Chapter Eight
It was dark when I awoke, although as I peered blearily at the curtains I could just make out a dingy light, so dawn must have been on its way. I fidgeted, trying to get back to sleep, but something had disturbed me. It felt as if I’d been reluctantly dragged from a deep, dreamless sleep. I’d definitely not woken naturally, so I quickly glanced around the room, half expecting to see Daniel, but my room was empty and the house was silent. I wondered if Eva had come back, or if she’d gone back to her place. I felt my cheeks flush at the idea of being home alone with Daniel and immediately pushed the feeling away.
I relaxed back into my pillows, closed my eyes and a second later heard a rustling sound, a hacking cough and a weak moan. I shot up in bed, wide awake. What the hell was that?
I cried out, as I realised I was no longer in my room. I had been transported to a private hospital room, which was dimly lit with night lights. An old man was lying in bed. He looked shrunken, with dark hollows around his grey eyes, sadness etched into the lines. His skin had the typical yellowish tone of alcohol abuse, and as he shifted, he moaned my name.
‘Jessie, Jessie, not long now, baby.’
‘Dad? Dad! No!’ I cried out. I wanted to touch him, hold him, be held by him, but I couldn’t. I was just watching, or was I dreaming?
‘Jessie, Jessie. I’m so sorry baby. I never told you and now you know the truth. Jessie, I’m here now. I’m coming home to you,’ he croaked and his eyes lit up as if looking directly at me. He smiled and then, right before my eyes, the light went out.
I screamed, shaking over and over.
‘No, no! No Dad,’ and suddenly I was back in my bed, shaking all over, as Daniel rushed through the door, bleary-eyed.
‘Jessica, Jessica, it’s all right. It’s just another nightmare. I’m here,’ he said, climbing into bed to hold me.
‘Shhhhh, it’s OK, it’s OK,’ he said soothing me, but this time his words didn’t calm me. It had been too real. My dad had just died and I was never going to get that chance to explain, to talk to him. I sobbed uncontrollably and tears fell unchecked.
‘He’s dead, Daniel. My dad, he’s gone,’ I said between sobs.
‘No, shhhh, it was just a dream. Sebastian has people at the hospital. He would have phoned if anything had happened,’ he said, gently stroking my hair.
‘No, I saw him. Something woke me, I heard him, and then I was there. I was in his hospital room. He’s in a private room, isn’t he? I saw him die, just now. Sebastian probably doesn’t even know yet,’ I said quietly, and as I looked up through my tears I saw Daniel’s face cloud over with concern.
‘Maybe I should go and call him. I’m sure it’s just a dream, Jess.’
‘No stay. I need you. He’ll call us soon enough.’ I closed my eyes and rested my head against Daniel’s chest. I could hear his heartbeat, much slower than a human’s, but regular and calming all the same.
I breathed in his scent. It intoxicated me, supported me, tantalised me. It was unlike anything I’d smelled before. Luke had two particular scents, the one which smelled of his favourite aftershave and the one he had after a shower, a musky man scent, clean and warm. Daniel smelled entirely different, or maybe it was my improved sense of smell. I couldn’t place it, but it was like going out on a warm summer morning after a rainy night. It was a fresh smell, almost earthy, wet and warm. I wanted more of it. I wanted to be consumed by it. I knew it had the power to take all my fears and sadness away and lift me to a place where nothing could touch me.
I lifted my face up to his and saw my desire mirrored in his own. Softly his lips pressed against mine, and I pulled him down next to me, so we were lying face to face, our lips touching, and the tips of our tongues flicking each other’s. I was lying on one arm, so with my free hand I stroked the side of his body. He had a t-shirt and boxers on so he must have come straight from bed. Typical! The one time he sleeps, I go and wake him up. I smiled to myself and brought my hand back up to his chest. He pulled me closer than I thought was possible without getting squashed, and our kisses became more urgent.
Suddenly he pulled back from me, and looking at me softly he whispered to me, his words full of concern. ‘Jessica, I want you to trust me. I know how you feel about feeding from humans, but I’m worried. You need more sustenance than the banked blood is giving you, and there is another way.’
Before I could reply, he lifted himself up on one elbow and with his free hand drew a rather sharp looking nail I’d never noticed before across the thin skin on his neck. I watched, fascinated, as a thin line of bright blood seeped through the wound. Daniel instantly licked his finger and ran it back over the wound, and I saw the blood begin to run more freely.
The smell hit me, like a bowl of melted, 80% dark chocolate, seductive and bitter at the same time. It drew me to him with such force, I couldn’t resist. I didn’t want to resist. Even if I’d any willpower left, I knew I wouldn’t refuse. Daniel wasn’t a human; he was offering himself to me willingly. He wanted me to drink. I had to drink. I needed to taste his blood. He drew me to him and I felt my fangs extend as he lowered himself back down. I closed the tiny gap between us, my lips touching his skin first, my tongue following and flicking out to lick his neck.
The taste exploded in my mouth, nothing like the stuff I’d been drinking. I heard myself moan quietly and he shivered slightly beneath me as he spoke.
‘Jessica, it won’t continue to flow if you don’t bite. It won’t hurt. I want you to. I need you to.’ His voice was low and husky as he breathed heavily against my neck, sending shivers down my spine.
I paused for only a second, and felt just the slightest resistance, before my teeth slipped smoothly through his soft skin, causing a rush of warm blood. I felt Daniel’s arm tighten as he moaned with pleasure, whilst I drank hungrily, feeling the rich smooth blood coursing down my throat. I held him firmly, but Daniel was still much stronger, and without stopping me, he rolled over me so I was underneath, his breath hot against my bare shoulder. He moved my vest strap down and began kissing me, his other hand moving under my back and down my body, pulling me even closer. I could feel him, his whole body hard against mine.
His touch sent fire through my body and I sucked harder, all my worries and pain evaporating into a cloud of pleasure. I felt alive, and vibrant, and I slammed the cell door in my head shut, dismissing the disapproving girl and memories of the boy I loved.
‘Oh Jess, Mmm…’ he moaned in my ear, as our bubble was suddenly and excruciatingly popped by the ominous ring of the phone.
I pulled my lips gently away from his neck, feeling my fangs begin to retract into place, surprised to see the tiniest of wounds already healing before my eyes. He pulled away from me reluctantly and I saw the lust in his eyes slowly replaced with concern, as his fangs also receded.
‘I’ll leave it. I can call him later,’ Daniel murmured to me gently.
‘No Daniel. Answer it. I need to know,’ I said, already sure what the news would be.
A couple of minutes later he returned, his face set, ready to calm my grief and soothe my pain. He tentatively took a step towards me where I was huddled in my duvet.
‘Jess, I’m so sorry. You were right, he’s gone.’ His words were soft as he sat down beside me. His arms encircled me and pulled me to him. I’d known I was right, I knew what I’d seen, but a small part of me had hoped it was all a bad dream. The realisation that I was right, that my father had died and left me an orphan, shocked me numb. I couldn’t speak so I nodded, staring ahead as I rocked myself gently back and forth.
I’m not sure how long we sat like that, Daniel holding me, neither of us speaking, but by the time I could speak dawn had broken and the morning light was filtering into the room, creeping through the cracks in the curtains.
‘Daniel, I need to get up and do something. Let me get dressed and I’ll meet you downstairs,’ I said eventually.
He nodded, and reluctantly got up from my bed and walke
d to the door.
‘I have things I need to discuss with you regarding your father Jessica, but you will not bear this alone.’ He searched my face, and seemingly content that I wasn’t going to fall apart, he left me alone.
When I was sure he’d gone and that he was no longer trying to listen to my thoughts, I searched my own emotions within. Something felt out of kilter; something felt unlike me, and then I realised what it was.
The vampire within had grown stronger. I could still feel exhilaration and energy flowing through my body from Daniel’s blood, and the instant I paused to recollect the act, I flushed with warmth. I could remember the heavenly scent that wafted up as I bit down into his skin, the amazing, tastebud-tingling taste as his blood trickled into my mouth.
The vampire within me was consumed with the amazing feelings it had given me, the way Daniel had turned me on and set me aflame. That part of me wanted more, and I only felt a disconnected numbness regarding my father’s death. Dare I say, my inner vampire felt good at not having to worry about everything, not feel all that human pain and guilt that plagued me every day. I even acknowledged that a very tiny part of me might be coming round to the idea of liking fresh blood. It would have to be a very willing donor, but after all, if they were willing and it felt as amazing as Daniel made it feel, what could be the harm, right?
Yet I knew what the harm could be. I could lose my soul. I knew that although this new part of me was now stronger than ever, my human soul was still there, grieving the death of my father and yearning to see Luke and Alex once more. That girl had taken a back seat. She’d shut herself off from me, and I worried that if the vampire part took over, I’d lose myself, forever.
I turned to face the mirror at the end of the bed and a movement from outside caught my eye. There was a gap of about six inches where I hadn’t pulled the curtains fully closed and as I glanced up I thought I saw a man, standing on my windowsill. I ran to the window and pulled the curtains apart, but there was nothing, just the early morning sun blinding me. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the vision of his face, tight with grief, jealousy and disappointment. His name whispered to me, over and over….Luke, Luke, Luke.
Ridiculous! It was just my grief and guilt playing tricks on me. I turned back to the mirror and was instantly taken aback by the transformation. My recent deathly pallor had disappeared and a healthy glow replaced the hollowed cheeks of the last couple of days. They say the eyes are the path to the soul and mine were full of tears and grief, but the tears didn’t fall and my cheeks remained dry and pink.
I quickly pulled on some skinny jeans, a top and a long cardigan. I didn’t feel the need to be cocooned in Daniel’s sweatshirt today; I felt stronger. So pulling on some socks and the super trendy boots Eva had bought me, I left the room. I nipped into the bathroom and splashed some water on my face to freshen up, more of a habit than necessity and quickly tying my hair back into a ponytail, I headed downstairs to find Daniel.
‘OK, see you shortly. We’ll be leaving around three, I think,’ Daniel was saying as I walked into the kitchen, before he hung up the phone and looked at me.
‘Who was that?’ I asked.
‘Eva. I just called to let her know the unfortunate developments and the plans for later. She’s coming over as soon as she can,’ he replied, searching my face for signs of the emotional wreck he obviously thought was waiting to happen, and was clearly nonplussed at what he found.
‘What plans?’ I asked, ignoring the questions in his eyes, and trying not to be drawn to the two tiny marks on his neck. Realisation slowly softened his features, as he’d probably caught flashes of my bloodthirsty desires, and he smiled warmly before answering.
‘Jessica, you look better, but I think you understand now that you cannot live off banked blood?’ he asked. I nodded reluctantly before he carried on. ‘I’m glad you’re feeling stronger, especially as I’m afraid I have a difficult task for you, which Sebastian wishes us to carry out today.’
‘Am I going to see dad?’ I asked, hope rising unchecked.
‘No. I’m sorry, Jessica. Your father is in the hospital mortuary, and it would be an unnecessary risk for us to go there. He cannot help us now.’ My heart sank as he continued. ‘Sebastian wishes us to visit your father’s house to look for that early photo album and any documents like your birth certificate, so we can work out your heritage, before it’s too late.’
‘I can’t go there. What if someone sees us?’
‘They wouldn’t recognise you. We’ll dress in suits and Eva and I will carry ID. That way, if anyone does see us we can pass ourselves off as officials sorting out the estate,’ he answered calmly.
‘Why don’t we go at night. Surely that would be better?’ I asked, hoping to get myself some breathing time.
‘No, daytime is better. If we go at night we’ll be more likely to arouse suspicion. Daytime is better as most people are out working. Within a few days, real officials will be visiting the house and sorting out the legal work, which is why we have to go today.’ I sighed and slumped into a kitchen chair. Desperately ignoring the human girl in the attic of my mind, I lost myself in the frivolous mind of the vampire. It was a good distraction.
‘Ok. So did I hear you tell Eva three o’clock? I don’t have a suit, you know?’ I said, sitting down at the kitchen table opposite him, a part of me enjoying the confusion I was causing him.
‘Ehm, Jessica are you alright? You seem to be taking all this a little better than anticipated,’ Daniel said, getting up from his seat and coming to sit on the stool next to mine, where I could smell his delicious scent in intoxicating waves.
‘Yes, I’m fine,’ I snapped. Really! This guy was too empathetic sometimes. ‘The girl is still here and I think she’s pretty torn up, but somehow since we, I mean I, well you know, kind of…. well, what we did last night..’ I stumbled, suddenly both embarrassed and a bit grossed out to say I actually bit him.
‘Yes, go on. It’s OK Jess. I enjoyed it too. It was amazing actually,’ he said smiling at me.
‘Well anyway, I guess you and Eva were right, saying things would become easier for me if I allowed my vampire side to take over, and after last night I feel stronger, in more control. I can still feel my soul. She’s still there, she’s grieving. I’ve locked her away,’ I said, as my eyes were once again drawn to his neck.
My hand involuntarily moved up to stroke his skin, my fingers moving lightly over the tiny red dots where my teeth had punctured his skin. I then traced the thin red line where he’d initially cut himself, and stroked his neck.
His eyes were on mine instantly, like dark deep pools, glittering and mesmerising, and I let him pull me into their depths. He scooted his stool nearer to mine and mirrored my hand with his own, holding his palm against my cheek and cupping it under my jaw.
‘What did it feel like? Did I hurt you?’ I whispered, asking for something more and knowing he knew what I meant.
‘No it didn’t. Let me show you. Can I taste you Jessie, sweet Jessie?’ he asked huskily, passion setting his eyes aflame.
My heart jumped at the mention of Jessie. The only person in the world who called me that was my dad. My dear, lovely dad, who had played endlessly with me as a child, his only child, but he was gone now and I needed to block out the pain and disconnect the memories. I nodded and breathed him in as his mouth gently kissed my neck and sent shivers shooting down my arms.
As his teeth broke my skin, I felt a jolt of electricity run down my spine and fizz between my legs. When Sebastian had bitten me it had turned me on and felt amazing, but this was something else. Maybe it was the connection we shared, but I could feel his excitement, passion and hunger mirrored in myself and my fangs broke through my gums, as I rocked against my stool seat, held in his tight embrace.
He only fed for a couple of minutes at the most, and I felt him release me just as my excitement was heightening to impossible levels.
‘Hey, why have you stopped already?’ I a
sked, panting.
He grinned at me and I could see that it had taken an effort to pull away, as the desire was sparkling in his eyes.
‘I’ve just got you looking healthy Jessie - sorry, Jess. Eva told me not to call you Jessie,’ he replied smiling, but with a hint of worry in his eyes.
‘It’s fine. I actually liked you calling me Jessie. It was a shock at first, but my dad’s gone now, so I guess it would be nice to have someone still call me that,’ I said, suddenly realising how much Daniel had come to mean to me.
‘OK. Well I’m not about to take all that blood back and have you looking all pale and ghostly again, even though you do taste delicious,’ he added.
I could see a droplet of blood on his lips, and I paused a second before I leaned forward and cautiously touched my lips to his. A second later, and I was plunging into an abyss of warmth and dizziness as he pulled me in. I could taste blood on his tongue, mine or his I didn’t know, but it tasted exquisite.
The front door banging brought us slamming back into the present. I drew back and looked dreamily behind me to the kitchen door as Eva whirled in, in a haze of darkly-scented perfume, coming to a sudden, somewhat comical stop as she took in the two of us guiltily pulling away from each other.
‘Well, I wondered when you’d finally give in,’ she said grinning at me, her eyes sparkling, and I felt myself blushing.
‘I have to say he suits you very well; you’re looking much healthier Jess, and happier too considering,’ she said, smiling like a genuine friend. There wasn’t a hint of ‘I told you so’ about her and for that I was relieved, but I felt shy and didn’t know what to say. Luckily Daniel picked up on my feelings and talked for me.
‘I’ve told Jessica about going to her father’s home and she’s agreed to come with us. She will need to borrow a suit from you,’ he said, and as I watched him I realised his eyes were full of a light which I hadn’t seen there before.
‘Why borrow when you can buy, hey Jess?’ Eva said, winking at me. ‘I think it’s time Jess supplemented her wardrobe a bit more, and there’s plenty of time for a little shopping trip before three o’clock. It’s only eleven thirty,’ she said, grinning at me.
For once I wasn’t desperate to get out of the house. Firstly, shopping for a suit to visit my dead dad’s house in was not my idea of fun, and secondly I’d hoped to spend the next couple of hours cuddled up on the sofa with Daniel. I’d even watch football if necessary!
‘Actually, I don’t really fancy going out now Eva. You could just pick something nice for me,’ I said, screwing my nose up a little as I pleaded with Eva.
‘No Jess, you’re coming with me. It’ll be good for you to get out and I need some girl time. I’ve been surrounded with men for days,’ she said, appearing smiley and friendly, but I knew that underneath she would be completely immovable.
‘Oh Eva, let her stay here if she wants to. It’s been a tough morning for her, and there’s more to come,’ Daniel said, which I appreciated, because sticking up for me and challenging Eva, who was essentially his boss and probably ex-lover, was not something he’d choose to do lightly. I looked up at Eva hopefully and saw frustration and maybe a flicker of anger dart across her brow, so I decided to appease her before things got difficult.
‘No, it’s fine Daniel, I’ll go.’ I looked at Eva and smiled hesitantly, hoping she’d understand, which thankfully she seemed to do.
‘Great,’ she said, her beautiful smile back again. ‘Let’s go now and then you can be back in time for a Daniel fix before we go out. I’ll just change into something more suitable.
I turned back to smile at Daniel and didn’t even hear her leave the room. I’d found to my delight that vampires were naturally fast and graceful, but Eva beat us all. She moved or rather flowed up the stairs so silently, she could have passed for a ghost had she not been so full of life and energy.
She appeared in the kitchen again only minutes later, and if I hadn’t already become used to her unnatural speed I would have been shocked. As it was, I’d already changed my boots, grabbed my jacket and was waiting with a smile on my face.
‘Right, come on then, my car’s at the front,’ she said, heading back out towards the front door, and suddenly I felt shy. What should I do? Part of me wanted to kiss Daniel goodbye, but I wasn’t sure if this was too much, too soon for either of us. My feelings for Luke were still there, but it was easy to get lost in these new exciting feelings. My feelings for Daniel were growing by the day, and I knew he would always be there for me. I hesitated in the doorway, feeling awkward and shy, but then relief shot through me as he grinned and beckoned me over with his finger. I smiled shyly and went over to him, letting him pull me into his arms. My heart jumped as he pulled me in for a sweet kiss on the lips.
‘Come on Jess! Daniel, let go of her,’ Eva shouted down the hall. Daniel grinned at me and shoved me from his lap, giving me a playful smack on the rear as I left the room, grinning like a lunatic.
Eva raised her eyes to the heavens and tutted. ‘Come on,’ she said, before leaving me to follow her out of the house and into the car. In my attempt to impress and get myself ready in record time, I’d forgotten the one essential item. I stepped out of the door into a brilliant sunny day and found myself once again blinded, screwing my eyes up in pain, hot tears running down my cheeks.
‘Aghh! I yelped, and quickly retreated into the house, where Daniel had already pre-empted my error and found my sunglasses, which I quickly claimed before running back down the path to Eva’s car.
‘I’m sorry Jess, if you wanted to stay in with Dan. I know how addictive that initial bond can feel, and I’m really pleased that you’ve given in to it,’ she said, pausing as I frowned slightly. ‘However, I think, as you are well aware, you’re not quite as simple as other vampires. Regardless of how you think you’re managing your feelings for Luke and your past, they cannot have disappeared quite as fast as you’re making out. I think a little down time will be good for your soul,’ she said quickly. She kept looking at me, and even though we both had sunglasses on, I knew her keen eyes were seeing straight through the dark plastic lenses to the surprise in my eyes.
I didn’t get it. I thought she wanted me to bury my soul. I thought she wanted me to give in to the vampire, and forget my past. Why the change of heart? Why, when I finally thought I was getting somewhere, and was accepting this new life, did the goal posts have to change? I was totally bemused.
‘Eva I don’t understand, I thought you’d be encouraging these new feelings?’ I asked, feeling more than slightly hurt, if not a little bit sorry for myself.
‘I do, I do, and it may surprise you, but I do actually care about you, as well as Dan. I don’t want this to end badly. I think you’re going to be a very talented vampire, and I think a lot of those talents are intrinsically linked to your soul.’ She paused, but as I had nothing to say she carried on. ‘Jess, your soul it what’s so special about you, and I don’t want you to quash it and bury it in an attempt to guard yourself from your feelings. Seek comfort from Daniel by all means, but you need to acknowledge your pain as well, and reap power from it,’ she said. The words were kindly, but there was a serious tone to them, and I understood immediately the reason for that.
She may care for me, but not as much as Daniel did. She was not linked to me as he was, and I knew that however much she liked me, she was bound to Sebastian. I’d already seen glimmers of her harder side. They were obviously worried that if I gave in to my vampire side too soon, I’d lose the recent abilities which had so impressed them. Those abilities had so far only shown up when I was upset and emotional, and I saw her point. I mean the lights hadn’t pinged out when I was kissing Daniel, and I had been feeling very emotional then! I frowned as I contemplated everything she’d said.
Eva continued, ‘I know how it must seem Jess, and initially your life may be harder going down this route, but if you work hard at controlling those talents, I believe that in the long run you’ll
have more success and independence. If you give in now, you’ll just become a very ordinary, talentless vamp.’ She smiled at me, and I truly believed that she meant what she was saying. She did want the best for me, and I realised from the short time I’d known Sebastian, that I’d gain much more respect from him if I stood out.
‘I’m not asking you to stop things developing naturally with Daniel. Besides, it is strange that it’s taken so long for you to see him that way. All I ask is that you don’t cut yourself off from that human soul, not yet. Don’t let her lose her voice; don’t forget your past too easily, as it will help you become something great,’ she finished.
Wow! Some speech, but it had an edge of smoothness to it, so that I didn’t quite believe it was all from the heart. At the same time it made sense, so I decided to go along with her and mull things over later.
‘OK, but in order for me to get through today, I need that part of me to stay in the background, otherwise I won’t cope.’ I said, feeling unusually strong and sure of myself. I felt I’d made my point, and while she may not want me to lose my talents, there’d be a time and a place to try and use them, which wouldn’t be this afternoon, with so much ahead of me. She nodded and smiled, and I saw a glimmer of respect flash across her face before she turned back to the traffic, leaving me to my thoughts.