Page 22
Author: Nyrae Dawn
“Tell me then. Why did you break up with Aspen? If the weekend was so great, why did you call it off?”
“Umm. ” I knew the answer to her question, but I had a feeling she did too.
“Did you make that decision when I told you about Roger?” she asked. I hated doing it, but nodded my head.
Mom grabbed my hand. “I haven’t been the best role model for you. I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life, especially where men are concerned, but you know they are my mistakes, they don’t have anything to do with you, Sebastian. I have no way of knowing what the future will hold for you and Aspen. You’re both young and things happen, but because I’ve been hurt and made bad choices, that doesn’t mean you’ll hurt or be hurt. And if you are, that doesn’t mean the same thing will happen with someone else. ”
I tried to slip my hand away from her, but she held it tight. “I’m serious. That’s life. We win some, we lose some, but you can’t live your life afraid of making my mistakes. ”
“You make it sound like it’s been your fault!” I couldn’t hold myself back from raising my voice. “All you did was love them, and they left you. I didn’t want to do that with Aspen. Not after she got her feelings involved. Wasn’t it better to cut our losses after two days, than for me to walk out on her like Dad walked out on you?” I blinked, hoping the movement would hold in the wetness pooling in my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. Made me feel weak.
“Oh, Bastian. ” She rubbed a hand down the side of my face. “Always so noble. I’m so lucky to have a son who loves his mom so much, but as much as I wish it were true, I’m not perfect. I made just as many mistakes as your father. As Bill and John. Hell, I made more mistakes than Roger did. But again, those were my mistakes, and you kiddo, you’re too good to really hurt someone. Your heart’s always in the right place, even if you do make some mistakes. ”
I turned my head away from her, trying to wipe the stray tears away that managed to break free without her noticing. She grabbed my face and turned my head so I looked at her. “More importantly, you are not your dad. You’re just Sebastian. My funny, smart, talented, loyal, big-hearted son. Even when you forget that and pull a stunt like trying to make her jealous with another girl. ” She smiled. “You know you’re going to have to do some major groveling, don’t you?”
I blew out a breath. “Yeah, I know. ”
“You and me both, kiddo. ”
I squinted at her. “Huh? Why do you need to grovel?”
Mom sighed. “Roger proposed and I freaked. I do love him, but in that moment, I saw every one of my mistakes asking me to make them again. Not a good man who I think I could really spend my life with. ”
What? “I don’t get it. I thought you said he broke up with you. ”
“See, there’s that noble and loyal side of you again. I said we broke up, not that he broke up with me. I really don’t deserve the pedestal you’ve put me on, kiddo. ” My mom’s mouth formed a frown.
“Why?”
“Why did you end it with Aspen? Because I was scared. I thought I was ready, but I do know Roger is different, but I was so scared of making the same mistakes I made in the past, that I threw out my future. ” She patted my hand. “But this isn’t about me. It’s about you. Don’t give Aspen up because you’re scared. We never know what’s going to happen in life. Can’t live in fear, or you’ll never get anything. ”
I wanted to believe her. I wanted Aspen. “After everything, you still think it’s worth it? I know you said you did, but I mean, after you bailed on Roger, do you still think love is worth all this?”
She answered quickly, surely. “Absolutely. What about you?”
Aspen popped into my head. The years of friendship. Everything she’d done for me, the laughs she’d given me and the way her face lit up when she smiled. How much she cared for her friends: Pris, Jaden and even me. And her kisses, the way I felt like all that light and energy seeped from her to me when our lips touched. The hollowness in my chest when she cried. How I didn’t feel like me without her. “Hell yeah. Aspen’s worth it. ” And she was. I would do anything to get her back.
Mom shook her head, a smirk hiding behind her frown.
“I mean, heck yeah. ”
“Then stop treating her like a game. This whole making her jealous thing, breaking up with her before things go too far. Be real with her. Treat her with the respect she deserves. ”
I nodded. “Okay, I can do that. ”
Mom laughed. “You’re going to have to do more than that, Bastian. I’m thinking the big, grand gesture and everything. ”
My laugh matched hers as I rolled my eyes, but I knew I would do it. I’d do whatever it took. “What about you? Just because we’re guys doesn’t mean we don’t like the big gesture or whatever. Are you going to get Roger back?” I asked.
“I’m not sure he’ll have me. ” She sighed.
This time it was me who squeezed her hand. “Ma, you’re talking to The Hook-up Doctor. Let me give you some advice. ”
***
I had one week to fix this before Mom was making me shut down my Hook-up Doctor blog and I’d be grounded until God knew when. I figured I deserved worse and was pretty lucky she’d given me a week at all, so I wanted to make it count. It took me a couple days to get a plan into action. This was a different kind of plan. Not the whole playing games thing, but something real. Something that my friends deserved because I figured Aspen wasn’t the only person I had some pleading to do with.
One for all and all for one or something lame like that.
Jaden was first on my list.
***
I rarely went to Jaden’s house. He never wanted to be there, so it wasn’t often I went with him and I definitely didn’t go there by myself. Without him I didn’t have a car and it was a long ass ride to make on my board. But I did it today, because I wanted my boy to know I was serious. I planned on making this up to him no matter what it took.
I jumped off my board when I came up to the gravel driveway that was almost as long as the drive from town. Why anyone would want to live in the boonies like this was beyond me. I kicked a few rocks as I made my way toward his house. I’d never tell anyone, but I always thought his driveway was a little creepy. It was practically buried in trees, all ominous and stuff. It was one of those roads, and houses for that matter, that kids got lost on in scary movies and a psycho killer was always waiting inside.
When I cleared the whack-job lane, I saw Jaden in front of his house, hiding under the hood of the beatermobile. I huffed. “All or nothing,” I whispered to myself as I approached him. “Need some help?”
He didn’t even turn around to look at me. “I thought you were too pretty to work on cars. ”
Even though he couldn’t see me, I shrugged and walked to the other side of the hood and leaned in. “I am, but like you said, your beater is my beater so I can put in a few hours of work on it. ” Nothing. “Plus, I figure I owe ya. You’re my boy. Always been there for me. The beater too. I guess it’s time I return the favor. ”
Metal on metal clanked from under the hood. Jay cursed then glanced up at me. He looked like shit. His face a little pale with purple under his eyes like he hadn’t slept in a while. I opened my mouth to ask if he was okay, but he cut me off. “Grab the wrench and come over here for a second. Think you can handle that, pretty boy?”
I let out a sigh of relief. Sure, to anyone else our exchange probably didn’t mean anything, but to us, we’d just said it all. He knew I was sorry and he was letting me know he forgave me.
As I brought the wrench over to him, I couldn’t stop myself from taking it further. “I didn’t mean to hurt her, Jay. I do love her and I’m going to make up for it. The thing with Crystal? It wasn’t real. I didn’t touch her. ”
Jaden stood up and looked at me, his eyes filled with something I didn’t quite understand. Sadness, maybe? “Just b
e good to her, bro. You, Pris and Aspen?” He rubbed his face with the back of his hand. “I need you guys. I don’t know what I’d do if anything screwed us up. ”
I nodded once, a little lost for words. We all knew things weren’t good for Jaden, but in this moment, I wondered if maybe they were a lot worse than we knew. “Want to stay at my house tonight?”
He knew what I was asking and when he replied, I knew his sarcasm was just to lighten the mood. Like I said, we were guys. It was easier that way. “You just want my help figuring out how to fix things with Pris and Aspen. ” He chuckled.
I laughed too. “You have no idea, bro. No idea. ” With that, we got to work fixing up the beatermobile.
***
“Dude, you’re going to get my ass in as much trouble as yours. ” Jaden parked behind the diner I was supposed to meet Pris at. Scratch that. The diner he was supposed to meet Pris at, only I was going in his place. It took a little bit of begging, but I managed to get him to call Pris and ask her to meet him for dinner so that I could get to her. Pris would be a lot tougher than Jaden to make up with. The girl held a grudge like no other. Not that I didn’t deserve it, but I knew I couldn’t just walk up to her house and get her to forgive me without groveling. And I definitely wasn’t doing this somewhere private. It would be much harder for her to kill me and bury the body if we were in a public place.
“I know. I owe you one, Jay. ”
“Pfft. You owe me more than one. ” He put the car in park. “Want me to wait?”
Pushing the door opened, I stopped and faced him. “Nah. If she catches you out here, I don’t want you to fall to the same fate I probably will. Go ahead and go to my house. I called Mom and she knows you’re going over. If I’m not home in a couple hours, send a search party. ”
“She’s not that bad. She just likes to take care of her friends. Nothing wrong with that. ”
I bumped Jaden’s fist with my own. “Cat’cha later. ”
“Later,” he mumbled as I got out of the car.
Jogging around the front of the building I stopped by the coffee shop and ordered a caramel latte. I hated those fro-fro drinks, but I knew it was Pris’s favorite. Or maybe I was hoping I’d get kicked out of the restaurant for sneaking a drink inside before I had to face her. Either way, ten minutes later I was holding the coffee behind my back and sneaking through the diner (someone was looking out for me because she had her back to the door) until I got to her table.
Before I lost my huevos I slipped in the booth across from her. I stilled when my eyes met hers. She looked good. Damn good, with her hair all done and make-up on her face. I couldn’t pretend to know exactly what she’d done differently, because obviously make-up wasn’t my thing, but it was pretty clear she’d put in some extra effort. The light in her brown eyes dimmed when she saw it was me and I had a feeling it had to do with a lot more than just her anger at me over Aspen. I groaned. How did I not see this before? “Don’t be mad at Jaden. I made him do it. ”
“Whatever, Bastian. Like I care. Both of you can get lost as far as I’m concerned. ” Her voice broke and she went to stand up, but I grabbed her hand.
“Wait. Please, just give me a chance to explain. ” She closed her eyes and let out a breath before looking at me again. “Please, Pris. ” I held up the drink. “I brought you a caramel latte. ”
With a sigh, she sat down. “You’re lucky we’re in public. ”
“Luck had nothing to do with it. I know you, Pris. Ouch. ” I rubbed my shin. “Damn, I didn’t think about kicking under the table. ”
She looked at her watch. “You have ten minutes, starting now. ”