CHAPTER 58: RAFE KHATCHADORIAN IS A BIG FAT IDIOT
CHAPTER 59
CHAPTER 60: STALLING FOR TIME
CHAPTER 61: JEANNE GALLETTA IS IN TROUBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE
CHAPTER 62: GAME OVER
CHAPTER 63: SOMETHING ELSE
CHAPTER 64: THOU SHALT (NOT) VANDALIZE
CHAPTER 65: TWO MINUTES LATER…
CHAPTER 66: TIME OUT (AGAIN)
CHAPTER 67: HOUSE ARREST
CHAPTER 68: THE VERY WORST PART
CHAPTER 69: THE FAMOUS POLICE CAR INCIDENT
CHAPTER 70: MOM
CHAPTER 71: IT HAD TO HAPPEN SOMETIME
CHAPTER 72: THE BIG E
CHAPTER 73: MOM ISN’T FINISHED
CHAPTER 74: AN EXPLANATION
CHAPTER 75: THE BIG CATCH
CHAPTER 76: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
COPYRIGHT
Copyright
Copyright © 2011 by James Patterson
Jacket © 2011 Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Illustrations by Laura Park
Jacket design by Alison Impey • Jacket art by Laura Park
All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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First eBook Edition: June 2011
The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. In the event a real name is used, it is used fictitiously.
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ISBN: 978-0-316-13470-5
Table of Contents
FRONT COVER IMAGE
WELCOME
DEDICATION
CHAPTER 1: I’M RAFE KHATCHADORIAN, TRAGIC HERO
CHAPTER 2: THE MIDDLE SCHOOL/MAX SECURITY PRISON
CHAPTER 3: AT LEAST I’VE GOT LEO
CHAPTER 4: RAH, RAH, RAH, YADA, YADA, YADA…
CHAPTER 5: THOSE OH-SO-CRUEL RULES
CHAPTER 6: EUREKA!
CHAPTER 7: CHAOS
CHAPTER 8: MY HOME PAGE
CHAPTER 9: CHECK THIS OUT
CHAPTER 10: CHECK THIS OUT, PART II
CHAPTER 11: GEORGIA ON MY NERVES
CHAPTER 12: SO THIS IS WHAT MOTIVATION FEELS LIKE!
CHAPTER 13: OFF AND RUNNING
CHAPTER 14: RULES WERE MADE FOR BREAKING
CHAPTER 15: WRITE AND WRONG
CHAPTER 16: THIN ICE IS BETTER THAN NO ICE AT ALL
CHAPTER 17: NEW RULE
CHAPTER 18: TEACHERS WANT TO BREAK ME, BUT I DON’T BREAK
CHAPTER 19: APPLE PIE AND CINNAMON
CHAPTER 20: MILLER THE KILLER RUINS DETENTION DAY
CHAPTER 21: MORE BAD NEWS
CHAPTER 22: AND TO TOP IT OFF…
CHAPTER 23: WHAT’S THE POINT, ANYWAY?
CHAPTER 24: I’LL TAKE THE DRAGON LADY OVER THE BEAR ANY DAY
CHAPTER 25: TIME OUT…
CHAPTER 26: REVENGE FOR SALE
CHAPTER 27: CRACKING THE DRESS CODE
CHAPTER 28: KICKIN’ IT, DUNGEON-STYLE
CHAPTER 29: HIS MAJESTY, THE LIZARD KING
CHAPTER 30: WHAT’S THE BIG DEAL?
CHAPTER 31: DINNER FOR THREE AT SWIFTY’S DINER
CHAPTER 32: SCUM
CHAPTER 33: HOW HARD COULD IT BE?
CHAPTER 34: NORMAL
CHAPTER 35: MILLER STRIKES AGAIN
CHAPTER 36: WHAT NOW?
CHAPTER 37: BUSTED!
CHAPTER 38: THE DARK AGES
CHAPTER 39: JEANNE, JEANNE, JEANNE
CHAPTER 40: CHARITY CASE
CHAPTER 41: REPORT CARD TIME—ALL A’S—YAY!
CHAPTER 42: HO, HO, HO
CHAPTER 43: SHORT AND SWEET, BUT MOSTLY JUST SHORT
CHAPTER 44: LOST AND FOUND
CHAPTER 45: FIRST-DAY-BACK BLUES
CHAPTER 46: DOING TIME WITH SERGEANT STRICKER
CHAPTER 47: DOWN THE DRAIN
CHAPTER 48: YOU TELL ME
CHAPTER 49: COPYCAT
CHAPTER 50: IT WAS WORTH A SHOT, ANYWAY
CHAPTER 51: TWO TO TUTOR
CHAPTER 52: PLAY-BY-PLAY
CHAPTER 53: TUESDAYS AND THURSDAYS
CHAPTER 54: SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT
CHAPTER 55: IS IT STILL BULLYING IF YOU’RE BULLYING THE BULLY?
CHAPTER 56: TEN PAGES AND A LIE
CHAPTER 57: INTO THE HOMESTRETCH
CHAPTER 58: RAFE KHATCHADORIAN IS A BIG FAT IDIOT
CHAPTER 59
CHAPTER 60: STALLING FOR TIME
CHAPTER 61: JEANNE GALLETTA IS IN TROUBLE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE
CHAPTER 62: GAME OVER
CHAPTER 63: SOMETHING ELSE
CHAPTER 64: THOU SHALT (NOT) VANDALIZE
CHAPTER 65: TWO MINUTES LATER…
CHAPTER 66: TIME OUT (AGAIN)
CHAPTER 67: HOUSE ARREST
CHAPTER 68: THE VERY WORST PART
CHAPTER 69: THE FAMOUS POLICE CAR INCIDENT
CHAPTER 70: MOM
CHAPTER 71: IT HAD TO HAPPEN SOMETIME
CHAPTER 72: THE BIG E
CHAPTER 73: MOM ISN’T FINISHED
CHAPTER 74: AN EXPLANATION
CHAPTER 75: THE BIG CATCH
CHAPTER 76: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
COPYRIGHT
James Patterson, I Funny: A Middle School Story
(Series: I Funny # 1)
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