Page 29 of Hawkwing's Journey


  To his amazement, there was pity in Curlypaw’s eyes as she gazed at him. “Why should I care about StarClan?” she asked. “Does StarClan care about us? Our medicine cat has left us. We haven’t found the other Clans. What if everything we’ve been told about StarClan is just a . . . a pretty story? Because if StarClan really exists, why would they allow us to suffer like this?”

  Hawkwing had no idea what to say. Her doubts reflected ones he had felt himself, but he had never realized that Curlypaw shared them. It’s my fault, he thought. I’ve failed her as a mentor.

  “Don’t go,” he mewed, his voice raw. If she stays I’ll do better, he vowed. I’ll win her over. I’ll share my doubts with her, and we’ll talk about them together. I’ll show her why being a Clan cat is important.

  Curlypaw rubbed her cheek against his. “I’ll never stop being grateful to you, but I’ve already decided,” she responded gently. “I’ll leave in the morning.”

  “Does Leafstar know?” Hawkwing asked, reluctantly accepting defeat.

  “I told Birdwing and Sagenose,” Curlypaw replied. “They say they understand, and that they’ll tell Leafstar.”

  She dipped her head and padded away toward the apprentices’ den. Stunned, Hawkwing watched her stroll out of sight, then stumbled back into the center of the hollow. He didn’t want to talk to any cat, but after a moment he found his paw steps taking him to the nursery, where Plumwillow had made a nest of moss and bracken underneath the low-growing branches of a hazel bush.

  Inside he breathed in the warm, milky scent of the kits and began to relax slightly. Plumwillow was still awake, gently licking the sleeping kits. As Hawkwing approached she raised her head and blinked at him affectionately.

  “Don’t wake them,” she murmured.

  “I won’t.” Gently Hawkwing nuzzled each kit in turn. At his touch they gave a little wriggle, but didn’t wake. “They’re so beautiful. We must do everything we can to keep them safe.”

  Plumwillow nodded. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Hawkwing retreated into the open again and spotted Leafstar sitting in the middle of the clearing, her head raised as she gazed at the moon. Her expression was unreadable.

  Thinking of what he had to say to her on the following day, Hawkwing felt a tingle of apprehension in his belly. He knew that after everything the Clan had been through, Leafstar would probably react badly to his insistence that they finally leave the lake. We must do this, though, he thought, for the good of the Clan.

  But how can I convince Leafstar of that, when even Echosong couldn’t?

  CHAPTER 32

  Hawkwing’s heart was heavy as he padded out of the camp early the next morning with Curlypaw by his side. He still found it hard to believe that his apprentice was lost to him, and to the whole of SkyClan. It was harder still to be angry with her, after all the trouble SkyClan had suffered since Duskpaw’s death in the fire and the arrival of Darktail.

  How much more must we go through before we find our new home?

  The dawn light was gray and dim, the clouds barely clearing the tops of the trees. Tall grasses bent over with the weight of dew, brushing the cats’ pelts as they passed. The damp cold struck deep beneath Hawkwing’s fur, and he shivered.

  “You’ll give me the chance to get to Parsleyseed’s den?” Curlypaw asked. “I don’t want any cat chasing me and trying to make me stay.”

  “No cat will come after you,” Hawkwing promised. “If that’s what you really want.”

  His belly cramped with apprehension as he imagined the reaction of his Clanmates when they found out she had actually gone. He didn’t want them to think that Curlypaw was a coward, or just looking for a soft and easy life.

  And what will they think of me? he asked himself gloomily. A warrior who couldn’t keep his apprentice. If I lose their respect, how will I convince Leafstar that we need to move on?

  The two cats halted on the bank of a small stream. Beyond it was a long slope covered with fern, and from the top of that, Hawkwing knew, Curlypaw would be able to see Parsleyseed’s Twoleg nest.

  “This is it, then,” Hawkwing meowed. “You’re sure you won’t change your mind?”

  Curlypaw shook her head. “I’ve thought long and hard about this, Hawkwing,” she replied. “I know it’s the right decision for me. But it’s not like we’ll never see each other again,” she added, clearly trying to sound cheerful. “We still live beside the same lake.”

  We do for now, Hawkwing thought, still fiercely hoping that he could persuade Leafstar to change her mind and move on. But he didn’t think that would make any difference to Curlypaw. “Good luck,” he mewed. “And may StarClan light your path.”

  “Yours, too,” Curlypaw responded, rubbing her cheek against his.

  I’m really going to miss her, Hawkwing thought. She’s so smart and capable. And if SkyClan can’t hold on to young cats like her, what kind of future do we have?

  With a final dip of her head, Curlypaw leaped across the stream and disappeared into the ferns. Hawkwing stood there for a long time, watching the movement of the fronds as Curlypaw climbed the slope. At last all movement ceased, and he knew she must have crossed the ridge and must be racing toward Parsleyseed’s den and her new life as a kittypet.

  And now I have to talk to Leafstar, he thought, turning away with a sigh.

  When Hawkwing returned to camp, Leafstar and Waspwhisker were in the middle of arranging the dawn patrols. Hawkwing stood to one side until the groups separated and set out. Then he padded up to his Clan leader.

  “Leafstar, may I speak to you in private?” he asked.

  “What is this all about?” Waspwhisker asked.

  Hawkwing gave the Clan deputy an awkward glance. He had wanted to discuss the Clan’s future with Leafstar alone, but Waspwhisker was standing there as if his paws had grown roots, and Leafstar made no attempt to dismiss him.

  Giving in, Hawkwing dipped his head respectfully. “I feel it’s time to rethink our decision to stay here by the lake,” he began. “Dewkit, Reedkit, and Finkit could have been killed yesterday. And we’re losing young cats to Twolegs, of all things.”

  At these words, Leafstar exchanged a glance with Waspwhisker, and Hawkwing guessed that she had already told her deputy that Curlypaw had gone to join Parsleyseed.

  “I understand we do not want to make the wrong decision,” Hawkwing continued. “But I’ve had the feeling for a long time that there has to be a better place for us to be than this. And I can’t ignore it any longer.”

  As Hawkwing spoke, Waspwhisker’s eyes narrowed and his shoulder fur began to bristle. “You’ve got a feeling?” the deputy challenged him. “And because of this feeling we all have to set out again, going StarClan knows where?”

  “Echosong didn’t think it was right, either,” mumbled Plumwillow.

  “Isn’t any other cat sick of traveling!?” Waspwhisker hissed.

  “Waspwhisker, that’s enough,” Leafstar mewed with a twitch of her tail-tip. “I don’t like what Hawkwing is saying any more than you do. But I have to admit that the same thoughts have been going through my mind.”

  A jolt of surprise throbbed through Hawkwing. I expected a real argument with Leafstar. But here she is agreeing with me.

  “I keep expecting life to get easier here by the lake,” Leafstar continued, “but . . . it doesn’t. And I can see that some of our young cats are losing touch with StarClan.”

  Like Curlypaw, Hawkwing thought, remembering what his former apprentice had said the night before.

  “And . . .” Leafstar went on, “Fidgetpaw hasn’t had any visions since Echosong left. Now I understand what Echosong meant about losing her connection to StarClan. I can’t help but think that if we were surrounded by other Clans, we would be better able to keep our faith in StarClan strong.”

  Waspwhisker had listened carefully to everything his Clan leader said, and now he gave a reluctant nod of acceptance. “What do you want to do, then?” he asked.
br />   Leafstar hesitated, her eyes deep pools of thought. Hawkwing felt as though a whole family of mice were chasing each other in his belly as he waited for her decision.

  Finally the Clan leader drew herself up and took a deep breath. “The only solution is to leave,” she announced.

  Waspwhisker’s eyes stretched wide with amazement. “Leave now?” His shoulder fur began to bristle. “For StarClan’s, sake, Leafstar, it’s nearly leaf-bare. We had a terrible time traveling from the gorge to here, and that was in newleaf. What cat can imagine wandering in the wilderness for moons in the coldest weather, when prey is the most scarce?”

  “But that’s the worst that could happen,” Hawkwing pointed out. “It’s possible we would meet up with Echosong very soon, and find our place by the lake where the other Clans live, before leaf-bare. It’s early yet—there’s still a moon or two of leaf-fall ahead.”

  “Oh, yes,” Waspwhisker meowed with a scowl, his voice heavily sarcastic. “This journey has gone really great for us so far—and you’re saying the worst won’t happen?”

  Hawkwing winced. He realized how stupid he had been, after all the Clan had been through, to speak so optimistically.

  “We mustn’t lose faith,” Leafstar insisted. “I know it will be a difficult journey, even if it is a short one. But we must remember what is at stake here: the future of SkyClan.” Gazing at Hawkwing, her amber eyes softened. “It was brave of you to bring this up,” she meowed. “A bit more like the Hawkwing I know.” Before Hawkwing could ask her what she meant by that, she turned away. “I’ll go speak to Fidgetpaw about preparing traveling herbs.”

  The sun had gone down, and twilight was gathering. Hawkwing watched as Leafstar leaped up to the branch of an oak tree that jutted out over the camp. His belly churned in anticipation of what was coming.

  “Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey join here underneath this tree for a Clan meeting,” she called.

  In response to their leader’s voice, the cats of SkyClan began to emerge from their dens. Waspwhisker bounded over to the tree and sat next to the trunk, looking up at his leader. Hawkwing padded over to join Plumwillow as she appeared at the entrance to the nursery. Her kits peered curiously around her, even though it was time for them to sleep. Sparrowpelt and Tinycloud sat nearby, their pelts brushing, while Fidgetpaw slid out of the medicine cat’s den, and went to sit with Birdwing, Sagenose, and Macgyver.

  As the rest of the Clan assembled they glanced uneasily at each other, whiskers twitching and shoulder fur beginning to rise. And no wonder, Hawkwing thought. It’s never good news when the Clan leader calls an unexpected meeting at this time.

  “The lake was never meant to be our new camp,” Leafstar began. “It was simply somewhere to regroup, while we waited for a new sign from StarClan, or figured out once and for all what they were asking of us. And now, dogs and Twolegs give us trouble, and our young cats have begun to drift away from Clan life.” She paused for a moment, closing her eyes briefly, then continued, “It is past time for SkyClan to leave this place, and resume our quest to seek out the other Clans.”

  A gasp of astonishment rose from the assembled cats. For a moment they were stunned into silence. Then Sparrowpelt rose to his paws.

  “I’m sorry, Leafstar,” he meowed, “but if you weren’t my Clan leader, I’d tell you there must be bees in your brain. Leave? When we finally have a decent place to live, and all the prey we can eat?”

  “And monsters, and Twolegs, and dogs,” his mate, Tinycloud, reminded him. “Your bees are swarming if you think this is where StarClan intended us to be.”

  “It’s still a bad time to go,” Birdwing pointed out. “Leaf-bare will be on us soon, and we don’t even know where we’re going.”

  “And worse things might happen if we stay,” Leafstar responded. “My mind is made up. Our destiny has always been to be reunited with the other Clans. I am leaving in the morning, with any cats who want to come with me.”

  An uncomfortable silence fell at the Clan leader’s words. Clovertail voiced what Hawkwing—and, he guessed, the rest of his Clan—was thinking.

  “If we don’t follow our leader, then it’s the end of SkyClan.”

  “It might be the end of us anyway,” Sagenose pointed out. “Who knows what dangers might be waiting for us out there?”

  “We’ve had our fair share of danger,” Rileypool agreed. “But if any cats stay here, they won’t be part of our Clan anymore. Do you want to be a kittypet, Sagenose?”

  The older warrior’s only reply was an irritated lash of his tail.

  “Of course we’re coming with you, Leafstar,” Waspwhisker declared in a tone that didn’t invite argument.

  A murmur of agreement rose from the other cats, and Hawkwing sensed relief that the Clan deputy had made the decision for them. Some of them, like Tinycloud and Rileypool, even looked excited at the thought of seeking out other Clan cats.

  Reedkit let out a disappointed wail. “But why can’t we stay?” she whined. “I like it here by the lake.”

  Hawkwing, sitting with Plumwillow and the kits, bent his head and touched his nose to hers. “Don’t worry,” he mewed. “We’ll live by a new lake someday. One with fewer Twolegs.”

  “But I heard that Twolegs like to leave out nice food for cats,” Finkit piped up.

  Hawkwing exchanged a concerned glance with Plumwillow.

  “There’ll be plenty of nice food where we’re going,” Hawkwing reassured Finkit. “And it always tastes better if you catch it yourself!”

  “Will you teach us, then?” Dewkit asked eagerly. “I won’t mind leaving if we can be apprentices and you’ll be our mentor!”

  Hawkwing gave a mock shudder. “Mentor all three of you? Oh, StarClan, no!”

  “Mentors only have one apprentice at a time,” Plumwillow mewed briskly. “Besides, you’re too young to be apprentices yet. And now it’s time for sleep,” she added. “Tomorrow will be a long day.”

  When Hawkwing had helped Plumwillow settle the kits in the nursery, he returned to the clearing to see Leafstar still sitting on the branch from where she had spoken to her Clan. Full darkness had fallen, and most of the other cats had already retreated to their dens.

  “Leafstar, are you all right?” Hawkwing asked, leaping up to sit on the branch beside her.

  Leafstar’s gaze was fixed on the lake, just visible through the trees, her eyes luminous pools of regret. Hawkwing’s pelt warmed with the depth of his respect for her, with a twinge of sadness as he recognized the massive burden of leadership resting on her shoulders in these dark times.

  Being Clan leader must be like being a parent to all the cats in the Clan.

  “I’m going to miss this place,” Leafstar murmured. “I wanted so much for it to be our home forever. But it isn’t.”

  Hawkwing nodded in agreement. “Perhaps something even better is waiting for us,” he suggested.

  “I hope so,” Leafstar responded.

  But Hawkwing could see the doubt in her eyes.

  Hawkwing padded through deep woodland, where sunlight slanting through the branches dappled the ground with golden light. Though he didn’t turn his head to see her, he could feel Pebbleshine’s pelt brushing his, and smell her sweet scent. He felt filled up with happiness like a pool after heavy rain.

  A sudden throaty roar disturbed Hawkwing’s contentment. He glanced around sharply, half expecting to see a lion or a tiger from one of the elders’ nursery tales. As he looked, the trees seemed to grow dim, their outlines blurred, and there was no trace of Pebbleshine.

  “Don’t go!” he yowled.

  The roaring grew louder, and now Hawkwing recognized the sound of a monster. But there shouldn’t be monsters here! he thought, his pelt prickling with the first onset of panic.

  Hawkwing jerked awake, and raised his head to see dawn light trickling through the branches that sheltered the warriors’ den, and his Clanmates stirring around him. The roaring continued, growing louder still.
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  I certainly won’t miss that! he thought. I wish we could find a camp far, far away from any Thunderpaths, so I never have to hear that sound again.

  Then Rileypool poked his head into the den. “Come out, quickly!” he meowed urgently. “There are Twolegs in the forest!”

  “Then come in here and hide.” Hawkwing’s jaws stretched in a massive yawn. “That’s what we usually do when Twolegs get too close. Twolegs are too stupid to see what’s right in front of them!”

  “No, this is different,” Rileypool told him, his voice tight with tension. “There are too many of them, and—”

  A yowl from outside interrupted him, followed by the heavy pounding of Twoleg paw steps. Hawkwing’s neck fur began to bristle in alarm. Cautiously he peered out of the den, and cold horror shivered through him from ears to tail-tip at what he saw.

  Five Twolegs were tramping into the camp. They wore strange coverings on their paws and slick pelts the color of dandelions. Even worse, each of them was carrying a long stick with something made of interlaced tendrils, like a huge cobweb, on the end of it.

  By now Hawkwing’s Clanmates were pressing around him, trying to look out and gasping with fear at the sight.

  “What are they doing?” Rabbitleap demanded, but no cat could answer him.

  As Hawkwing watched, he spotted Fidgetpaw emerge from the medicine cat’s den and stand there stunned at the invasion. Immediately one of the Twolegs swung his stick at Fidgetpaw, then lifted it with Fidgetpaw tangled inside the cobweb. The medicine cat struggled, but he couldn’t break free.

  Horror crawled like ants through Hawkwing’s pelt as he watched. The Twoleg said something to one of his companions, and the two of them slapped paws. Then the second Twoleg rolled a tiny den into the camp, made of thin, shiny sticks. He opened one side, and the first Twoleg dumped Fidgetpaw inside.

  “He’s trapped!” Hawkwing yowled.

  He hurled himself out of the warriors’ den, his claws extended as he raced toward the invading Twolegs. His Clanmates poured out after him, snarling defiance.