him I would've called him back for a matter of business as soon as we got here!
LEON: (a puzzled beat) You spent three months of your pay just to tell him you would have called back?!
EDWIN: That's not the point, okay? The point is he didn't have a problem with that!
KIDAL: What did you expect him to do, unplug the phone to avoid you?!
LEON: The wage of three months...
EDWIN: Man, you can really be two hicks when you want to! What is the pay of three months compared to the occasion of a lifetime?
KIDAL: What occasion? What are you talking about?
Edwin heaves an annoyed sigh.
EDWIN: I bet you don't know, but who works in an embassy has the last word on who walks in and out of a country, meaning that he could get you expelled or, should he want to lend a helping hand, issue you a visa.
LEON: And why on earth should the guy want to help you?
EDWIN: Because we are relatives, that's obvious!
KIDAL: You are not relatives!
EDWIN: Maybe just distant, but sure we are! And it's a great coincidence, okay, one we can't let slip away.
Leon keeps staring sternly at him when a speaker buzzes in the hall.
RECEPTIONIST (O.S.): (through speaker) Mr. Edwin Bekila is required on the phone, Edwin Bekila on the phone.
EDWIN: There we are, this is him! (Jumps up) Come on, wish me good luck!
Leon and Kidal just look at him as he runs for the door. A beat and the ground starts to tremble, the table almost tips over as Ricardo sits beside them.
RICARDO: So guys, what brings you here?
LEON: (taken aback) Well, you know, let's say it's a long story...
KIDAL: Oh no, it is not! We're the Zimbabwe table tennis champions, in person, none other than us!
RICARDO: Really? I didn't know they played table tennis down there.
LEON: Neither did we... I mean, before we started, of course.
RICARDO: Well, I'm in the judo tournament, and I can't wait to honor myself and my country! (He looks around at the crowded hall) But isn't that what we're all here for?
LEON: (an awkward beat) Yeah, what else?
The table tilts again as Ricardo stands up.
RICARDO: Best of luck, then, I'll come see you play.
KIDAL: We count on it, bud, and astride on the zebra!
A puzzled glance and Ricardo moves away, just as Edwin drags himself back to the table. Judging by the look on his face either there was rat poison in his bread or the phone call went not so good.
KIDAL: So?
EDWIN: That son of a bison wants money!
KIDAL: Well, what did you expect? How much does he want?
EDWIN: Fifteen thousand pounds.
LEON: And how much is that?
EDWIN: More or less the wage of two lifetimes!
EXT. OLYMPIC VILLAGE GARDEN – DAY
Smiling athletes smile and chat across the gardens as Edwin, Leon and Kidal slowly walk down a path, discouraged and sad.
KIDAL: Will you tell us how we're going to find all that money?
LEON: It's simple, Kidal, we won't find it at all! We've come this far for nothing!
KIDAL: Lucky us he was a relative!
EDWIN: Well, obviously he was more distant than I remembered. And by the way, the Games are on for two weeks, we have all the time to think of something and work it out, okay?
LEON: Work out what? Edwin, my friend, I like you, you're a good man, but you have to admit that sometimes you don't realize what you say! You managed to bring us here, we will take a two weeks holiday like we could have never done, but that's it! Just do me a favor, try not to get us in trouble, okay?
EDWIN: Trouble? What are you talking about?
LEON: I'm talking about when you took us fishing on a nudist beach!
KIDAL: Yeah, or when you made us guzzle all those beans before the Sunday Mass, it was so embarrassing!
Edwin sits down on a bench, glances at the joyful landscape all around them.
EDWIN: Can't you see where we are? Don't you see how it is different from anything we've ever seen? I feel it in the air that I breathe, can't you feel that, too?
KIDAL: I told you, it's that bran soap.
EDWIN: I'm serious! I mean, just take a look at these people. They're so happy, satisfied, they're so free. Wouldn't you give everything you have to be like them?
KIDAL: Oh, I surely would if only I had something to give!
LEON: Sure, I bet they wouldn't have problems in popping out fifteen thousand pounds!
MALE VOICE (O.S.): Yeah, you can bet your shoes on that!
Vitali, the Ukrainian man from the night before, appears behind them, red eyes and a double vodka in hand, probably not the first one of the day.
VITALI: These twerps wouldn't even get out of bed for so little!
KIDAL: Little?!
Vitali takes a disgusted look across the garden.
VITALI: Look at them! A bunch of wimps who cannot speak about anything but Armani, Tiffany, Porsches and BMWs, Prada shoes, French restaurants and trips to the Maldives!
The guys are stumped.
KIDAL: What is a Prada shoe?
VITALI: A thing that probably costs more than your house.
A few meters away he eyes the Jamaican running team, indignantly nods at the statuesque LARAN DRAKE and at the huge, shining MILLE WATCH on his wrist.
VITALI: And that, dear sirs, surely costs much more than your whole village.
The guys drop their jaws as Vitali sits down with them.
VITALI: Don't be fooled, my friends, this place stinks more than a pair of socks after a marathon, and I know what I'm talking about!
KIDAL: You were a runner?
VITALI: I was in the Ukrainian national gymnastics team. Everybody said I was a promise and that I had a secured future even after the competitions... until a blond, curly, ruthless piece of dung stole my place, leaving me as a masseur for the women's team.
KIDAL: Well, you had it great!
VITALI: At all! (Throws down his vodka) I live among a bunch of pampered brats, and I barely can feed the nine kids I since had!
LEON: Nine?!
VITALI: They've got it all and I got nothing because of them, you get it?
He pops a small flask out of his jacket, takes a long sip.
VITALI: You know, I'd like to take one of these tykes and lock him into a pigpen for six months, just to make him smell some real life!
KIDAL: Six months? Wow...
VITALI: (conceding) Mmm, yeah, maybe even a pair of days in my closet could do, it stinks more than a pigpen! Maybe I could just kidnap one of them and decide something afterwards.
The guys exchange concerned looks.
LEON: Would you really be able to kidnap someone?
VITALI: Oh, that wouldn't be a problem. This village is off limits for anybody, except for those who are already inside! I'd just have to kidnap one of the big guns... (with growing conviction) kidnap him and lock him in a closet, I'd get the ransom in less than half an hour!
KIDAL: Do you think somebody would pay a ransom for these people?!
Vitali smiles as he throws down another sip.
VITALI: You really come from very far, don't you? With all the money floating around this circus the organizers would pay anything! How they say, the show must go on...
He drains up his flask when a loud roar makes them all turn around.
VITALI: There you go, look at him...
The crowd parts as the undisputed star of the Games makes his way to the bar like a god in the Olympus of the athletes: DAEVON GOLD, almost seven feet of muscles and taut nerves, power and speed in the form of man, the fastest one to ever live.
VITALI: ...kidnap that guy and you'll get the world to lick your armpits!
He shoots the weirded out guys a disturbing glance before dropping senseless to the ground.
INT. THE GUYS' ROOM – DAY
The door opens and the guys walk in in silence. Edwin tur
ns on the light and --
EDWIN: Holy sheep!!!
He jumps at the sight of SAHEED, sitting on a bed like a stuffed owl.
EDWIN: Colonel Saheed, you scared the hell out of me! What are you doing in our room?
SAHEED: I am the Head of Delegation, thus this room is more mine than yours!
He stands up from the bed, slowly examines the nervous guys.
SAHEED: These Games are one of the most wonderful things that ever happened to our country since our beloved President decided to take our people by the hand and lead it to a glorious future. These are epic days for our land, and you can't imagine how I am concerned, disappointed... (stares up at Kidal's oiled hair) disgusted, that to represent it are three idiots like you!
The guys just look at him.
EDWIN: Sir, we earned this great honor on the field, and we have every intention of doing well and to make our country proud of us!
LEON: Yes, sir, we're here to do our best, we don't want to let anybody down.
KIDAL: Sure... like they say.
Saheed stands in front of them, staring them one at the time.
SAHEED: You know, I just finished talking on the phone with my cousin.
KIDAL: Oh, that's great! What's the news from our wonderful country?
SAHEED: He lives and works in England...
EDWIN: Well, congratulations, you must be really proud of him!
SAHEED: ...at the Zimbabwe Embassy here in London.
Edwin's smile freezes as Leon and Kidal slowly turn to him.
SAHEED: Odd coincidence, isn't it?
EDWIN: (petrified) Yeah. It really is.
SAHEED: Well, you won't believe what my cousin just told me! (Right in Edwin's face) The ridiculous project of three of our compatriots who, as it would seem, wanted to expatriate by paying him a bribe. Absurd, don't you find?
LEON: Yeah. Absurd indeed.
SAHEED: And coward. Abhorrent. A pure infamy for the pride of our flag and for our entire nation.
Edwin's in a cold sweat as Saheed turns his back on them to stare out the window.
SAHEED: Your passports are in my suitcase, you'll get