Page 46
Author: Tiffany Reisz
Wesley glared at Kingsley. He started to protest but Kingsley snapped his fingers in his face, cutting him off.
“I don’t like you because you sit there in judgment of us. I have seen real evil. I have seen the horrors of this world and even committed a few myself. You look at le prêtre and you see some kind of monster. If there is anyone on earth who has the right to hate him or to judge him, it is me. And do you know who I see? I see God. ”
“Søren is not God. ”
“He’s the closest thing to God I’ve ever found. He let his lover leave him and he took her back. She left him again and he would take her back again. He forgives and forgives and forgives. Mon Dieu, forgiveness is in his job description. It’s what he does for a living. He forgave her for spurning his love and welcomed her back with open arms. No punishment, no questions asked. When he metes out his punishments, they are deserved and they are fair. His acts of mercy are legendary. His capacity for love is never-ending. And you come along and see him putting a knife in someone’s chest and you scream, ‘Murderer!’ while the rest of us see a heart surgeon. ”
“Nice words but you’re the one who choked Nora so hard one night she passed out and hit the floor and had to go to the hospital. ”
“Oh, yes, that night. You mean the night she came to me and asked me to teach her how to do breath-play? The night we took turns on each other? I demonstrated on her. She practiced on me. That night between equals, you mean?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t accept that hurting another person is ever okay. ”
Kingsley lowered his head until they looked at each other eye to eye.
“You apologize for not wanting to hurt another person? Little Prince, I think perhaps you’ve lingered in our world far too long. There is no honor in what we do. There is no evil, either. You think you know better about what your fiancée wants than she does. You insult her intelligence and maturity and ability to make her own decisions. You insult her, you insult us all. ”
“I want her to be safe. ”
“You don’t want her to be safe. She is safe with us. You want her to be saved. You can’t save someone—”
“I know. I know. . . I can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. ”
“No. You can’t save someone who doesn’t need to be saved. ”
They locked eyes and Wesley knew Kingsley wanted to stare him down, make him blink first. Fine. He stood up and let Kingsley win. He’d go hang out with Laila or Grace, with anyone who didn’t loathe him. Even Søren made for better company.
At the door Wesley turned around.
“I want to help get Nora back. I will help if you’ll let me. ”
“Your hands are clean,” Kingsley said, sitting back down behind the desk. “Keep them clean. ”
“I know you think I don’t deserve her. Fine, I don’t. No one’s good enough for Nora. But at least. . . give me a chance to try to deserve her. ”
Kingsley sighed and sat down in the chair behind the desk again.
“Sit down, Wesley. ”
Wesley paused in the doorway and gazed at Kingsley suspiciously. Kingsley pointed at the chair and Wesley returned and sat down.
“What?”
“I want to tell you a story. A short one. ”
“Fine. Okay. Tell me. ”
“I have loved two women in my life. Only two. ” He held up two fingers. “A thousand lovers but only two loves apart from him. The first was a woman named Charlotte. I called her Charlie. ”
“Why?”
“I prefer women with men’s names. Satisfies a certain deviant side to me. ”
“Of course. Sure. ”
“Charlie, beautiful Charlie. One of the more sexually open-minded women I’d ever met. Anything I proposed she was more than willing to try. She was kind, too, caring, treated my staff well, adored me. But after a few months, I could tell she was restless. She wanted more than I could give her. She wanted to travel the world, have grand adventures, while I had to stay in the city and mind the Empire. Before me she’d been tied down to her job, her brother. Living with me in my world gave her wings. And so she flew away. ”
“I’m sorry,” Wes said with genuine sympathy. Losing Nora that first time had almost killed him, had killed him for a few months.
“I’m not. I wanted something different than what Charlie wanted. As much as we adored each other, we were not a good match. While grieving over my lost love, I went to Haiti. I met my Juliette and in her I found the other half of myself, the half I thought I’d long ago lost and had learned to live without. Had I never met, loved and lost Charlie, I never would have met, loved and kept Juliette. My loss was the key to my greatest gain. ”
“Yeah, when God closes a door He opens a window. I’ve heard it. ”
“God or no God, it’s true. Welcome to the real world. Shit happens. You get over it. I don’t even miss Charlie and in my more honest moments I know she doesn’t miss me, either. You grow up. You move on. You find someone new. And for God’s sake, you don’t ask the first woman who lets you fuck her to marry you. ”
“Shit happens? Move on? This is your big life advice?”
“It’s good advice. I take it myself. I suffered for years before I found real love with Jules. ”
“Real love? If it’s real love, then where is she? I don’t see her anywhere. ”
“She would be with me if I allowed it. I sent her away. ”
“Romantic. ”
“I sent her away for her own good. That should sound familiar. ”
“Sounds familiar and stupid,” Wes said, his anger rising. Søren lent Nora to Daniel for a week. He shared her with Kingsley. Kingsley sent his Juliette away for God knows what reason.
“It wasn’t stupid to send Juliette away. ”
“Why? Why is it right for you to send away someone you love? Trust me, I’ve been sent away. I know what bullshit that is. Søren tells me I’m paternalistic with Nora because I want to protect her. You act like I’ve committed some capital offense because I want her safe. Why do you get to decide what’s good for Juliette if I can’t decide what’s good for Nora?”
“It’s an entirely different situation. Worlds apart. ”
“How is it any different? Why do you get to be paternalistic and I don’t?”
“Paternalistic is the right word for it. Juliette is pregnant. And yes, in case you were wondering, it’s mine. ”
Wesley couldn’t speak. He just sat and stared at Kingsley. And Kingsley didn’t speak, either. He rubbed his chin with two long and elegant fingers, lines of worry crossing his brow.
“She told me after you and your fiancée ran off together. I received a threatening piece of mail. I couldn’t take any risks with Juliette. I sent her away to keep her safe. That is the one regret I do not have about this situation. ”
Wesley struggled to find the words, any words, right or wrong to say. He could only come up with one.
“Congratulations. ”
Kingsley gave him a look of profoundest shock.
“Congratulations? That’s what you have to say?”
“Well. . . yeah. . . kids are great. What do you want me to say? You’re going to be a father. Congratulations. ”
“You aren’t horrified at the prospect of a man like me being a father?”
“I have a little trouble imagining you changing diapers. But you have money. You can hire someone to do that part, I guess. No, not horrified. Why would I be?”
“Because of what I am. . . what I do. . . ”
“Nora’s like you,” Wesley said, hating to admit it but knowing it would be a lie to pretend she was anything other than what she was. “I don’t think her being kinky means she’d be a bad mom. She’s great with kids. She’ll be an amazing mother someday. ”
“She does not want children. ”
“She might change her mind. Once things settle down, once we’re married and—”
“Trust me on this. . . she does not want children. She had her chance once. She didn’t take it. ”
Wesley’s eyes bored into Kingsley.
“What are you saying?”
“I am saying. . . ” Kingsley leaned forward and spoke slowly. “She had her chance. I know she had her chance because that child was also mine. Your fiancée got pregnant, she realized she was pregnant and, within two days, she wasn’t pregnant anymore. So before you entertain another fantasy about nurseries and nannies and a glowing Nora Sutherlin swelling with your child, know this—she does not want children. And if you do, then you should very much reconsider your choice for chatelaine. ”
Wesley felt something break—something light and small, no bigger than a soap bubble. It burst in the air in front of him and evaporated into the ether. He didn’t know what it was—a hope or a dream or perhaps merely a wish—but it was gone now, gone forever.
“She told me. . . ” Wesley began, and stopped, waiting for his voice to steady itself. “She told me once why she trusted you. I didn’t trust you. You sent her on all those jobs. Sent this five-foot-three woman to strange houses and hotels with nothing but a riding crop to protect her. You sent her into the bedrooms of these rich and dangerous men. I told her she shouldn’t do it, it was dangerous, she could get killed. You two fought on the phone all the time. Fought and flirted and plotted and schemed. I asked her why she trusted you. You know what she said?”
“Enlighten me. ”
“She said that you were like the brother she never had. She said that yes, you two fought all the time, but only in the way siblings fight. She said that at the end of the day she knew you would never put her into real danger. You could punch her in the arm and pull her hair because you were her big brother but if anyone else tried it—”
“I would destroy them. ”
“Yeah. And then she said that she knew you were family because only family forgave each other like you had to forgive her. I asked her what she did to you that was so awful. She said she took something from you, something you wanted, and you forgave her for it, anyway. Now, I don’t trust you, and I don’t trust Søren, but I’m trying to trust Nora. So I’m going to trust that she was right about you when she said that even when you two didn’t like each other, you still loved each other. Every now and then my father and I get into nasty fights. Usually on days ending in Y. But at the end of that day, he’s still my father and he’d still burn the world down to save my life if he had to. Nora says it’s the same with you. ”
Kingsley didn’t speak and for that Wesley could have kissed the man. He’d had enough of that suave French accent and that patronizing tone.
“I’m sorry for what happened with you and Nora. I wished she’d told me the whole truth. Then I could have told her that I don’t hate her for it, that I don’t judge her,” Wes said, wishing he could have been there for her back then. Maybe he could have talked her out of it.
“She’ll never be the wife you want her to be,” Kingsley said.
“You know what, I don’t give a fuck about that right now. I just want her safe. You get that?”
“More than you can possibly imagine. ”
“Are you going to get her back? Or are you going to make a liar out of Nora for saying she trusted you like family?”
“I will get her back even if it kills me. ”
Wesley started to say something but heard the front door slamming and feet running.
Grace appeared in the doorway out of breath and shaking.
“He’s gone,” she panted. “He left you a note in the desk, but he’s gone. ”
Kingsley nearly ripped the desk drawer opening it. He pulled out a white sheet of paper, barely glanced at it and dropped it on the desk.