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Craphound=========
Craphound had wicked yard-sale karma, for a rotten, filthy alien bastard. He wastoo good at panning out the single grain of gold in a raging river ofuselessness for me not to like him -- respect him, anyway. But then he found thecowboy trunk. It was two months' rent to me and nothing but some squirrellyalien kitsch-fetish to Craphound.
So I did the unthinkable. I violated the Code. I got into a bidding war with abuddy. Never let them tell you that women poison friendships: in my experience,wounds from women-fights heal quickly; fights over garbage leave nothing behindbut scorched earth.
Craphound spotted the sign -- his karma, plus the goggles in his exoskeleton,gave him the advantage when we were doing 80 kmh on some stretch of back-highwayin cottage country. He was riding shotgun while I drove, and we had the radio onto the CBC's summer-Saturday programming: eight weekends with eight hours of oldradio dramas: "The Shadow," "Quiet Please," "Tom Mix," "The Crypt-Keeper" withBela Lugosi. It was hour three, and Bogey was phoning in his performance on aradio adaptation of _The African Queen_. I had the windows of the old truckrolled down so that I could smoke without fouling Craphound's breather. My armwas hanging out th
e window, the radio was booming, and Craphound said "Turnaround! Turn around, now, Jerry, now, turn around!"
When Craphound gets that excited, it's a sign that he's spotted a rich vein. Ichecked the side-mirror quickly, pounded the brakes and spun around. Thetransmission creaked, the wheels squealed, and then we were creeping along theway we'd come.
"There," Craphound said, gesturing with his long, skinny arm. I saw it. A woodenA-frame real-estate sign, a piece of hand-lettered cardboard stuck overtop ofthe realtor's name:
EAST MUSKOKA VOLUNTEER FIRE-DEPT
LADIES AUXILIARY RUMMAGE SALE
SAT 25 JUNE
"Hoo-eee!" I hollered, and spun the truck onto the dirt road. I gunned theengine as we cruised along the tree-lined road, trusting Craphound to spot anydeer, signs, or hikers in time to avert disaster. The sky was a perfect blue andthe smells of summer were all around us. I snapped off the radio and listened tothe wind rushing through the truck.