wondered about that too,” he said. “My guess is that the elder Utopians were worried that he’d realize his subconscious while still a baby. They probably needed a way to hide his wings.”
Farmland had turned to forest. My only hope was in my pocket collecting lint. A glimpse of white caught me through the trees. We had arrived. Pulling the toy bus up to the deck, Ash parked Magic. Walking up the steps and into the house, Ash and I found the kitchen empty. The library and living room were similarly occupied.
I looked around. “Where is everybody?”
“Beats me,” Ash answered.
I followed him up the long, winding staircase and into the upstairs hallway. Anxiety was beginning to crawl over me again. Following Ash further, I walked through the sunlit hall under the Holan’s study and up the spiral staircase.
In the tower room, Ash turned to me. “You don’t have to do this.”
I swallowed my anxiety. “Yes, I do.”
“I’m serious,” Ash said. “You can still become a Dreamdrifter, Annie. Just help someone else. You don’t have to torture yourself. Dreamdrifting requires self knowledge, not self affliction!”
“I’m going,” I stated. My resolve was unflinching. “Get me the vial, Ash.”
In a matter of seconds, Ash had retrieved and handed me the small glass vial. Reclining on the sofa, I rested my head on a cushion. Ash joined me, the weight of his muscular body filling the space behind me. Nearly spilling the vial in haste, I opened the top. The liquid was clear and undisturbed. I downed it.
Descending into the subconscious mind, regardless of my practice, was hard to get used to. The room seemed to rise and then turn over in a tumult of gravitational chaos. And then we were falling through the floor. Darkness gushed past me in a roar of speed. Then it stopped. We were there.
I opened my eyes. They burned red hot as dense, black smoke forced itself upon them. I immediately shut them again. Grappling with my hand, I found Ash’s. “What is this?” I choked on the suffocating air. “What happened?”
“There’s been a fire,” Ash said. “We’re back on the cliff. Can you feel the rock beneath you?”
“Yes,” I answered.
Ash squeezed my hand. “Sit down right where you are,” he said. “We’re near the precipice.” He lowered with me as I sat on the rocky cliff top. “I’ll be right back,” he coughed. “Keep your eyes closed!”
Caleb’s subconscious mind had changed drastically. Last time this underworld had been a litany of everything poisonous, but now the litany was gone and replaced by a single killer.
Smoke, dense, indestructible, billowing smoke pushed against me from every side, its blackness ready to swallow me whole. There was no escaping the choking melee. Laying my head on my upturned knees, I covered it with my arms.
Ash returned. Again he carried the rope ladder over his shoulder. I remained sitting while Ash went about fastening the ladder. “It’s holding,” Ash said, tugging firmly on the ladder. “Come try it for size.” Scooping myself up, I went to him in the dark. I could barely see him through the smoke. Climbing on the ladder, I started lowering myself down the rungs. “Hold up!” Ash called, forestalling me. I waited for his follow up. However, none came.
“Ash, wha –” But I was interrupted by his lips soaking mine, thrilling me with bliss. How strange it was to taste the sweetness of honey and the warmth of gold amid the bleakness of a suffocating world.
“That one,” Ash said, breaking away. “Is for the road.”
My smile was obscured in smoke. “Don’t you mean the ladder?”
“Anywhere,” he said. “Take it with you.”
“I will,” I promised. “But I’d prefer wings right now.”
His laugh turned to a hacking cough. “That makes two of us.”
Descending the ladder this time was even worse than before. The swirling smog had turned to billowing smoke, the stinging stench in my nose had turned to a singing burn in my throat, and my eyes were already crying. Burning sensations were everywhere, both outside surrounding and inside abounding.
I reached the bottom of the abyss. Gargantuan smoke plumes billowed from fires that still raged. However, these fires were contained unlike the roaring, massacring machine that had filled the horizon before. Looking up, I saw the massive smoke plumes growing larger as they rose, filling the open air above. Now I understood the blackness of the cliff top.
The landfill had been leveled by the rage of the fire. The multicolored mountains were gone, their majestically rising layers of garbage reduced to a charred, rubbish strewn wasteland. The pathways I had used before had collapsed under the onslaught. Regardless, the abyss was at least navigable now. The fury of the fire had eventually destroyed everything including itself.
I had to find Caleb.
Peering around, I saw nothing and nobody. I began to walk in earnest. There was no path to follow this time, no illusion of progress. There existed only me, myself, and my doubts. I pushed forward, my eyes keen on the landscape.
The scrap metal was alone intact after the fire, although the piles were blackened and soot stained. At least the scenery had been colorful before. Now everything was homogenized into darkness.
“Caleb!” I yelled randomly. I cupped my hands. “Caleb! Cale –” A cough forced me to stop. “Caleb!” I continued. “Caleb!”
“Yes?” A voice replied.
I spun around. “Caleb!”
He was there. I had walked right passed him. Upon seeing him, however, I understood why I had gone unawares. Caleb’s appearance, like everything else, had changed. He was covered in soot, the trash of his skin wrinkled with burning char. But I knew he was the same boy I had already known.
“Hi,” I breathed.
Caleb blinked lopsidedly. The tack punctured bottle cap of his left eye had survived. His Reese’s cup eye, however, had burned badly so that it curled inward, half blinding him. The rest of his body appeared similarly, some parts having survived while others were reduced to unrecognizable char. His arm had reattached and looked like baked tar.
I watched him closely. “May I sit?”
“I suppose,” he allowed.
Sitting next to him, I gazed over the landscape of his subconscious. I was struck by how far I could see, how far my vision went unobstructed. The horizon was no longer a fiery red but a deathly black.
I stared into the distance. “I’m glad you survived the fire, Caleb.”
“Oh,” he said. “You know about that?”
“Yes,” I said. “I know.” Caleb retrieved an object from the ground. I recognized it immediately. It was the walking stick. It had survived the fire. He began carving out the ash around our feet. “Caleb?” I asked slowly, watching his strokes. “Why do you still live here?”
“What?” Caleb asked.
“There’s been a fire,” I remarked. “So shouldn’t you move away?”
“No,” he said, staring at his stick. “This is my home. This is me.”
“What is you?”
“Trash,” he replied.
This boy was impossible. Caleb really believed what he was saying, really believed that he was trash. Something inside of me, something instinctual, instructed me to talk before attempting my plan.
“Listen,” I said. “You are not trash.”
Caleb almost laughed. The laugh, however, turned to a hacking cough so that he doubled over, wheezing into a charred hand. “I’m not trash?” Caleb asked incredulously, righting himself. “Look at me!”
“You are not trash,” I repeated. “You are covered in trash!”
“You’re wrong,” he said. “I am trash. I’m covered in ash and char.”
I sighed heavily. This was going nowhere. I would have to attempt my original plan. But what if it failed? It was unimaginable, the thought of returning to Ash with nothing, a failure again.
“I brought you something,” I told him. “But I’m wondering whether I should give it to you now or later.”
“Now!” Caleb excla
imed, nearly dropping his walking stick. “Please! Can I have it now?” His lopsided eyes blinked excitedly.
Hand trembling, I reached into my pocket. My shaking fingers grasped the small, breakable object. I retrieved the item. It was my grandmother’s small, handheld mirror. “Take this,” I said quietly. “And tell me what you see.”
Caleb took the mirror. He lifted it to his face. He dropped the walking stick. Caleb blinked in the stunned space between his remaining eye and the mirror, his jaw falling in unrestrained disbelief.
I closed my eyes. “What do you see?”
“I – I’m…” But he couldn’t say it.
“Yes,” I answered. “You are.”
Caleb stared at his reflection in the mirror, his charred expression dazed in shock. He swallowed hard. “Can I have this? Please?”
“Yes,” I said. “But not the mirror. The mirror was my grandmother’s and is mine. If you follow me, though, I will take you to where you will find what you see. Will you follow me?”
Caleb didn’t blink. “Yes.”
“Will you follow me now?”
“Yes,” he said.
Standing, I reclaimed the mirror. I put the heirloom back in my jeans pocket. Caleb gathered himself to my side. The walking stick remained on the ground. It was time to move on.
We journeyed toward the rope ladder. Its descending vertical flight was only just visible in the distance. The dark horizon was already fading into light. This underworld was about to be lost by someone found.
“Are we really leaving?” Caleb asked.
I nodded. “Yes.”
We had arrived at the ladder.
“You first,” I instructed.
Grasping the ladder, I held it steady. Caleb lifted his charred, torn tissue box foot onto the bottom rung before following it with the other. He began to climb. Waiting for him to get higher, I gazed around for a second before clambering on myself. I stared at the cliff wall while ascending, impatient to leave this place behind. However, I was soon distracted.
Blackened, soot covered debris was falling around me. Occasionally, a small piece would bounce off my head or shoulders. None were large enough to cause me any harm. And I had my joyous suspicions.
Though smoke plumes still billowed upward ceaselessly, I could at least see now. I continued to climb tenaciously. When I was nearly to the top, Ash poked his head over the edge.
“Annie!” Ash shouted happily. “Hurry! Wait till you see him!”
“What?” I called.
He leaned over the cliff’s edge. “Come on!” Ash said excitedly. “Hurry! You’ve got to see him!” Pushing my legs up the final rungs, I grasped Ash’s hand. Lifting me from the ladder, Ash brought me safely to the cliff top. He dusted me off fussily. “Isn’t he something!”
And then I saw the boy standing next to Ash. This young teenager was nobody I recognized. The ginger hair that covered his forehead was eccentric above freckles and green eyes that were springing with life. He was beautiful.
Caleb rubbed his eyes. “I don’t like this place,” he said quietly. “It hurts.”
“So leave,” I whispered, closing my own eyes. “This place is no longer you. You can wake up now, Caleb. It’s only a dream.” I opened my eyes. Caleb had vanished. Hazel eyes alone reflected mine.
“Take me home, Ash,” I said. “You say the word this time.”
“No,” Ash said. I stared at him. He was serious. “I won’t say the word,” Ash continued. “Until you tell me what you are.” I frowned in confusion. And then I understood.
My whisper was a word. “Dreamdrifter…”
15. The Dreamdrifter
The dreamcatcher in my room had fallen to the floor while I slept. I awoke to it gracing my chest, the ink of its loops winding into curls. There was no other explanation, there was no other answer.
I had become a Dreamdrifter.
My dream was awake.
Ash and I were traversing the grounds at Everest. The shadow dappled lawn lay contentedly above the still earth. Evening had arrived, the coming of the day’s demise undeniable. We walked within the shadow of the trees. Some distance away, a single firefly lit his tail.
“Look,” Ash said, pointing. “A torch in darkness.”
I took Ash’s hand before gazing down at my dreamcatcher. “I don’t remember choosing this.”
With oceans of a dark blue and continents of a dark green, the dreamcatcher on my chest was a beautifully rendered earth. The continents were enveloped within a silky web of brown beads while the waters of the sea poured downward into restless, flowing feathers.
Ash stared at my chest. “What are your parents going to say?”
I smiled. “I’ll be wearing more modest clothing from now on,” I replied. “How do these things work, anyway?”
“You touch it and say a name,” Ash said.
“That’s it? That’s all?”
“That’s all, that’s it,” Ash answered.
Approaching the house again, we tread on growing shadows. Like a flying fox evening had fled into night. Ash pulled me closer. The heat of his body seemed to ripple down from his muscular arms.
Hazel eyes watched me silently, coming closer before drenching me in honey residue. Giving the warmth of his kiss to the cold of my lips, Ash filled me. I could taste his gold.
He pulled me in the direction of the deck. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”
“Ash?” I followed in his wake, wanting an answer to the question now eating me. “Do you think Coraline will let me join the Holurn?”
“She better,” he replied, squeezing my hand. “Because I’m proud of you, Annie. I’m proud to be your teacher, I’m proud to be your boyfriend, and I’m proud to be your friend. I love you, Annie.” Before I had time enough to respond, Ash had pulled me through the door and into the kitchen.
“SURPRISE!”
I gaped around the room. Coraline, Wayfara, Todd, Julian, and Cassie stood in a semicircle around the kitchen, their smiles huge. My eyes found the cake. It was sitting on the island, its many cream encrusted layers dusting my mouth with saliva and my eyes with sugar. Best of all, it was shaped like a dreamcatcher.
“Ash!” I exclaimed, turning to his blushing face. “You didn’t have to do this! And what a yummy looking cake!”
“Shame it’s only for dessert,” Wayfara commented, gazing at the cream encrusted feathers. “If I were cooking that’d be dinner!”
“If you were cooking,” Coraline began. “You would eat the whole thing yourself! There’s no harm in waiting. We’ll have a tasty dessert!”
“Thanks you guys,” I said.
Todd’s smile was creamier than the cake. “No worries.”
“Let’s skip dinner,” Wayfara suggested. “It’s cake time!”
Cassie frowned from the oven. “I’m happy,” she said. “That the cake is appreciated, but I have just spent the last hour making a surprise dinner and we’re not skipping it!”
“How’s it coming?” Coraline asked.
“Nearly done, Holan,” Cassie replied, her voice rippling with satisfaction as she moved a pot to a new burner. “I’m cooking an entire salmon,” she added. “We’ve got Caesar salad, baked potatoes, and lima beans for our veggies. The fish needs another five minutes to broil. I’ve got the Arrowhearts covered!”
“Thanks, Cass.”
Adia had arrived. She leaned against the doorway into the kitchen, her attire a deluge of enveloping black. For the first time she had chosen to reveal the curling flow of her dreamcatcher.
“You always were good to us pescetarians, Cassie,” Todd remarked. “We never should have moved out!”
“Too late!” Cassie laughed. “But I could still use your help. Todd, if you could grab the salad and some plates that would be great. Everyone grab something!” Cassie called aloud. “We need silverware, glasses, napkins, and iced tea and coffee from the fridge. Ash, can you get those potatoes in a bowl and take them in? I obviously can’t! I’m on salmon duty
!” Grabbing the iced drinks from the fridge, I headed to the dining room.
“Congratulations, Annie,” Adia said, walking close beside me. “I didn’t know you were intending to help Caleb again. Well done,” she praised. “And my prophecy was right,” she continued, gesturing to my tattoo. “You were meant to become a Dreamdrifter.” Adia pushed open the glass door to the dining room, pausing only to stopper it with a foot block.
I was about to respond when the main group arrived behind Cassie, her arms filled with an enormous, rounded dish. A whole and succulently steaming salmon graced its surface.
“Dinner is served!” Cassie announced. “Can you do the servings, Todd? Julian, turn up the lights. And where is Lin?”
“Running late,” Adia replied.
“Smart dude,” Wayfara added. “He’s just coming for the dessert!”
Cassie glared at him before turning to Adia. “He’s running late? Is Jon coming with him?”
Adia nodded.
Todd and Wayfara, the only ones already seated, quickly stood. Turning, I realized what was happening. Coraline was the last to enter, her hands filled with napkins. Striding gracefully to the head of the table, the Holan sat down. Everyone followed her lead. Taking my seat between Ash and Julian, I gazed at the welcoming spread hungrily. Opposite me, the Arrowhearts were sitting flanked by Cassie and Wayfara. The seat opposite the Holan remained empty.
“You need a shave, Ash,” Coraline said, grinning at her brother. She served herself some lima beans. “Cassie, this looks fantastic. Thank you.”
“I second that!” Julian agreed.
“I third it,” Ash added.
“Nah,” Wayfara said. “There’s no point being fourth!”
“Thanks, Cassie,” I said. “This was so unnecessary and so nice!” I accepted my salmon filled plate from Todd, not missing the extra cream in passing, the smile of it sizzling amid the fish meat and adding flavor. I started with the Caesar salad before moving onto the baked potatoes and beans. Everything was delicious.
“How was Sweden?” Adia asked.
The Holan sighed. “Troublesome,” she replied. “They couldn’t care less about the decline of our kind in the States. Every Holan I met with was unwilling to supply Utopians, even as temps!”
“But then during your absence we uncover a new Utopian,” Adia said. “Our youngest ever and our first since my brother realized himself years ago.”
“When I got Ash’s call,” Coraline said. “I nearly flew in Gothenburg in broad daylight! I had so much energy! I just had to whoop! My baby brother was already Utopian! Mom and Dad would have been so proud. They would have been, Wayfara. You know that…”
There was a pause during which nobody’s eyes met.
“And now Annie’s a Dreamdrifter,” Coraline continued. “And she is our reason for gathering here tonight! Congratulations on your ascension, Annie. Your parents must also be proud. Where are they?”
“They’re both human,” I said, swallowing. “They don’t even know.”
“And that,” Coraline said. “Is even more impressive.”
Sensing the time was ripe, Ash grasped my hand before releasing it. “There’s some ice cream in the freezer,” he told me. “And it needs to thaw. Why don’t you put it on the counter?”
“Sure,” I responded, catching his wink.
“I’ll help,”