Page 38
I dialed Cassie’s number, but it went straight to voice mail. Again. Where the hell was she? I forwarded the picture message to her cell.
She’d bailed on me in the middle of all the Chrystle drama and now this. How would she explain this? I looked at it, clear as day with my own two eyes. Matteo’s filthy fucking lips stuck to my beautiful Kitten’s. Have I been fooled this whole time?
I walked into our bedroom and pulled out the velvet ring box I’d buried in my sock drawer. It creaked as I opened it to peer at the shiny diamond inside. How could she do this to me? To us? Shaking my head, I squeezed my eyes closed before opening them again. The image of Matteo kissing Cassie plagued my every thought.
I snapped the box shut and pitched it forcefully through the opened closet door. It crashed against something with a loud thud, and I walked out of our room not caring what happened to the contents.
Maybe it was all an elaborate ploy, her inability to handle the press? How long had she and Matteo been sneaking around behind my back? Had I forced them together by asking him to keep her safe during my games? Was this all my fault? I wondered how long I had until the media got ahold of that picture. With my luck, it was already posted everywhere.
I dialed Melissa’s cell phone, determined to reach Cassie. I listened as it rang three times. Cassie answered, and she sounded nervous when she said hi. I asked where her phone was, unable to hide my anger. Her voice rose, and she actually sounded confused and worried when she told me she left it at Melissa’s apartment and asked what was wrong.
“Check it as soon as you get back and then you fucking tell me,” I said and ended the call. I didn’t want to hear another word out of her mouth until she looked at the same picture I had. I waited. And grew more agitated with each passing minute. The press was already having a field day with all of Chrystle’s accusations, now they’d have even more to talk shit about.
On top of it all, now I needed to find a new driver. Matteo’s work here was finished. No matter what the story, I didn’t want to see his face anywhere near mine again.
I paced our apartment, my anger growing as my patience wore thin. Half tempted to call Melissa again, my phone suddenly rang. I answered the call, but said nothing.
“Jack? Are you there? It’s not what it looks like, I swear. ” She pleaded through the phone, and I found myself surprised at my lack of sympathy.
“So, he didn’t kiss you? ’Cause it looks like he’s kissing you. ”
She hesitated. “Yes, he kissed me, but…”
I cut her off. “How long?”
“How long, what?” she asked, her breathing shaky.
“How long has this been going on?”
She inhaled sharply. “What? Nothing is going on, Jack, I swear. There’s nothing between me and Matteo. He kissed me, and I pushed him away. ”
“It doesn’t look like you’re pushing him away in this picture. Did you like it? His lips on yours. Looks like you might like it. ”
“I pushed him off of me, Jack! I told him no! I told him I loved you. ” She started to cry.
It tugged at my chest, the sound of her crying, but I pretended not to care. “Why didn’t you tell me about the kiss?”
“Because we haven’t even talked. Because it meant nothing. He apologized. He was scared to death of losing his job with us. ”
“He should be. ’Cause I’m either going to fire him or fucking kill him. ” Or both. “You know what, Cass, I don’t blame another guy for falling for you. I don’t. But you… I never expected this from you, of all people. I feel like I don’t even know you. ”
“Don’t say that, Jack. Of course you know me. I love you. I’ll come home tomorrow. We’ll fix this. I’ll tell you everything. ”
“Don’t. ” I stopped her rant.
“Don’t what? Don’t come home?” She sounded like she couldn’t believe what I said.
“I don’t want to see you,” I admitted, my guts feeling like they had just been shredded.
“What? Don’t do this. Jack, please,” she begged.
I leaned against the granite countertop, thoughts racing, emotions clashing. I was pissed off. I’d worked so hard to break down this girl’s walls, but no matter what I did, it was never good enough. She always ended up blocking me out, and I didn’t deserve it.
“This is bullshit, Cassie! I haven’t done anything since I came back into your life except try to be a better man for you. I try every single day to do right by you. It’s all I want, to be good enough. To make up for the mistake I made. I’d do anything for you. ”
My frustrations mounted as I vented. “But you walk around here constantly keeping shit from me. And when things finally get to be too much for you, what do you do? You run away. I know you’re used to being let down and disappointed, but we’re supposed to be a team. We hold each other up when the other one’s about to fall. We don’t run away and leave our other half to fend for him or herself. ”
She stayed quiet, clearly having no defense for her actions, so I continued. “You left me here to deal with Chrystle and her shit all alone. I know you’re hurt and angry, but I am too. Did you even once stop to think about how I felt? How her article affected me and made me look? No. Because you left me here and took off. ”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she said with a sob.
“Yeah? For which part?” I asked, and could hear her sobbing in the background.
“I’m sorry for all of it, Jack. You’re right. I don’t deal with things well and I promise I’ll work on it. ”
I exhaled through my nose as I stared out the balcony window. “It’s more than that. You keep things inside and…”
“Because I don’t want to bother you with stuff I think is stupid. I don’t want you to worry about things when you’re on the field. You have enough to worry about. ”
“You don’t get to decide what’s stupid and what isn’t. If it’s bothering you, then you need to tell me. You need to communicate with me. I fucking tell you everything. I share everything with you because I don’t ever want there to be another secret between us again. I don’t like keeping things from you, and I don’t appreciate you keeping things from me. ”
“I don’t know what to say other than I’m sorry. I know I’m not good at being an open book, but I’ll try to be better. ”
“And I know I let you down before and you don’t trust me completely. But this goes beyond that, and I think we both know it. ” She sniffed, and her breath hitched repeatedly as I continued. “After tonight’s game, we’ll be on the road for few days. I think we should take this time to figure out what we both want. ”
“I know what I want,” she insisted.
“I don’t,” I lied. Of course I wanted Cassie, but I was hurt. I lost her trust in one terrible decision-making moment, but she lost pieces of mine every time she shut me out, kept me at distance, or didn’t care enough about our relationship to stay put and fight. I wanted to know we were solid, but her actions only confused me.
“OK,” she said with hurt in her voice. “I’ll do anything to fix this, Jack. Tell me what you need me to do. ”
I took a long, deep breath. It was finally my turn.
“Prove it,” I said before ending the call. Now she would know how it felt to be on the other end of that fucking request.
I immediately dialed the car service where Matteo worked and asked for the owner. “Hi, Mr. Lombardi, Jack Carter here. I need to cancel all services with Matteo and request a new driver starting today. ”
“Of course, Mr. Carter. Did Matteo do something wrong?”
The media would inform him soon enough, if he didn’t know already. “I just want a new driver. Do not send Matteo here today or I’ll lose my shit. Do you understand?”
He cleared his throat. “I, uh… understand. ”
“Thank you. ”
“Do you still require the driver to stay for the duration of the games?”
“No, I do not. ”
I pressed End on my cell and typed out a text message to Matteo for good measure.
You’re fired. Don’t show your face here again and stay the fuck away from Cassie.
I tossed my phone down, not expecting a response when it beeped right back.
Jack, I’m really sorry. Can I come there and talk to you?
I cracked my neck from side to side, the idea of seeing Matteo igniting the flames of my temper.
Not a good idea, man. Not right now.
It will take 2 seconds. Please. I know you want to kill me. Let me explain.
Explain? Explain how his lips touched my girlfriend’s? What the hell was there to explain? Maybe he wanted me to kick his ass? I glanced at the clock on the wall. I had time.
Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
My body tensed all over as the image of him kissing Cassie burned into my mind. Within minutes, he knocked on my door. I hesitated, knowing that if I started hitting him, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to stop.
I opened the door, the dejected look on his face almost made me feel sorry for him. Almost. I clenched my hands, balling them into fists as my mind raced. I stepped back from the door, not wanting to be near him. I didn’t invite him in.
“Jack, I’m really sorry. There’s no excuse for my behavior. It’s just that she looked so sad and so distraught that it killed me to see her like that. I just wanted her to be happy. My emotions took over, and I got all jumbled up inside. ”
He had feelings for her.
I glared at him, willing myself to stay calm as he continued. “I feel horrible and I know you can never forgive me, but you need to know that Cassie stopped me. She shoved me away and put me in my place. ”
Good girl.
“I never meant to disrespect you or your relationship. Somewhere along the way of looking out for her at the games, my feelings got involved. But she doesn’t have any feelings for me. She made that completely clear. I know you’ll never forgive me, but I hope you’ll forgive her. ”
I don’t know why, but that kindhearted comment set me off. “Don’t tell me what to do with her. She’s none of your business. ”
His expression tightened. “You’re right. I just wanted to apologize to you and tell you what happened. I really am sorry Jack. ”
I swallowed my pride. And then I almost choked on it. I couldn’t blame him for caring about her when that’s exactly what I’d asked him to do. No wonder the lines got blurred. He protected her so often that he didn’t know how to turn that part off. “I understand how your feelings for her grew. ” The tension between his brows lessened slightly. “I don’t forgive you right now for kissing her. But maybe in time I will. ”
He nodded. “Thank you. That means a lot. ” He turned to leave.
“Matteo,” I called out. “Thanks for coming by. ”
A real man owned up to his mistakes and confronted them. Even when I warned him not to come here, he still insisted. It was hard not to respect that kind of integrity. Not to mention the fact that I liked Matteo. Maybe I could grow to like him again. Maybe.