I have a son....
A child he'd never been able to hold and soothe. A son he'd never taught to fight or protect himself. One he knew absolutely nothing about. Bitter, aching regret choked him hard.
Talyn met his mother's gaze. "I'll give you two the room."
As he started past her, Galene touched his arm. "Are you okay, baby?"
"I'm fine, Matarra."
Galene winced. That wasn't true and she knew it. But it was the best she'd get out of him. Talyn never showed anyone his emotions. His childhood had been too brutal for that.
Without another word, her son headed for his room.
Her heart hammering, she watched as Fain scanned the other photos of Talyn over the years. Their son had been a beautiful child. Overachiever to the extreme.
But then, Talyn had been forced to be three times better at everything he did to be seen as half as good as others.
Fain met her gaze again. "I don't know what upsets me more. The number of times I made money off Talyn's wins, or the times I lost money betting someone would gut him in the Ring."
"Don't even talk to me about that, Fain. Or I will kill you where you stand. You've no idea how much I hated him fighting for a prestige that should have been his at birth. How many times I've paced a waiting room floor, praying he'd live through the injuries he'd sustained because he had no future without battling for it. And even then, he was never given his due, because he never had a fully Vested lineage backing him." She clenched her teeth and glared at him. "Damn you for that."
Fain choked on the pain inside his heart. As a boy, he'd thought to trade his own life and future to save Dancer's. Instead, that "noble" action had cost his son his.
Galene's and Talyn's futures were not supposed to have been part of the bargain he'd made with Chrisen and Merrell Anatole to keep Dancer and Keris safe. Nothing had turned out the way it should have.
And never had he hated himself more.
"I can imagine what you've been through."
"No, Fain. You can't. Not really. You were always so popular. Everyone loved and adored you. Worshiped the ground the mighty War Hauk tread upon ... Our son has never known that. Most decent, self-respecting Andarions won't socialize with him. At all. Even as an officer, he wasn't allowed to shower in the same barracks area as any Vested soldier. The only female who will have anything to do with him is a paid companion he has set up in his condo, across town. I had to send him to school with Hyshians because our race wouldn't allow him to attend an Andarion school with a broken lineage. Every door he reached for was brutally slammed, not in his face, but on his little hands."
He winced in response, and well he should.
"The Hyshian and human children weren't allowed to play with him because he was Andarion. And the Andarion children weren't allowed to talk to him because he was the bastard of an Outcast father. Do you know he was even too humiliated to tell me that he'd finally broken down and paid for a mistress? Had he not been coldly shot down by his own commander--who hated you--and almost killed, I'd have never known he had that much in his life."
She jerked her chin toward his awards and articles. "Even though he was and is the most celebrated fighter in Ring history, her agency still refused to allow Talyn to have a full contract with her. He had to take on more fights to buy it out or lose her to a fully Vested male. And you never want to know what the cost of that contract was. It still boggles my mind and fills me with fury."
Fain ground his teeth. Every Andarion mistress and her agency that he'd ever heard of, or known, would have sold their souls to make a lifelong pact with a military officer. Especially one who held the second highest rank in their armada, and wasn't fifty years old with it. Not to mention the fact that, as Galene had said, Talyn Batur was an intergalactic champion regaled by every known world who followed the Andarion Ring sport.
It sickened him to think of what his child had gone through because of him.
"If I'd had any inkling, Stormy, I would have busted hell wide open to provide for both of you."
She let out a weary sigh. "It doesn't matter now, does it? We can't go back. And we both had a guilty hand in ruining our son's life."
"I don't know." He gestured at the trophies and awards on the shelves and wall. "You look like you've done an amazing job with him."
Galene looked away. Tears filled her eyes as she tried not to remember the past. "Every day, I ask myself if I could have done more. If I should have done more."
Fain gave her a hard, harsh stare. "You're a much better mother than I ever had. At least you loved him. Protected him. You didn't eject him from your house and make him an Outcast who didn't dare step foot in any Andarion territory without a death sentence hanging over his head."
Galene swallowed at those words. Funny, she'd never thought of Fain that way. For all these years, he'd been a target for her hatred. She had never really considered how hard it'd been for him to be alone, without lineage.
Mostly because she hadn't cared. She'd wanted his life to be lived in total misery. Wanted him to pay brutally for leaving her.
For leaving Talyn, and causing her baby harm.
Now that she knew he had, it didn't make her feel better as she'd thought it would.
It, too, made her sad.
"Having raised Talyn, I will never understand how my parents did me the way they did. Or what yours did to you. There's no way I could ever hurt him. Not intentionally."
"As I said, you're a much better mother than any I know. He was lucky to have you. The only thing he got shafted in was the father department, and for that I am so incredibly sorry."
"Commander?"
They both turned as Talyn rejoined them.
He handed a link to his mother. "There's been another attack."
Flinching, she took the link from him and left the room to answer the call.
Awkward silence filled the air between them as Talyn stared a brittle hole through him.
What did someone say to a grown child they'd never known they had?
All of a sudden, Fain had a whole new respect for Nykyrian, who'd been faced with this when his ex had dropped Thia on him, out of the blue.
Uncomfortable, he cleared his throat. "Your mom said that you have a female?"
Talyn continued to stare at him, without comment.
"Does she have a name?"
"Yes."
Fain winced at the fact that Talyn had no intention of making this any easier on him. "And it is...?"
A full and very slow minute went by before he answered. "Felicia."
"It's a beautiful name."
And still he glared at him. Damn. Forget Talyn's martial skills. That cold stare alone could let blood.
"How long have the two of you--"
"I don't talk about my personal life with strangers."
Wounded and hurt, Fain nodded as he remembered reading that in a few different articles over the years. It was something the media had beaten Talyn up over. The Iron Hammer didn't show his face in the Ring, or out of it. Nor did he speak of anything other than his matches. He kept everyone at arm's length. The most the media had dragged out of him was that he liked to rock climb and camp on weekends. And that was if they could ever get an interview with him at all.
"Is there anything I can say to you that would end with us at least on friendly terms?"
"You're dying with a painful, terminal disease and only have a few hours to live might work."
Fain let out a tired "heh" with that. "Aren't you at least curious about me?"
Talyn snorted. "Not really."
"You've no questions whatsoever?"
"He's never asked any questions about you or your family," Galene said as she rejoined them. "Not even your name."
Fain didn't know why, but that hurt more than anything. "I see. We'll keep this strictly military, then. I'll stay out of both your ways, and you can contact me whenever you need me to relay orders to the Phrixians. Darling Cruel--the Caronese emperor--you
can deal with directly. He has no problem taking orders from a female, as Jayne has bossed him around for years, and broke him in when he was young. If you need to contact one of his commanders, you can text me and I'll forward the orders. Most of the Tavali shouldn't have any problem with you. If they do give you any trouble, forward their names and I'll tell you who they answer to. You can easily deal with their four primary commanders, and if it helps, Ryn Cruel--Darling's older brother--is the son of Hermione Dane. She's the leader of the Wasturnum, and she sits at the head of the UTC."
Galene arched a brow. "UTC?"
"Universal Tavali Council. She goes by Kirren, and you will need that name to get through to her. It's her call sign, reserved only for those closest to her. All the Tavali operate that way. It's how we keep outsiders and spies from knowing anything about us."
Talyn narrowed his gaze on him. "What name do you use? Faithless?"
Fain let the insult go. "I don't. Nor do I answer to anyone. I'm what's called a Rogue."
"And that is?"
He returned Talyn's glare with an equally cold look. "Someone with no family or individual National allegiance. What Andarions affectionately call an Outcast, only the Tavali don't try to kill us on sight. They just use us when they need cannon fodder or decoys, and we pay a yearly fee directly to the UTC, instead of a tithing fee to a National Presidium."
Galene glanced away as she caught the pain that flashed into Fain's eyes. She shouldn't care.
At all. And yet she did.
Because I used to love him.
Maybe. And maybe it was because Talyn favored him so much that it was her love of her son that made her more sympathetic to the man he took after.
Yeah, she'd go with that, for now.
Fain tapped at his ear. "Hauk, go," he said to whomever was calling. He waited several seconds before he spoke again. "We'll be right there." He met her gaze. "Your guard is on board and waiting with my crew. If you two are ready, we can be on our way."
As they started for the door, Talyn tapped his ear. "Hey, is something wrong?" He placed his finger against the link and frowned as he listened intently. He led them out to the hallway. "You need me to call for you?"
Fain duplicated Talyn's frown in a disturbingly similar manner. "Is he okay?"
Galene nodded as they headed for the lifts. "He's talking to Felicia."
"How do you know?"
"The warm concern in his voice and the amount of concentration he's giving the caller. The gentleness of his tone. He only talks to her like that." She led them into the lift.
Talyn checked the time.
Fain was stunned by the difference in Talyn's demeanor while he spoke to his Felicia. Everything about Talyn was different now. For the first time, he seemed vulnerable.
"Honey, listen, if you need me to, I don't mind. I've still got a few before we're hit the bay." Talyn completely ignored everyone else as he followed them into the lift. "Yeah, okay. But if they give you any more lip at all, you let me know and I'll deal with them. I mean it. No one disregards you like that. Ever. I will totally bust their asses for it."
His features softened and he closed his eyes as if he was savoring whatever she was saying to him. "Yeah, me, too. I'll check in when I can. Stay safe. Love you." He lowered his hand and turned instantly stern again.
"Is everything all right?" Galene asked.
Talyn gave a curt military nod before he elaborated. "The pool monitors went out and the new company I hired was harassing Lish because her name isn't on the account. She just wanted to make sure it was okay to add herself to it." A fierce tic started in his jaw.
Rigid and pissed, Talyn headed out of the lift and toward their transports as if he wanted to commit murder.
Fain pulled Galene aside in the lobby while the others followed Talyn. "Why's he so angry about a pool company?"
She gave him a dry stare. "Why do you think, Fain? He can't legally pledge marriage to the female he loves more than his life. So he, who is the second highest ranking member of the Andarion military, is forced to be bound by curfew and barracks restrictions that won't allow them to live together. The only way to keep him out of a barracks is if he lives with the commander he serves ... his own mother. Meanwhile, the mistress he's contracted with is left to tend his home with companies that don't want to deal with either of them because neither of them is fully Vested and their contract isn't through a traditional agency." She barely whispered the next words to him. "Rather it's one that could get them both arrested if anyone ever investigated it fully."
"Why doesn't he get out of the military, then?"
"And do what? He's the bastard son of a disinherited War Hauk. Who would hire him or deal with him in the private sector? He's a lack-Vest, Fain. The fighting schools won't even allow him, the Iron Hammer, to train other fighters. Can you imagine how humiliating that is?"
"Then allow me to adopt him. I know Cairistiona would approve it for us. As his father, I can give him full protection of the royal house. He'd be an eton Anatole and a Winged Batur then, and no one would dare to look him in the eye, never mind say anything unkind to him."
"I will gladly allow it. But it's not up to me, is it? And it won't undo all the humiliation he's been put through since birth. You were raised with two of the most prestigious bloodlines on all of Andaria flowing through your veins. Andarions gravitated toward you in school. Everyone wanted to be your friend."
She jerked her chin toward Talyn, who was waiting for them on the curb. "With my family lineage and yours, he should have been a higher caste than even you were growing up. Instead, he was spat on and laughed at. Denied and degraded by those who aren't even fit to be speaking directly to him. I'm not the one you need to win over, Fain. He is."
Fain ground his teeth as Galene left him to join their son. She was right. He could see the way the other Andarions looked at Talyn. Even though he was a titled champion and their commander, they still showed their smug contempt for him. Something they would have never dared to do to a War Hauk or a fully Vested Batur.
That was what made Talyn so stern and reserved around everyone. Why he showed no emotion whatsoever.
"You okay?"
Fain nodded as Dancer joined him. Then he shook his head. "I can't believe I screwed over my own son."
"You didn't know."
"It doesn't change anything, does it?"
Dancer sighed. "I'm sorry, Fain."
So was he. "Can you do me a favor, little brother?"
"Anything."
"Find out who this Felicia is that he's contracted with." Maybe she could give him some insight into Talyn.
The one thing he'd learned over the years was that any male's weakness was always the female he loved. Especially when that male was a War Hauk.
Talyn might hate him, but his son would listen to his Felicia.
If Fain could win her over, he might be able to start building a relationship with Talyn. It was at least worth a try.
"Do you have her full name?" Dancer asked.
"No. She's living in Talyn's condo. That's all I know about her."
"Oh, well, by all means, make it easy on me, why don't you?"
He gave his brother an irritated smirk. "If I knew more about her, I wouldn't be asking you for information. I'd find it myself."
Dancer fanged him. "You really suck as a brother."
"Yeah, well, you should have to deal with mine. He's a stellar asshole."
Rolling his eyes, Dancer left Fain and got into the transport behind Talyn, who sat beside his mother.
Fain sat across from them.
While they rode, he noted the way Talyn kept checking his link and biting back a smile while he covertly texted with his female.
Yeah, his son loved her. Dearly. She was the way to his heart.
And sadly, both Galene and Talyn--the two beings who hated him most--were the keys to his.
While he'd regretted much of his life, there was nothing he regretted more than having walked
away from them. But he'd had no choice. Had he stayed, Dancer, like their brother Keris, would have been mercilessly killed.
His little brother still bore those scars that had ultimately forced Fain's hand.
Now ...
I will make this right. He had no idea how, but he would find a way to save them all. Even if it killed him.
CHAPTER 5
Fain watched as Galene and Talyn boarded his ship. They had no idea that this had been his primary home for the majority of Talyn's life.
And his own, for that matter.
A strange sensation went through him as he watched his "family" heading toward the flight deck to strap in while the rest of the Andarions that came onboard with them gathered in the cargo area. All that was missing was Dancer's pregnant wife and two kids, and everything Fain loved would be contained within these metal walls.
Everything.
He pulled Dancer to the side. "Can I ask a huge favor?"
Dancer scowled. "What?"
"You know where we're headed. Find Talyn's female and bring her to the Porturnum station to stay with him. I think he'll like that."
Dancer's gaze softened. "You sure?"
He nodded. "Families shouldn't be separated. And while you're at it, why don't you bring Sumi and the kids, too? I know you don't want to be away from them, either."
A strange shadow appeared in Dancer's red eyes. "Who are you and what have you done with my I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything brother?"
Fain snorted at his mock sarcasm. "Shut the fuck up and do what I said."
"Now there's the familiar asshole I know so well and love for reasons still unknown."
Fain made an obscene gesture before he shoved his equally gargantuan brother down the ramp. He turned to catch Talyn staring at him with an arched brow.
"What?" Fain asked irritably.
Before he could respond, Chayden let out an obnoxious, "H-a-m-m-e-r! Be damned if it's not an honor to work with you!"
Talyn turned his scowl toward the Qillaq Tavali pirate. A light of familiarity darkened his eyes. "Chayden Aniwaya?"
Chayden drew up short. "Ah crap ... Do I owe you money?"
Talyn snorted at his reaction. "I'm an old friend of Morra and Qorach. Qory talks about you all the time."
Recognition brightened Chayden's entire face as he laughed and clapped Talyn on the back, then realized he probably shouldn't have been quite that forward with someone who could put him through the titanium walls with a sneeze. He placed a little more distance between them as he continued to grin at Talyn. "So you're Sexy Baby T! I should have known. Though to be honest, the way they talk about you, I thought you'd be about three years old."