Cosmic Dissonances
Owen Bittner
Contents
iii..
iv.celestial dissonance
v.softly
vi.as One
vii.Jimmy Knew His Scriptures
viii.Baaa
ix.confessions of a Narcissistic Snowflake
x.Dragon
xi..even
xii.epitaph
xiii.Feather
xiv.Flight
xv.Fracture
xvi.his Vow
xvii.invisible GF occurrence
xviii.(leftovers)
xix.Ode to Zingiber
xx.Portrait, of i
xxi.potatohead
xxii.potatohead
xxiii.percipitive decay
xxiv.skin
xxv.they Said
xxvi.Wilt
xxvii.Wishing Well
xxviii.Words Convoluted
xxix.Dog
xxx.Paper Targets
xxxi.Resignation
xxxii.Haikus
xxxiii.Cinquains
xxxiv.‘busa porn
xxxv.The ABBY- hybrid short story/poetry
xxxvi.But You Look Fine- my personal experience with TBI
Cosmic Dissonance
By Owen Bittner
Copyright ©2013 Owen Bittner
Thank you for downloading this e-book
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this work, in whole or in part, in any form.
celestial dissonance
Dusk consumes with the closing of our eyes
against the appetite of the darkness
Stellar judgments stab at the bitter haze of regret
as uninvited dreams infiltrate our sleep
Awakened, viciously shaken, seeking that soothing
touch while knowing it is no longer there
Apathetic footprints imbedded on the moons face
a reminder of the presence long since gone
Encircled by bodies with not a hand to clutch
finds us contritely glowering at the heavens
softly
Fading to gray, memories grow small
Into the mist, barely remembered at all
Ghosts did haunt, now solace grant
Fictions in which we will not recant
Construct of our present selves remade
Liability of our past, karmas debt repaid
As ivy, up our sandstone core it climbs
Strangling verve, savagely at times
Lamenting desires left all but unsaid
Declared not to ears but on faces read
Future held what none could’ve known
Hearts turn leaden,
palpable futures blown
as One
The first contact of skin on skin
Hundredth time as the first, exhilarating
Gentle kiss on back of your neck
Smell of your hair, been all day waiting
Your reactions quicken my beat
Making love to you with a kiss, a touch
Sketching outline of your curves
Absence of words how it says so much
Warm breath down your spine
Stutter-breath affirming passion shared
Crazy for you when we first met
I was afraid, before first kiss was dared
Pulling close to you, skin on skin
Hand on your chest, feeling your heart
Fingers interlocked, legs mixed up
Melding as one, this is my favorite part
Jimmy Knew His Scriptures
Pope Urban Antioch crusade
Die or be saved
Muslims slain in the name
of the Word-
Reverend Parris Salem trial
Heathen in denial
Torture rack turn the dial
Light ‘em up–
Simmons White-sheet brigade
Cross bonfire raid
Slipknot hemp nooses made
Down in Paluski–
Adolph watercolor Aryan clan
Kosher Jewish ban
Master race purity plan
Ovens bursting–
Jim Jones scriptures observed
Refreshments served
Place in heaven reserved
Sent from Guyana–
Josef Fritzl basement Love-nest
Father knows best
24 years chained incest
sex Toy daughter–
Forgive them
for they,
like Jimmy, knew
their scriptures.
Baaa
Wrong or right
Tainted society painted
Stark contrast of Black and White
Labeled for ease
No cause for thinking
Just see what everyone else sees
Monochrome simplicity
Mute sheep blankly staring
Eagerly absorbing hates toxicity
Colors fading pale
Vibrant world turned dull
Black and White, Ahab and whale
Resistant to changing
A reordering of prejudices
While believing they are thinking
Division rules today
Perpetuated by the masses
Black or White, no hint of gray
confessions of a Narcissistic snowflake
Look at me! skillfully flying above
those inferior flakes,
Purest white of pristine perfection
Yeh- I’ve got what it takes
When winter is imagined I am the dude
they fantasize about,
Poster-boy of winter’s magnificence
“Oh how beautiful” they shout
Photographs of my chiseled features
adorning Christmas cards,
jealous much? Haters see me fallin’
they be hatin’ hard
Fred Astaire in the twilight, on the wind
lighter than a feather,
More graceful than a cool breeze
in summer weather
Look at the frozen water wishing they were me
Puny snoweyFlakes
Dragon
We promised we’d love always
Forever–yeh, like everything a fucking lie
Deceiving as the myth of a God
Breathed panting and sweaty intent to pacify
Always, our whisper of lovers speak
when lust ruled our empty hearts
Ever-more was a set-up of intentions
adoration became a deceitful farce
Our inadvertent lies would always be truth
addiction smiling down, again flying high
Choosing your Dragon ride over sobriety
counting the tics ‘til next fix, when you die
Our betrayal of forever was assured
brutally spinning our promises moot
Discarding intentions rampant in the gutter
trampled beneath a junky’s naked foot
Words necessarily spoken to fit the moment
forever was a bullshit promise in the night
You gave a smile when needle bore the hole
the strongest person I’ve known
- lost your fight
.even
Justified
Conscience petrified
Morality whore
Retribution
Hates’ prostitution
Saturated core
Sanctified
Bloodbath tide
Bodies torn
Execution
Foes fusion
.even
Epitaph
Wrong or right.
&nb
sp; Painted society
utter Black and White.
Monochrome simplicity.
Mute sheep staring
vomit hates’ toxicity.
Empathy sinking.
Reordering prejudices
believe are thinking.
Bright raped dull
Black And White
colors fade pale.
feather
Feet dangling wishing never to meet the ground, watching
as a sunrise Dali paints the waking clouds with
surreal brushstrokes of brilliant red and fierce orange
The world without hatred, stunning from my view up high
in reality an earth waking from a restless slumber
wearily pleading a ceasefire for the sake of humanity
Overwhelmed by the irony of this paradoxical moment
I am afforded a glimpse of such stunning sights
as I’m on task to make sure someone else ceases to be
Wishing to float forever never to touch down, anxious
over the viciousness expected against a person
I’ve never met taking all he is
and all he will ever be
Squeezing my lids tight
as a drop escapes
This moment in the scrapbook
of my psyche
How have we come to this?
flight
Darkness – void of sound, feeling,
and motion; a tranquil ethereal chill
has infiltrated from within,
not one of temperature but from
when something is
just not right
Trembling – overpowering and
violent – undermines me; I try to move
my body will not respond.
Slowly I am aware of a radiance,
shapes hover over me
focus is elusive
Voice – soft of studied empathy
and ambiguous dissociation recites
“You were in an accident…
you are on LifeFlight...
Stay with us....”
I return to Darkness.
fracture
incision Bad decision Blood soaked Love choked
dead tissue reminder
disfigured clown Joke of town Brain-dead Broken head
brilliant breakdown
pain comfort Insecurity covert Convincing liar Emotions fire
hands of her
love well Into it fell Don’t ask why Never show hurt Soul’s her dessert
deceived by trust
passionate backhand Random precision Eyes blackened
Beauty in the Breakdown
Ugly disfigured Clown
Picture me Broken
his Vow
He trusts in Dad to him keep safe
only to be abused by the one he loves
Wide trusting eyes searching for lost hope
slapped down with a leaden glove
Betrayed by the man meant to protect
now a beaten kid distrusting of everyone
Violence the old mans solution to everything
big man with an iron fist for his son
Has it down to an art, where to strike
broken bone heal, fracture easy to hide
Yeh, the clumsy kid fell of the swing again
You’re not hurt kid, only your pride
Takes his licks from pops like a man
Punching bag for a giant, his tiny body breaks
Vows to never be like this coward, this
big man with an iron fist
for his son
Invisible gf occurrence
Scientist girlfriend
Big beautiful brain
Particle physicist girlfriend
Particle physicist girlfriend
Gamma ray zap
Lab accident girlfriend
Lab accident girlfriend
Can’t see her anymore
Invisible girlfriend
Invisible girlfriend
Can’t see her anymore
Broken-hearted girlfriend
(leftovers)
Epidemic of the mannequins
placid faces’ painted
smiles,
faux compassion thinly veiled
apathy.
Heartbeat supplanted with a
ticking machine
counting,
bills extracted from account
overdrawn.
Sunshine warmth gold card
glow, leasing
identity
thirty months at a time with
zero down.
Accountability exchanged for
delegation of blame
to satiate
the seducers of defeat, Viagra
powertrip.
His midnight fulfillment from
Fuck-buddy surrogate,
emotional
disconnect to lone dinner, hot
microwaved empty
reality a leftover
marriage plate,
reheated.
Xanies with red wine chaser, hmo
self-medication dream
exchange plan, Pfizer
and a Merlot pharm
consolation, d-cell
lover date night
companion,
Questioning why she is
not enough.
ode to Zingiber
“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”- P.G. Wodehouse
oh minx of
Flaming mane’s passionate flowing
wedded with such a free and fiery spirit
Pollock phrases on fair skin glowin’
Helen of Troy and goddess Aphrodite
Elizabeth I and Cleopatra, Lucy I’m home
Timeless beauties dreamt of nightly
Exquisite splendor brings me to my knees
My sensibility off the table for an auburn woman
“Hair of the rising sun” to Cherokee
Leonardo di calls you bella testarossa
roux to Pierre’, Portuguese rovia, Ginger
Natura’s tribute with her Lily Gloriosa
Legendary sweet stealer of souls
each freckle another man’s heart taken
I surrender to an eternity of red-hot coals
Portrait, of i
scars, dead tissue reminders
of past misadventure,
some hidden – to visit
when I’m alone
ink, graphic skin narrative
of my private account,
picture-book story
for all to browse
eyes, wide angle recorder
of the humanity near,
witness of man’s best
and worst acted
mortal, active participant
of our human tribe,
vulnerable to fears
also to affection
journal, leather bound tome
of many tattered pages,
broken-back record
with cryptic entries
potatohead
Reality show disconnect,
escape artist
airwaves silver surfer.
Apathetic deference,
Fox News terrorists
assailing homes nightly
perpetuating hate and fear,
corporate kkk
crosses burning in
hd plasma color.
Wag the Dog of Bentham –
greater good of
military-industrial
patriarch,
plane folding house-
of-cards tower
inciting ten years of
deceit, hiding
in plain sight.
WMDs and clown
free-world leader
laughing stock
potatohead,
pentagon 767 missile
mis
direction
twin towers implosion
Afghan pipeline
twenty-first century call-to-arms.
Surrendering freedom
to parasite regime,
raping liberties –
Gitmo Roach Motel,
patriot Act prophylactic
blanket leavings us
cold
any way we stretch it.
War on terrorism
punch-line of
potbelly playground
bullies, wondering why
we are hated
while bitch-slapped
down off our
bleached pony,
rattling saber
Seppuku
with god approved
martyrdom.
Politicians consuming
the carcass of
society as
stepping stones for
political agenda,
gym class to M-16 PTSD
generations lost
chastity and
freestyle curiosity
replaced by kill counts,
taking flame to
paper-mache adolescence.
Guilt-cancelling yellow
ribbons for daughters
and brothers
the bill,
price of their pilfered
psyches payable only
when people
question why
Percipitive Decay
Crystalized expectations falling at once the same as and different to the others, bringing promise and renewal masking breakdown and destruction with a blanket of forgiveness and perfection. Scrutinized with a sense of hope(yet of) disdain in the knowing of inevitable melted decay of such beauty a parallel of being. Salvation of the forgiven in a time of despair when a smile makes a difference, an absolution of white for a barren world of our own design. Expectations of paradise shattered by the reality of an Atlantis imagined, a utopia for the dementia of those given to delusion of solace in a time of quarantine where touch is connection all but forgotten. Words as stilettos penning mortal wounds with insolent stares, implicit contempt dismisses the unwanted and unclaimed denying that we are all less than three steps from a box and steam grate. Silence the jaded intention a false condemnation as payback for indiscretions imagined stealing trust with a grin, killing others with longing as weapon of choice. New face chance meeting fresh hope to get it right this time, fresh layer of addiction to build a fortress to emotions and trust. Beauty invitingly bitter to touch freezing breath upon lips as chilling crush of anguish clenches a fleeting embrace, neither the snow or the flower have faith in forever instead consuming the moment fantasizing an impending spring in which the fluxing snow nourishes the blossom. Enticing symbiosis of selfish seasons.