She relaxed slightly in my arms, her eyes big and trusting, and my guts twisted. I rocked into her as slowly as I could manage, sweat dripping down my face and into my eyes at the exertion of holding back. I continued to rock slowly, moving inch by inch into her until I came to the barrier of her virginity. I halted, a surge of primal satisfaction moving through me, the instinct to claim the woman I loved hot in my veins.
She hadn’t been with anyone else. Only me. Only me.
I pressed forward, needing to break through, to claim her in a way no one else would ever again. Mine. With one quick thrust, I felt her tear and pressed all the way inside her, shuddering with the hot clasp of her muscles. “Oh God, oh Lia.”
She cried out in pain as I was uttering the words of pleasure and I paused momentarily, clenching my teeth, so she at least had a second to get used to my invasion. I felt the heavy throb of my erection and my balls drew up tight in preparation for climax. I knew I wouldn’t last long. It embarrassed me slightly, but mostly it excited me. I was still in the strange grip of frenzy that had started this whole thing in the first place.
I thrust inside her in small movements, trying to be gentle but so caught up in the tight, wet bliss that I was only holding on to a string of control. Mine, mine, mine.
Annalia gripped my biceps, her forehead pressed against my shoulder, her breath hot and heavy on my skin, her teeth nipping out to bite me now and again. I wondered blearily if she was doing it to stave off pain, but I couldn’t form the words to ask if she was okay. The scent of her—sweet and musky—combined with the light fragrance of sex, of us, caused a burst of something hot and wild to move through me and then we were just a blur of thrusting pleasure and sound—our skin slapping, my own grunts and Annalia’s soft cries as I moved in and out of her. The first tingles of orgasm ran along my spine and seconds later, I yelled out as I erupted inside her in an intense rush of ecstasy.
Mine.
As I drifted back to earth, I looked at Annalia and she was blinking at me, looking stunned and so beautiful I could only stare at her in awe. There were tears in the corners of her eyes and a glance at my shoulder showed me she’d bitten me several times. I pulled myself out of her and she winced with the movement. I felt half out of my body, still half out of my mind, but it registered that she hadn’t come and my blood roared with the need to give her pleasure, too. I gently laid her back on the table. “Preston?” she asked, her voice sounding breathy and confused.
“Shh.” I pulled my jeans up quickly, leaving them unbuttoned and lifted her skirt higher on her waist, kissing down her flat stomach and gently, opening her legs as I knelt on the floor between them. She moaned softly and attempted to close them, but I kissed her inner thigh, darting my tongue out and she let them drift apart again.
“Oh, Preston,” she whimpered and I felt myself stir again, that wildness taking hold once more. My God, I’d never felt this way, never been so insane with lust over any woman—not ever even remotely close.
This was an experience all its own—new and wonderful and terrifying.
I licked up her thigh until my nose was right over her core and I used my tongue to circle her tiny swollen bud. She startled, lifting her hips to press herself into my face. I tasted the metallic tanginess of her blood, and the salt of my own orgasm, and something about it was so raw that I surged in my pants, coming fully erect once again.
I licked and sucked at Lia’s tender flesh, soothing and exciting it intermittently, using her sounds as indication of what she liked. Her hands gripped my hair and her moans increased in volume until she thrust herself into my face, screaming my name.
The satisfaction I felt was so intense, the arousal at pleasing her so overwhelming, that I stood, letting my jeans drop again and pushed inside her, lying over her where she still lay on the table.
Our eyes met, hers large and slightly drunken, and the beauty of her face stunned me as it always did, bringing me back to myself. God, what was I doing? I felt slightly crazed. “Oh, God, Lia. You must be sore. I’m so sorry,” I choked, trying to untangle myself from the grip of passion. I started to pull out of her, but she let out a resistant squeak and brought her legs around my hips, pinning me inside her with her feet digging into the muscles of my backside.
My lips tipped up, and I leaned my forehead on hers as I moved rhythmically, the storm passed, and just the sweet, gentle lap of the waves remaining. It felt so damned good. I could have lived right there in that moment forever.
She took my face in her hands and brought my lips to hers, and we kissed long and deep and slow as I pressed and retreated, pressed and retreated.
I felt her toes curl against the naked skin of my ass and I groaned into her mouth. Even through the haze of bliss, my mind felt clearer than it had the first time I’d been inside her, and I thought dazedly, I love you, I always have.
Pleasure built and I thrust more quickly, Lia’s thighs tightening around my hips, her tongue sweet and wet, twisted up with my own.
I moaned deep and low, pressing myself into her as my second climax hit. “Oh, God, Lia,” I breathed as I lifted my mouth from hers, rotating my hips to squeeze out every last drop of the tingling pleasure.
We lay there for a moment, my rasping breaths calming, reality slowly trickling back in. She adjusted herself slightly beneath me and I realized I was probably crushing her where we lay on . . . my kitchen table. Oh holy hell.
I pulled back, sliding out of her and she made the same small mewling sound she’d made the first time I’d pulled from her body. The first time. I ran my hand through my sweat-drenched hair, my eyes widening as I blinked down at her. I’d just taken Lia’s virginity on my kitchen table like some out-of-control wild animal. Like some plundering Viking.
I pulled my pants up quickly, looking around at the clothes flung everywhere, the small glints of the buttons that had torn from her shirt when I’d ripped it open, the overturned chairs I didn’t even remember pushing away from the table with such apparent violence that they’d tipped over. God, I hadn’t even heard them clatter to the floor and that wouldn’t have been a soft sound. My eyes moved to the windows and I was relieved to see the curtains were shut tight.
People might have been banging at the front door for all I knew and I don’t think it even would have registered. How could it? I’d been with the girl I’d loved for years. Beautiful Lia. My Lia.
My eyes flew back to her and I couldn’t read the expression on her face. She looked shocked, but her eyes were still lazy with satisfaction. The way she glanced at me was shy and unsure and her cheeks reddened as she pulled her skirt down and slid to the edge of the table.
I gripped her upper arms gently as she put her feet on the floor, wobbling slightly and gazing up at me. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, putting her palms over her naked breasts, biting at her lip, and glancing around at the scattered clothes. “We, um, we . . .” She didn’t seem to know how to finish that statement and neither did I, although a few things came to mind: lost control . . . went a little crazy . . . I didn’t know if I’d use those phrases because they implied that I might make a different choice if I’d been thinking rationally, and that wasn’t true. I didn’t regret what we’d done. I only regretted how we’d done it, or rather, the fact that her first sexual experience would always be remembered as being ravaged by a wild beast on the edge of a kitchen table. Jesus.
I felt ashamed. Her first time should have been in a bed with sweet words and tender touches. Her body should have been slowly and lovingly prepared to ease the way, not torn open by a thrusting, half-hinged savage. Fuck. What had I been thinking? Answer: I hadn’t. “Your first time shouldn’t have been that way. I’m sorry about—”
She put her fingers to my lips. “Don’t be sorry. Please don’t be sorry. I’m not.”
A sense of relief flowed through me, but my personal shame lingered. I should have controlled myself. That was my responsibility, not hers. I let out a shaky breath, nodded an
d kissed her again lightly. Because I could. Because she was mine. Because . . . she’d always wanted me to kiss her.
We gathered our clothes and dressed in silence. I picked up the chairs and returned them to the table, using a napkin to wipe the wood—I’d do a more thorough cleaning of it later so I didn’t embarrass Lia any more than necessary.
When I turned toward her she was attempting to close her shirt with the two buttons that remained, hanging loosely but still attached. I grimaced. There was a coat tree by the front door in the foyer and I went and grabbed a sweatshirt of mine hanging there and returned quickly, handing it to her. “Stay here. I’m going to go tell Cole you’re not feeling well and that I’m driving you home.”
“What if he comes in here?” She looked mortified at the thought.
“Tell him you got sick and your shirt was ruined. I’ll encourage him not to, though. He’s been drinking. I would have had to drive you home anyway.”
She nodded resolutely, pulling the sweatshirt over her head. It swam on her and was far too warm for the weather, but it would do for now.
“The restroom’s that way?” she asked, pointing toward the foyer.
“Yeah.”
She nodded, looking shy again.
“I’ll be right back.” I took one last look at her, my heart swelling with love, despite the awkwardness in the aftermath of our first time together, and left to find my brother. My brother whom I’d just betrayed by breaking our oath. Fuck.
A man is only as good as his word. And I was currently pretty worthless. So why did I feel so fucking happy? Why did I feel like instead of breaking my word, I’d kept some promise? A promise that had been buried deep inside my heart and was finally, finally seeing the light of day.
CHAPTER TEN
Annalia
The dirt road was bumpy and I felt the soreness between my legs with each jostle and jolt. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling and yet with each twinge of discomfort, I was reminded that that was where Preston had been and also felt the soft fluttering of joy within my heart.
Preston had made love to me. Preston wanted me. It still felt like a sweet, turbulent dream or one of the fantasies I tended to conjure as I walked somewhere far away and got lost in my own mind.
I stole a quick glance at him and though he was looking straight ahead, I could see that his expression was pensive and it made me feel insecure.
“What did you tell Cole?”
“That you’d gotten really sick, and I needed to take you home right away.”
I nodded. “Okay . . . thanks.” I wasn’t exactly sure what I was thanking him for, but it felt like the right thing to say.
He glanced at me and smiled, taking my hand in his and holding it for the remainder of the ride into town. “You’ll have to tell me where you live,” he said softly.
I directed him to my apartment building and doing so reminded me how separate our lives were, how little he really knew about me. Was he thinking the same thing?
He pulled into a space in the parking lot of my building, looking at it for a moment before turning my way. “We have to talk.”
I nodded, knowing we did but feeling anxious. “I know.” I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt, biting at my lip.
When I looked up, Preston was looking at me, his expression tender. “Come here,” he said and I did so quickly. He chuckled softly as I flew into his arms, needing reassurance, needing comfort, needing him. He’d swept me off solid ground, happily, wondrously, but now I needed him to help me regain some footing.
He whispered my name as he held me, kissing my forehead, my cheeks, my eyelids, and my nose. He ran his hands over me, but not in the same way he had earlier. This felt calm and tender, and I soaked it up like the sponge I’d always been when it came to physical affection. But this was even more pleasurable because it was coming from Preston. The intense longing I’d felt for him all my life was being quenched tonight in so many ways. I felt giddy and unsure and joyful and hesitant.
Finally, he pulled back from me slightly and said, “We have to tell Cole what happened.”
I nodded. “Cole and I aren’t together, Preston . . . we just . . .” I looked away, considering my words. “I don’t know, we’ve just sort of tiptoed around being more than friends with a few benefits but it’s never actually happened.” I blushed, not liking the way that made me sound. Sort of easy? The kind of girl who let a guy kiss her whenever he was in the mood but never demanded more from him? Or maybe just shallow? My feelings for Cole weren’t shallow, though. They just weren’t any more than friendly. If tonight had proven anything it was that Preston was the one I wanted with every fiber of my being. He was the one I craved. He was the other half of my heart.
He blinked at me for a moment, appearing slightly confused. He blew out a breath as he ran a hand through his thick, already tousled hair. “You waited for him, though.”
“I . . . no. He asked me not to give myself to anyone else. I agreed, but not because I was waiting for him. I love Cole, but . . . it’s you I’ve always wanted.”
He let out a shuddery breath. “Oh, Jesus.” The words were such a small wisp of sound that I barely heard them, even though I couldn’t have been much closer to him. He looked tormented as if my words had caused him pain. But he took my face in his hands and kissed me so gently and sweetly—thoroughly—that I melted into him. His kiss told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted me back. Finally. Oh, finally. When he finally broke the kiss, wiping a bit of lingering wetness on my mouth with his thumb, he said, “I think we have some time to make up for. A whole lot of it.” He tilted his head, seeming to consider something. “Or actually, maybe this is exactly where we were meant to start. Tonight. This is our beginning, Annalia.”
Yes. Our beginning. That felt right. As if time and circumstance needed to come together perfectly so that both of us were in the right place in our lives to start something special—something that was going to last where there would be no separations, no major growing up to do, nothing in our way. Nothing at all.
“It was . . .” I smiled slightly, teasing him, “a really nice way to start.”
He let out a breath and gave me a bashful half smile. Oh God, he was so handsome. Beautiful. “I can do better than that.” He winced slightly. “I should have done better than that.”
I grinned, kissing him quickly, letting my lips linger on his. “I can’t imagine better.”
“Me neither. Just . . . I can be slower.” He paused. “Maybe.”
I laughed and he did too, bringing his lips back to mine so I could feel the curve of his smile against my mouth. I love you, Preston Sawyer. I always have and always will. The words bubbled up inside me but there was time to tell him all the things I’d always wanted to say. This was our beginning, so we would have time. I wanted to make sure I told him at just the right moment. Maybe the next time I was curled up in his arms. Or maybe we’d walk through his property hand in hand. We’d stop under the huge oak tree in his backyard and he’d pull me against him and I’d say the words.
He smiled softly, kissing my nose and my forehead. “You’re dreaming again,” he whispered.
“Yes.”
“About what?”
“About you.”
“I’m dreaming about you, too, Annalia.” He kissed the side of my mouth, his tongue darting out to lick the place where I had a beauty mark as he groaned softly.
I smiled, turning my head so I could kiss him again, long and deep and then quickly once more, wanting nothing more than to stay tangled up with him in the intimate cocoon of his truck. I brushed back the lock of hair that had fallen over his forehead. “Do you have to get back?”
“I should. I’m supposed to be hosting a party.”
Remembering the barn party, my stomach dropped. The surge of jealousy I’d felt earlier hit me again when I remembered Preston kissing the redhead. “I suppose that redhead will be wondering where you ran off to.”
Preston blinked at me, appearing sli
ghtly confused for a moment, and then he grinned so suddenly that I almost startled. What in the world was there to grin about? He pulled me to him and kissed my neck, chuckling softly against my skin. “She kissed me. And I only let her because . . . I thought I was going to have to watch you kiss Cole and I was trying to distract myself. It wouldn’t have gone farther than that, though. I didn’t want her. I wanted you.”
“Oh,” I breathed.
“And obviously, it didn’t help lessen that.”
I pictured the frenzy of lust that had happened on his kitchen table. “No, I’d say not.” I bit at my lip. “So you won’t kiss anyone when you go back to the party?”
His face became serious, his eyes moving over my face for a moment. “No, I won’t kiss anyone when I go back to the party.”
I nodded, pressing my lips to his for a short kiss. “Okay.” I scooted away from him and smoothed my hair as much as possible. It still felt like it was in wild disarray, though I’d tried to fix it as much as possible.
“Do you work tomorrow?”
“Yeah. From seven to three.”
He nodded. “I should be done working by then. I’ll pick you up after your shift. Do you have a cell number?”
I blushed. We couldn’t afford the extra bill. “No, but I have a house phone.” I hardly wanted to talk on the phone to Preston in the same room as my mama, though.
He studied me for a moment, pressing his lips together as if he was displeased. I wanted to apologize but didn’t.
He brought his cell phone from his pocket. “What’s your home number?”
I gave it to him and he typed it in and then returned the phone to his pocket. “I’ll see you at three.”
I smiled at him and leaned forward for one final kiss. “Okay.”
Once I’d run up the steps to my apartment, I stood at the top of the landing, watching as his truck left the parking lot and drove out of sight. I wrapped my arms around my body, tilting my head back to grin at the night sky, feeling gleeful and happy, and deeply, deeply in love.