Page 43 of The Courage To Love


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  Olivia resisted arguing with him. She found her blue cashmere wrap and protectively covered her body as she picked up her keys, handbag and laptop case from her desk.

  “Do you need anything else?” Fionn asked.

  She shook her head. Olivia felt her stomach clench. She worried about leaving her shop. Starting her own design label had been liberating but she had been unprepared for the exorbitant costs of a start-up and in recent months had begun to despair of ever being able to turn a profit. The financial side of the business was causing her many sleepless nights. What would happen to her now that her name would forever be linked with her wealthy father? She didn’t want to live in his shadow. She didn’t want his choices to tarnish her reputation.

  As soon as they were on the street, Fionn moved closer to her and took her hand, using his height as a shield from the photographers.

  “My car is this way.” Olivia allowed Fionn to guide her to a black Land-Rover.

  The driver opened the doors for them and she heard Fionn give the driver her address and for a fleeting moment contemplated whether she should trust him. There were several stories in the media indicating he was at odds with her father and the takeover of her father’s company was reported to be hostile. But why would Oliver’s wife ask for Fionn’s help with the funeral and other arrangements if they were at odds?

  While Fionn was busy talking on his cell phone, she absorbed small details about him. He dressed in expensive, tailored clothing that fit him to perfection. He looked like an A list celebrity with his polished appearance and impeccable manners. She forced herself to look away and reminded herself not to be impressed by his polished exterior.

  Within a short while, the Land-Rover pulled up outside a series of historic Victorian houses on a side street. The driver opened her door and she murmured a polite thank you before joining Fionn on the sidewalk.

  “It’s just you and Agnes Callan who live here?”

  Olivia could see the unspoken censure in every line of his body. She knew the large house had seen better days. Instead of taking care of it, Agnes spent all of her free time helping Olivia launch her clothing design company.

  “Yes, Agnes was thinking of opening a bed and breakfast but it is always just been her and I.” Olivia tried to dispel a feeling of defensiveness.

  Fionn dispassionately regarded the house. “Your guardian was asked to provide a home for you, not open a boarding house. Are you aware Agnes was given a considerable monthly stipend for that purpose?”

  Olivia stopped walking and looked up at him, keenly aware of the driver waiting in the car and a couple of neighbors walking by with their dog.

  She felt her body stiffen but managed to keep her composure. Lowering her voice, she said “I’ll soon be twenty-four and I choose to live here with Agnes. She is the only family I have. Whether you approve of the arrangement or not is irrelevant.”

  “It’s not about approval,” he held her gaze and she looked away before he said, “It’s about keeping you safe while the media embarks on a witch hunt.”

  Olivia walked up the path and unlocked the door.

  Stepping into the foyer, Fionn removed her cashmere wrap. The intimate gesture made her feel suddenly exposed, and a flash of defiance sparked inside of her. Olivia dragged a much needed breath into her tense body. As she stood in the shabby interior of the house, Olivia realized she had miscalculated. Fionn Lynch would not be easy to dismiss. He was looking at her like he wanted to consume her in one fell swoop.

  “Could you alert Ms. Callan to our arrival?”

  Olivia shook her head. “She is visiting her sister a few hours from here.” Olivia remembered their conversation a short while ago when she had to push Agnes into keeping her plan. She knew Agnes worried about her and wanted to stand guard.

  “Why would you choose to live here?”

  Olivia stood straighter. “This house has been my home since I was four years old.”

  Fionn looked around the interior. “The press will have a field day with photographs of this dilapidated place. God knows what Ms. Callan will choose to say in an interview.”

  “Agnes would never say or do anything to hurt me.” She could feel her protective wall pushing out towards him, blocking him.

  “Money has a strange way of poisoning any relationship. You would be surprised what she might be willing to disclose for the right incentive,” Fionn said as he held her gaze.

  “You’re wrong about Agnes.”

  Fionn took a look around the main level while he said, “I don’t wish to offend you, Olivia. Your father’s death came as a shock and the family is endeavoring to cope with the news of your existence.”

  Olivia tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t understand what you need me to do.”

  Fionn held her gaze and said in a clipped tone, “Attend the funeral to show your respect and begin to form some sort of relationship with the family so the speculation lessens.”

  “I can’t possibly do that,” she told him carefully.

  “As his money allows you to live a comfortable life, you may want to reconsider.” His words were clipped.

  Olivia met his gaze and could feel anger radiating off of him.

  “I’m not interested in his money.” Olivia told him.

  “Everyone has an interest in money; just not everyone cares to admit it. You may find it rather difficult to live and pay rent on the salary you are earning from a nearly bankrupt start-up.” His tone was openly confrontational but Olivia let it wash off her. She was used to having every aspect of her life scrutinized by outsiders.

  Olivia didn’t understand his fascination with money. “The funeral is for those who loved him, who shared their life with him. I have no place there.” Didn’t he understand the family wouldn’t want her to intrude at such a difficult time?

  Fionn faced her. “You were his daughter.”

  After a brief silence, Olivia said, “I need to think. I’ll put on tea if you want to go to the sitting room.”

  “I’d prefer coffee.”

  Olivia walked away from him. She felt tempted to just serve tea but decided against it. Moving around the old kitchen, Olivia mindlessly went through the motions of preparing coffee. But her thoughts kept coming back to Fionn. Being close to him, she couldn’t think. It was almost as if he overwhelmed her, causing her heartbeat to accelerate and every thought to leave her head. He was polished and darkly handsome. His hair, eyes, clothing, everything.

  She reminded herself not to let him bully her. She was now of age and could make her own decisions. No one could make her pay her respects for a man who clearly wanted nothing to do with her.

  She lifted the heavy kettle and poured the boiling water over the ground coffee while her mind tried to make sense of the situation. She felt his presence in the doorway and glanced up.

  “How do you take your coffee?”

  “Black.” Olivia wasn’t surprised. Nothing about him was soft or muted.

  Olivia handed him the rich coffee without looking at him. The aroma felt satisfying for a brief moment until her mind began toying with the idea of attending the funeral.

  Fionn broke the silence first, “You are named as his heir. You can longer fade into the background. Are you interested in seeing your face plastered over countless news stories with all sorts of conjecture about your parents’ affair?”

  Olivia smoothed her dress over her thighs while she contemplated her options. She didn’t want to risk attending the funeral but the media would persecute her for not showing respect for her estranged father.

  Olivia’s mind was rapidly exploring all of the possible outcomes. “I don’t know what the right thing to do is.”

  “I’ve already arranged your trip to London.” Fionn placed his cup on the table. “Trust me, this is in your best interest.”

  “They will reject me.” Olivia felt the tightness of her body and began to recognize the underlying fear of having
to face his family. It would be a nightmare.

  Fionn stepped forward and grasped her arm, pulling her toward him. “I know this is hard for you. But there isn’t much time and you need to do what is right regardless of how you have been treated.”

  Olivia could feel his words penetrate her fear and knew he was right.

  She could see Fionn was tempted to say something further but he resisted. Olivia could feel warmth spreading up her arm from where his long fingers held her captive.

  “Your brother won’t reject you. He is only seventeen and he is now without his father.”

  Olivia felt like the floor had dropped out from beneath her and she was free falling into unknown terrain. William didn’t seem to seek the limelight but Olivia had found his photograph online in the pages of some New York gossip magazine. And with the coverage of his father’s unexpected death, her brother had been photographed several times in the last day.

  “It seems so odd to have a brother.”

  “Blood ties can be strong. You two are quite alike.” Fionn stayed completely still as he explained, “William is in shock. He is young to deal with this. When he was told about you, it sparked his curiosity. The best course of action is to embrace the family openly and move forward.”

  She pulled away from Fionn as her mind struggled to make sense of the new information. Until this morning, she had thought she was alone in the world. It was how she always pictured herself. She couldn’t take in that she had a brother. The concept seemed so foreign to her.

  She asked him, “What is he like?”

  Fionn looked away as he said, “William? He’s a lot like Oliver. He goes to the same boarding school in London that your father went to. He is an excellent student, has a wide social network and is a good athlete.”

  Olivia simply nodded and looked out the window into the back garden.

  Fionn continued, “The media will assume Oliver kept you in the background to protect your privacy.”

  Olivia knew that he held all of the cards. She felt an interest tugging at her heart to meet her brother.

  “But you know the truth.” Olivia had the sense that Fionn Lynch knew much more than he let on.

  “I traveled with Oliver to Ireland when I was seventeen and he was trying to make sure that you were being cared for properly. Your mother had just died. I had the sense that he wanted you to have a good life but for whatever reason couldn’t be part of it. But I didn’t know the terms of the trust. He had just turned sixty and no one expected him to die so suddenly.” Fionn explained.

  Olivia felt as if shards of glass were being pushed into her heart. Her father left her to be cared for by a guardian while he was happily married with a son in New York. The last thing she wanted was an emotional meeting at his funeral.

  “I meant you knew that he abandoned me to live with a guardian all of these years.” Olivia said while carefully keeping any emotion out of her voice. “That he chose to have no relationship with me whatsoever.”

  For some reason Olivia couldn’t define, she wanted him to acknowledge the truth to her.

  “It’s getting late. You should pack a bag and come with me tonight to London and then to New York for a period of time.” Fionn placed his hands in his pockets, moving aside his well-tailored suit jacket.

  “I’m not willing to abandon my life for the foreseeable future for a father who couldn’t be troubled to form any sort of relationship with me.”

  Olivia waited for Fionn to acknowledge the truth of what she said and with each passing second she could feel her heartbeat accelerating more.

  “You can work from anywhere.” He said impatiently. ”I’ll settle your business debts so you are free to go abroad for a time.” His knowledge of her financial problems made her feel at a disadvantage.

  “I can’t let you do that.” Olivia felt his eyes on her.

  Fionn plowed on as if he didn’t hear her, “I’ll speak with your guardian this evening and sever the relationship. She can pack your belongings and have them shipped to New York or put in storage.”

  Her heart beat erratically as she said, “Agnes is all I have in this world. If you hurt her in any way then I’ll not help you. In fact, I’ll go out of my way to tarnish the Bolles reputation.” Olivia could feel anger spreading throughout her body. How dare he threaten her guardian?

  “You live in a room rented by your father. Now that he is dead, other arrangements will need to be made.” Fionn remained firm.

  “Agnes counts on the income. She needs it to pay her bills.” Olivia knew her health hadn’t been great the last couple of years and Agnes had turned down offers of work to help Olivia start her business.

  Fionn’s gaze pierced her as he said, “Come with me tonight and I’ll see to it that the stipend continues for the foreseeable future. As I’ve told you, you will need to come to New York after the funeral to help sort out the issues with the stock you now own in the company.”

  “And if I refuse?” Olivia watched in fascination as Fionn held himself in check. She could tell he was beyond angry by the tiny muscle flickering near his jaw.

  He didn’t reveal any of his emotions as he said, “If you refuse, your guardian will suffer a significant loss of income, your brother will feel betrayed by you at a very difficult time, and your life will be bandied about in different media outlets while the stock you own plummets.”

  Fear skittered down her spine. She didn’t want others to suffer but she knew that it could happen regardless of how hard she would try to pretend grief for a father she never knew. The media could decide to out her.

  “Is that all?” Olivia said quietly.

  Numbness infiltrated her body as she listened to his instructions about meeting him at the airport. She didn’t watch him leave instead she fled to her room to begin packing. She looked for her passport and then took a shower, dressed and methodically checked everything she packed for the trip. After calling Agnes and explaining the situation, Olivia walked into the foyer with her suitcases and noticed the car waiting outside. The driver came to the door and helped her with her suitcases and placed them into the back of the Land Rover.

  Her anxiety around rejection became heightened as she contemplated leaving her orderly life to throw herself into Fionn’s elite world in New York. How would she know who was an enemy or who would welcome her? It doesn’t matter if they reject you, she told herself. She was now old enough to create a life for herself.

  Walking down the pathway, Olivia glanced back at the boarding house and felt as if her heart was breaking. She didn’t want to leave the safety of the life she created with Agnes. Was she making the right decision?

 
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