* * *

  15

  Tony nuzzled my neck and slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. “I got it. Actually you have it right now.” His quiet whisper tickled my ear.

  Dr. Marsh had paused a short distance away and was watching us. It was almost clinical. I considered his profession. We weren’t going to fool him much longer. I turned my head toward Tony’s. Our lips met. His eyes widened. I could hear Dr. Marsh’s footsteps. I deepened the kiss. Tony responded. I felt the warmth spreading through me. It wasn’t like kissing Philip. Tony was closer to my height. Our bodies seemed to naturally fit together. I began to feel the way his body was in contact with mine. His hands moved along my back.

  Dr. Marsh cleared his throat. “Could you take your groping elsewhere? Some of us have work to do.”

  Tony broke the kiss. I was glad he was holding me so tightly or I might have fallen. He looked over at the man. “Excuse me! It’s lunch time.” He pulled me away from the door. “Come on. There are other quiet corners in this place. We’ll find another one.”

  We walked away. I glanced back and saw Dr. Marsh disappear into the room. “Did you see what he was carrying? Those are some of the chemicals David described.”

  Tony pulled me in the direction of the library. He was very quiet. We paused by the library door. He hugged me. I could feel him shaking. He rested his face on my shoulder. “Why did you do that?”

  “Dr. Marsh was watching us. The guy is a clinical psychiatrist. He would have known we were faking it.”

  He was having trouble breathing. “Please don’t tell Davy about that or I’m gonna lose my badge.”

  I pulled his face up. “Why?”

  His eyes looked glassy. “Because you are only seventeen and I am twenty five. That’s a serious fine line.” He traced the edge of my face with his thumb. “There are rules in this business because Davy and I are adults. There are things we’re not supposed to do with the students in the schools we’re working in. You know what I mean?”

  I could hear his voice. There was no slur to his words. This was Tony the officer talking. “I don’t want to get in trouble but I didn’t want Dr. Marsh to ask any questions either.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the key.

  He took it and examined it in the light. There were slight indents along both ridges. “Looks like it caught all the tumblers.” He put it back in the case. He looked at his watch. “There’s only two minutes before the bell rings. I’ve messed up your study schedule.”

  I could feel the shift in topic. There were things I really wanted to say to him but I was afraid to. I really liked the way he kissed but would he take that wrong if I told him? “I’ll manage.”

  He hugged me again. We walked toward the social sciences wing. He was still very quiet. I saw Ms. Henning at the classroom door talking to Ms. Green. Tony pulled us to a stop. “Ten to one she’s looking for you. I hope I haven’t gotten you in trouble.”

  The laugh escaped. “Are you kidding? You’re the least of my issues. Consider my life. I’m almost waiting for a Martian attack or something totally off the wall.”

  He laughed, too. “Point taken.” He hugged me. “I’ll be watching for you.”

  The bell rang. We walked to the door and I mentally braced myself. Ms. Henning looked at me. “I hate to pull you out of class. I know you’ve already missed a lot this week. Your lawyer is here and needs to meet with you.”

  I looked at Tony. His face betrayed his worry. I squeezed his hand. “I’ll see you next period. I hope.” I walked quietly down the hall with Ms. Henning.

  Diana was in the conference room waiting for me. “I’m sorry I had to pull you out of class but things are being pushed by the other side. There’s a preliminary hearing set for tomorrow morning and I need to have paperwork in by four this afternoon. I’ve already talked to the secretary to get you excused.”

  I sank into the chair across from her. “I take it this isn’t normal.”

  She shuffled papers and began laying them out on the table. “Generally not but the judge is allowing it because you’re in a state funded facility and your grandfather obviously has money.” She sounded disgusted. She pushed one of the piles toward me. “These are all certified copies of the originals you gave me. There’s no way I’m taking the originals to court.”

  I glanced at them. “Did you have time to get anything from California?”

  “No, I didn’t and I’m betting that’s one of the reasons he’s pushing this case forward so fast. But this is only the preliminary. I’m going to ask for an extension for fact gathering as I just took on this case yesterday.”

  She pulled out some documents. “Read these over. If there’s anything you don’t understand, please ask. If you agree with all of the statements, sign and date next to the sticky.”

  I began reading. The documents were straight forward. I was fighting my grandfather’s custody due to conflict of interest. “It all seems to make sense.”

  She was still for the moment. She sat watching me. “I wish Mr. Gusalli was paying you for the work you do. If you had an income we could claim emancipation. You’ll be eighteen in only six months. Have you considered a job that could support you?”

  “In all honesty, we jumped around so much that I was just focused on trying to finish high school. My mom always paid the bills.” My throat tightened. I felt lost without her.

  “Mr. Gusalli spoke highly of your skills. Is there a place where you could get a job that would pay you to teach martial arts?”

  “I’m not sure. I looked at several other dojos but I wasn’t impressed with them. They are more focused on competition so they would probably want a teacher with all the certifications and belt rankings. Max doesn’t focus on things like that.”

  Diana stared at a thick stack of papers. “Ms. Henning gave me your transcripts. You have an amazing grade point average and you’ve taken AP classes at some of the high schools you’ve attended. You’re obviously very intelligent. Any ideas on a career path?”

  I hadn’t given it much thought. I glanced at my shirt. “Well, I am an artist. Ms. Gilbert is helping me put together my senior portfolio. And people have asked me if my designs are for sale.”

  She chewed on the cap of her pen. “That might be something. Do you do all the designs on your clothes?”

  “I do. I started drawing on them to cover up stains because I got most of my clothes from free boxes.” I pointed to the apple on my shirt. “This was a stain that I worked this design around.”

  “Wow! That’s really amazing. How long did it take you to draw that?”

  “Less than an hour. I finished a design on a coat first then did this one.”

  “Well, it will give you something to consider. You’re going to need some kind of income to support yourself in April. The state will drop you once you turn eighteen.”

  I signed the papers and gave them back to her. “What time do I need to be there tomorrow?”

  She shoved the papers back into a folder. “The hearing is set for ten tomorrow morning. I can pick you up at the center at nine.”

  “Actually, it would be better to pick me up here. They don’t serve breakfast at the center on school days. All the kids eat breakfast here. And I could at least get through first period and part of second.”

  She closed her briefcase. “All right. Let’s go make that arrangement with the secretary.”

  We went out and I waited while she talked to the lady at the front desk. The lady looked at me. “Come into the office in the morning so I can give you a hall pass.” She wrote one out for me so I could catch the last fifteen minutes of class.

  We walked out of the office. “Don’t worry, Erin. We’re going to fight this. I need to get these papers filed. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I headed for the stairs. Tony emerged from the lower stairway. “What’s going on?”

  I looked around. “Don’t you ever go to class?”

  He shrugged. “Sometimes.”


  “I have to go to court tomorrow. Diana said my grandfather is pushing the case. She thinks it’s because she requested information from California.”

  Tony pulled me to a stop a half a locker set from the classroom door. “I wish I could be with you but I’m kind of stuck here. Diana’s good. You can trust her.”

  “She’s given me a lot to think about.” I hugged him. “I have to get to class. I’ve got to get caught up on my homework.”

  “I think your teachers will understand.” We walked the last few feet. “I’ll see you in a few.”

  I went into the classroom. Ms. Green looked relieved to see me. I handed her the hall pass and took my seat. Rebecca was wearing Rubicon. She grinned at me. Others in the classroom were looking at me. I felt uncomfortable.

  Ms. Green gave out the assignment. I flipped open the textbook. I’d missed a lot. She came back to my desk. “I realized you’ve missed a lot of class lately. If you need extra time, I’ll understand.”

  I thought about tomorrow. I had no idea how long I would be gone. “I should warn you. I might not be here tomorrow either. It depends on how long things take. I have to go to court tomorrow.”

  “I am going to be assigning a paper tomorrow. Let me give you the handout in case you don’t get back in time.” She gave it to me. I glanced at it. “Could I use a comparison with Grapes of Wrath? That’s what yesterday’s lecture made me think about.”

  She grinned. “That’s a great idea.” She walked over to answer a question.

  Rebecca touched my arm. “I’m sorry everything is so crazy for you right now. Will you still be teaching tomorrow night?”

  “I hope so. Diana is a good lawyer. She said that this is only a preliminary so nothing will really be decided. It’s more like opening a discussion and deciding when we’re going to really talk about it.”

  The bell rang. I pushed the handout into the textbook and headed for the door. One of the other students motioned to me. “That dragon looks like Ladon. I like Greek mythology. I saw a vase once with Ladon on it.”

  “I’ve seen a picture of the vase. That’s where I got the idea for him.”

  “You’re a really good artist. Did you draw the dragon on Rebecca’s shirt, too?”

  I saw Tony in the hallway. “I did.” Tony gave the boy a mean look and put his arm around my shoulders. “Tony, you’re going to have to get over that. He just asked about the dragon.”

  He sighed. “It’s an image thing.” We went to his locker and we both pulled out our Lit books. We walked down the hall to the classroom. David was standing in the doorway. He gave Tony a look. Tony leaned close to my ear. “We’re going to get into a little fight.”

  I stopped so fast he ran into me. I turned and caught him. “No.” I said it loud and firm. I looked at David. “Come here.”

  David looked confused but came up to us. Other kids were staring. Some looked worried. “There is absolutely no good reason for you two to fight.” I turned to face Tony but held one hand open at my side. I planted the other one on Tony’s chest. “No matter who starts it, you both lose. You both end up getting in trouble.” I felt something in my hand and closed my fingers around the note. I turned to face David and pushed the note into Tony’s hand. “You guys are cousins. You’re family. Haven’t you been paying attention in class? Don’t you get what Steinbeck is trying to say about family? The family can only be strong if it stands together.”

  Professor Linton leaned out the doorway of the classroom. “That is an excellent observation, Ms. Dawson. Why don’t we bring that discussion into the classroom?”

  I glanced at Tony. He grinned at me and put his arm around my shoulders. “How can anyone argue with you? I sure don’t stand a chance.” He glanced at David. “You coming?”

  David looked bewildered but followed us into the classroom. Professor Linton used my comment as a starting place for the discussion on the reading assignment. I thought more about the current day migrant workers we were studying in Soc-Ec and added that into the discussion. It became intense. Tony added in the plight of the homeless people on the streets of Tacoma again. That hit home to several of the other kids. We talked right up to the bell.

  Professor Linton held up his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Because this is obviously an important topic, I’m not going to assign any additional reading. I’d like your reflection paper to be about this conversation and how you feel about these topics.” He let us go.

  Tony and I walked to his locker. “Wow! That was really something.”

  I dropped my books inside. “I’m kind of glad it took off in the direction it did. I have to a write a paper for Soc-Ec on the same topic.”

  He chuckled. “Two for the price of one. What a deal.”

  “I just hope I have time to write it.”

  We started for the gym. Tony pulled me close. “I’ll be good tomorrow morning and let you study.” We paused by the door. “I’ll see you after school.” He let me go and drifted into the flow.

  I went into the locker room and changed. Jill smiled at me. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m doing better today, thanks.” I put my clothes in my backpack and then into the gym locker. “Have you thought about what you’re going to do after graduation?”

  Jill walked out beside me. “I want to go to the community college. When my grandma died she left me some money and I’ve been saving up everything that I can. Someday I’d like to be a teacher.”

  “High school?”

  She laughed. “No, I was thinking more like younger kids. I help out at a summer camp and most of the kids there are third or fourth graders. That’s a good age. They haven’t gotten too obnoxious yet.”

  The low balance beams were all set up. “Looks like we’re working on beam routines today.”

  Jill grimaced. “My least favorite. How do you always look so confident? I’m terrified I’m going to slip off and get hurt.”

  “You have to watch where you’re putting your hands and feet. It’s important to keep your eyes on the beam and stay focused.”

  Ms. Addison called us for warm-ups then divided us up into groups. Rita ended up in my group and stared at me coldly. “I heard you got called to the office today. You always seem to be in trouble.”

  I ignored her and concentrated on my routine. I kept it simple. That seemed to make Ms. Addison happy. I spent more time helping Jill, who was also in our group.

  Rita was working on a routine for the upcoming competition. She was frustrated because she kept slipping off the beam after her round-off. I watched her and realized she wasn’t looking at where her feet were going as her body twisted. “Try turning your head a little more so you can see the beam as your feet come down.”

  “Why don’t you show me?” Her tone was snooty. She came to the side of the beam.

  I got onto the beam and set up for the round-off. As I twisted, Rita pushed me. I tried to compensate. My right foot was only half on the beam when I landed and my left foot was poorly placed. I felt the pain and rolled away from the beam.

  Jill looked horrified. “Rita! What were you thinking? Ms. Addison! Erin’s hurt!” She rushed to my side.

  I was doing a self-assessment, trying to decide if anything had actually been damaged. I looked at Jill. “I think it’s just strained.”

  Ms. Addison knelt beside me. “Let me have a look.” She felt my legs, ankles, and feet. “I don’t think anything is broken. Let’s see if you can put weight on it.” She helped me up.

  I took a few steps. I tried not to show just how much it really hurt. “I’m probably done for the day.”

  Ms. Addison looked concerned. “Jill, could you help Erin up to the health room, please? Rita, my office. Now.”

  I heard Rita complaining as Jill and I headed for the stairs. She was trying to support some of my weight. “That was so wrong. What is Rita’s issue? Tony chose you over her. She needs to get over it.”

  We got to the office and the secretary looked up. “M
s. Dawson?” She looked at Jill. “Oh, my. Bring her this way.” She escorted us to the health room.

  Nurse Kern pointed to one of the small rooms. “What happened?”

  I sat down. “Another student bumped into me as I was on the balance beam and I landed wrong. I don’t think anything is broken.”

  She dismissed Jill and examined by legs, questioning me about the level of pain. “Well, you’re probably right. You strained the muscles. Let me get a couple of cold wraps.” She returned with them and wrapped them in place. She sat down in the chair next to me. “You’ve been having a difficult week. Sounds like a lot of stressful things. Are you feeling depressed?”

  I was surprised by the question. It wasn’t something I thought a school nurse would ask. I considered what Tony and David were working on and decided to play along and see what she’d do. “It’s been really hard. Everything is all wrong. My mom died and I had to go to foster care. Another girl is jealous of my boyfriend. Some wackos in school blew up my locker and now I’m behind in all my classes.” I hung my head.

  She patted me on the back. “How’s the pain doing in your legs? I can give you some aspirin. That should help.” She pulled a bottle out of her pocket and shook a couple of pink pills into it. She got a glass of water and handed them to me.

  I wasn’t about to take them. I let the tiny pills slide into the cracks of my fingers, put my hand to my mouth, and swallowed the water. I handed the cup back to her. As she turned around to throw it away I tucked the pills into the sleeve of my leotard.

  She made me lay there until only five minutes remained in the period. “How are you doing? Feeling any better?”

  I wasn’t sure how the pills were supposed to make me feel. “I am, thank you.” She let me get up. “It doesn’t hurt that much anymore.”

  She smiled at me. “If you feel any more pain, just stop in.”

  I escaped from the health room and headed back to the gym. The other girls were already in the locker room. Jill was relieved to see me. “Ms. Addison sent Rita home. She’s on suspension from the team. The other girls aren’t happy about that. Rita is better than they are. They’re afraid they are going to lose the competition without her.”

  I changed quickly as I listened. I didn’t have a baggie so I wrapped the pills in a tissue and put them in my pocket. “I feel sorry for them. Rita hurts herself and a lot of other people around her.”

  The bell rang. I grabbed my backpack and headed out. I was relieved to see Tony waiting for me. He frowned. “Are you okay? You look like you’re limping.”

  “I am. It’s a long story but I have something for you. I just want to grab my coat from your locker.”

  “Our locker. I believe in sharing.”

  I leaned into him. “So does Nurse Kern.” I pushed the rolled up tissue into his hand. “Be careful. They are small.”

  He looked concerned. “What happened?”

  I grabbed my coat. “I’ll tell you once we get out of here.” He took my coat and held it for me so I could slip into it. “You are such a gentleman. I must really be ruining your bad boy image.”

  He chuckled. “The guys are watching me. I’m teaching by example.”

  I caught sight of several of his gang on the steps. “Do you think it will help?”

  “One can only hope.” He made a hand sign to the guys that they repeated back at him. “Later, dudes.” He had a smug grin on his face as he put his arm around me. “They’re actually taking bets on how far I’m getting with you.”

  “That’s sad.”

  He laughed. “Tell me about it.”

  After we put some distance between us and the school, I filled him in on what had happened. “I’m taking a guess that those aren’t aspirin. You’ll probably find them on the list.”

  He pulled me close. “That was a dangerous risk. What if she would have checked to make sure you’d swallowed them?”

  “I didn’t give her any reason to doubt that I hadn’t.” I stopped at the door of the dojo. “But I’d say Nurse Kern obviously knows what she’s giving out.”

  “It sure sounds that way.” He looked around. “At least things seem to be quiet today. Are you going to be okay to teach with your legs all ouchy?”

  I started to laugh. “You are so silly sometimes.”

  He grinned. “I win. I made you laugh.” He hugged me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I went in but paused by the window and watched him walk away. I touched my lips, remembering the kiss. Had he felt anything? There was no way I could ask. I went in and almost walked into Yan.

  He frowned at me. “That kid is nothing but trouble. He got kicked out of my school for dealing drugs. How did you get messed up with him?”

  Max looked up from where he sat at the front desk. “What?”

  I sighed. “He’s cleaned up his act and I think I’ve even got him past his fighting. He might be worthy of a dragon someday.”

  Yan didn’t look convinced. “You shouldn’t hang around with people like that. They’re nothing but trouble.”

  Max was studying me. “Erin, are you hurt?”

  “Is it that obvious? I’m trying not to feel it.” I stretched both legs. “I slipped off the low beam in gym today when another student bumped into me. It’s just a strain. I’ll be okay.”

  He looked at the list. “No kicks tonight. Call out the movement but don’t do it yourself.”

  I agreed. Yan was watching me. “Philip is getting out of the hospital today. He’s going to try to stop in later tonight.”

  I was confused by the harsh sound of his tone. I didn’t know how to take it. Was he warning me? I didn’t know what to say. I went to the locker room and changed. Others had begun to arrive when I came out. I moved to my classroom. The students weren’t there yet but I wanted a little time to focus myself. I began a set of Tai Chi.

  Ryan stopped in the doorway and watched silently for a moment. I paused and made eye contact. “What’s up?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. You have such nice form. I was just watching.”

  A couple of students squeezed past him into the room. I closed out the set and felt my legs complaining. “That was probably the right place for me to stop anyway. My legs are pretty sore.”

  Ryan motioned for me to come closer. I did. He dropped his voice. “Philip is going to be here after dinner.”

  “Did you visit him in the hospital?”

  “I went over with Yan after school yesterday.” He looked down. “I’m not sure what to think. I know the two of you were good friends.”

  My gut tightened. “What do you mean?”

  “Philip and Yan were talking about you.” He sighed. “I think Yan blames you for what happened to Philip. It’s not right. That wasn’t your fault.” He looked around at the students who’d come in. “Just don’t be surprised by his attitude.” Ryan walked away.

  I was stunned. I fought to center myself. I went to the front of the classroom. “Let’s start some warm-ups. Get your muscles ready for the work.” I began doing some light stretches. My mind was whirling. I felt confused.

  The last of the students filed in. When everyone had a few minutes of stretching, I began the lesson. We got through it and the kids were understanding when I explained why I couldn’t do any of the kicks with them.

  The next two classes went well, too. I had a parent stop at the end of my third class. “I just want to thank you. Charlie has improved so much since you took over his class. And he’s doing better at home, too. He doesn’t argue with his sister anymore. How did you manage that?”

  I leaned against the wall and capped my water bottle. “Charlie had some issues when I took over this class. I just taught him my three rules. Don’t harm yourself, don’t harm others, and do the least amount of harm to the earth.”

  She smiled. “Well, he’s taken it to heart. I’m just so glad you joined the staff.” She walked out with her arm around her son.

  I was smiling by the time I got t
o the kitchen. Susan was unwrapping some baking dishes. “Hey, Erin. How have you been doing?”

  I grabbed the lids and rinsed them. “I just got the nicest compliment. That certainly helps.”

  Max came in and leaned over Susan’s shoulder. “What have you cooked up for us tonight?”

  “I’ve been experimenting with a Moo Goo Gai Pan recipe by adding more vegetables. And I have a mixed grain medley to go with it. It has rice and a list of different ancient grains in it.”

  He hugged her. “It smells amazing.” He looked over at me. “Why don’t you tell the others to come and grab a plate?”

  We all sat at the big table in the library and enjoyed the new tastes. I listened to the others talking. Amy and Linda were discussing an upcoming basketball game between their schools. The boys were talking about Steven’s new car. Max and Susan added in their comments to both conversations.

  I finished my dinner and took my plate to the kitchen, rinsed it, and put it in the drainer. Yan came in with his plate. “Since you got hurt in school, maybe you should leave early tonight.”

  I glanced at him. “I don’t like to miss class.”

  He frowned. “Philip really doesn’t want to see you.”

  I turned and walked out. I went to the main classroom where Max taught his lessons. The bamboo shades were already drawn but I could see the headlights of passing cars on the street. I sat down and began stretching, trying not to think about anything.

  Linda came in and sat down next to me. “Erin, are you okay? You look ready to cry.”

  “Do I?” I took a deep breath. “Everything seems all messed up in my life right now. I have to go to court tomorrow to fight my grandfather’s custody petition. I’ve missed so much at school that I’ve fallen behind on my homework and I’m struggling to get caught up. Add the weirdness of all the stuff going on around me, a pipe bomb in my locker and guys trying to grab me off the street. Nothing makes sense anymore.”

  She was staring at me. “Wow, that is pretty crazy.”

  The others came in as a group. Max followed them in and called for everyone to stretch out. “We’ll work more on the applications of Eskrima tonight after we do a little Tai Chi. If there’s time, we’ll review Bassai Sho.” He began stretching with us.

  We had finished the Tai Chi form when Philip and his foster father arrived. He looked tired. The others gathered around him. I hung toward the back of the group, uncertain. It was hard for him to talk. His words were slurred.

  Max brought in a chair for him. “Sit down and rest.” He looked at Philip’s foster father. “Is there anything we can do for the family?”

  He shook his head. “Our church took up an offering to help cover the costs that the insurance didn’t. We’re managing. I’m afraid Philip won’t be coming back. My wife accepted a job down in Portland and we’ll be moving in a couple months.”

  Max put a hand on Philip’s shoulder. “We’ll miss you. I hope that when you’re physically able, you’ll find a dojo down there to continue your studies.”

  Philip shook his hand. “It will not be as good as Inyo Dojo. That is for certain.”

  His father looked at his watch. “We should get going. I don’t want to keep your class. Philip just wanted to stop in and say good-bye to everyone.”

  The others hugged him gently and moved away. I was the last one left with Max. Philip hadn’t even made eye contact with me. A lump stuck in my throat. I managed to swallow it down. “I’ve been to Portland. It’s a nice city. I hope you like it there.”

  He turned and looked at me. It was impossible to read his expression. His eyes looks dull. “Good-bye, Erin.” He followed his father out.

  My eyes burned. I couldn’t face anyone at the moment. I went to the kitchen. Susan was putting things away. She looked at me and gasped. “Erin!”

  I felt numb. His coldness hurt more than anything I’d ever felt before. Did he blame me for what had happened?

  Susan wrapped her arms around me and held me. “What happened?”

  The tears followed the force of gravity and slid down my face. “I think Philip hates me. It’s just hard because he’s like the first real friend I ever had.”

  She started to rock me gently. “What happened to Philip wasn’t your fault. I’m betting that he’ll realize that someday. Sometimes when people get hurt or sick they just want someone to blame. The real fault lies with the guys who beat him up. They are the ones with the problem.”

  On some level, I already knew that but it didn’t make it any easier. “Nothing makes sense anymore.”

  She hugged me. “How about I make us some tea?” She pulled out a couple of cups and passed me the tea basket. “Life has certainly handed you your share of challenges. My grandfather was a blacksmith. He once told me that challenges are what makes a person strong, like putting metal into the fire a bunch of times. It makes the finished piece more durable.”

  We took our tea into the library and sat down. “Life just feels out of control right now. There are all these crazy things going on around me that are messing up my life and I can’t seem to do anything about them.”

  She patted my hand. “I felt that way when Max had his heart attack. I was terrified. Everything happened so fast. I was scared he was going to die but he didn’t. He quit his job and we sold our house and moved to an apartment. Our kids had both gone off to college. I started teaching to make ends meet. And then Max started this dojo. That was really scary. I had no idea if this place was going to pay its own bills to say anything of helping cover the costs of keeping us going. But somehow it all worked out. You just have to do the best you can.”

  I closed my eyes. “Fusan always told me the only thing we could control was ourselves.” I wiped the tears away. “I can’t seem to manage even that.”

  Susan chuckled. “Tears are like orange juice. When the world presses on us too hard, they just squeeze out. But they help release some of the pressure.”

  I finished my tea and looked up at the clock. “They’ll be finishing up class soon. I should probably change.”

  “Max said he’s been dropping you off at the foster care center. I can give you a ride if you want to get back a little earlier.”

  “That would be great.” I washed my cup and went to change.

  Linda came in as I was pulling on the coat. “I see the coat has a new makeover.”

  “I’m really grateful for it. It was cold this morning.”

  She pulled me into a hug. “I saw what happened with Philip. He really wasn’t fair to you. That wasn’t your fault.”

  I managed a weak smile. “Maybe someday I’ll believe that. I have to go. Susan is dropping me off so Max doesn’t have to rush tonight.”

  “Good luck tomorrow.”

  Max and Susan were talking quietly in the kitchen. They both looked at me as I came in. Max looked upset. “Erin, I’m sorry about what happened tonight.”

  I shook my head. “You can’t control Philip’s judgment any more than I can. You have nothing to be sorry for. Yan had warned me. I guess I should have paid attention.”

  Susan put her arm around my shoulders. “Let’s get you back.”

  I gave her directions. “It’s really not that far away but the social worker made a deal with Max to drive me back. It was the only way she’d let me keep coming to the dojo.”

  She stopped in front of the building. “Looks shabby.”

  I opened the door. “I only sleep here. I spend most of my time at school and the rest at the dojo. Thanks for the ride.”

  Susan waited until I’d opened the door before she drove away. The front hall was empty. Ms. Auger was in her office. I waved to let her know I was back. She stood up. “There was someone here looking for you earlier. Claimed he represented your grandfather.” Her expression was tight. “If you’ve got family, what are you doing here?”

  I was tired and didn’t feel like trying to explain everything. “I guess I’ll find out in court tomorrow. My lawyer is picking me up
from school.” She frowned and went back to her paperwork.

  I went into the dormitory. Becca was sitting with Kirby on her bunk. She looked up at me. “Girl, you look like hell.” She patted a space on the bed next to her. “Take a load off, sister.”

  Kirby ran a brush through her hair. “What’s wrong, Erin?”

  “It’s just been a long day.” I pulled my coat off and sat down.

  Heidi joined us. “Wow, you’re back before curfew.”

  “My boss’s wife gave me a ride home so I didn’t have to wait for everything to get cleaned up.”

  Heidi pointed at my shirt. “That really came out cool. I heard a lot of kids in school talking about it.”

  Becca laughed. “Yeah, when they weren’t talking about you and Tony making out in the hallway at lunch. Whoa, girlfriend! From what they was saying, you was giving him some action!” She broke into giggles.

  Kirby sighed. “Rita is totally jealous. Is it true she pushed you off the balance beam in gym class? Dory went into the health room sixth period and saw you there. She said you looked like you were seriously hurt.”

  I massaged my legs. “I’ll live. It made work challenging tonight.”

  Heidi pulled out her pajamas. “Rita isn’t half as pretty as you are. It’s no wonder Tony chose you over her.”

  Becca giggled harder. “To say nothing of the fact that girl is dumb as a rock. She thinks she’s such a hotshot because she’s on the gymnastics team and the captain of the cheerleading squad. From what I heard, you should be on the team.”

  I shook my head. “My life is too complicated as it is.” I moved to my own bunk and pulled out the pajamas Heidi had given me.

  Becca climbed up on top and looked down at me. “So how far have you and Tony got?”

  “How far?”

  “Yeah, you know. What base?”

  I didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. Kirby stood up and pushed Becca back up on her bunk. “Give the girl a break. They haven’t been going out that long.”

  I got into the pajamas. I didn’t want to think about it. Tony and I couldn’t have a real relationship. He wasn’t a real teenager. What was I? I pulled the last blank shirt out of the box. It was lavender. Not the color I would have chosen if I’d had a choice but there weren’t any rips in it. There was a light spackling of tiny lighter spots like it had been sprayed with bleach. I could almost see a pattern.

  I pulled out the cardboard and pen and set up the shirt. This dragon was facing a different direction. It was curled around the back but looking up at me from the center. It must be Fuku Riu. I needed all the luck I could get.

  I had it mostly finished by the time Ms. Auger called the five minute warning. It would just need a few final touches in the morning. I put it in the box.

  Kirby was laying on her side looking at me. “That is so amazing how you do that. How do you know what you’re going to draw?”

  “Each shirt is different. This one had a bunch of bleach spots on it that became highlights on scales. I’ve been studying dragons for a long time. I had a book once with a bunch of pictures of all the oriental dragons.”

  Kirby slid under her blanket. “You should make some to sell. I bet you could earn a lot of money doing that.”

  I got into bed. “I don’t like the idea of selling dragons. When I draw them for other people, I draw personal dragons. They are special. Dragons will only show themselves to people who are worthy.”

  The lights went out and I struggled to get comfortable. I tried not to think about anything, to just clear my mind. I finally fell asleep.

  I finished the shirt with time to spare so I decided to do a design on the jeans. I matched up the back so that it looked like the hind limbs were clinging to one leg and the tail was wrapped around the other. When I put it on, everyone stared at it.

  Heidi walked completely around me. “You are like a walking living piece of art. That is so cool.”

  We hurried to the bus. I was really grateful for the coat this morning. There were heavy blotches of snow mixed in with the rain. Becca leaned back in the seat next to me. “They won’t stick. It’s only November.”

  Tony was waiting for me on the steps. He looked cold. I came up to him and took his hand. “You’re freezing. You don’t have to wait out here for me.”

  He looked serious. “I feel better seeing you get off the bus.” He pulled me inside.

  We went to his locker. “You want to tell me what’s going on?”

  He pulled me close. “First off, you were right about the little pink pills. They’re uppers. Second off, I’m scared shitless for you right now because of what came back from California. Diana dropped into the office last night asking me and Davy to keep you safe at school.”

  Other kids were moving through the halls. I leaned closer. “Why?”

  “Your grandpa has gotten himself into some serious trouble. He borrowed money from the wrong people. Remember those guys from the black sedan? They work for the guy he borrowed money from. My guess is that you were almost collateral. As in if he didn’t pay them, you would be history.”

  “That’s crazy. I doubt my grandfather would care. I still don’t understand why he wants custody of me, especially since he claims I’m not really his granddaughter. It doesn’t make sense.” I pulled off my coat and hung it in the locker.

  Tony looked at his watch. “I don’t know. Right now, let’s get you some breakfast.” Tony stepped back and looked at me. “Wow! Now that’s a serious dragon. Who’s my competition?”

  I grinned. “Fuku Riu. He’s a Japanese luck dragon. I felt like I needed it today. Sounds like I was right.” We went down to the cafeteria. Most of the kids had already been through the line so I didn’t have to wait. I got a decent tray of food and joined Tony in our corner. It amused me to think of it that way. It really had become our corner. His boys hung out there, too.

  Tony sat with his arms wrapped around me, not letting anyone near us talk while I ate. His boys respected that. It was curious. They had accepted me in that way. It reminded me of a wolf pack I’d read about for a science report. Tony was the alpha male and he’d made me the alpha female. The rest of the pack accepted it.

  I had pulled a few things from the locker. I was seriously behind and needed to get caught back up. He walked with me to the library. We paused a short distance from the door. He pulled me close, resting his forehead on mine. “Davy has Chemistry first period. He’s going to run a diversion to keep Dr. Marsh in the classroom so I can see what’s behind door number one.”

  I didn’t want to worry. He’d probably done stuff like this a bunch of times. “Be careful.”

  He hugged me. “I will. I’ll be back here by first bell to walk you to class. Will you need to get back to the locker?”

  “No, I have that textbook with me.” I went into the library. I found a quiet spot and got as much done as I could before the bell rang.

  Tony walked me to the door of my first class. He held me for a moment. “I’ll see you at the end of class.” He let me go.

  I was relieved to turn in my homework. I’d managed to get everything for this class caught up. Mr. Yenny spent the period talking about the origins of computers and we even got to see a small working model that demonstrated the principles of a Babbage Computer.

  After the lecture, Todd turned to me. “I’ve been thinking about what you said. I’m just not sure how to change things. I can’t exactly go back and do stuff over.”

  I didn’t want to pry. I could tell by his expression that he felt it was something bad. “The past is already written. We can only move forward from this point and make better decisions.”

  He traced the illustration on the front of his book. “What would you do if you found out you’d done something wrong but didn’t know that it was wrong until afterwards?”

  I considered the question. “I guess I’d go to someone I trusted and explain the situation. Are you still doing this action that you know is wrong?”


  “No. But I’m afraid to tell anyone. And I don’t know who to trust.”

  The bell rang. We both got up. “Isn’t there an adult who could help you?”

  Todd looked uncomfortable. “There’s an adult involved. I honestly don’t know who to tell.”

  I was relieved to see Tony waiting by the door. I looked back at Todd. “Since I don’t know what the issue is, I’m not sure what to tell you. What about your parents?”

  Todd looked up. By the expression on his face I guessed that he’d noticed Tony. “I have to go.” He hurried out the door, slipping past Tony, and into the flow of the crowded hall.

  Tony looked at him quizzically then turned back to me. He had a grin on his face. “To the locker?” His voice was cheerful.

  “Yeah. I’ll only get to stay for part of period two.” My mind was distracted trying to puzzle out Todd’s dilemma. “Oh man! I forgot to stop in the office and get the hall pass.”

  “No worries. It’s on the way.” He looped his arm around my shoulders. “Don’t look at me like that, dragon! I saw her first.”

  I laughed. “You’re in a good mood.”

  “Oh, you have no idea.” He patted his jacket where I knew he kept his phone. He leaned close to my ear. “I got enough for a search warrant. Now we just got to find a way to connect them.”

  We got to the office. “Maybe you should wait out here.”

  “Not a chance. I’m not taking my eyes off of you. This dragon might steal you away.”

  The secretary handed me the pass. “Ms. Henning was planning to meet you at the classroom anyway but you might as well take this in case she’s late.”

  We walked down toward the art wing. Tony diverted others around us. “She isn’t the only one. What time are you leaving class?”

  “Five to nine.”

  “I’ll be there, too. I made a promise to Diana to see you to her side and aim to keep it.”

  I went into the art room and found Ms. Gilbert. I showed her the hall pass. “Thanks for letting me know. I’d like to see where you’re headed with the next drawing in the series.”

  “I’m just starting it today. I’ll have to see what the new angle looks like.” I got my art board and a clean sheet of paper. I moved to an empty seat at the table. The setting looked entirely different from this angle. I considered what Ms. Gilbert had said about progression. The dragon needed to progress in the picture.

  One of the flowers was tilted out of the vase on this side. There was a crystal candy dish near it. I tried to picture in my mind what the little dragon would look like if partially hidden by the dish. I put my hand behind it experimentally to see how the crystal facets distorted the shape. I started to sketch.

  I only had the rough outline done by the time I had to leave. Ms. Gilbert glanced at it. “Is the dragon there?” She pointed at the rough outline.

  “He’ll be reaching for that flower.”

  She smiled. “Wonderful. I’m looking forward to seeing it fill out.”

  I put everything away and washed my hands. I found Tony and Ms. Henning in a quiet argument in the hallway. Tony had his arms crossed and was leaning against the wall. “Well, she’s sharing my locker and she’s going to need her coat. I’m not letting her go out there without it.”

  I struggled to contain my grin. Ms. Henning looked defeated. “Fine but you will head straight back to class.”

  “After I walk her to the door. It’s on the way.” He turned to me and held out his hand. “Shall we?”

  Ms. Henning looked at the design. “Well, that’s different. Usually your dragons have their heads coming over your shoulder.”

  I was surprised. “I don’t think I’ve ever had someone notice that kind of detail before.”

  She walked down the hallway beside us. “I admit it. I’m a fan. I’ve always liked dragons and I think your designs are exceptional.”

  Tony smiled. “Just like her.” He opened the locker and pulled out my coat, holding it for me to put on. We walked to the front door. Diana was waiting there. Tony hugged me. “Okay dragon. You keep her safe.” He let me go. “I’ll see you later.” He nodded at Diana and headed for the stairs.

  Ms. Henning waited until he was out of sight. “I was concerned.”

  I studied her face. “About Tony?”

  “No, not so much about him. You’ve totally changed that young man. There might actually be hope for him.” I saw Diana’s grin. Ms. Henning glanced around. “A man came into the office after school. He claimed to be a representative for Mr. Harmond but he wasn’t the lawyer, Mr. Hart. I knew what he looked like. The secretary told him where Erin was staying before I could stop her.”

  “That must be the guy Ms. Auger said had been there looking for me. But I was still at work and I don’t think she even knows where that is.”

  Diana glanced at her watch. “Let’s get you to the courthouse. The sooner the better.”

  We left the school. Diana had parked in front. She opened the door and I got in. Diana was a careful driver. We got to the courthouse with plenty of time to spare.

  We walked in the back door. An armed officer stood up. “I’ll have to check your bags.” He looked through her briefcase and then my backpack. I’d brought something to read, just in case I had time. He looked at the worn paperback. “Grapes of Wrath. I remember reading this in high school.” He handed it back to me. “Go ahead, ladies. Have a nice day.”

  Diana steered me down a hallway. “I’ve got a room reserved for this morning.”

  We turned a corner. Two men were standing in the hallway. I recognized one of them as Mr. Hart. The other man was much older. He turned and stared at me. I could see the fine features that he shared with my mother. His expression was grim. “Hello, Erin.”