If Jack lived, was he starving?
And yet here I was again, holed up in this castle, not helping, not doing anything but biding my time.
Finn laid aside the remains of his sandwich. "Death hasn't changed his mind about throwing them a bone?"
"It's still a solid no-go." When I'd broached it a while back, Aric had said, "If we feed the strays, they will never move on, and a larger convergence of cards could lead Richter here sooner. Plus, I make it a rule not to extend a hand to those plotting against me."
I told Finn, "Maybe if Joules wasn't so bent on electrocuting Aric."
"True. I had to give it a try."
"I'll keep working on him," I said, even though my influence on Death was negligible these days. I couldn't even get him to jettison my grandmother's killer until the weather turned. "What was it like being on the road with Joules and Gabriel?" The three of them had teamed up after the catastrophe at Fort Arcana and targeted Richter. To no avail.
"Besides feeling like a third wheel to their epic bromance? It was cool. Sometimes they'd open up about their pre-Flash lives. Get this: Patrick Joules, the great and powerful Tower, was a choirboy."
"Brash, foulmouthed Joules?" Every other word out of his mouth was feck. "You lie."
"I swear! Self-described goody-goody. At least, before he met Calanthe." The Temperance Card had been the love of Joules's life. Unfortunately, Death had killed her in self-defense.
While I struggled to picture Joules as a choirboy, I asked, "Wasn't Gabriel born into a cult?"
"Kidnapped by one when he was a baby."
"Jesus, how awful."
"They worshipped him as an angel." In the history of the games, Gabriel had been a righteous guardian, a protector of good. "Funny thing: Gabe wasn't born with wings. On Day Zero, he had to leap off a mountain into nothing and hope those wings shot out of his back on the way down."
"Holy shit." That reminded me of one of my escapes from Aric, when I'd made a blind leap off a bridge, with no idea if I might hit debris in the water. He'd ditched his armor to dive in and save me--just in time for cannibals to fire on us.
Shot twice, Aric had ducked behind a boulder. I'd never forget the way he'd looked when he'd peered up at the sky, gaze stark. Had he been thinking that the Empress would always bring him misery? That she'd forever ruin his life?
I cleared my throat to say, "Um, Gabriel must be a big believer to jump without wings."
Finn shook his head. "Not at all. If he hadn't, he would've had some 'help' from the cult members. He was scared shitless, but he had no choice."
"Not a leap of faith? And here I thought you were telling me this story to give me perspective with this baby."
"I think you're like Gabe--you got no choice but to leap." Finn winked at me and said, "Might as well make it a swan dive, blondie."
Would I ever get my wings? I forced a smile. "So, you and Lark are hitting it off like a house on fire. You guys barely left her room today."
He blushed. "Taking advantage of the storm, since her guard duties are lessened. Eves, I dig her." He pulled at his pajama collar. "To the point of, like, love and all."
When I couldn't stop a silly grin, he gruffly said, "Shut it."
I chuckled. "I didn't say anything! I'm happy for you two." My smile faded. "What are you using for contraception?"
His face reddened even more. "Jeez, Mom. If you must know, I stored up on condoms when I was out on the road." Relief. "When I arrived here, my worldly possessions consisted of one crutch, the clothes on my back, and a metric ass-ton of rubbers. Death would freak balls if we spawned, wouldn't he? Hey, if we had a son and you had a daughter--"
"Don't even go there."
He held up his hands with a mischievous look.
"Finn, can I give you some advice?" At his eager nod, I said, "Try not to push it with Aric. He might seem like a normal, okay guy, but at heart, he's still a knight from another era, still an assassin." He'd made a fortune killing kings and toppling governments with just a handshake.
"I feel for the dude."
I blinked. "For Aric?" The hypnotically handsome, supernatural billionaire? The man with the I have power over all I survey vibe?
"Sure. He's got to be feeling stressed. He's supposed to prep our defenses, manage our resources, guard you and the kid on the way and everybody under this roof. And he knows how unhappy you are. It's got to be weighing on him."
Then why wouldn't Aric relent? I'd caught him staring at me, as if willing me to understand his position with Paul. He truly didn't believe the man deserved banishment.
"I try to fly under the radar," Finn said. "For instance, I didn't tell Death that I ramble around his digs invisible and naked whenever the fancy strikes me." Irrepressible Finn. "But sometimes Lark gets a little . . . aggressive." Red of tooth and claw? "You mind if I pass on your advice to her?"
I nodded. "Please, try to get through to her. Aric's patience has a limit."
Yesterday, Lark had gotten snarky with him for the first time in, like, ever.
Aric had summed up the incident: "As her arsenal grows, so too does her attitude." At times, I heard animal sounds on the mountainside that I couldn't place--sounds that filled me with fear.
Just as they had Gran.
Now that Circe was weakening, Lark grew braver, especially after she'd used her faunagenesis to revive a sparrow a few days ago.
Amidst all the Arcana powers I'd witnessed, Lark's resurrection ability was crazy even for me. I'd watched that bird's first twitching movements in awe, only to shudder at the chilling blankness in its eyes.
She'd told me that she planned to send her wolves out to raid a Flash-fried zoo, scavenging for assorted bones: "I'm thinking about cooking up a bear. Wouldn't a grizzly be wicked? Or maybe something for the moat to keep that water witch on her toes."
But I'd also gotten the strangest feeling that Lark had already been doing this feat in secret.
Finn said, "So I'll talk to Lark, and you can dialogue with Death about things. He hates that you're hurting."
Then maybe Aric should do something about it? I'd ask him again the next time we were together.
"You wanna hear something weird, blondie? I know we're in a messed-up situation, but I've never been more stoked about life than I have been over the last two weeks."
"Not even when you were living in Cali before the Flash? I know you dream about surfing."
With a sappy look on his face, he said, "I dream about Lark a gazillion times more."
A gust rocked the castle, rattling the windowpanes. A deep, percussive sound thundered from what was left of the river. Ice cracked, but no SLOSH came after it.
I swallowed. Circe's domain here had frozen solid. Maybe we were all headed for a coffin of ice. What had Matthew once called the changing weather? Snowmageddon. "Finn, what if the world doesn't come back? How will we explain the sun to this kid? Or what a day used to look like?"
"That's what I'm here for. Follow me." He rose, then hobbled into the adjoining den. Pointing at the couch, he said, "Pop a squat." When I did, he channeled his inner ringmaster to cry, "Prepare to be astounded! And dazzled! By the greatest illusionist ever to live!" He waved his hand, and a new scene surrounded us.
Suddenly we were on a beach under the sizzling sun. "Malibu?"
Sly grin. "You know it."
"This is amazing." My greedy gaze took in all the details--the gulls, the foam on the waves, the haze rising off the shifting sands. "I could stare forever."
Finn dropped down on the love seat, resting his crutch between his legs, but the scene continued. "Lark and I are gonna be your kid's favorites. After pony rides and illusion-filled bedtime stories, we'll fill 'em up with sugar then hand 'em a kazoo."
As if he'd conjured her, Lark padded down the stairs in fluffy bunny slippers and flannel pj's that matched Finn's. A train of woodland animals followed her. She sat beside Finn, gazing at the spectacle. "Whoa. The details are unreal. Bigger waves, baby!"
"My girl wants bigger waves? Then we're gonna get totally tubular here."
Not long after, Aric entered. His eyes began to glitter when he saw me. He wore his chain mail, looking glorious. Once he took in the scene, he said, "Make us feel it, Magician."
"Can I do that?"
"You know how the incantation begins, and you know what you want."
The Magician closed his eyes and muttered some chant. Soon the crashing surf began to shake the room, drowning out the sounds of the blizzard. A balmy breeze carried the salty mist over our sun-warmed faces.
Careful not to get too close to the others, Aric sat on my other side. He took my hand in his, threading our fingers together, his lids going heavy from the mere touch.
As we gazed at a fiery red Pacific sunset, peace settled over the four of us, a rare sense of harmony among Arcana. I only wished Circe could have experienced it. If a breakfast had made her envious, what would this missed experience do to her?
I finally understood how I'd been able to lure her to land in the past . . . .
At my ear, Aric said, "Some wonders still await us, love."
Hope was a sprout reaching for the light. Once Paul was gone, we could regain all we'd lost.
Finn slipped his arm around Lark, looking like he was about to burst from happiness. He sighed, "I freaking love you guys."
6
As I got back into bed, Aric stood by one of the windows, gazing out at the lightning-lit night.
He wore only low-slung leather pants, his tattooed chest bare. He looked like a god in the silvery flashes.
Still searching for Kentarch?
He turned to me. "I need to talk to you about something."
I sat up against the headboard. "Me too." I waved him on. "You go first."
"I realized something tonight." He sat beside me. "There are no wonders I wish to see without you by my side. Yet I feel like I'm losing you. I can't . . . I cannot lose you."
"This future has been forced on me. But I can let go of my resentment"--where are my wings?--"once Paul is gone. And once there are no longer any trust issues between us."
He nodded, as if he'd expected me to say exactly that. "I spoke to him today, even reviewed your patient file."
My lips thinned. "That so? Was it a good read?"
"His notes are meticulously detailed and thorough, his explanation of events logical. In short, Paul's account makes sense to me." Aric took my hand in his. "But I don't care. He will leave this mountain tomorrow, no matter the weather. I'll carry him away if I have to."
My heart sped up. "What's brought about this change?" Then I frowned. "Because you realize you're losing me?"
Nod. "I will trust you blindly, even against my better sense. If you say these things happened, then I will believe they did. Sieva, I'll follow where you lead."
In a perfect world, he would have said that he trusted me because I was trustworthy. Or because Paul wasn't. Aric had all but said he was choking down my version--so as not to risk a breakup.
Still, I'd take what I could get.
Holding my gaze, he murmured, "I look into your eyes and wonder why I haven't already done this."
At last! All my tension was poised to melt away--as soon as Paul left. Only then would I confide to Aric my hopes about Jack's survival.
He cupped my face. "Can we start anew? Will you come back to me?"
Could I? Yes. "I will." With a wry smile, I said, "And I've even brought company with me."
"So you have." He reached for my still-flat belly. This time, I took his hand and placed it. His palm was warm through my nightgown.
Pinpoints of light glowed in his starry eyes as he said, "You asked me what I wanted most. My dreams are all of you--spending a lifetime with you. I want this child because it will come from you." His hand shook. "I can never forget that I was your second choice." Before I could protest, he said, "But we could share a bond neither of us has ever shared. That is what I want most. Will you accept it?"
Back at Fort Arcana, I'd chosen Jack over him. Since then, I'd made a commitment to Aric. Looking at his noble face, I knew I would honor it--even if Jack lived. "Do you truly think this kid will be okay? Bagger funk and all?"
"I'm telling you that our child will be amazing. And I've never lied to you."
As with Gabriel and his involuntary leap into the unknown, I was already falling. Maybe I should laugh all the way down? If I could get up and walk with ten swords in my back--the vision Matthew had shown me--I could survive a pregnancy.
"Do you accept this bond?" Aric was holding his breath.
The night felt momentous, that hope tendril sprouting into a white rose. "Hold on a sec." When I pulled away and climbed out of the bed, he gave a disheartened sigh.
I headed to my armoire and retrieved the ring I'd crafted for him. The red ribbon beside it brought on a pang of longing, but I'd made my decision. I returned to take Aric's hand and place the jet-black band on his palm. "I'll take the leap."
"You made this for me?" His expression was adoring.
I nodded. "From lignum vitae."
He rasped, "Wood of life." He slipped on the ring, his eyes gone starry once more. He murmured something in Latvian. The quiet intensity and urgency of those words affected me, even if I didn't grasp their meaning.
"What did you say?" I turned the syllables over in my mind, wishing I could understand his first language.
"By all the gods, I love you as my life. I've trusted you with my survival, and I've trusted you with my heart--which, for me, is far more vulnerable. I asked you to have a care with it." He kissed me reverently, then leaned down to press his lips to my belly. "And you have."
7
Death
I eased away from my wife's sleeping embrace, my heart pounding with anticipation.
She had accepted this unshakable bond between us. My thumb spun the new band on my ring finger. She'd taken such care to fashion it. I beheld the craftmanship with immense pride.
Soon we would have a child together. Over these weeks, I hadn't allowed myself to accept this fully--not until I'd sensed that she had.
All it had taken was my blind trust.
The thought of her feeling trapped was unbearable to me. I knew all too well what that was like. I'd been trapped in this deadly body for two millennia. Confined in my isolating armor.
But with her, I could be free.
At the window, I surveyed the wintry landscape. This mountain that had once been so lonely, so steeped in death, was budding with life.
Had the Fool foreseen this pregnancy?
He'd once given me a prediction--one part heaven, one part hell--that I'd never shared with my wife. The heaven part had already come true. I'd wanted to warn her about what might follow, but she needed no more worries.
The Empress is as fragile as she is strong.
I cast my mind back to the last few weeks I'd had with my parents, when my mother was with child. My father had treated her as if she were made of gossamer, shielding her from any harshness. I would endeavor to do the same with my wife.
Besides, no fate is fixed. I refused to believe what the Fool had told me.
I made my way into the bathroom to splash water on my face. After drying my skin, I gazed at myself in the mirror.
Stubble. Hair too long. Eyes brimming with satisfaction.
I murmured in disbelief, "I'm going to be a father."
She'd once told me I treated my books like my children. I'd replied, "The closest I'll ever come to having them." No longer.
Me, a father.
How would I protect my family? How would I feed them for a lifetime? It falls to me. In my wildest dreams, I'd never considered the possibility of a child when sourcing for the future.
Paul had prepared a list of items critical for this pregnancy and a newborn. Only one place would have them all--the Sick House, a settlement of sorts to the east. I would set out once the storm broke.
Guilt over my servant's fate aro
se, but I shoved it away.
After drying my hands, I stared at them. Death's touch. My touch. What if I can't hold my own child?
My wedding ring glinted, drawing my focus. Calm suffused me. With her by my side, we could weather anything.
"Aric?" she sleepily called from the bed. Her softly amorous voice made my muscles tense and my pulse race. I could see it so clearly: she had reached for me in need and found only my pillow.
"Coming, love," I called back. I would be a good father to our child, but first and foremost, I would always be her devoted husband.
Tomorrow we would have myriad cares and worries--an exile and the fallout from that. Tonight I would count my blessings: a loving wife and a baby on the way.
I took one last look at the mirror to gaze upon the most fortunate man I'd ever known.
8
The Empress
Day 529 A.F.
"You might as well put a bullet in his skull," Lark sniped at me when we'd all gathered in the courtyard to jettison Paul.
The blizzard had ended on this very day. The winds had died down to silence, and the snow no longer fell. But the black sky and thick cloud deck glowed intermittently from unseen lightning bolts. The river, a gleaming expanse of solid ice, reflected them.
Finn patted Lark's gloved hand, muttering, "'S cool, babe. Everything's chill."
I received no such gesture of support from Aric. He stood stiffly beside me, dressed in armor, as if Paul deserved a uniformed send-off.
The medic lingered at the perimeter gate with his shoulders hunched. He wore snow gear and a backpack--kindnesses from Aric.
I hugged my own ski jacket around me. "No one's killing anybody," I told Lark, though Aric's words filtered through my mind: Exile equals execution.
When she and I had prepared breakfast earlier, her bearing had been frostier than the landscape. The meal had been just as strained. None of us had eaten much except for Finn, who'd merrily chomped down everything, including the frozen ham I'd burned.
He must've made himself sick. His color was off, and sweat beaded on his forehead, even in the frigid air.
When he loosened his scarf, I said, "You okay?"
"Let's get this show on the road, huh." His impatience surprised me. His only hope for walking without a crutch was about to walk away.