10.Christmas
I spent the rest of Christmas Eve avoiding Christian. I hated that I was such a coward but my head and my heart were seriously screwing with me. I spent most of the night entertaining Susan’s girls until ten when my Uncle Doug arrived dressed as Santa Claus. Little Sierra freaked out when he called her name to sit on his lap and get a present and I was almost tempted to tell her that it was just her dad. Instead she dragged me with her and made me sit on his lap while I held her in mine.
“Looks like I’ve got double duty here,” he chuckled. “Let’s see. Here’s Sierra’s gift. And here’s something for Baylee.”
He handed me a wrapped square and there was a flash as someone snapped a picture. I glanced up and pursed my lips at my mother. “Okay,” I said as I rose with the four-year-old still in my arms, “now I’m really glad that you guys don’t have internet.” The last thing I wanted was a picture of me on Santa’s lap to go up on Facebook.
Sierra sat on my lap as she opened her present which turned out to be a Barbie doll to go with the one that Jill got. When the two went to play I opened my own present. A stack of Country CDs spilled from the wrapping paper and I couldn’t help the little laugh that came out. “Um, this is a bit random.”
“Well it’s better than whatever music you’ve been playing from your computer all week,” Amber teased sticking her tongue out at me and I knew they’d been her idea.
“You know I don’t even have a CD player, right? All my music is from iTunes.”
“So play it in your DVD player or computer,” my sister shot back.
“Fine. Thanks for the CDs.”
It was after midnight when everyone left and close to one before my parents and sister headed off to bed. I couldn’t sleep so I spent a little bit of time wondering the house trying to keep busy. I threw away wrapping paper in the living room and then paused by the fireplace where Jared’s stocking was still hanging next to mine. “Well, I guess there’s no need for this one,” I sighed to myself. I took it down and tossed it in the trash with the brightly colored wrapping paper.
When I couldn’t find anything else to do I went up to my loft and collapsed on my bed but my busy brain refused to shut down. It replayed that kiss with Christian over and over again until my thoughts were consumed by nothing but the feel of his lips against mine. I knew that I shouldn’t have been thinking about him at all but I couldn’t help it.
“Just two days, Baylee. Two days then things can go back to normal and you don’t have to worry about Christy,” I told myself but I hadn’t been expecting the painful jolt in my chest at the thought of going back to a life without him in it.
It was still early when I woke up but I guess my body was hardwired to wake up early on Christmas. The house was still silent and when the clock said it was barely seven I knew that it would be a little bit longer before people started waking up. I went down to the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal before I went back to Amber’s room right across from the base of my stairs. I sat on her bed and started eating my breakfast and it wasn’t long before I heard her groan.
“What the hell are you doing?” she mumbled, her voice still thick with sleep. “Can’t you be a little quieter?”
“I’m sorry. Does this bother you?”
“Yes. You’re dang crunching woke me up. What is that you’re eating anyway?”
“It’s Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And payback’s a bitch, little sister. Just be glad that I’m not jumping on your bed.”
She yawned and shoved her head under her pillow. I carefully set my bowl down on the dresser by her door then grabbed the pillow and started whacking her in the head with it. “Hey!” she protested while she tried to cover her face with her arms. “Baylee, that’s not fair. It’s too early. Mom!”
“Oh stop being such a baby,” I chided. “You woke me up more times than I can count. If you don’t want to get beat up with a pillow then fight back.”
“Fine!” She plucked her spare pillow from the space between the bed and wall and nailed me right in the stomach. Ouch, that thing was heavy. I hit her again but she’d grown up over the last few years and it wasn’t as easy to kick her ass in a pillow fight as it used to be.
“Girls! What’s going on here?” Mom asked as she barged in he room.
Amber and I looked at each other and started giggling. “Sorry, Mom, it was my fault. I was trying to wake her up.”
My mom shook her head and her blue eyes rolled backwards. “Seriously, Baylee? You’re twenty-five, not five.”
“So?” Amber laughed. “It’s Christmas.”
I snorted. “Yeah. It’s the one time of the year that everyone can act like a little kid.”
Even Mom laughed at that. “Oh you girls. Fine, kill each other with pillows. I’m going to call the boys and Stan and Becca. Meet me in the kitchen so we can start breakfast and then we’ll do presents when everyone gets here.”
When the door closed again I grinned at my sister and we started back up on our pillow fight at the same time.
Twenty minutes later we were in the kitchen helping my mom prepare a full out gourmet meal of pancakes, waffles, toast, eggs, bacon, orange juice and coffee. Becca was going to be bringing chorizo and tortillas so I really wasn’t sure why we were making so much food but I didn’t complain. For once I wasn’t worried about trying to eat healthy.
I was totally prepared for this Christmas to go like any of the ones before it. We were just going to hang out and I wasn’t going to have any guy troubles to mess with my head. At least, that was the plan until Christian walked in the door. He had his brown Stetson hat perched on his head like always, he wore a plaid shirt and blue jeans that hugged his butt and of course he had his boots. Christian looked every bit a cowboy and he was damn hot. My heart stuttered in my chest and I could barely take my eyes away from him.
“Merry Christmas!” Becca sang as she waltzed through the door. She pulled everyone in for giant hugs and kissed cheeks until they were red from her lipstick. “Oh, it’s so great to be home and get to celebrate with everyone.”
I pulled her into a hug after she’d finished with my parents and Amber. “Becca, I love you. I’m glad that we’re both here.”
“Me, too.”
“Merry Christmas, Baylee,” Stan said as took his wife’s place hugging me while she went to direct Christian on where to put the pots she’d brought. “It’s good to have you home for the holiday. You know that your being here has helped Becca immensely.”
“I don’t feel like I’m helping.”
He smiled, his eyes getting crow’s feet around them. “Trust me, Bay, you are. She was on the verge of depression before you got home and I was really starting to worry about her. You’re more important to my family than I think you realize.”
I shot him a sad smile and glanced in the direction of the kitchen where I could hear Christy talking to his mother. I wanted to be important to him, God knows I did, but that simple thought scared me. I’d never felt this way about another guy and the last time I was seriously into Christian it broke my heart. He and I were best friends, almost family, so it would just be easier for both of us if we let things go on like they always had. No feelings, no relationship, and definitely no more kissing. That was the revised plan and I’d be damned if I didn’t stick to it.
“Breakfast is ready,” Mom called when Bobby finally showed up. “Come and eat.”
After the delicious meal it was present time which had always been my favorite for obvious reasons. But instead of being excited to get stuff like a spoiled brat, I was excited to give out all the presents I’d bought. Okay, so maybe I wanted to show off how successful I was and how much money I had but the gifts actually were really heartfelt. Everyone loved their gifts and my sister couldn’t stop squealing over the Coach purse I’d picked up for her on Rodeo Drive.
“Okay, last present,” my dad announced after a couple of hours when most of the carefully wrapped paper lay scattered in balls around the room. “To Bay
lee. From Christy. Here ya go, honey.”
“Oh Christian, you didn’t have to buy me anything.”
“I didn’t. Just open it.”
I did. I peeled the bright paper back and found one of those white boxes department stores use to gift wrap clothes. When I pulled the lid off there definitely weren’t any department store clothes. Inside was a thick photo album covered in fabric with little horses over it. The cover picture was of me, my siblings, and Christian from when we were little taken at one of the many horse races we’d been to. I set the album in my lap and started flipping through the pages carefully. The pictures chronicled my life from when I was seven all the way until I left to California and it was almost shocking to see how big a part Christian was. I mean, of course I knew that he was important in my life but it was weird having solid evidence that he and I belonged together.
Wait, what?
I wrapped one arm around his neck and pulled him into a hug. “Thanks, Christian. This is really great.”
“Yeah, well, it’s not Rascall Flatts tickets but I figured that you might need a reminder of where you come from just in case it takes you another seven years before you come home.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “It won’t.”
His green eyes were darker than normal and locked right on me. “I hope not,” he murmured so quietly that only I could hear him. I peeked up at him through my eyelashes and saw that he was much closer than I thought. Close enough that if I craned my neck we’d be kissing.
I pulled away hastily and held the photo album to my chest like a shield. “Um, thanks, Christian. It really is an amazing gift.”
I put the new album in one of the other Christmas bags with the rest of my gifts then straightened up. Bobby and Amber had started a paper war and were trying to pelt each other with the wrapping paper balls while my parents were talking to the Matthews about what they had planned for the rest of the day. I grabbed a carrot from the refrigerator then put on my winter coat and shoved my feet into my boots. The cool air was nice and crisp as I made my way out the side door toward the stables. I went directly to Rugrat’s stall and sat on the fence. He clopped up to me and I ran my hand along his velvety nose.
“Hey, buddy. Merry Christmas. Look, I got you a present.” I held out the carrot in front of my and he started chomping away. “Like it? I thought you might.”
I sat in silence for a little while but the quiet gave me too much room to think about Christian and the fact that I was single. Christian was my best friend but ever since yesterday things were getting intense between us. It was like a switch was flipped when I broke up with Jared and now both of our feelings had increased big time.
“Are all boys this confusing?” I finally muttered to my horse so my head wasn’t buzzing like wasps had invaded. It helped to think out loud. “I mean, I know that we never dated but I thought he had feelings for me. Are guys really fickle enough to like one girl but go off and screw someone else because they’re mad?”
Rugrat blew out a breath which I took for a yes.
“That’s what I thought. They’re stupid. And I guess I am too because I think I love him.” My eyes started to water as I admitted that. “Shit. I don’t think I ever stopped loving him. That’s pretty pathetic though, isn’t it? I tried to forget about it but I can’t. What do you think I should do, Rugrat? I’m in love with Christian Matthews and I don’t know what to do about it.”
The big black horse tossed his mane and tugged at the carrot in my hand. Obviously he wasn’t going to be any help.
“You know Rugrat can’t talk back to you, right Baylee?”
The absolute last thing I was expecting was for Christy to sneak up on me so hearing his voice scared me half to death. I squealed and toppled off of the wooden railing.
And right into Christian’s arms.
My brown eyes locked on his and I sucked in a sharp breath. I could feel my face catching fire but I couldn’t make myself pull away. “Th-thanks for catching me,” I stuttered.
“Of course, Baylee. I’d never let you fall.”
A million butterflies attacked my stomach and I felt like a complete idiot. I hadn’t felt this nervous since prom night Senior year. A dance, I might add, I went to with Christian. It wasn’t fair that after all this time he still had this power over me. I gulped but blurted, “How much did you hear?”
The telltale blush that colored his cheeks was answer enough. “I walked in about the same time that you were calling yourself pathetic,” he admitted before he dropped his voice to a husky whisper. “If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re pathetic at all.”
I swallowed the nervous lump that formed in my throat. “Put me down, Christian. I need room to think.” He set me on my feet but kept his arm around my waist until my knees stopped threatening to give out on me. “You and me would not work. We’ve been friends for much too long and I don’t want to risk that. We just have to chill out for the next few days. Okay? Nothing’s going to happen between us.”
“Mistletoe,” he replied.
I’m sure my face was one big question mark. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He jerked his chin up to one of the low-hanging rafters directly above us. “Mistletoe.” Sure enough, that stupid plant was right above our heads, mocking me.
“So? I’m trying to talk to you and that’s what you were thinking about?”
“I heard you, Bay. Loud and clear. But it is a tradition,” he said with a smirk. I arched a brow at him until his expression turned serious. “You don’t think that this thing between us is worth pursuing because you’re thinking too much. Let your mind stop working and let your heart decide. Just one kiss. That’s all I ask. Give me one kiss right here, right now, without an audience so that neither of us have to put on an act or anything. Just one kiss and then you can decide.”
“It wouldn’t matter. I’m leaving soon and long distance relationships never work out.”
“It will for us,” he promised, “because I love you, Baylee. I’ve probably been in love with you since I pulled you from the ice. I was an idiot in high school for letting you go but I’ll be damned if I don’t fight for you this time. I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. We can figure out all the logistics later but I need to know that I still have a chance with you.”
I couldn’t breathe. He was saying everything that I wanted to hear but I didn’t know if it’d be enough. I needed to find out just as much as he did. I nodded slowly. “One kiss,” I agreed.
He leaned in so close that I could feel his warm breath on my lips and it sent tingles all through my body. His full lips pressed firmly to mine and I tilted my head so that there was no space between our mouths. His tongue darted out and my lips easily parted to deepen the kiss. His arms went around my waist and mine wrapped around his neck and I pulled his Stetson off so that I could run my fingers through his thick blond hair. The kiss was soft and sensual and had my heart racing faster than even Rugrat could run.
“Holy crap,” I sighed when he pulled away.
“So what do you say? Give us a shot?”
“I-I-” My head and heart were at war with each other. The sensible side of me knew that I was leaving and he couldn’t follow me but the part of me that was still reeling from that incredible kiss was yelling at me to go for it. “I can’t just leave L.A.”
“I’m not asking you to. I’ll wait as long as it takes for us to be together as long as I know that you’re waiting for me.”
“How would we ever really be together? I won’t leave California and you won’t leave Newcastle-”
“I would for you. Just let me make sure my Mom’s going to be okay and I’ll follow you wherever you go.”
I gasped. Okay, I was not expecting that. Here was this amazingly sexy cowboy who loved Wyoming and he was willing to give it all up for a life in the city with me. I felt myself nodding without any interference from my brain. “I love you,” I whispered so softly that I could bare
ly hear myself.
But Christian sure as hell did. He scooped me up and spun me around before pressing me against the stall and kissing me with a fierce passion I’d never known before.