Holden let out a small growl that sent shivers over her skin. “I think you are probably right on that account. The fucking humans like to blame the shifters for everything, though we are the ones locked up in cages, while they commit the atrocities that feed into the nightmares of the public they pretend to protect.”
She licked her lips, wanting to defend her people, but couldn’t. She’d seen the bloodshed and pain that had resulted in the unification of humans after the Verona Virus had been wiped out. The government had created a fourth branch—the SAU—that worked outside the checks and balances the other three had fought to maintain. The rights of the people weren’t what they had been before she’d been born.
Yet, she’d been told only the worst about the collared shifter in front of her and those he represented.
“I’m human, Holden. I shouldn’t be here.”
He growled again. “You were human, Ariel. That’s what we need to talk about.”
Her head ached, and her ears buzzed. What he’d said couldn’t be right. She’d heard him say something similar earlier, but it was wrong. It had to be.
“Shifters are born, not made,” she rasped. “I’m human. I need to go home.”
“You can’t go back to where you came from, Ariel. For now, this is your home.” He didn’t look too pleased about it, but then again, neither was she.
“You’re wrong. I’m going home.”
He took a deep breath, truly looking into her eyes for the first time.
“Ariel, to save your life, I had to turn you.”
She shook her head and tried to get up. Her body hurt, but far less than it should have considering her injures. “Leave me alone. You’re crazy. I’m human and nothing can change that.”
“A bite of an Alpha or a mate can change that.”
She blinked. Nope. Not going to believe that.
Holden ran a hand over his face. “Fuck. I’m doing this all wrong. You were dying, Ariel. Dying and in pain, and I did the only thing I could do.”
She shook her head, trying to remember what that other man—or was it wolf—Soren, had said. “You can’t make people wolves.”
“We’re not supposed to, no. But I had no choice.”
“I’m not a shifter! I’m human!” Her hands shook and her mind whirled, unable to get a hold on what she thought, what she wanted to think.
He gave her a sad smile. “You didn’t die from the bite, Ariel, so yeah, you’re a shifter. There’s still a small chance you won’t make it through your first shift, but you’re not human anymore.”
She tugged on the sheet and tried to get off the bed. “Seriously, if this is your way of telling me I’m one of you, you suck at it. You can’t just tell someone you’ve bitten them, and that I could still die if I try to shift. It doesn’t work that way. You’re supposed to ease into it. Or you know, not bite someone!”
He gripped her arm and she froze. “I’ve never turned another person, Ariel. So yes, I’m probably going about this wrong, but you’re making it hard to keep my thoughts in a straight line.”
She swallowed hard at the look of his hand on her skin. Her body felt…off…and she didn’t know why. “I want to go home,” she whispered. She wanted to wake up and know this was all a dream, a nightmare. What he said couldn’t be true. She wasn’t a shifter. She was human. She had to be.
Holden, crouched near the bed, reached out and cupped her face. The action seemed to surprise them both from the look in his eyes. “Let me begin this again. Ariel, you were almost dead in our forest. Not only would the humans have blamed us wolves for what had happened to you, I couldn’t let you die like that.”
She licked her lips, her mind going in a thousand different directions. “Why? Why couldn’t you just let me die?” Not that she wanted to die, contrary to her first thoughts when she’d woken up. She wanted to know why this man, this wolf, felt he had to break his law according to the other wolf, Soren.
“You’re my mate,” he said simply. Only it wasn’t that simple.
“You’re crazy. You are fucking batshit crazy.” She tried to pull away, but he held her in place. The feel of his hands on her arms, holding her so that she couldn’t move, caused her to panic as the memories of what the doctors had done to her smashed into her consciousness. “Let me go.” She’d meant for her voice to sound firm, only it came out a broken mess of a whisper.
“Fuck,” he muttered then let her go. Only she didn’t move once she had the opportunity. “I’m sorry. God only knows what those bastards did to you, and me grabbing you like that didn’t help. ” He raked a hand through his hair. “Okay. Let’s take this one step at a time. We’ll get you cleaned up and changed so you’ll feel a little less grimy.” He wrinkled his nose. “The smell of blood is a little much.”
She could smell it herself, and she tried not to think about how much more intense it smelled than before. She was not a shifter.
“I’ll explain everything once you’re clean and have food in you.” He nudged her chin with his knuckle and she met his gaze. “You’re my mate, Ariel. You don’t have to believe that right now, but you’ll feel the connection.” He frowned. “At least I hope you will. We’ll deal with what that means at another time, but first, let’s get you cleaned up.”
She blinked. “You changed me. Is that what you’re saying? Because if that’s true, you didn’t give me a choice.” She ran a hand over her chest. “I…I don’t know how I feel about that.”
He winced but didn’t defend himself. “Shower, Ariel. Now.”
“Don’t order me around.”
“I’m the Alpha, siren. You’ll have to get used to listening to my orders.”
“Siren?” she asked, her head spinning.
“It was either that or mermaid.” He shrugged then picked her up, holding her close to his chest.
She let out a yelp and wrapped her arms around his neck so she wouldn’t fall. “I can walk,” she snapped.
“Can you?” he asked in that annoyingly arrogant tone.
She actually wasn’t sure she could walk at the moment, but that didn’t give him the right to pick her up wearing only a sheet. She didn’t even know this man. Mate or not.
Jesus, what was going on in her mind?
Holden strode to the bathroom, but she kept her attention on the space around her. The place looked like a small cabin with dated furniture and electronics. She’d never been to a shifter compound before and hadn’t known what to think of it. Right then, though, she didn’t want to think of it. Instead, she needed to find a weapon and get the hell out of there. He might say she was his mate, but she didn’t miss the fact he hadn’t said she was safe.
He set her down on the bathroom counter, the sheet safely tucked around her. “What are you doing?” she asked, her throat still a little raw.
“I’m getting you cleaned up. I’d let you soak, but we need to get the filth off of you and we don’t have enough hot water for a long bath anyway.”
She shook her head, trying to clear it. “Why don’t you have enough hot water?”
Holden looked at her like she was crazy. Considering she was trying to have a normal conversation with a shifter who claimed she was his mate while she wore only a sheet and was on the hunt for a weapon, maybe she was crazy.
Her hand slid over to the hair shears lying on the end of the bathroom counter. They weren’t large, but they were at least something. For a moment, she thought his gaze had caught the movement, but she wasn’t sure.
“The SAU regulates our hot water supply.” He snorted. “They regulate everything. I might be Alpha, but I don’t have small children who need a warm bath while I don’t. So I don’t take up much of the supply. Now come on, let’s get you out of that sheet and in the shower.”
Before she knew what she was doing, she had the scissors at his throat and her foot on his hip. She hadn’t known she could move that fast. In fact, she’d never moved that fast—not even in all the fights she’d had in the orphanage as a kid.
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He let out a sigh, which surprised her considering the position they were in. “You don’t have to fear me.”
“Excuse me? You’re a freaking shifter, and I’m not supposed to fear you? No. I don’t think so. I don’t know you, and now you want me naked in a shower? I had to be naked, dirty, and strapped down for those bastards. I’m not doing the same for you.”
He thrust his hand out and took the scissors out of her hand, throwing them in the other room before she could blink. “We will discuss what the butchers did to you soon. I’m curious as to why they would study you, though I have a feeling it is just one more thing in their long line of demented procedures. As for getting you in the shower? I’m a wolf. We do not care about nudity as much as humans do. We need to be naked to shift or we’ll lose our clothes. We’re not perverts or whatever you think we are. But we do respect the modesty of others if they so require it. As for you at this moment, you can’t stand on your own. I know you think you can, but you’re weakened from what they did to you as well as the bites I had to make to save your life. I am not going to cop a feel or pound you against a wall to have a taste of you. I have more control than that. However, I’m also not going to ask a female to walk in here and help you. You’re my mate, and my wolf won’t allow another in the room with you in your fragile state—even a woman who is sexually attracted to men.”
She never thought she’d ever hear so many words come out of this man’s mouth all at once. She also had no idea how to take anything he’d just said.
“Set me on the floor or something so I can wash off,” she said, her voice firmer than she thought possible. “I’m strong, Holden. Stronger than you think I am. I won’t let you take over my life.” It was a life, she knew. Oh, she was strong, but she didn’t know about the world of shifters and everything that life entailed. She had a feeling she was as far out of her depth as she could possibly be.
He tilted his head, looking so much like a wolf she had to blink. “You might be strong, Ariel, but you are not as strong as me.”
“Bullshit. If you say I’m a wolf like you, then I’ll learn to be strong.”
He looked surprised for a moment then nodded. “And I will teach you to take care of yourself.”
“I can already take care of myself.”
“Then I will teach you how to take care of your new self. Because, Ariel, your life has changed; every decision you make from here on out will affect more than just you. I will protect you, however. Know this.”
“I can protect myself.” If she kept saying it, then maybe it would be true. She couldn’t rely on him, not and still remain who she was.
He let out a low growl that made her shiver in all the right places. Or wrong places, rather.
“We can do both.”
She wasn’t sure what he meant, but she had a feeling she’d soon find out. Nothing made sense, and she knew this was only the beginning. Her world had shifted, as soon, according to him, so would she.
What did this mean, and what the hell was she going to do about it?
She was Ariel Sands, orphan, Test Subject, and able. Only she wasn’t sure if she was anymore. If she weren’t human, if what Holden had said about mates was true, then who was she?
Chapter 3
“This is crazy. I shouldn’t be here.”
Holden let Ariel continue her tirade as she sat on a stool in his kitchen. The fact that his mate sat in his home while he prepared food for her was not lost on him. However, he knew he didn’t have time to dwell on that fact. He not only needed to ensure Ariel knew that this would now be her future, but he had to protect his Pack.
A Pack that, at this moment, knew Ariel sat in his kitchen.
He might be Alpha, but there were things he couldn’t keep secret from them. Having a mate and knowing she had been human was one of those. People had seen him walk inside his home with a naked and bleeding Ariel in his arms. The rumors would have started there with Soren outside trying to alleviate some fears.
Soon, Holden would have to venture outside and deal with the situation—preferably with Ariel on his arm. It wouldn’t matter that she wasn’t marked, collared, or branded at the moment—but he needed to show a united front for his people. If they saw him falter, it would hurt their Pack.
He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. He didn’t want to have to tell Ariel what would come next—the branding and the collaring. It was a torture she shouldn’t have to face, but he would have no choice.
“You’re not even listening to me.”
Holden opened his eyes, put down the spoon he’d been using for the pancake batter, and walked over to Ariel’s side. It would have been nice to play domestic and act as if things were normal. But they were far from normal, and sitting around pretending that things would be would only hurt the situation in the end. He turned her stool so she sat between his legs, small, terrified, and still somewhat human. Honestly, he had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew what he needed to do.
“Ariel, your life has changed. You can’t go back to what you had before.”
Her eyes clouded. “I knew I wouldn’t be able to once the SAU took me. But I can’t stay here, Holden. I’m not a wolf.”
He cupped her face. “You will be soon, Ariel. In fact, I can already scent the change on you.” He hadn’t been able to scent the sweetness of her before under the grime of blood and dirt. But now that melded with the underlying scent of wolf on her skin.
He liked it.
She pulled away, her eyes wide. “You can’t just tell me these things and not explain. You can’t just tell me I’m your mate and expect me to jump on board. It’s barbaric, Holden. I’m not like you.”
He brushed his thumb along her cheekbone, the soft skin addicting. He never thought he’d have a mate. After all, he was already in his forties, living in a world where finding someone his wolf would have was a rarity. The fact that he’d found Ariel, a woman his wolf wanted and, therefore, the human half of him would learn to care for and love, was surprising, to say the least.
“Ask me what you want to know, and I will tell you what I can.”
Ariel searched his face and let out a breath. “Why do you think we’re mates?”
“Because my wolf told me you would be perfect for us. He chose you.”
She looked at him, obviously skeptical. “So this wolf inside you just goes around picking people and forcing them to mate? That’s a little weird.”
He snorted and shook his head. “It’s not always like that. Not for shifters in our den, nor in the other dens from what I know. Others do not find their mates like that. Most of us marry and mate the same way humans do. We find someone who is compatible, fall in love, and our animals eventually fall in line. It’s not magical—it’s not fate, and there is no real mating bond like in some of the stories humans like to write about us.”
Ariel grimaced. “I might have read a few of those.”
“Humans have a fixation with us because they aren’t allowed to know the real shifters. So they make up stories. I’ve read a few and laughed my ass off. But in reality, our wolves are a part of us, but not the full part.”
“Then why did your wolf decide that I was yours? It doesn’t make any sense.”
This was where it became tricky. Until she shifted and found her own wolf, it wouldn’t connect fully to her, but he’d try. “Some wolves find their mates before their humans have time to fall in love. It’s not love at first sight, but instinct.”
He the out a breath he’d been holding as she frowned.
“I am Alpha, Ariel. I cannot mate with a woman my wolf doesn’t choose. In the past, it wasn’t a problem because there were so many of us spread out, our wolves would eventually find someone. Locked up in cages as we are, it limits us.”
Her eyes widened. “So you’ve never found a mate before now?”
He shook his head. “I haven’t. I found a couple women in my life I could have maybe married, but could never mate. And I would never put
my Pack stability at risk being with a woman who couldn’t survive the role as an Alpha’s mate.”
“Survive? What the hell do you mean?”
He closed his eyes. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to put it like that. “You might not realize it, but you’re fucking strong, Ariel. You had to be to survive what you did. When it’s time, you will find your wolf is strong, as well. My wolf just happened to see it before anyone else did.”
“I’m not sure I believe that,” she whispered.
“That you’re strong? Or that you’re my mate?” He held his breath, waiting for her answer. He didn’t know this woman beyond what she’d told him, but damn, it would hurt if she pushed him away outright. She was hope of something more for him, even if he wasn’t quite sure what that was.
“Both maybe?” She sighed. “How do you know if someone is mated? Is it like a marriage or something? What does it mean? And it scares me that I’m even talking about this, you know. Last time I checked, I was a human trying to find my way in the normal world. This is all a little unbelievable.”
His lips twitched at that. There was no way the world any of them lived in was normal anymore, but he’d let her think that for now. She’d find out the truth soon enough.
He pulled back and held out his forearm. Her gaze traveled to the brand and ink there. When her fingers traced over the ridges of the tribal wolf he sucked in a breath. She moved her hand back, her eyes wide.
“Sorry! Did I hurt you?”
He swallowed hard and shook his head. “No one really touches it,” he said softly. “It’s okay. You asked about mating, and this is part of it. When we are mated, we get the right side of the brand inked with the tattoo that we choose to signify our pair. The life side of the brand is a tattoo of our particular Pack. The brand itself…well it is different than just a tattoo. Each wolf, bear, and cat wears a brand to signify their species.”