our date day. No way. No how.” He stood slowly, stretching his arms over his head. “I shouldn’t get so attached to the animals. Every time I have to end one to make dinner it puts me in a horrible mood. I guess I thought I wouldn’t have to lose the horses. Stupid.”

  I put my arm around his waist. “I wondered whose job that was.”

  “I could automate it. Let the robots Judge invented do their job. I figure I owe it to them. Left to my own devices, I’d be a vegetarian. Evander wants us eating meat. If I have to eat them, I do them the courtesy of doing it myself.”

  I didn’t envy his role although I loved all kinds of meats. “Thank you for doing what you do for all of us. Damian, listen, I see how it is for you. Being in charge of everyone and all of their safety. Don’t feel like you have to add me to that list. You didn’t ask for my arrival. The last thing you need is another person to worry over.”

  He kissed the top of my head, and I shuddered from the warmth travelling my spine. “Too late.”

  I determined right there I would go out of my way to not be another burden on him. “I’m cooking dinner. You can sit and talk to me. How’s that?”

  “Sounds like a plan.”

  We held hands and strolled slowly. I wasn’t going to rush anywhere with him today. He needed rest, and if he wouldn’t take it, I could at least see to it he didn’t do anything taxing.

  “Do you mind if we stop and check on Judge?”

  His eyebrows shot up. “What happened to Judge? Why does he need checking? He’s doing storage inventory today.”

  He didn’t know. I unlinked our hands, rubbing his back gently. “He took a bad fall this morning. He has to have a bone put back together. Lewis has already gotten him in the machine.”

  Damian abruptly stopped moving. “Shit.” He rubbed his face. “I didn’t even go to my tablet this morning. What the hell is wrong with me? Judge is hurt, and I’m sitting around and …”

  “Stop.” I grabbed his arm. “It’s done. He’s in the machine. For two days. I’m being all crazy wanting to check on him. You can’t do anything and couldn’t have then either.”

  “We’ll go check on him together.”

  Nothing had changed since I left Lewis’ medical bay earlier. In fact, Lewis was nowhere to be found. He’d probably gone to help Cash. The machine ran, making a slow hum. Damian walked to it slowly. “He’s out cold, right?”

  “Yes.”

  He placed a hand on the medical machine. “Good. He hates this thing. How did he get hurt?”

  “He took a fall from the storage area in the Pod room.”

  Damian scowled. “I’ll have a talk with him when he wakes up.” He narrowed his eyes and then touched a button on the machine.

  “Should you be messing with that?”

  “See this indicator here?” Damian showed me a bunch of squiggly lines moving up and down rapidly on the display. “That’s his dream state. Judge’s shows nightmares. Bad ones. I’m not surprised. He has terrible dreams. We had to make the gas they gave him during cryogenic sleep more happy, if you will. Judge gets more pleasant dreams than the rest of us in hyperspace. I just fixed it for him for a bit.”

  Did the others know the measures he took to keep them happy and safe?

  “Do we have to start cooking right now? Could we do something with noodles that doesn’t take as much time?”

  He turned to look at me. “Sure. Did you wan
t to do something else?”

  “Well, I was thinking I could use a nap.”

  Damian smirked at me. “You could, huh?”

  “Please?”

  “Sure. How could I say no to you?” He took my hand again, and we walked into the hallway just in time to hear a large roar. A large pipe flew across the room, slamming into the wall a short distance from us.

  Damian shoved me behind him. “Sterling? Diana, stay behind me. You losing it, brother?”

  Sterling breathed loudly, his hands on his hips. His nostrils flared. “You think I would hurt her? I’d cut out my own liver first. I don’t need you to stick yourself in front of Diana.”

  “You threw a pipe kind of close to her head. Wanna tell me what’s going on?” He inched toward Sterling. “Want to talk to Lewis? We’re all getting more aggressive. It’s to be expected. Do I need to worry about you?”

  Sterling put his hands on his knees and stuck his head between his legs. “I dropped the pipe on my foot, and it hurt. I took it out on the pipe. I’m sorry it came anywhere near you two. I’ll get this under control. I always did before the US, and I will again.”

  Damian patted him on the back. “I know you will again. Don’t throw anything else.”

  “Deal.” Sterling raised his head and winked at me. The cool, funny Sterling returned to his eyes. “Sorry.”

  I crossed my arms. “Are you okay?”

  “Don’t be afraid of me and I’ll be fine.” He extended his hand. I hesitated for a second before walking toward him. I’d seen violence. Lots of it. My Uncle Nolan had been clear that the best thing I could do when it came to men who had lost their minds was to give them a wide berth. There was plenty of pain in the universe. Still, Sterling said he’d cut out his liver before he hurt me. I took his hand. “Thanks. You’re not afraid of me are you?” He’d said it a number of times. It must have been really bothering him.

  “I don’t like that you threw a pipe. I don’t believe you threw it at me. So, no. But if you start tossing things around …”