I was met with a largely negative response; many called out in protest, calling my idea stupid. Some said they’d rather die in the house over that death trap; they argued that by staying in the house, we’d make the infected come to us rather than going out to find them and offer up our lives.
I listened to their initial remarks and outcries with frustration. It was no use trying to convince them as panic set in. They thought that going to the blockade would corner us and lead us to our deaths, but they refused to see that we were already cornered right where we were.
It took a while to finally calm everyone enough to let me speak. When they were ready to listen, I told them, “We have no other options. If we don’t try this, we’ll all die of starvation, or worse, at the hands of the infected. Would you really rather die here, helpless against the infected, when you had the chance to survive? That’s so selfish! We’re supposed to be trying to live! If we die like that, we may as well walk out there and offer those monsters our necks because they’ll have already won! I know it sounds crazy—Damn, I even think it’s a little crazy! But it’s something we have to try. Please, trust me. It’s the only option we have left.”
A man cried out against me, saying, “You hypocrite! You’re doing the same thing our last leader did! You’re gonna kill us all!” I defended myself, telling the group that the red haired woman’s father had tried to send us on a mission that would’ve killed us all. My plan was different; mine would get us out of the hell we’d been trapped in for so long, and, above all, mine had hope. I geared my statement at their hearts, telling them how my hope was a hope for living, and for our future.
The crowd grew quiet, seeming to believe me. The same man spoke up again, asking, “How would you know that this could even work? Nobody’s been to the blockade since the outbreak. It’s probably rubble by now. Then our only way out would become a trap for all of us to walk into.”
His accusation stumped me. I’d just asked those people to trust me, but I couldn’t say that I’d been to the blockade before. Politics weighed on me as I tried to think of a response. I felt like a lawyer all over again. I scoffed at the thought.
But I wasn’t a lawyer anymore; that was long gone. I’d lived, and still was, living in lies. Especially in the ones I kept telling myself. They were so heavy; I didn’t have the strength to tell another one.
I got ready to give a confession, relaying the operation that’d been conducted in detail. As I opened my mouth, ready to speak, one of the seven men spoke out, claiming, “I’ve been there! I know we can do it.”
The crowd parted, forming a ring around him as he stood alone in the middle. He nodded at me, signaling for me to remain anonymous. I consented grudgingly. He continued on, “I conducted an investigation under our previous leader with six other men. We made it through the blockade and its main complex and returned with some resistance from infected. It would be difficult, but not impossible. If this is our only other option besides dying where we stand, I say we go for it.”
Upon saying this, the other six men from the mission came forward, affirming his words. I looked on at their bravery, understanding that I had to be anonymous for this to work. True, it wasn’t as picture perfect as they told it, but it had to be to get the people on our side.
I felt guilty standing there, pretending not to know, but I knew it was for the best. I asked the group to give a brief overview of the mission so we could know what we’d be up against. They gave a quick watered-down version of our mission, making sure to tone down how many infected were there waiting for us. Their story scared some, but it looked as if it gave hope to many others. After hearing their story, I said, “I leave it up to the majority vote: we either make a last stand here, or we try to make it through the blockade.”
The vote was close. Many were in favor of staying where we were, but the group of seven men won the vote in favor of going through the blockade. I made the final announcement and said, “It’s been decided. We’re going through the blockade. Everyone get ready because we leave in three days.”
After our fate had been decided, I assigned responsibilities in preparation for our departure. We needed to make sure we were ready for anything that might come our way.
Some people came forward, asking the group what was beyond the blockade. They said it was a large forest full of beautiful green trees, and there was no doubt that a town couldn’t be far off. That gave more hope to people, enabling them to support leaving the house.
One skeptic asked for proof that they’d been there. The men pointed out the guns and other supplies we’d brought back, but that didn’t satisfy her. I noticed that the red haired woman stood nearby, eavesdropping on the conversation.
One of the men spoke about the drawings that I’d taken, claiming them as his own, and how the red haired woman’s father had taken them. After the sentence left his lips, the red haired woman turned and came right up to him. She said, “I think I’ve seen them. My dad had a couple of drawings that he’d take out from time to time. Whenever I’d ask about them, he’d tell me they were gibberish and none of my concern. That wasn’t like him at all: he always included me in everything. One day, I got a good look at them. They looked like pictures of floor plans. I never saw them again; he always put them in a different hiding place so I wouldn’t find them.”
I asked her if she knew where they were now, but she didn’t. Then I had her go up to his room to look for them. As she looked for them, I sent my little girl to pack her things and get ready while I finished preparing larger tasks that needed to be done. The red haired woman came back about half an hour later, plans in hand.
I called the group of seven men alongside myself, the red haired woman, and a few others to look at the plans. We arranged the faded drawings in order, constructing the floor plan of the complex.
The group that’d gone pointed out the access points that we could use to get through, avoiding as many infected as possible. They pointed out the areas where the debris was blocking the way, where we’d have to use hallways to get around. When they pointed out the room I blew up with a grenade as an unusable route, I blushed a little bit.
We spent quite a while going over the plans and making sure we all understood how everything was structured. Then we formed a plan sorting out how we’d go through the complex. After going through that critical part of preparation, we dispersed, starting on the other tasks that needed to be undertaken.
The first two days of preparation went smoothly, allowing everyone to leave behind anything unnecessary for survival. I decided to have a sort of final supper on the third night, saying a farewell to those we’d lost, the base we’d called home for so long, and also taking time to have hope in our future.
Around midday on the final day, we were all set to go. Some people had been delegated to prepare the meal, and everyone was ready to eat by the time it came around. As soon as it was ready, we were called in to wash up for supper.
As I was lingering behind, putting some final touches on the supplies we’d prepared outside, my little girl came up to me, trying to pull me aside. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she couldn’t tell me; all she could do was show me.
I grabbed her delicate hand as she pulled me into the house. She dragged me through the people standing in the main space of the house, leading me all the way back to our room; she really wanted to show me something. Once we’d entered the room, she told me to sit down on the bed and close my eyes. I trustingly closed them, waiting for whatever surprise she’d show me. I heard some shuffling and giggling as the girl crossed the room and returned to where I sat. She placed something crisp in my hands and said, “Okay, open your eyes!”
I opened my eyes, looking down into my hands. It was a new picture she’d drawn, but it was different from the others. Most of her pictures were of animals playing or angry infected being killed by me, but this one was a picture of an ugly looking man in a pink and green jumpsuit. He had a victorious smile on his face as
he leapt through the sky. A bright trail of colors was following him, seeming to propel him through the sky. The sky surrounding him was light blue and filled with white puffy clouds. A smiling sun was in the right hand corner, encouraging the hero to fly higher. I instinctively turned the picture over, knowing I’d see my little girl’s signature, illegibly written, on the back. Instead of seeing what I’d expected, I saw something that nearly tore my heart in two.
On the back of the paper, there was a note written in large letters. It read: “You’ll always be my hero!” Underneath, my name was written in large pink and green letters.
“Why are you crying?” the little girl asked. At that moment I realized that tears were streaming down my face. They were hitting the picture, blurring the light blue sky and the clouds together. I looked up into her eyes, which were beginning to fill with tears. “You don’t like it?” she asked in a cracked voice.
I immediately placed the drawing on the bed and wrapped the little girl in my arms. I whispered in her ear, “I love it. I absolutely love it.” I pulled the little girl back and let her stand in front of me again. We both wiped the streaming tears from our eyes as we laughed weakly.
After a moment of collecting ourselves, the little girl gave me a big smile and said, “I made that for you. You can always remember that you’re my hero and my best friend. I wanted you to have it before we leave the base tomorrow and find a nicer place to be.”
I thanked the girl again and almost began to cry for a second time. We heard the red haired woman’s voice calling us down to dinner. The little girl gave me a loving look and then bolted out the door in the direction of the stairs. I stayed and took a longer to look at the drawing.
Tears welled up in my eyes once again, landing on the paper and blurring more of the sky and its white clouds. I folded the picture into a smaller piece and tucked it into my pocket. More hot tears came down my face, landing in my open hands. I could see the moisture in my tears cleanse my dirty hands, revealing streaks of my skin against the dark dirt.
My heart hurt, but I think it was a good hurt that time. It hurt in a pleasurable way, making me feel like I’d gained something that was stitching its way into my body and filling the empty chasm of my heart. I sat there for a few more moments, reveling in that pleasurable pain. Then I stood up, wiped my eyes, and headed downstairs for dinner.
I don’t really want to talk about what happened next, but I know I must. This is why I’m doing this. I need to let the pain out somewhere, or else it’s gonna kill me. I can sense it eating me up, infecting me, and killing me with its cancer. I can feel my heart tearing apart all over again as I prepare to tell this final part of the journey. Hold on, let me collect myself…...............I can’t. I can’t pull myself back together enough to say this without it wounding me and giving me fresh pain. Damn. Okay, I’m just gonna let it hurt. I’ll tell you what happened.
It all started with the dream from before, a bad omen for sure. It’d come and gone since it first started occurring, but that time it felt too real. I lived every second of it. I even felt the end, when I swallowed myself whole. There was only one difference: I did the swallowing! I was the monster!
A voice came to me in the darkness, laughing at me and telling me, “I’m proud of you. You’re the monster. You’re the evil. Now you know who you really are.” Then I felt the darkness close in on me, crushing my soul and consuming its remains.
I woke up in such a painful and frenzied state that I couldn’t sleep anymore. I got up and went to the chair by the window. My whole body shook with fear as I looked at the sky outside. It was completely covered in dark clouds, blanketing the sky overhead. I wished I could’ve seen the bright stars and moon I was used to, but all I found was the sprinkling of a heavy rain.
I tried to sit and think for a while, but the dark thoughts that resurfaced were too much to handle. I needed to distract myself somehow; I got dressed and grabbed my backpack and my little girl’s pack that were sitting by the door. I left the room, deciding to let my little girl get some more sleep before we departed in a few hours. I carried the packs down to the front door and set them down.
I took a second to take a final look at the house. The streaks of blood had dried completely, becoming a natural part of it. The house was screaming out silently but painfully, making me nervous. I decided to go outside and watch the falling rain. The sound of rain had always comforted me, and I knew I needed some small piece of comfort as I prepared to leave.
I opened the door to the covered porch and steps, taking in the fresh smell of the moisture in the air. I looked to my right and saw the red haired woman sitting in a chair, her back against the wall. I walked over and sat in a chair next to her.
“It hasn’t rained in such a long time around here that I forgot what rain was” she said, looking off into the distance. I agreed as I adjusted myself and sat heavily in my chair. She looked over at me with a worried expression on her face.
“What?” I said, pretending not to know what she was thinking. “You had the dream again, didn’t you?” she asked, already knowing the answer. I looked out into the distance, ashamed to meet her gaze.
She continued on, “It’s a dangerous dream, you know. You can’t run from yourself forever.” She paused for a second, and then said, “Was something different about it this time?”
I was shocked by her intuition, scared that she could see me for who I really was. I hesitantly told her about it, and how I’d been the monster this time. She said, “That’s a bad sign. Something’s wrong with you, or with everything going on around you. You need to make sure you’re careful.”
I nodded silently, trying to accept her words. Then we became quiet and watched the falling raindrops hitting ground in front of us. The cloud cover spanning the sky made me uncomfortable, causing my injuries, past and recent, to ache slightly. Maybe I was just getting old. We sat together in silence until it was time for us to leave.
Everyone woke up promptly, ready to go. Some seemed hesitant to leave, but others seemed confident for what could be on the other side of the blockade. Everyone had their supplies with them and waited for some final words before we parted. I saw the seven men at the front of the group, with my little girl, the red haired woman, and my little girl’s “big sister” right behind. They all looked at me confidently, accepting my trust and giving me courage.
I gave everyone a final address in the doorway, letting the sound of the rain fill the room. I said, “I know by now that you’ve noticed it’s raining. It hasn’t rained in a very long time around here, so I guess it can be taken as a sign. What does rain do, really? It’s a cleansing and growing agent that harbors life. Think about it: if it were raining inside, all of those blood stains on the walls would be washed away. Right now all of the blood on the outside is being cleansed, making our house clean. It’s also helping things grow. Every plant in the forest and field nearby is getting a nice long drink to quench its thirst. That’ll let new plants spring from the ground, and life will continue on.
I’m asking that everyone here would let it rain in their hearts. I want all of us to be cleansed of our grief and pain while being quenched with hope. We can’t do that here, in this house, which has seen so much death and bloodshed. I know every single one of you can hear the screams of the infected and our fallen friends as you pass through the halls and every room here. That’s why we have to leave; we need to find a place where we can begin anew and grow, leaving the past behind.
I’m not saying to forget all that’s happened; all I’m saying is that we need to leave and let our wounds finally close up. We don’t need to remain here to remember those we’ve lost because we carry them in our minds and hearts every day. Take a second to look at the rain clouds covering the sky. They look gloomy, don’t they? That’s where we are now. But think about it this way; if we leave the dark covering above our heads, we’ll be able to find the sunshine we long for once again.
We have to leave
now. We have to uproot our family from this place so we can find the sun once again. I was chosen to be your leader, and I think this is what’s for the best. I’m asking you to trust me as I try to lead us somewhere where a new chapter of our lives can begin…....That’s all I really had to say.”
It was silent for some time after I finished speaking. I scanned the group before me; there were tears in their eyes. Everyone before me seemed to understand what I’d been trying to say. I felt uncomfortable standing in front of them, waiting for some sort of response to let me know if they were behind me or not.
A woman who’d lost her husband in the fighting during the attack passed through the crowd and came up to me. She was a woman about my age; she looked older because of the time she’d spent grieving for her husband over the past few days. She was a little bit shorter than me and had long blond hair. She once had emerald green eyes that shone like jasmine, but their sparkle had faded.
Losing someone who’s supposed to be your other half, and all that you have left of a life before the infection, will do that to you. She had a dry, cracked face that housed a whimpering frown. She had long streaks of tears running down her face, meeting together at her chin, making rivulets that traveled down her neck. She stood in front of me for a moment, then threw her arms around my neck. She held me tight and whispered in my ear, “He would’ve trusted you, so I will too.” That made some fresh tears collect in my own eyes, but I managed to hold them back. She held me for a little longer, then let me go, standing there before me.
I noticed that everyone else had surrounded us, bringing the whole family close. Others came up to me one by one with tears in their eyes, and told me that they’d trust me as I tried to lead them. It was an emotional time, giving me confidence as their leader as I wept alongside them.
After everyone had a chance to calm themselves, I came back in front of our family. There was no need for words as I looked into every one of their faces. I felt like I was going to cry again as I said, “Thank you so much. I will do my best for you and those we love. Let’s go.”
It took a little while for us to leave, knowing that we’d never return to the house again. I made sure everyone double-checked that they had everything they absolutely needed. The rain outside was still sprinkling down, signifying that we still had time before the real downpour began. After assuring ourselves we had all that we needed, those of us who could carry weapons grabbed them, and we went outside.
The small droplets of water felt nice and cool on my face and arms as I walked out into the open. I took in the view from the front of the house one last time; I saw over the brick wall, off into the horizon. It was a blur of gray and green as heaven met earth in what seemed the far corner of the world. The forest grounded me, allowing me to see it in its enormity. The gray in the sky seemed so meaningless; it looked as if the world hadn’t finished being created, making the horizon the edge of the world where I’d fall off into grey nothingness.
I took a second to think about our orientation; we were a group of twenty-two that could move at a decent pace. The blockade, surprisingly, was only a day and a half’s journey northward at a good pace, ensuring we’d reach it at the peak of the storm, or any time after it’d begun. I felt a small surge of confidence as I recalled that it took my group only half a day to reach it when we were sent on the mission to explore the blockade.
We came to the large steel gates of our base and slowly opened them, letting the world take complete form in front of us. The muddled image of gray and green welcomed us, prompting us to forever leave the base we’d called home. We left the confines of the brick wall and looped around to the backside of the base, heading Northward.
We walked away from the base and into the forest, and I refused to look back. If I looked back at it, even despite all of its tragedy and pain, I could still see it as a fragile security. If I looked back, I would’ve returned to it, never attempting to complete the final mission through the blockade.
I fought myself as I led the group into the forest. Everything within me seemed to signal back in the Southern direction, right back into the arms of the base and its high walls. I eventually won myself out, holding on until the house was out of view, and lost in the trees and the gray in the sky.
I focused on the low pitter-patter of the rain hitting the leaves as I led the group through the brush. My blood cudgeled within me as I tried to face the fact that we were getting closer to the blockade. It was the final obstacle that stood in our way. Making it through it was our last shot at survival.
I recollected what I’d seen on my previous visit there, and my anxiety increased with every step in that direction. I knew it wouldn’t be easy trying to get through that breeding ground for those monsters. We’d made it sound so simple to accomplish when we told the others, but I knew the truth: it truly was the pit of hell. There was nothing there but death and destruction. There was no way of telling how bad it’d become over time. I imagined the infected waiting patiently behind the black walls of the blockade, ready to exact their revenge upon us.
I tried to be hopeful in my mind, and ran through the plan we’d formed using the diagram of the blockade’s facility. It seemed like a cake walk on paper. However, I felt the creatures’ watching us, waiting for us to enter into their domain. My angst grew as a thousand pale and hungry faces flashed through my mind.
I kept re-running the plan in my mind, telling myself that we were capable. I believed we were capable of getting through; I truly believed we’d find the home we had always sought. We would’ve been home, our real home. We’d be safe from all of the things we had suffered on our side of the world.
It was unrealistic to believe that there’d be no difficulty over on the other side of the blockade, but I had to believe that it truly was what we were seeking. I had to believe and convince myself that this future was worth fighting, and maybe even dying, for. If it wasn’t, then there was no point to look to that hope or purpose. It would mean that we were just fodder for the animals, doomed to live painfully until death came for us at the hands of the infected.
I led on silently as we continued through the forest, passing clearings, streams, and trees. I tried to distract my increasing anxiety by listening carefully to the rustling of the leaves beneath my feet and the growing sound of the rain on the forest’s roof to no avail. my stomach continued to sink into my chest, becoming a lead ball that weighed me down with every step closer to the blockade I got.
Night began to creep into the forest, dimming the world around us. The shadows of the forest got longer and twisted, turning the serene forest into a horrid place full of gnarled, evil plants. The rain was getting harder as well, leaking through the roof above us and hitting our backs. I was getting ready to have us stop for the night as the darkness descended further, making it difficult to see.
Apparently our group had moved at a better pace than I thought. Right when I was at the point of having us stop, it came into view. At the edge of the trees, I saw the blockade off in the distance. It was atop a large hill, with a paved road leading up to its entrance. It looked like a dark tower before us, standing in our way and preventing us from trespassing any further upon its territory. I lost myself in its evil for a second, realizing that fear was beginning to cripple me and sap my strength.
I came to when a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned around and met the face of one of the men who’d been to the blockade before. He asked, “Should we stop here for the night? We need to rest up and be ready for tomorrow.” I nodded hollowly, consenting to his suggestion.
He looked at my questioningly, wondering what I’d do next. When he saw I’d stepped out of space and time, lost in myself, he took charge in having the group stop and set up a camp for the night. He had them use some of our materials to make a roof above us to protect us from the rain. Those without weapons sat in the middle of our camp and guarded the supplies, and those with weapons formed a circle around the camp to watch over everyone thro
ugh the night. I finally centered myself and began to contribute. I set up various watches for the night, in case any infected came around.
After setting up camp, we had a meal prepared. We ate a stew of potatoes, carrots, chicken, cabbage, corn, and peas. It was seasoned perfectly with salt, pepper, and a bit of paprika. Why I specifically remember the meal, I still don’t know. We toasted our steaming bowls, hopefully anticipating the passage through the blockade and finding freedom on the other side.
After eating heartily, everyone went to sleep as the darkness consumed us, coating the world in pitch black. I couldn’t tell where I ended and the darkness began. Everything was connected together by the bonds of darkness. It was all black, and it was all evil. It seemed so foreboding as I sat there, trying to make out the blockade as my eyes tried to adjust.
I looked off into the darkness tiredly, and I knew I wouldn’t sleep that night. If I slept, the dream would come, and I felt that if I had to experience it one more time, it would break me. I listened to the sounds of the night: owls hooting, rain pounding over us, and the small whisper of the wind in my ear. I watched the night as the red haired woman slept on my shoulder, repeatedly waking up to make sure I was faring well. I told her I was fine each time, and I could tell she didn’t believe me for even half a second. Still, she left me to my worry, preparing herself for the day ahead.
We didn’t have any trouble that night as we kept a vigil watch over ourselves, waiting for the dawn to greet us. I was the first one to see the morning light as the new day approached. Not only did the gray blanket in the sky begin to light up, but I saw the sun, even if it was for only a second.
There was a small tear in the sky’s stitching that let the sun’s rays hit earth for a split second. Its rays landed before me, hitting the grass just outside of the forest’s borders. It hit a small patch of grass, and the blades that the sun touched seemed to come alive in that short moment. They stopped their bend of depression and reached out for the sun, begging it to come down to them. They looked as if they were trying to uproot themselves as they desperately tried to reach the sun. I watched this phenomenon for as long as it endured.
As soon as the sun faded away into the clouds, the sun-kissed grass blades sunk low to the ground, even lower than the ones that hadn’t beheld the sun. I studied and thought about that for a while, trying to understand what all that could mean. Maybe it was some sort of sign. Who knows?
As the sky lit up further, allowing me to distinguish between the gray sky and the depressed earth, everyone started to get up and prepare for our departure. We had a small breakfast of the leftover stew and finished getting our supplies together.
When the group was all set and gathered together, I came before them and said, “Okay everybody, this is it. This is the last time we’ll have to see any more of this place. On the other side of the blockade is the place we’ll be able to call our home. Make sure we all stick together and help each other through this.”
I saw the angst in everyone; I could especially feel it in myself. I tried to suppress it as I continued on, “We’ve made it this far, and we’re all gonna make it through, every single one of us. I swear it. We’re a family, and family sticks together, no matter what. Okay everyone, let’s get going.”
I led the group to the blockade’s high walls. We walked alongside them until we came to their small entrance . There was a chain linked fence covered in barbed wire that acted as a doorway. On the other side of it, there was a small booth that had dried blood splattered across its interior. I climbed over the wall next to it with another man who watched my back. I went into the booth and tried to open the gate, but there was no power. The other man used his crowbar to open the doorway for everyone.
I continued to lead the group past the series of chained fences that were laced with barbed wire all around. I saw bones wedged in between each pair of gates. They probably belonged to various infected that’d gotten trapped or killed there. The skeletons of the infected we’d killed from the time before weren’t lying there in a pile, which worried me.
Still, I tried to let that small detail go as I led us to the open plain of wasteland. There seemed to be more bones scattered about the ground than I could remember, which made the lead ball in my stomach grow heavier. I reached down and grabbed a nearby skull. It was covered in scratches and deep bite marks. I almost vomited when the answer hit me.
The infected were eating each other! I threw the skull down in disgust and scanned the wasteland before me. Where I saw a graveyard of fallen souls, they’d see a buffet for the masses. Images took shape before me; I saw the infected devouring each other and the decayed bodies of soldiers. How could such evil exist? How could those demons do such a thing? They truly were animals that only fed on their hate, each other, and us humans.
I looked at the other men. They had bones in their hands and were looking back at me. We all understood what had taken place over time as the humans ran out. We looked at each other with pity and disgust. We were the only ones who knew; no one else needed to know the diabolical nature of the infected. I threw the skull down and led the group through the open wasteland as quickly as possible, rushing past the remaining skeletons in our path. After passing some blood-splattered cars, we came before the doors of the blockade.
To my surprise, they were wide open. They were the doors to hell itself; they were clawing at us, attempting to pull us into its hateful stomach. They were smeared with dried blood, eagerly waiting to paint themselves with ours.
We stopped before them, and the group patiently waited for me to make a move. I had such fear in my heart that I felt as though I were being torn apart by the very seams of my body. I tried to move, but felt as if I could only crawl. I cautiously stepped forward into the main entrance of the blockade, my descent into darkness. My feet echoed on the metallic floor of death as the darkness sucked me in. I stopped and listened.
There was no sound; nothing at all. Even the silence was hiding from the unknown lurking there, from the evil that I could feel emanating from the very walls of the place. I could only smell destruction; it smelled of the chaos of death and war and evil all in one rank smell. I stood there, paralyzed, waiting for the darkness to consume me. I strained to see before me, and was barely able to thanks to the tears in the ceiling above. They allowed the light of the gray sky to make its way into the blockade and guide my eyes.
A voice came from behind me, asking, “Are you okay?” I stood there, unable to move. The red haired woman came before me with a concerned look on her face. I looked into her eyes for a second, regaining some strength, and said, “Yeah, I was just thinking about the plan to get through this place.” She clearly didn’t believe me, but she said, “Okay…...perhaps we should get moving.”
I agreed with her and turned around, facing the group. They were still waiting, eager to hear my command. I called them before me, begging them to enter. They stumbled in and stopped before me.
I turned around and took in the complex before me. There was a humongous pile of rubble blocking the main path; it started at the ground and reached almost all the way to the roof. It was taller than I remembered, probable due to the grenade I’d thrown last time. I looked to my right. There was a room that was mostly buried in debris and a service ladder that’d been torn apart; it led to a metal walk between the roof and the floor, creating a path past the rubble, but it was too far to reach.
On my left was the way we needed to go. It was a small hallway that led to multiple others, eventually leading to the center of the complex. I called the group of men from before, the red haired woman, and a few others to me. We huddled together and went through our plan one last time.
We would take the first series of hallways to the central hub of the blockade, and then decide from there which way was the most effective for getting us through the other half. Based on the papers, we determined that there were four main hallways that led to other rooms and hallways, and each led to the ot
her side of the blockade. At least we had options. We’d already decided that we’d only split up if we absolutely had to, but we had to avoid that at all costs; it would be too easy to take us out in smaller groups. After running through our plan once more, we were ready to move.
I turned back to the group and had them follow us through the first hallway. As we began to walk, I felt a small hand slip its way into mine. I looked to my left and found my little girl looking at me with a wide grin on her face. “I want to go with you” she said in her beautiful voice that could move mountains. I clutched her hand and refused to let it go. Since she was with me, I had us walk behind the other men, letting them lead us through.
We passed through three or four hallways dimly lit by the light coming through the ceiling. The only sounds I heard were the slow dripping of water and our heavy breathing. The sounds bounced off the walls made of stone and steel, filling the hallways as we crept through. After those few lit hallways, everything went black.
The only lights that guided us were the flashlights that we had, and they provided us with weak beams of light at that. The hallways seemed long and tedious to travel through, forming a maze that could be harboring danger at every turn. I used my flashlight to look at the plans of the complex, making sure we were on track with our plan and avoiding as many dead ends as possible. We seemed to be on course, with only a few more long halls to pass through.
We turned the final corner and found ourselves in the heart of the complex. It was a command center of sorts, completely fitted out with technology. There were computers and consoles everywhere; they covered the floor and the ceiling. Rows of desks were covered in wires and rusted equipment. Even though all of the technology was probably way out of date, it still felt new to me.
A spark flashed into my mind as we scavenged the room, looking for any useful materials. What if we could find a computer that worked? Maybe we could get a message to someone for aid, or at least find out if anyone was even alive anymore. I scanned the consoles, passing over the ones with broken screens and missing parts. Most of the computers were broken or didn’t turn on when I pressed the power button. I went from computer to computer, praying to find just one that turned on. I had a few others join in the hunt, looking for a usable computer.
Others in the room scavenged from the corpses on the floor, calling out any items they found. I half-listened to these shouts as we continued to look for anything to turn on. I came across a few computers that were smeared with blood on a console at the front of the room. I jammed the power button into the console. Nothing happened. I called out to the others helping me, asking if they had any luck. They all replied with hesitant no’s.
I slammed my fist on the keyboard with defeat, causing a few keys to fly from the board and clatter on the floor. I turned and looked to my little girl, who was standing beside me. She looked up at me hopefully and said, “it’s okay, we can still get out of here. We don’t need the computers.” I looked at her and smiled. She was right. I took her hand in mine and started to walk away.
As we stepped away, a whirring sound began to fill the room. Everyone stopped and listened as the room groaned in the dense silence of the complex. A spark of hope flared in my chest as some of the monitors came to life, lighting up the dense darkness of the room. I immediately called out for a person to get on every working computer, looking for anything that could help us send a message to the outside world. I returned to one of the blood stained computers and typed in various commands into the system. It slowly responded, pulling up various tabs of information. I scanned through them quickly, reading through operations and protocols related to the outbreak so long ago.
Finally, I came across an emergency response system that had direct communications between the central complex and the military. This system fell under a tab called Shadow-Man. I stopped and called out to the others, asking if they found anything useful. They tried for a while, but were unable to find anything. I called them over to me to see if I’d found anything viable. They crowded around me, looking at what I’d found. I decided to send a message to the command, asking about the status of the outbreak.
We waited hesitantly around the computer for a response. After a few moments, a return message came back. My eyes grew wide with surprise as I read the message out loud. It read, “What is the status of your situation?”
I looked around as the others encouraged me to send another message telling them about our situation. I typed a message relating how horrible conditions had gotten in our area, the decrepit nature of the complex, and our plans to get through the blockade. I was patted on the back as we waited for another response. Chatter buzzed around my head; everyone was hopeful that the military would come and save us.
What pains me the most is how everything fell apart with the next message. I’m so angry that those who were supposed to help us turned on us, just like the infected. I’m filled with contempt for them and what they did. The red haired woman tells me that I need to forgive, to try to understand. But I can’t. I hate them, even more than I’ll ever hate the infected. Those bastards sent us into the jaws of death and wrote our end.
The next message blipped onto the screen before us. I read it to myself and slammed my fists on the console in anger. I turned to those around me as their hope faded. The red haired woman yelled out, “There’s no way they can do this! It’s murder! The bastards!”
A few of those waiting by the doors called out, asking what happened. I fell down to my knees as the alarms started to go off, filling the room with intolerable noise and flashing red lights. The message flashed before me, fueling a fire of hatred inside of me. I read it once again, trying in some way to understand what they were thinking, sentencing us to death like that.
The message looked back at me, relaying the fact that the military had forsaken us by initiating operation Failsafe, which would shut down the complex on the military’s side, locking us on our side of the blockade and preventing us from reaching theirs.
The whole complex seemed to crumble as the protocols took place. The procedure they were taking came up on the screen: they’d let the steel-locked doors on their side go down. Then they’d bar up their side, shutting down the blockade.
I stood up, left my little girl’s hand, and started smashing the technology with my fists, my machete, chairs, and anything I could find. I screamed out amidst the wailing sirens, hating everyone and everything in that moment. I went into a rage, destroying any piece of technology in my path. I don’t know how long I did this, but I found myself against one of the cold stone walls, crying out angrily as I pounded the floor with my fists.
The red haired woman came up to me and kicked me hard in the stomach. She pulled me up, yelling above the sirens, “Get up! We don’t have time for this! We have to get out of here!” I stopped myself and collected my gear. She pushed me forward, telling me to start giving out commands.
I took charge and sent a few people to see if everything had been closed off ahead. I had some others bar the doors on our side. They stacked desks, tables, computers, and whatever else they could find in the hallway, closing us off from the rest of the complex. A few minutes later, the men I’d sent returned, verifying that steel doors were in the way, locking us in. I immediately had them disable the wailing sirens so I could think. Dense silence filled the room again, and the leftover monitors provided us with some light.
I stationed men at both doors, just in case the infected came near. I called some people to me so we could form a plan. I looked over to the red haired woman, who was cradling my little girl in her arms as I spoke. We tried to come up with options, but only found two: we could go back the way we came in, or we could try to find some another way out through the roof or a service tunnel.
We looked around on the floors and ceilings for a hatch, and we found a panel that allowed access to the vents above us. First, we decided we’d try to make our way back the same way we’d come in. If that failed, then
we’d use the vents to lead us back to the entrance. I called everyone to me, except those at the doors, and told them our plan.
We frantically prepared to depart, gathering everything together. I told the men who barricaded us into the room to tear the wall down. A large crash broke the silence as tables and computer modules fell to the floor. As we prepared to leave the room, a rumbling sound filled the room. I hushed everyone, trying to hear the sound more clearly. It got louder with each passing second, almost as if a tidal wave were coming down upon us.
The red haired woman told the two men guarding the door to check out the noise. The men picked up some flashlights and vanished into the darkened hallway. After a few seconds, the rumbling got low, crawling along the floors of the complex. Then horrible screams filled the room over the sound of the rumbling, causing everyone in the room to panic. That could only mean danger for us.
I sent two other men after them, who hesitantly obeyed my orders and disappeared as well. I turned back to the others and told them, “We have to go through the vents; it’s our only way out.” The others unanimously agreed with me.
I grabbed a tall table and placed it underneath the vent access door. I pulled the heavy grating off of the ceiling and threw it down on a nearby desk, breaking it and the computers that were on top. The loud crash forced everyone to turn back towards the unguarded door, which remained dormant. I got down from the table and had another man take my place. I had him start pulling people up into the vents, telling them to make their way back to the entrance of the facility.
I grabbed a flashlight, unsheathed my machete, and called three other men to me. We had to see what’d happened to the others that disappeared. They grabbed their weapons and another flashlight as we headed to the door. One of the men stopped me, telling me he’d lead the way. I disagreed with him, but when the others told me let him lead, I passively accepted.
I turned around and looked at everyone being lifted into the vents. I saw my little girl getting on the table with the red haired woman; both of them looked at me with worry, silently asking me if I’d be okay. I nodded, affirming I’d meet up with them again. I looked around at the base of the table; most of us had been sent into the vents to escape.
That gave me some relief as we prepared to search for the others we’d lost. The men asked if I was ready as I turned back to face them. I consented and we snuck over to the doorway.
When we reached the hallway, the low tone of the rumbling seemed to grab our feet and pull us in the direction of those who’d gone before us. One of the men let the weak beam of light lead our eyes down the long hallway; it didn’t even reach halfway. We looked at each other reluctantly, wondering if this was a good idea. The lead man shrugged his shoulders and walked into the darkness. The rest of us could do nothing but follow.
As we walked, the rumbling in the hallway increased in pitch and strength. It became more of a loud squeal as we stopped to listen. The hallway seemed to shake all around us as the sound increased quickly. Shrieks bounced off of the cold walls, sending a shiver down my spine, and preventing all of us from moving. The sound got louder and louder, ringing in our ears. I felt as if my brain were melting and leaking out of my head. All of a sudden, the sounds stopped.
The dark silence of the hallway stood in between us and whatever was lurking in the shadows. We waited, staring into the abyss before us, waiting for any movement or sound. Everything told me to run, not looking back, but I was glued to my spot, immobilized by fear.
The silence broke as we heard a tearing sound in the dark. It echoed in the silent hallway, amplifying its sound, making the tearing sound all the more horrible. Then it flew at us. It was an arm, a human arm. It landed dully, sliding across the floor and landing right in front of me. A trail of fresh blood led from my feet into the shadows of the hallway. The arm was in front of me, its hand still clenching and relaxing as it twitched on the floor. I felt vomit rising in my throat as I watched it move. The others stared at it, all of us not knowing what to do.
“All right” I whispered, “We have to get outta here. The others are dead.” They all nodded in agreement, and we started to shuffle our feet back towards the control room. As we moved back, still facing the darkness, one of the men dropped his flashlight.
He juggled it in the air, trying to grasp it as it tried to flee. He wobbled it around, but it still escaped. It crashed loudly on the floor, sliding into the dark of the hallway. It came to a rest at the feet of the creatures of the complex. The dim light illuminated countless pairs of bloody, cracked, and gnarled feet. Blood was all over the floor, coating the feet of the infected and the walls of the hallway.
I turned and ran, the others following behind me. A thousand shrill cries filled the hallway as our footsteps led us back to the control room. The stampede followed us close behind; the sounds of thousands of feet clapped on the floor, an applause that made a cold sweat break out all over my body.
We made it to the control room as the applause rattled our bones. We scrambled towards the table that stood underneath the open vent. I turned back to see the infected crash into the room. They were like wasps swarming out of their nest, covering everything in sight. They were disgusting to behold.
There were so many of them. Infected men, women, and children piled over one another as they chased after us. The front runners were soaked in fresh blood; their crimson bodies served a stark contrast to the pale infected running alongside them. I let out a scream, ordering the men to hurry into the vents. The first man rushed past me and leapt right up into the ceiling. He turned back and extended his hand to pull me up. I grasped it tightly and threw myself into the vent. I turned and waited to help the others who’d fallen behind us. What happened next still haunts me.
One man was halfway through the room, but the last man was right in front of the tidal wave. I screamed for the last man to hurry, seeing he had little chance to escape. The man with me in the vent pulled out a grenade, getting ready to toss it into the room. As the man closest to us reached the table, the other was caught by an infected at the ankle. He tried to jump and free himself, but he tripped over a desk and landed hard on the ground. The two of us in the vent yelled out as the infected crashed upon him.
The man on the table stopped short. He turned and saw his friend being consumed by the monsters. You could almost hear him snap as he lost control. He pulled out a pistol and fired upon the infected, leaving the table to encounter them head on. I can’t remember what I screamed out as he left us to help his friend, but I remember that the man next to me prepared to throw the grenade into the room below us. I looked over at him and tackled him, trying to wrestle the grenade from him. He yelled out, “What the hell are you doing?! We have to kill them!” I screamed as I tried to take it from him, saying, “No! We can’t! Stop! There’s still time!”
We continued to wrestle, but he got the upper hand. He got his legs underneath me and kicked me off of him. Then he jumped on me, punching me repeatedly in the face as I helplessly defended myself. Then he shoved me to the opposite side of the vent. I watched as he turned, pulled the pin out of the grenade, and threw it towards the middle of the room below. I dove and tried to catch it, but I just tipped it, causing it to land even closer to the waves of infected filling the room.
The last thing I saw was the man going back to help his friend. He was using a broken chair leg as a sword, fighting his way to his friend’s half-eaten corpse. The infected were attacking him from all sides, but he still managed to keep them at bay. He looked back to us as the grenade landed right next to him. He gave us an understanding nod, picked up the grenade, and dove into the midst of the infected, slashing as he went.
The grenade went off, filling the room with fire. The man in the vent pulled me away just in time to avoid the blast. The vent shook vigorously and filled with heat for a long moment. I shut my eyes as a hot wave passed over me and singed my hair. I opened my eyes as the man grabbed the collar of my shirt and l
ooked me in the eyes. Tears were streaming down his cheeks; they were flashing red and orange in the light of the fire below. He said nothing for a second, then he threw me against the wall of the vent and said, “Let’s go.” He crawled off into the darkness, leaving me behind. I put my hand to my face, feeling that I had tears running down it. I sucked in a few heavy, shallow breaths, and followed in his direction.
We traveled along the ventilation system for some time, feeling our way through the dark. After squeezing through a series of smaller spaces, we came across a giant gap in the venting system. There were metallic fires burning on both sides of the gap; someone must’ve let a grenade loose in the events. I kicked a piece of fiery metal into the abyss below to gauge how deep it was. It fell rapidly, completely disappearing from view.
That was it; we were stuck. We started to plan, looking for any kind of solution. The man looked up, pointing out some wires and cables that were dangling from the ceiling above us. I looked around, seeing no other ways to cross the pit below. I looked back up at the wires; they didn’t look very sturdy, but it was our only option. We climbed on top of the vent and clambered up the wall to get closer to the hanging wires.
Once we were close enough, both of us grabbed large handfuls of wires and prepared to jump. The man suggested we both go at the same time in case the wires didn’t hold. I agreed with him, and we counted down from three.
We leapt from the wall at the same time, ripping the wires we held out of the ceiling as we crossed the gap. Sparks flew as he landed first, blinding me. I pulled a hand up to block my face, and I lost grip on the wires I was holding. I landed on the jagged edges of the vent, which stabbed me directly in the chest. I let out a painful cry as I slipped, lowering towards the open mouth of the abyss. The man caught me as my hands slipped and I fell. He strained to pull me up into the vent, pulling with all his might. He dragged against the sides of the vent to pull me up. The metal pierced me, cutting my arms and chest as I was pulled upwards.
Once I was in the vent, we both sat back to catch our breath. I checked myself out, looking for wounds; I had a few deep cuts on my arms, which were bleeding slowly. I lifted my shirt, revealing two deep gashes in my chest with blood gushing out. I tore my shirt and created a band that I tied against my chest to slow the bleeding. The man asked if I was okay, and I said, “I’m a lot better off than if you’d let me fall.”
He let out a chuckle and breathed a sigh of relief. We sat there for a second in silence, looking over at the other side of the vents. We could hear the shrill cries of the infected, and they were getting louder as they chased us into the vents. I looked over at the man and said we should probably get out of there. He nodded, and began to crawl off, me close behind.
We continued on through the vents, hoping we’d find the others. We found some broken metal pipes that were pointed at the end as we crawled along; they made perfect weapons. We kept moving in the dark vents, finally coming across a large room; I remembered it being close to the beginning of the complex.
We jumped out of the vent, landing in a large office. It was quiet as we rummaged through the room, not finding anything useful. We left the room and trudged through a series of dimly lit hallways. I glanced through the broken windows of offices as we passed, taking in the grim scenes of death and destruction.
We went on and came across another large office. We looked through this one as well, and the man happened to find a map of the complex hidden in a desk drawer. We studied the map, locating ourselves and realizing we were very close to the beginning of the blockade. I stopped to rest for a few minutes, feeling a bit lightheaded. I checked on my wounds again, making sure my torn shirt was even tighter across my chest. After resting for a bit, we continued on.
We walked through a few more hallways, clamoring about in darkness. We came upon another hallway when the sounds of gunshots filled the air. We instinctively dove to the ground, waiting for them to cease. When they didn’t, we decided to check out the situation.
We rounded the corner slowly and came across some of our group guarding the exit door of a large room. We entered the room and saw a crowd of infected coming through on the opposite side. They were being mowed down by gunfire, creating a rising pile of carcasses in the middle of the room. We entered into full view of those shooting the infected and they saw us. They motioned us over while their yells were muffled in the gunfire.
The man and I made our way across the room, staying close to the walls on the right side. A few infected broke away from the others, coming straight at us. The man slashed two or three, incapacitating them. I killed one, and then allowed another to dive right into the metal rod as I shoved it into its chest. We kept out of the crossfire, reaching the men guarding the exit.
They motioned us down the hallway, yelling for us to help the others escape. Our thanks were lost in the sounds of the bullets as we left. We went down a dark hallway and turned into another. I collapsed as we turned the corner.
My vision went blurry and my head pounded as I fell to my knees. Bloody spittle was running out of my mouth, forming a puddle in front of me. I put my hand to my chest, feeling the blood that’d soaked through my shirt. The man came and helped me up, asking if I was all right. I barely heard him over the pounding in my head. I assured him I was fine as I tried to walk on my own. I fell against the wall, trying to keep steady. He came alongside me and pulled me over his shoulder. He said, “You’re sure as hell not all right” as he helped me walk along.
I laughed weakly as more bloody spittle fell from my mouth. My right hand still held tight to my metal rod, which was scraping loudly against the floor. I had him stop so I could look at the map; I needed to see how far we had to go to get the hell out of there.
The map gave me hope as I saw that we were close to the entrance of the blockade. One long hallway and we’d be able to find the others, who’d most likely gotten out of there and were making their way back to base. I felt somewhat content that my little girl and the red haired woman had gotten out safe with the others. The prospect of them living gave me enough strength to walk on my own. I led the way down the hall, eager to taste freedom. I even saw a dim light at the end of the hallway, which I assumed to be the light of the day outside. When I reached the end of the hallway, all of my hopes were gone.
The deceitful light at the end of the hall was just some light coming through the high ceiling of the blockade. I fell to my knees again as I saw the doors to the entrance closed. They were sealed shut, and some members of the group were clawing at them. They looked like trapped animals; I felt the fear in their eyes as they desperately attacked the entrance doors. They were begging for anything to happen, for the doors to miraculously open and set the free. I saw a few others watching the animals with tears in their eyes; amongst them were my little girl and the red haired woman.
They were crying as they held each other, which tore my heart in two. I reached out to them, weakly calling their names as more blood spurted from my mouth and I fell to my knees. They couldn’t hear me; they were too focused on the sealed doors.
The man helped me up again, carrying me as I dragged my feet along the floor. I still refused to let go of my weapon; I clung to it for dear life. The scraping sound it made comforted me as the sound distracted me from my weakening state. I studied the doors as we went over to them. The doors were barred across with metal rods that extended the entire span of the door frame. They were thick; way too thick to move, even if we had an army. They’d most likely been shut earlier by the override the military had used; they lied to us again.
More hate arose within me. They said they would only close their side. The bastards! Now we were all trapped with the infected biting at our backs. I called out to everyone as we reached them, trying to gain their attention.
The red haired woman was the first to face me; she held my little girl in her arms while holding a pistol in her left hand. Their eyes got wide as they saw me in my weakened state. The man car
rying me threw his metal rod at the doors. It made a loud clanging sound that made everyone else face us. Their eyes got wide with worry as well. Some kept trying to unleash the steel bars more fervently, and the others flocked around the two of us.
My little girl came up to me while weeping; she hugged me with all of her might, which made my whole body shake with pain. She said, “You’re hurt! You’re hurt! I’m scared! We’re trapped! We have to get out of here or else the monsters are gonna eat us! Please don’t die!”
I began to cry as the red haired woman approached, prying my little girl from me so I could breathe. My little girl wrestled in her arms, trying to get back to me. The red haired woman said she was glad I was okay while holding the fussing girl; there was an expression of grief on her face. Her watering eyes had so much they wanted to tell me, but she couldn’t bring herself to say any words. I weakly remarked, “I’ve seen better days. Don’t worry; I’ll be fine.”
The others in the crowd came closer to us, desperately asking what we were supposed to do. I began to cry again; I put a hand over my face as the tears came, and admitted I didn’t know. I sobbed, thinking of all the lives that would be slain there over my vain hope of getting through the blockade.
The man tried shaking me out of my despair, telling me that now was not the time to grieve; we still had time and life left. I agreed with him, trying to stop the tears that kept flowing down my face. I looked around the room as I sobered up, trying to find anything that could help us.
It was difficult as the crowd rushed me; they begged me to hurry as shrill cries emanated from the hall behind us. I looked up and saw a tear in the wall where some light was shining through. It was high above us, near the top of the giant entrance doors. I saw the metal walk that extended to it; it didn’t reach to the giant pile of rubble that sealed us into that small space. I looked at the broken service ladder attached to the walk; it was too far away as well. We’d have to climb along the wall to reach it. If we could climb the rubble and get across the wall, then we had a chance. It was our only chance.
I turned back to the group, telling them what I could see. They looked at it, guessing it could work. I had two men try it out to see if it was at all possible. They struggled to climb the high pile of rubble, knocking large boulders down near us as they ascended. They climbed along the wall and made it to the metal walk. They ran across the metal grating, moving to the tear in the wall. One of the men went through as the other waited.
After a few moments, the man waiting yelled down to us. The blockade had a steep slope to it, which let the other man slide down towards a drop-off, which kept him from climbing back up to the tear in the wall. Knowing that the plan could work, we decided to give it a go.
As soon as I said it would work out loud, everything changed. A mad scramble broke out, starting with those who’d been clawing at the doors. They turned towards the pile of rubble, sprinting right into us, knocking most of us down as they stampeded through.
I was knocked to the ground. I watched the feet try to fly over us; most of them stumbled and stepped on our bodies. I watched as the red haired woman and my little girl fell, hitting the ground with thuds. I was kicked in the face and chest as they ran through, forcing me to scream out in agony. My vision blurred, going in and out as I watched those around me being trampled. I heard the cries of my little girl and the red haired woman amidst the panic. I heard a few wet snaps, which I believe were the breaking of bones.
After the group stampeded past and my vision cleared, I got on my stomach and dragged myself over to the others. I saw my little girl holding her leg, which was most definitely broken. The red haired woman sat up, holding her bloody face and her ribs. Various others around me had swollen bodies, trying to get to their knees. I looked to my left, where the man who’d helped me was nursing a broken wrist.
I dragged myself over to the girls, stopping short as the rumbling started. I looked at the pile of rubble, which was giving way under all of the people rushing towards the high metal walk. The room shook as the rock broke away from itself, sending those on top plummeting back down towards us. I screamed for everyone to get clear of the avalanche as we tried to pull ourselves away from the falling rock. I jumped on top of the red haired woman and my little girl as the rocks came tumbling down.
I coughed as I opened my eyes. The light was illuminating the dust in the air; the dirt crystals shone like stars as they danced in the light. I called out, asking if anyone could hear me. I heard a few muffled responses as I checked on the girls beneath me.
The red haired woman and my little girl were clutching onto me while they cried. I removed myself from their grip and tried to pull myself up, but I realized that my feet were caught underneath some of the rubble. The girls got out from underneath me, nursing their injuries. The man who’d helped me broke out from underneath some of the rubble, helping lift the rocks that covered my feet.
I looked up at the metal walk; there were three men and one woman watching us from above. They called down to us, asking if we could make it up. I looked over at the pile of debris still standing. Only half of it was there, and the pile had centered itself right below the broken service ladder. I yelled up to them and said we’d try to get up there using the ladder. They said they’d wait at the top of the ladder to help us onto the metal walk.
I had the man with us look for other survivors while I turned my attention back to the girls. The red haired woman stood up, taking my crying little girl up in her arms. She helped me stand, asking if I was strong enough to climb. I assured her I was, sending her ahead of me to climb. I found my metal rod and used it as a cane to help me climb. I ascended the rubble, but I stopped as I felt my body growing even weaker. The wounds in my chest and arms were burning me up from the inside out, making me feel as though I’d been set ablaze. I felt warm blood rising in my throat; I started to choke and cough blood onto the rocks below me.
The man returned from his search and came up to me. He placed his metal rod at his feet, sat down, and let shallow breaths leave his body. I watched as he held his broken wrist and cursed beneath his breath. I asked him again if there’d been any other survivors, to which his watering eyes told me more than I needed to know. Pain welled up in my chest as I tried to envision what he’d seen, and for all the lives that’d been lost because of me.
He saw it in my eyes; he looked at me and said, “It’s not your fault………..It’s not.” I tried to believe the words coming out of his mouth, but the burning pains in my heart were telling me otherwise. I nodded, lying to give him some comfort with what he’d said. He grabbed the metal rod he’d set down, came beside me, and helped me start climbing. The girls weren’t far ahead of us as we climbed, and as the final flood came rushing in.
The evil cries of the infected filled the halls and the small prison we were trying to escape from. Everyone stopped, looking back as the tide came in. A large crowd of infected smashed into the room, covering the ground beneath us. They tore into the rubble, digging out the corpses of the others and beginning to feast.
Blood rained down on the infected as they tore into the bodies, coating their pale skin with red. I cursed them with every word I could think of as they tore bodies apart, splitting them into pieces as tearing sounds filled the room alongside their cries. The man dragged me up the rubble as I tried to pull myself away in the direction of the infected; I wanted to fight all of them with the metal rod I held tight in my hand. I screamed and kicked as I was dragged away, looking on with hate as bloody body parts and organs flew through the air.
As I cursed, I gained the attention of many infected. Fear crept down my spine as I saw many of them make eye contact with me, hungering for their next meal. My bravery fled as I looked upon them, rearing up and getting ready to attack. I turned, allowing the man to help me up as their screams echoed in the room. I kept my eyes forward, seeing that the girls weren’t far from us; the red haired woman struggled to climb with my little girl clingi
ng to her. I shouted for them to hurry, hearing the screams of the infected getting louder as they started to climb the rubble after us.
The man and I vaulted over the rubble quickly, driven by fear. We sped over rocks and kicked some down to slow the creatures. We came alongside the girls and helped them up the rubble. We inched closer to the broken ladder as the creatures came near. The man turned around, kicking the lead one square in the face. I turned and stabbed another in the side. Both tumbled down the rubble, taking some of the others down with them.
I saw all of the infected in the room were climbing the rubble, headed straight towards us. We rapidly scaled the last of the rocks and reached the service ladder. I sent the red haired woman up first; she was wheezing from exhaustion and could barely stand. My little girl jumped out of her arms and into mine. Some bloody spittle was flowing from the side of the red haired woman’s mouth as she looked at me with thanks. She turned and climbed up the ladder as quickly as she could.
I turned my attention to my little girl. I said, “I need you to ride on my back. You can’t let go no matter what, okay?” She nodded and then climbed onto my back, latching onto me with all of her strength. She wrapped her good leg around my torso, which made me cringe with pain. Her broken leg dangled freely in the open air. I handed my weapon to the man and began to climb. I looked down and saw the man right behind me, fending off a group of infected that were at the base of the ladder.
I continued to climb, trying not to let go as my head throbbed and my vision went in and out again. My chest was pounding hard, feeling as though it would burst at any second. I reached the metal walk and had just ascended to it when I lost everything…...
I looked down to see the man overcome by an infected, fending it off with the metal bars. As he fought, another infected leaped from the one fighting the man, using it as a step to leap to the metal walk. Its gigantic body flailed in the air for a second, and its hands grasped the edge of the metal walk. It threw itself onto the walk and landed in front of me, rearing up for an attack.
I’ll never forget that infected; I hope it burns in hell for what it did. Its vivid image still haunts the shadows of my mind. I can feel its presence lurking about within me, gnawing away at my sanity.
It was the largest infected I’d ever seen. Its body was covered in faded tattoos, and I could see all of them through the bloody jeans and torn shirt it was wearing. There was a tattoo of the grim reaper nailed to a cross with a scythe through his head on its left arm. The inscription underneath read: “I’ve killed Death; what can you do to me?”
Its forearms and hands were tattooed over with vines covered in thorns. Blood was dripping from each of the thorns. Its left leg had a tribal design that went from its thigh down to its ankle, and through its torn shirt I could see flames tattooed on its chest.
A few long strands of white hair were clinging to its scalp. Open wounds covered its body, and each one was oozing a greenish red liquid. Its cloud white eyes held small black veins reaching for irises that were no longer there. Its nails were long, gnarled, and dripping blood. It seemed to smirk as green spittle flowed from its red mouth.
It rose and stood before me, breathing heavily. It towered over me, causing a sweat to break out over my shaking body. I told my little girl to go over to the others, and she limped quickly away after I bent down to let her go. I turned back to the infected and took a nervous step back, stepping into two other men on the metal walk, who were standing behind me and shaking as well.
I looked past them, seeing the women and one of the men standing by the tear in the wall. I turned back to face the behemoth, gaining slight courage as my friends stood with me. The creature contorted its body and bent low to the ground, rearing to attack. I looked at the men with me; they were waiting for someone to make a move. So was I. The monster lunged forward, breaking the stalemate and making the first move. The three of us charged him, taking defensive positions as it rose into the air above us.
It kicked one of the men in the chest, sending him flying into the others by the tear in the wall. It grabbed the other man and smashed him into the wall face first; I heard a small crunch as his face hit the wall. I saw an opportune moment and tackled the beast hard in the stomach, sending us towards the edge of the metal walk. I punched it in the face repeatedly as I knelt on its chest; it laughed shrilly, numb to my attack. After a few more punches, It grabbed my throat and lifted me high into the air as it got out from underneath me. I gasped for air as it held me suspended over the edge of the metal walk.
It all happened in slow-motion. I watched my little girl tear herself away from the others and limp over to our fight. I tried to scream for her to stop as I gasped for air. She came right up to the infected, latched onto its leg, and started clawing at it. The infected turned its attention to her for a split second, giving me the chance to raise my legs to my chest and kick it in the throat. It threw me away as it hit the wall of the blockade, holding its throat and gasping for air.
I was suspended in the air for a second before I latched onto the edge of the metal walk. I had both hands clutching onto it with all of my strength. My little girl came to me, trying to pull me up onto the walk to no avail. I looked over her shoulder and saw the infected regain its breath and start walking over to us. I screamed for my little girl to run, but she wouldn’t leave me. I started to curse at her, yelling for her to leave me at all costs. The infected kept coming closer, extending its hands towards us, which was all the more horrible as I watched in slow-motion. As it came up to us, the red haired woman flew into it, knocking it over the edge. I watched in horror as it latched onto the leg of my little girl, taking her with it.
I screamed and instinctively wrapped my legs around her, holding my little girl with all of my strength. My grip faded fast as I looked down, seeing that the infected was clinging onto her good leg. The red haired woman, the other woman, and the men came to me, trying to keep me from letting go. I howled in pain as I could feel my arms tearing themselves from my body; I was being ripped in half as I held the weight of both my little girl and the infected.
My little girl was clutching my stomach as she screamed for help, but none would come. I looked up with helplessness at them, yelling for them to do something as I started to slip. They took off their shoes and threw them down at the infected, trying to make it release its grip.
One of them hit my little girl in the hand, causing her to let go and start slipping from in between my legs. I looked down and saw the infected swing its arm and grab the broken leg of my little girl. Her painful cry filled the entire space; I cried out angrily as I remained helpless. Her screams pierced my ears and my heart as the infected tugged at her. She slipped farther away from me, begging for me to save her. I screamed at her, yelling, “Don’t let go! Don’t let go! Don’t let go! Don’t let go!”
Tears flew down my face as I felt my arms separating from my body. The infected cried out as it pulled even harder on my little girls’ legs. Her screams were killing me, and her grip slipped again.
My legs shook and twitched as I held onto her with all the strength I could muster. I yelled out in utter agony as my arms separated from my body, the sounds of the dislocations filling my ears. The only thing holding me up was the five people on the metal walk.
The infected pulled even harder on my little girl, and I heard the loud pop of her legs as they separated from her body. She let go as I looked down and saw her jade eyes for the last time.
My legs reached out to try to grab her, but I missed. I saw the two of them fall towards the ground below us. I screamed nonsense as my heart shattered in my chest and the others pulled me up onto the metal walk. I couldn’t move as I cursed them. I cursed everyone and everything as they dragged me away and slid me out of the tear in the wall of the blockade.
The bright gray clouds blinded me as I entered the air outside. I screamed and cried and kicked and cursed as I went down, landing hard on the ground in front of the
blockade.
I tried to get up, to go back in and try to save my little girl. I knew it was too late, but I couldn’t let it go. I had to go back in. She needed me. I made her a promise. I had to keep it no matter what.
I couldn’t get past my knees as pain surged through my body. I continued to scream and cry and kick as the others came down, coming alongside me and dragging me back in the direction of the base we’d left.
The man who helped me through the blockade managed to escape fighting the infected. I saw him pull the pin to a grenade and throw it into the tear behind him as he leapt down and slid to us.
The group dragged me away into the distance as the explosion filled the air. I saw the flames well up, spitting a few infected bodies out onto the ground. I yelled at the man as he came near; I ordered him to go back and save my girl. He walked behind the group with his hands in his pockets and his eyes focused on the ground. He said “I’m sorry” softly in my direction, but I was so deranged that I spit the blood running out of my mouth in his direction. I looked up and saw the face of the red haired woman; she faced forward as tears ran down her face. I felt her squeezing my hand as she dragged me along. I yelled at her too, trying to guilt her into helping me go back and save my little girl. She just kept her face forward, trying to ignore the hurtful things I screamed at her.
I continued to protest as they dragged me away from that place. I cursed them, I cursed the infected, I cursed everything, I cursed myself for losing everyone, and most of all, I cursed myself for losing my little girl.
I broke my promise to her. I broke the only promise I had to keep. I failed; I became the monster. I screamed hateful words until my voice was hoarse, and I kicked until the pain wouldn’t let me move any more.
Tape #14