When we reached the top, the hostess smiled at us and asked us to follow her. Not surprisingly, her gaze lingered on Reed a bit longer than me. Even if she didn't know who he was, his looks alone were enough to attract attention. I gave him a sideways glance to see if he was flirting back, but his smile was only polite. He put his hand at the small of my back, not quite touching, but enough to guide me around the tables to a relatively quiet corner.
We each ordered a beer and then turned our attention to our menus. The nearly idle chatter continued until after we ordered and our food arrived. Only after we'd both had a few bites of the vegetarian pizza we were sharing did Reed's expression grow serious. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I knew what was coming.
“I'm starting my own business.”
Okay, maybe I didn't know what was coming. I leaned forward and he put his hand over mine. My skin tingled where it touched his.
“You were right to make me leave last week. I wasn't thinking clearly. There were things I needed to do.” He gestured toward the hand covering mine and I noticed for the first time that his finger was empty. “I hired two lawyers. One for the divorce and one to handle the business aspect of it. I took the papers to Britni two days ago and gave her my wedding band. The engagement ring went back to my mother for safe keeping.”
The way he looked at me told me that he had something specific in mind for it and those damn butterflies did another lap. His fingers tightened around mine.
“And I went to both of our parents and told them that I didn't love Britni and I couldn't stay married to her.”
My eyes widened. That had taken some serious guts to do that. I just hoped he hadn't mentioned me to them, especially since I wasn't sure how I felt about him anymore. I could only imagine how they'd feel if Reed did this all for me but I rejected him.
I almost winced. The word rejected sounded so harsh.
Reed continued, unaware of my internal conflict. “I knew my parents would try to threaten me with the same thing as before, so I handed in my resignation. I told them that I'd take the money my grandparents had left me to start my own business, and if they couldn't accept the decision I'd made, they could cut me off.”
“Reed, I–” I had to say something. He had to know that he couldn't do all of this for me, not when I wasn't sure where we were going to go, how I was feeling.
“I've never felt this free before,” he said. “You showed me that I couldn't just keep living the life my parents told me to live. I was suffocating and hadn't even realized it.”
I smiled. “I'm glad you feel free.” That much was true. I did still care about him. I was happy he'd started standing up to his parents and making his own choices. I loved how happy he looked. I just didn't know if it was enough to get past everything else.
He shifted our hands so that our fingers were laced together. “They may come around; they may not, but I've made my choice.” His eyes met mine. “And I choose you.”
Oh, fuck. My heart skipped a beat at his words, but I could feel that excitement was only part of it. Almost as significant was worry over what would happen if I didn’t choose him.
He sat back, releasing my hand. “I'm sorry. That was too much, I know.” He smiled and took a drink of his beer. “No pressure or expectations tonight. I just wanted to let you know where I am.”
I nodded and drained what was left of my beer, hoping the buzz would counteract my nerves.
“I know you probably have questions that you've been wanting to ask,” he said. “So ask away. Anything you want and I'll answer it honestly.”
I took a bite of my pizza as much to give myself a few minutes as anything else. I did have a million questions, but most of them weren't for Reed. There were a few though, that I needed answers to. I picked one thread at random.
“Why now?” I put down the slice I'd been eating. I didn't think I could eat any more. “You said it was because of what Brock had done, but you knew about what he did to me months ago. Back in Vegas, you made me believe that you were going to break off your engagement but went through with it anyway. And…” I was getting riled up now, counting his indiscretions off one finger at a time, “you've been married for nearly six months and keep claiming how much you wanted to be with me even though you didn't make a move to end things until last week. How am I supposed to trust that you won't do the same thing now? Get bored after a while, find some random woman to hook up with and string her along until you dump me.”
Reed's expression tightened. “I was afraid,” he said flatly. “Afraid to stand on my own two feet. But I'm not now.”
I didn't point out that his 'own two feet' included a hefty inheritance that he was keeping. People raised in families like the Stirlings rarely understood what it truly meant to be on their own. The family was always there to cushion the blow.
He continued, “I was terrified that if I risked everything for you, I'd lose you and I'd have nothing.”
“And now?”
A new, more grown-up look crossed his face. “You motivated me, but I did this for me too.” He started to reach for my hand again but pulled back before our fingers touched. “I know I fucked up with us. Badly. And I know there's a chance this isn't going to work between us. Even if it doesn't, I'm glad I filed for divorce and stood up to my family.”
I felt a measure of relief. At least I didn't have that pressure on me. I steered the topic away from choices so he didn't ask me to make one right now. “What type of business are you starting?”
His eyes lit up. “If I can get this off the ground in the next year, I might be able to start bringing over some of the people at my old company who wanted to stick with me.”
The atmosphere between us shifted to something much more relaxed as he told me his plans. I could definitely see why his parents were so adamant that he take over the family businesses. It wasn't just that he was their son and they wanted to maintain the family part of things. He knew what he was doing. I didn't have the first clue about what it took to run a business, but even I could understand the way he laid things out.
The discussion took us through the rest of the meal and our check. As we stepped outside, the brisk air made me shiver and Reed put his arm around my shoulder, pulling me to him to share his body heat as we walked toward the car. I flushed, warming up enough that when I got into the car, I wasn't shivering anymore.
“Smells like snow,” Reed commented as he started the car. “Real snow.”
I nodded in agreement. “The forecast said it'd probably stick tonight. Just an inch or two, but enough that they're going to pull out the salt trucks.”
“People forget how to drive on snow after summer,” he said.
We discussed the weather until we arrived back at my place. He turned down the one-way street and stopped in front of the house. The street was empty; everyone either tucked inside for the night or already wherever they'd be for the next few hours.
Reed turned in his seat, reaching for my hand. He warmed my chilled fingers between his palms. “Thank you for coming with me tonight.”
I nodded, suddenly aware of the silence that reminded me how alone we were.
“I've missed you, Piper.” He reached up and brushed his fingers down my cheek, leaving a blazing trail across my skin. He leaned toward me.
I closed my eyes as his lips touched mine. His mouth was firm, but the kiss wasn't forceful. He waited and couldn’t help myself. I parted my lips, tilting my head to change the angle. There was heat there, the pleasure of skin sliding against wet skin. Then his hand slid up my waist, his fingers brushing against the underside of my breast and I pulled back.
“I'm sorry,” he immediately apologized. “I got carried away.” He brushed some hair away from my face, a small smile on his face. “I've been fantasizing about kissing you again for a long time.”
“I need time, Reed. Time to figure out what I want,” I explained. “I can't just jump back into bed with you. That's what got us into this mess to begin w
ith. I want to make the right decision. The smart one.” I pressed my hands together. “I need to decide what my heart wants. What’s right for me.”
He nodded. I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes but he pushed it back. “I understand.” He picked up my hand and pressed his lips to the back of it. “I'll wait. I owe you so much more than that.”
“Thank you.” I could feel tears prick my eyes as I took my hand back. “I'll call you once I figure things out. Thank you for dinner.”
As I walked up the sidewalk and front stairs, I told myself that my eyes were just watering from the cold. When I was inside, I forced a smile at Anastascia, who was sitting on the couch, but she wasn't fooled.
“Honey, what happened?”
“It was a good evening,” I said, pulling off my coat. “He explained things and apologized again. He told me that he served Britni with papers and stood up to his family.” I hung up my coat and kicked off my shoes. “He wants to be with me.”
“Isn't that a good thing?” Anastascia asked. “Isn't that what you wanted?”
I sighed. “I don't know, Ana. I really don't know anymore.” Why couldn't I just have some sort of neon sign flash in front of my eyes and tell me that I wanted to be with Reed? Life would've been so much easier that way.
Four
The crackling of the fire in the massive stone fireplace set the mood. The flickering flames were the only light to see by, but it was all I needed. A blanket was spread out on the wooden floor, the fleece inviting me to sit as it promised to be the softest thing I'd ever felt against my skin.
I did exactly that, stretching out and letting all that soft warmth caress my back and down my legs. The heat from the fire warmed the front of me and I realized I was naked.
I ran my hands over my flat stomach, feeling the muscles from years of athletics hard beneath my pale skin. Some women tried to fight their natural coloring by forcing tans, but I didn't bother. I had the kind of skin that burned in the sun and looked almost orange when I used the spray or lotion stuff. I'd learned that when my boss back at The Twilight Room had told me I was too pale. When I'd shown up the day after, he'd laughed and given me two days off to get myself back to normal. He'd never asked me to tan again.
“You're beautiful.”
A husky male voice attracted my attention as he stepped from the shadows. He, too, was nude, and the firelight played off of his sculpted body, sending a rush of heat through me that had nothing to do with the fire. He stretched out next to me, our bodies less than an inch apart, close but still not touching.
“We have all night,” he said. “And I intend to explore every inch of you.”
I shivered in anticipation. He raised his hand and let it hover over me, teasing. I could feel the energy pulsing between us, traveling that short distance from all of the places where his body was close to mine. When he finally placed his palm on my stomach, I moaned. A simple touch and he could melt me. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved this man, that I craved him, body, mind and soul.
His hand slid to my breasts, caressing first one and then the other. My nipples were hard before he even touched them, and then he circled them with his fingers, teasing the tips before dropping his hand to my stomach again. This time, it moved down and I parted my legs, eager to feel his touch where I needed it the most.
First his fingers ghosted over my inner thighs, almost light enough to tickle, and when I squirmed, he smiled. My hands came down to move things along and he shook his head. Without the fingers between my legs missing a beat, he used his other hand to gather my wrists and hold my hands still. I could've struggled against him and he would've freed me, but I didn't. Instead, I caught my breath as one fingertip ran the length of my slit, the sensitive flesh there responding instantly to his touch.
He slid his finger between my lips, and I sighed. It teased around my opening, circling it before moving up to gently rub my clit. I moaned, shifting my hips as I tried to get more friction where I wanted it. He chuckled and the sound sent a rush of arousal through me. When he lowered his hand and slid his finger inside me, it went easily. I was tight, but so wet that he found no resistance.
“So hot inside you.” He leaned over me as his finger began to move in a slow, steady rhythm. His tongue darted out, flicking against my nipple and I gasped. He did it again and then closed his lips over the pale pink flesh.
“Fuck!” I cried out, my back arching as he began to suck. Each pull of his mouth was a new torture. Each stroke of his finger sent ripples of pleasure through me. When his thumb began to work over my clit, I squeezed my eyes closed and waited to explode.
Then, suddenly, his mouth and hand were gone, leaving me dancing on the edge of agonizing ecstasy. I was so close and he still held my wrists, preventing me from doing anything to ease my own suffering. I opened my eyes, preparing to yell at him to return to his previous ministrations, but then I realized he'd stopped so he could settle himself between my legs.
“Yes...” I hissed the word in anticipation of what I knew was coming. He grinned, blowing on my sex before dipping his head and diving in.
His tongue teased me, gently stroking my flesh before his mouth pressed against the inside of my thigh. When he began to suck on the skin there, I swore. I shouldn't let him do that there. He knew my costume for the recital, though complete with tights, wouldn't prevent people from seeing a bruise-like shadow when I danced. I knew that was why he did it though, to mark me, to make sure everyone knew I was his.
Not that there was really any doubt. From the moment I'd chosen him, he'd never tried to hide that we were together. He didn't care what anyone else thought. Not family, not business associates. Not the arrogant social circles who clamored for his approval.
I wailed as his mouth finally moved right where I wanted it. The sound echoed off the cabin walls and I was grateful he'd brought me here this weekend. No neighbors to disturb. And with the noises coming from my mouth as he licked me, I had no doubt neighbors would've complained.
I didn't realize that my hands were free until I started to move them and found that I could. I buried my fingers in his soft hair, pressing him closer to me as I came. His tongue continued to dip into my pussy, caressing my quivering walls and pushing me into another orgasm before the first had completely faded.
Even as I came down, I found his body over mine, his cock nudging at my entrance. Our eyes locked, and he waiting a moment before he slid inside me inch by glorious inch. The motion was smooth, but slow; allowing me the time I needed for my body to adjust, but without completely letting me up. He changed angles, dragged right against that spot that caused me to catch my breath. In and out he stroked, taking me higher, my body tightening; I was already coming again.
He ground his hips against me, rocked into me, the base of his cock rubbing against my clit until I dug my nails into his back, begging him to stop.
“Too much, please, please.” Tears streamed down my cheeks as my senses went into overload. When he stilled, I gave a sob of relief. My muscle spasms around his cock kept me going, but the overwhelming feeling that I couldn't handle what was happening had faded.
“Piper,” he said my name gently.
I nodded, answering the question he didn't ask. I needed him to move. I was still shaking, but having him inside me but not moving was its own special kind of torture. I could only imagine how it felt for him.
We found a natural rhythm immediately, our bodies dancing with each other with every thrust. It didn't take much for him to drive me over the edge again, sending me to that place where pleasure bordered on pain. And still he rode me, my name falling from his lips with every stroke. I lay limp beneath him, my body unable to process a single additional thing. I kept my eyes focused on his face as he moved above me, into me, through me. I knew every inch of it, and still, I looked. I had seen this face in pain, angry, joyful. I'd watch his eyes flash with emotion. I loved this face.
I loved him.
The realization jerked me aw
ake even as my partner came inside me. My body was shaking with the aftereffects of the dream. I knew I'd come at least twice, maybe even three times, while I was sleeping, and I'd been in the middle of another climax when I'd woken up.
None of that, however, was at the forefront of my mind. No, what had me gasping and my heart racing was the revelation I'd just experienced while in the midst of orgasm. And I knew that's what it had been. Not a weird coincidence, but my brain telling me to accept what my heart already knew. My neon sign.
I was in love with the man from my dream and I needed to get him back.
Five
Even though it had come as a bit of a shock to me, Anastascia wasn't surprised at all when I told her I'd fallen in love with Julien. Instead, she told me, matter-of-factly, that she'd suspected my feelings for Reed were only a teenage crush that manifested itself as love due to the heightened emotions surrounding my return home for my reunion. I told her she was going to be a great counselor, but I didn't want to be psychoanalyzed.
She grinned as she finished her eggplant salad. “Well, you know where to find me if you change your mind.”
I rolled my eyes, but I knew that I'd probably end up asking for advice before this whole thing was over. As I'd proven over the past six months, I sucked at relationships, and I wanted to make things work with Julien. The problem was, I didn't know what to do next.
All day Saturday, while Anastascia was shopping for holiday decorations for my place, I sat on the couch and alternated between calling Julien and moping when he didn't pick up. I left more voicemails than a sane person would, stopping only when Anastascia came back.
We spent the night decorating my place to meet her high standards of appropriate Christmas decorations, but despite the fun I was having with my best friend, I couldn't quit thinking about the man I loved.
Things didn't get any better as the week began. I limited myself to a single call and a single text per day and then spent the rest of the day checking my phone. I was unfocused in dance and twisted my ankle, making it painful to even walk, much less rehearse. I taped it up and continued to practice on it until Wednesday when Madam Emilana told me to take the rest of the week off. That was the last thing I needed, more time to think, but she was insistent and I knew she was right. If I didn't rest it now, I could injure it bad enough that it'd impair my ability to dance in the future. Dancers were expected to push themselves, but there was a difference between auditioning, practicing or performing on a bad ankle and forcing exercises that I could put off a week. My recital of The Nutcracker would be the week of Christmas, starting with a Sunday performance. I had to be in top shape then.