"I'm making a big gesture." I tilted her chin toward me and brushed a soft kiss across her lips. "The least you could do is go along with it."
"Fine, but if I die, I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your days."
I helped her on to the rocky trail and held her hand as we made our way slowly up the cliff. Luckily, the path was lit by a few torches, so it wasn't like it was this creepy abandoned area that was booby-trapped or something.
A warm breeze picked up once we reached the ledge. Waves crashed against the rocks below us. I had to close my eyes.
"What are you doing?" Beth squeezed my hand.
"I forgot to tell you something."
"What?"
Shit, I was sweating. "I'm terrified of heights."
"Then why are we here?"
"You said you wanted crazy. You said my apology wasn't good enough, and let's be honest, you have absolutely no reason to trust me."
"All true." She looked nervously over the edge then back at me. "So what's your point?"
"My point is you need vulnerable."
She bit down on her bottom lip and released my hand.
"You don't need crazy." I sighed. "You want crazy for you."
Beth still refused to look at me.
"Heights terrify me," I continued. "If you had asked me last week what my biggest fear was? I would have said heights. Two days ago, I would have said Frank."
Beth's warm laugh made my stomach flip.
"Ask me what I'm scared of right now."
Beth's gaze flew to my eyes. "What are you scared of now?"
"You," I whispered. "I'm scared I'm not who you think I am. I'm scared that you really have convinced yourself that I'm some sort of hero, when we both know that's the last thing people would call me. I'm terrified that if you give me a second chance, I'm just going to screw it up. I'm afraid that you'll wake up, and not want me. That you'll decide I'm not worth it. Because the truth, Beth? Guys want to be fought for too. We want to be worthy of the women we love. I want to be the Romeo, Mr. Darcy, and Avenger. But those shoes? They're pretty big ones to fill, and although I love difficult situations, I don't like the idea that one day you're going to wake up and realize how damn beautiful you really are. You are worthy of those guys and more. I know where I land on that totem pole, and it's on the very bottom, underneath the dirt and worms and crap. You'll see me waving.
Beth laughed.
"I'm serious." I pulled her into my arms. "I'm serious about you. What would you say if I told you that you were the one that got away?"
"I'd say you're crazy."
"Mission accomplished," I whispered. "And what would you say if I told you I wanted more than a few days?"
"I'd say you're out of your mind."
"What would you say if I told you I burned for you? What would you say if I told you that even before this week, you consumed my dreams?"
Beth shook her head and opened her mouth to say something.
I kissed her roughly across the mouth. "And what would you say if I told you I was going to jump?"
"Jace—"
"I'm jumping. If only to prove to you that I'm going to start conquering fears, starting with jumping and ending with you."
"Jace don't—"
I couldn't hear her words as I jumped; my blood was roaring too loud, and the wind whipping by my face wasn't helping anything. The water slapped against my body as I landed, far away from the rocks and into the warm ocean.
I didn't have time to enjoy my accomplishment, what with Beth throwing herself off the cliff in such a fashion that I was a bit concerned she was going to belly flop.
Three seconds of cursing like a sailor, followed by mind-numbing screaming, and Beth splashed right next to me. She gasped for air, and then her hands were around my neck.
Holy shit. She was going to drown me!
"Beth!" I croaked, unable to actually breathe.
"Don't you dare," she shook me in her tiny hands, "do that to me again! I thought you were going to die!"
"Alive," I wheezed, "until you murder me."
"I want to murder you."
She released me. Thank God.
"But I'm too impressed by your speech and stupid death wish."
"Really?" My chest puffed out.
"Really." Beth swallowed. "So what now?"
"We get married."
"Be serious."
"We pretend to get married."
"Better." She grinned.
"And we get even."
"Oh?"
"I'll give it to Grandma. She knew what she was doing, but I hardly think the couples' therapy and Viagra were necessary to get our attention."
Beth gave me a doubtful look.
"Okay fine. It was probably necessary because I'm a man. Happy?"
"Thrilled."
"Inspired?" I pulled her into my arms.
"Not as much as you are." Beth wrapped her legs around me and jerked my body against hers.
"Three more days."
"Of the fairytale," I whispered. "Guess what happens at the end?"
"What?"
"The prince wins."
"And the princess?"
"She lives happily ever after."
"In a castle?"
"Apartment."
"NO deal."
"Beth…" I growled.
She released her grip on my body and started swimming for shore. "Come on, Thor. We have to sneak back into the hut without Grandma seeing us. You're supposed to be sick, remember?"
"Why would I go back to the hut when everything I want is right here? In my arms?" He reached out and gently caressed my hand, I shivered in response.
"That was a good speech." Beth exhaled.
I could feel her heart race as we swam us back toward the beach. Once we could touch the ground, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her, wrapping her legs around me in the process.
"I could love you," I whispered.
"I could love you too."
I finally gave in. I forgot about my career, forgot about prom, forgot about Kerri — I forgot about everything, purposefully, and focused, purposefully on the curve of her hips as I held her against me, on the softness of her skin as my lips brushed across it. I focused on the sound of her soft pants when my tongue licked the salt water from her neck.
Beth arched her back as I kissed down the front of her chest, causing our bodies to fit together perfectly. She was on fire, and I wanted nothing more than to remember this moment — since we'd somehow screwed it up so badly the first time.
She dug her nails into my head, touching part of the scar from the accident. And for some reason, I froze.
Something felt familiar.
Something wasn't right.
Beth. The accident.
Beth and the accident.
"Bye, Dad!" I called out and ran to the car. "Beth." I smiled. "I'm going to marry her someday."
I jerked back from her as if she'd just burned me.
"Jace?" Beth held my face. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"
I shook my head, unable to find my voice. It had been a memory. I'd been dressed in the same tux I'd worn to prom. What the hell?
"Jace?"
"I, uh..." I couldn't catch my breath. "I think I really may be sick."
"It's okay." Beth pulled me in for a hug. "Let's just go back to the hut, alright?"
"But—"
"Jace. It's fine, plus you look really pale."
"Right." I gripped her hand like a lifeline and waded through the water to shore. The memory was still there, I'd said her name, I'd gotten back into my car that night with her name on my lips. Why?
Chapter Thirty
The agent yawned. "So, the senator admitted his feelings. Good for him."
"No," Grandma sighed, "not good. You see, there was one thing I wasn't counting on happening, one person I wasn't able to…" she shrugged, "manage."
"You mean one person you couldn't control?"
"I prefer manage." She g
lared.
"Manage it is."
Beth
I didn't sleep all night. It had nothing to do with the fact that sex personified was snoring next to me. I was even partial to the snores. It had turned into my white noise, my soothing sound.
Something wasn't right.
I wasn't sure if it was me, if it was Jace, or if it was just the situation. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was the situation.
Everything had been going fine until things got heated during our moonlight swim. It was almost as if he'd seen a ghost. I tucked my knees under my chest and sighed. Was it me? Or was it something more?
I stole a glance at him, knowing that I was being the creepy girl that watched a hot guy sleep. I was totally pulling a Bridget Jones. The scar near his eye was more evident in the moonlight; it made me wonder where he got it? Football, maybe? Or getting punched in the face by Travis? I smiled to myself.
Two more days, and this vacation would be over. Whatever Jace and I felt for each other would be tested.
The experience had almost felt like something off The Bachelor. In fact, the more I thought about it, the more it seemed exactly like a reality show. From the dates to the excursions. I frowned.
I don't know why I didn't think of it before, but the minute the little light bulb turned on — I almost started crying.
She was Bacheloring us. And yes I was totally comparing my life to a reality show.
We'd had the romantic getaway, the action adventure, the silly couples' therapy followed by the whole vulnerable Jace moment, even down to the fact that Brett had shown up. Both Jace had I been so ridiculously played that it wasn't even funny — nor was it real.
None of it was real.
I'd gotten exactly what I'd asked for.
Something fake.
My money was even on Grandma putting Jace's parents up to the task of making him feel guilty. After all, he'd very openly written down on a piece of paper that he never wanted to let them down. Not marrying me would let them down.
I was a smart girl. I'd always been smart. Sadly, during the last week all I'd done was ignored my feelings and my gut when it had told me something wasn't right.
Jace and I, back in the real world? With cameras flashing and people all around us? The fairytale would fade into the blackness, and I'd be left — exactly how I'd started off. Alone. Only this time I'd have a broken heart on top of everything else.
I was letting my insecurities take control. But I couldn't help it, because it still didn't make sense. Why would he want me? Why would he look at me as if I was his long-lost love?
Jace stirred next to me. The blanket fell off his golden skin. It wasn't real. He wasn't real. Because in what world would a guy like him actually be interested in me?
I was about to break a promise.
Being as quiet as humanly possible, I went over to my suitcase, pulled out my phone, and grabbed my charger. I tiptoed into the bathroom and locked the door.
My phone wasn't completely dead, so I plugged it in and only felt a twinge of guilt when I typed in Jace's name.
Senator Jace Brevik.
Most of the pages that popped up described his perfect childhood, loads of money, and ability to charm the pants off just about anything that walked.
A few brief paragraphs about his ex-fiancée who'd accused him of cheating on her with paid escorts.
And then a news article from yesterday…
Sources close to Senator Brevik say he had this trip planned for months and is vacationing with family while he enjoys a brief respite from his busy schedule. His parents are expected to join him. Sources say last week the senator was seen going into a hotel with an alleged prostitute. Friends of the senator identified the girl as Beth Lynn, a friend in town for her sister's wedding. The senator also attended the wedding, serving as a groomsman for Travis Titus of Titus Enterprises.
That was it.
The rumor had died down.
Clearly, it had been fixed.
So why were we still in Hawaii faking a marriage? And why was Grandma still urging the cover up?
I clicked the link to the next article, this one from an entertainment blog.
This week's polls show that Senator Brevik's approval ratings are likely to take a jump if he settled down and got married. Sources say he's just sly enough to pull off a wedding in the near future. After all, the man isn't nicknamed slick for no reason.
Lies. They had to be printing lies. Right? Was Grandma in on it too?
Suddenly unable to breathe, I turned the phone off and started pacing the bathroom. What if he and Grandma were in on it? Was I just a pity case? Available? Easy? The crazy cat lady!
I stomped back into the bedroom and flicked on the light. "Get up."
"Wha—"
I threw at pillow at his head. "Get up."
"You better be dying…" Jace grumbled in a low voice as he sat up in bed and glared. "What's wrong?"
"Everything." Panic welled in my chest as I clicked open the article and threw the phone at his face. He caught it before it nicked his perfect chiseled jaw. Damn him. "Read."
"Okay." Jace held up the phone. "And didn't we say no technology?"
"We did," I agreed. "And now I know why you were so eager to put everything away."
Jace's eyes about bugged out of his head as he read through the article. Finally, he set the phone down and rubbed his face with his hands. "You believe this?"
"Of course I believe it!" I knew I was shouting but couldn't help myself. "Why else would you have stayed? You saw an opportunity and took it! You even have our parents in on it!"
"What?" Jace roared. "What the hell are you talking about? You think I planned this? You think I lured you here under my fairytale-voodoo magic and decided that, hey, you'll do? My polls really aren't that important. Geez do I look that desperate?"
I reared back as if I'd just been slapped. "So you'd have to be desperate to marry me?"
"No!" Jace yelled. "Of course not! I told you today how I feel. I mean it. I like you. I want a second chance with you. What do I have to do to prove it to you?"
"Let me walk away."
"What?"
"Let me. Walk. Away." I shrugged. "Out the door. Let me catch the next flight."
"Why the hell would I do that? Why would I let you get away again?" He looked panicked as he held his head in his hands. "I just found you again and… you want to leave?"
"Because, it's the only way I'll believe you. If you make me stay, it means you had it all planned out. If you let me go—"
"I can't do that." Jace shook his head. "If I let you go, you may never come back." He looked absolutely petrified.
But I was too! I needed to know I could trust him!
"Am I worth the risk?"
"I don't know if I could survive it, Beth." He rubbed the back of his head. "Something's off. Something's wrong."
"Am I worth the risk?"
Jace was silent, his eyes wide and thoughtful.
"Guess we're lucky you didn't fall in love, right? I guess you were right all along. In the end, one of us is walking away. Only this time, you're going to be the one watching, while I do what I should have done the first day I got here."
"What's that?" His voice was hoarse.
"Leave."
"Don't," Jace whispered, taking a step toward me. "We'll figure it out. Just don't walk away." His eyes flickered with uncertainty.
"Give me a reason to stay. Give me something. Give me truth."
Jace opened his mouth, but nothing came out. That was the part that hurt the most. He was able to give me the words when it was for his benefit. He was ready to do the big gestures, but when I needed him the most, he didn't pull through. He froze, because in the end he still wasn't sure about us, and if he wasn't sure now, he never would be.
"Let's talk about this," he tried again.
His smile made me sick.
"Come on, Beth, don't do anything rash. Just give me a fe
w minutes to gather my thoughts. You did wake me up out of a dead sleep, you know."
He looked so disoriented I almost felt guilty. Almost being the key word.
Ignoring him, I walked into the bathroom and started putting all of my belongings into my suitcase.
"Beth—"
I stepped around him. "Jace?"
Again, he had no words.
"Enjoy the rest of your vacation." I threw my clothes into my suitcase and zipped it up. The clock near the bed said 5:15 a.m. If I was lucky, I could catch the first flight out. Then again, I hadn't been lucky in a very, very long time.
"If you go—" Jace's voice cracked.
"If I go, what?"
"If you walk away, it's your choice. You're choosing to be afraid. You're choosing to walk away from us."
"Meaning?" I whispered, my back to him.
"I'm not going to chase someone who doesn't want to be chased. I'm not going to pursue a girl who doesn't even realize why she's worthy of a pursuit. I care for you, Beth, but in my line of work, trust is the number one factor that builds a relationship, and if you already don't trust me, we're doomed before we even start."
Warm tears spilled onto my cheeks. "I know."
The door clicked shut behind me.
Chapter Thirty-one
"Are you crying?" Grandma leaned forward over the table an offered the agent a Kleenex.
"Gnat, it, uh, flew into my eye."
"Both of them?"
"So she left?" The agent sniffled. "And it's your fault."
"Yes. To all of the above."
Jace
I about banged the door down before it finally opened.
"Three seconds before I murder you," Jake whispered, his voice hoarse.
"She left."
"Who did?"
"Beth."
"So what the hell are you doing standing here in front of my hut ruining my sleep?"
"I panicked." And I'd had a nightmare about prom, one where there was blood and I was in that same damn car. Where the hell had I been going anyway? And why was I saying her name? It made me sick to my stomach that I couldn't remember. I wanted to punch a wall. And then to be woken up in the dead of the night and see tears in her eyes? It had about destroyed me.