10 First Kiss
Matthews kept their physical contact to back and shoulder massages for the next few times they were able to meet in his quarters, Kent gradually getting more used to being touched by him but never feeling excited by it as far as he could tell. Then one night, Matthews decided it was time to try a kiss after the massage. He told Kent what he was going to do and bent slowly over him.
Instantly, Kent felt trapped and panicky. He tried to say “stop” but the word seemed to stick in his throat. To his infinite relief, the Captain read his reaction correctly and drew back, smiling slightly. “I think, Lieutenant that this is your first ‘no’. Calm down and I’ll try again if you like.” Kent looked hunted. Matthews had a sudden inspiration. He rolled over on his back next to him and smiled. “It’s okay, Richard. I won’t kiss you if you don’t want me to, in fact, I’ll let you kiss me if you like.”
He glanced across at Kent, remembering how confident he had been before when he was allowed to be the instigator over the back rub. Kent looked startled, he had obviously not thought of their roles in that order.
He raised himself on one elbow and looked down at Matthews. The Captain had his hands safely behind his head and his eyes closed, quite defenceless and Kent found his tension dropping away from him, maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Perhaps he could try it once, and if it was really disgusting he would just have to say so and call a halt to the whole process.
Kent was surprised at the twinge of disappointment he felt at the thought. He realised he had come to enjoy his time alone with the Captain—well mostly. Come on, he encouraged himself, you don’t have to do much, just lean over and drop your lips to his, you can back off as soon as you like.
Kent began to bend slowly down, his eyes fixed on the Captain’s face. Abruptly, he dropped his lips on Matthews for a split second and jerked upright again. The Captain felt his nerves tingle all through his body but kept himself looking relaxed, hoping desperately Kent would do it again. Kent recovered from his sudden self-consciousness and bent over him again, slowly continuing until his lips rested on the other man’s. To his relief, they were not soft but firm and strong. He forced his own open and let his tongue lick quickly over the closed mouth. He drew back in instant confusion, shyer than any virgin girl. Matthews opened his eyes and reached out with one finger to stroke the side of his mouth. “Don’t stop now.” His eyes were deep and dark with suppressed passion and he wasn’t smiling any more.
Feeling his strength drowning in Matthews’ eyes, Kent lowered his head, lips parted. This time the Captain’s lips opened slightly beneath his own and the tips of their tongues touched. Matthews put one arm around his shoulders, drawing him tight against his chest and, with his other hand on the back of Kent’s head, pressed his mouth down more firmly on his own. Then Matthews’ tongue was in his mouth and he was kissing him with slow thorough movements, and Kent began to tremble. He didn’t have enough mental strength to pull away and he wasn’t at all sure that he wanted to.
Kent began to respond with quick darts of his tongue, hesitantly at first and then with growing confidence.
Now it was the Captain who was shaking, he was so aroused it was almost painful. He wanted desperately to touch bare flesh but the singlesuit uniforms were a seducer’s nightmare. Suddenly he rolled them both over so that he was on top, and reached for the fastener on Kent’s uniform, still managing to keep on kissing him. But the movement and the feel of warm fingers on his bare chest as Matthews drew down the fastener broke the spell and Kent pushed him away and sat up, breathing heavily.
The Captain was quick to apologise, “I’m sorry if I got carried away there. That was... well, really hot.”
“It’s okay. There were moments in that where I...,” Kent broke off, feeling shocked by his own reactions. What had just happened here? He had kissed another man, really kissed him, and it had not been disgusting, it had been... “I better go.” Self-consciously he refastened his uniform and stood up.
Matthews jumped quickly to his feet, fighting his desire to grab hold of the other man and kiss him senseless again. He made himself unlock the privacy seal to allow Kent to leave. “Of course. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” said Kent untruthfully. “I have to go.” He practically fled out of the room.
The next day Kent made a point of telling Corporal Hamilton he was available to join in a basketball match that evening, in the Captain’s hearing, letting him know indirectly not to expect him that night.
Though not really surprised, the Captain felt his heart sink, and made himself arrange a chess match with Simonsen. He had to keep busy. He wanted desperately to talk to Kent, but decided the other man probably needed some time alone. He would wait.