pages.
“Where’s Mom?” I asked.
“She ran out to get lemons,” Dad replied. “We’re having salmon tonight and I forgot lemons!”
“Oh!” I remembered. “For the guests! Who’s coming again?”
“Dr. Divion and Dr. Boliers,” Dad answered, opening the refrigerator. I recognized both names but with no excitement. Jonathan Boliers was the family doctor and friend who worked at Johns Hopkins Hospital and Linford Divion was a member of the psychology faculty at the University.
“Cool,” I said unconvincingly. “But how is that a surprise?”
Dad smiled. “We’re having other guests as well.”
“Who?” I asked.
He shook his head. “It’s a surprise!”
Sighing, I sat down at the kitchen table. In an attempt to distract myself from the gnawing unknown, I opened Mom’s psychology journal and began to read. Suddenly, I heard the front door open and then slam shut. Mom came in looking annoyed. She tossed her keys and purse on the counter. “They were out of lemons at both Weiss and Giant!” Mom exclaimed. “Why do the Arrowhearts have to be pescetarians?”
The psychology journal slipped from my hands and splashed on the floor, its pages askew. I stared at my parents in horror. “What?”
“Sarah!” Dad said. “You’ve ruined the surprise!”
I was flabbergasted. “You invited Dr. Arrowheart?”
“Martin did,” Mom said. “It was his idea.”
“Why!” I exclaimed.
Dad attempted to explain. “I thought it’d be a good bonding experience.”
“Bonding experience?” I repeated. This could not be happening. The dread was already heavy in my stomach, a brick filling its capacity.
“Martin,” Mom demanded. “We need lemons for the salmon! We have seven people to feed.”
“Seven!” I said. “Who else is coming?”
“Todd,” Dad replied. “Adia’s brother. Alright,” he continued, speaking to Mom. “I’ll go out again. We need more Pinot, anyway.”
“Get four bottles,” Mom instructed. Reaching down, she retrieved her psychology journal from the floor before leaving for the living room. Grabbing his keys from the counter, Dad also prepared to leave.
“It will be fine,” he reassured. “I bet you will thank me later for arranging the whole thing.”
“I don’t think so,” I said crossly. Secretly, however, I promised myself that I would lie if he asked me later. The hours passed surprisingly quickly. Sometime later Mom called up from the bottom of the staircase.
“The guests will be here in half an hour!” Mom said.
Dread filling me, I changed into a white, frilly summertime top. I was in the bathroom, comb in hand, attempting to get my short hair to poke around my ears when I heard them.
Knock! Knock! Knock!
The sound pinged around the room like my nerve wracked heart. My professor was outside the door. I heard the door open and voices fill the cave. They were all down there. They were all waiting for me. At the bottom of the stairs, however, I saw nobody. They had either moved to the kitchen or the patio outside. The dread almost unbearable now, I walked through the cave and into the kitchen.
Adia was sitting at the kitchen table with her legs crossed. The dreamcatcher earrings were gone, but the metallic dreamcatcher necklace of yesterday had been replaced by a sprawling, jewel lined one for today. It looked amazing on her, contrasting beautifully with her white dress.
“Hi, professor,” I said politely.
“Ms. McGallagher,” Adia replied. “It’s a pleasure to see you outside of class.”
I had to escape. My chance appeared along with Dad, his hands busy with a plate of grilled vegetables. Hurrying to assist him with the door, I leapt to freedom. Outside, the fish sizzled on the grill. The others were sitting around the patio table.
“Come join us, Annie,” Mom called. “Lin was just telling me some nice things about Dr. Arrowheart.” I went to join them, choosing a seat opposite Mom. Beside her sat Divion, a handsome man with curly brown hair.
“Speaking of which,” Boliers said. “We may as well talk about Adia while she can’t hear us.” Dr. Boliers was a rotund man nearing retirement. The family doctor, he was at least an annual guest. “So who’s got some dirt?”
“Me! Me! Me!”
The boy who had exclaimed gazed in my direction, shining me a beautiful, cream laced smile. His pearled teeth reflected Caribbean sand and his short, spiky dreads were adorable. He looked about my age. “If anyone’s got dirt on Adia, it’s me!”
“Out with it, Todd,” Boliers coaxed. “Tell us all!”
Todd rested his arms on the table. “Alright,” he began. “Once –”
“What’s happening out here?” Adia interrupted, strolling from the kitchen.
“Nothing, sis,” Todd said. “How’s life in the kitchen?”
“Could be better,” Adia answered. “This dog won’t leave me alone!”
“Oscar!” I called, half turning in my chair. “Here boy!” Oscar crept around Adia before scampering to my side. He sat down between me and Todd.
“Doggy!” Todd exclaimed, leaning over to scratch Oscar’s ears.
“That’s one cute dog, Annie,” Divion said.
“Suppertime!” Dad came busting out of the kitchen with the freshly doctored vegetable plate in hand. “Sorry for the delay.”
“As long as it’s good we’re happy to wait!” Boliers said.
“Speak for yourself, doc,” Todd said. “I’m hungry!”
“No one get up!” Dad demanded. “The grill is coming to you!”
The following hour wasn’t as terrible as I had foreseen. The banter was jovial and to my immense relief steered clear of academia for awhile. Adia hardly glanced at me for most of dinner, choosing instead to talk with my parents and their friends. But finally, as I had known it would, my luck ran out.
“Did anyone read Dr. Montframe’s article on behavioral economics in American Psychologist?” Mom asked. By now the store-bought blackberry pie had been served and the fourth bottle of wine trucked out.
“I read it,” Divion said. “It seemed like a paraphrase of his article in the APA Monitor. He ended it with the same conclusion and cited the same studies.”
“No he didn’t,” Dad said. “He may have cited some of the same sources, but his article in American Psychologist was different because he –”
“Wanna get out of here?”
Startled, I looked over. Todd was gazing at me, his smile stunning even in the choked light of dying day. Out of nowhere, I was breathless. “Sure,” I answered. “But where should we go?”
“Anywhere,” he said.
His smile spread to my face. “Let’s go.” Standing together, we snuck into the kitchen. Oscar hurried to follow our steps. The others were too distracted by their debate to notice our sudden escape. Back inside, I turned to Todd. “Should we go to the cave, upstairs, or just stay here?”
“What’s the cave?” Todd asked.
“The old cabin part of the house,” I answered, bored with my explanation. “The original building.”
“That’s so cool,” he said. “We live in an apartment.”
I was suddenly fascinated. What was Professor Arrowheart’s life really like? “Let’s go upstairs,” I said. With Oscar in our wake, we wound our way through the cave and up the staircase. Upstairs, I flicked on the light.
“Wow.” Todd’s voice was awed.
“Yeah,” I cringed. “It’s bad.”
“It’s great!” Todd exclaimed. “You have so much stuff!”
“Want to play Xbox?” I offered.
“Nah,” he replied. “I want to talk to you.”
Taken aback, I felt a huge impulse to cross my arms. I fought it off. “Okay,” I allowed. “What do you want to talk about?”
Sitting on my bed, Todd shrugged. “Ask me a question.”
This situation was reminding me of one I had experienced only yesterday
. Todd and Ash, however, were two very different boys physically. Todd’s smooth neck fell into a chest of iron and his arms were strapped with thick, bulging muscle. Black cheeks glistened with dew encrusted crystals above his cream filled smile that enticed a balloon of desire to arise in me like self-control about to pop.
“So?” Todd asked.
Realizing that I had been staring like a ghoul, I shook myself. “Oh, um…” Todd’s smile widened. “Okay,” I said. “I have a question!” I sat on the bed beside Todd, moving as Oscar jumped up beside me. My retriever always picked the wrong moment to be a guard dog. “Here goes.”
“Shoot,” Todd said.
“Give me some real dirt on Adia.”
“What’s real mean?” Todd asked.
My reply was easy. “Something she wouldn’t want me to know.”
Todd blinked. “Why do you want to know something that Adia wouldn’t want you to know?”
“If I answer honestly will you tell me?” I asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
“I want something real on Adia because I don’t like her,” I said. “And if I know a secret of hers it will make her more tolerable.”
Todd stared at me, his eyes incredulous.
“What?” I asked, feeling self-conscious.
“You guys are so… strange.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “You guys?”
“Girls!” Todd exclaimed. “You guys are so strange. Like how you think!”
“Okay,” I said, discarding his remark. “So are you going to tell me?”
“Were you honest?” Todd asked. I sensed that the question was rhetorical, for contractual purposes only. I nodded. “I knew you were too,” Todd continued, scratching his dreads.
“So?” I was losing patience. At any second we could be summoned downstairs and the moment would be lost.
“So…” he began. “Adia is responsible for many deaths.”
“What?” But I had heard every word.
“Don’t make me say it again,” he protested.
“Okay,” I said quickly. I didn’t have time to hate myself for asking. I was too surprised. Adia was responsible for many deaths? The idea seemed impossible and yet I somehow knew that Todd was being honest.
“How many?” I managed.
Todd looked uncomfortable. “I’d rather not –”
“Of course!” I interrupted, feeling that I had been rude. I attempted to distract him. “Ask me something now.”
He took a deep breath. “Do you have a boyfriend?” I hesitated, not sure of how to respond. Did Ash’s supposedly incoming text count for anything? Todd nodded quickly, misinterpreting. “I thought you would.”
“No,” I said slowly. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Do you want one?” Todd asked. My brain reeled for an answer. “Like if the right guy comes along?”
“Yeah,” I said. “That answer.”
Todd was smiling. “Ask me another question,” he said. I searched and then I saw. A black tail of ink, even darker than the rest of his skin, crept upward from where his t-shirt yielded to his thick, cascading neck.
I pointed to the marking. “What’s that?”
Puzzled, he looked down before looking up to give me his most creamy smile yet. “That’s my secret.”
“Can I see it?”
Todd hesitated and then nodded. Suddenly, he yanked off his shirt in one sudden, upward pull. Todd’s muscle strapped arms had only been a teaser, a cupcake to the wedding concoction that now sugared my eyes. But shock was registering in my brain and distracting pleasure, for emblazoned on his chest in black ink, its beautifully rendered feathers reaching down to gather around pontoon abs was a… but how could it be?”
“It’s a, it’s a —” I stammered.
“Yep!” Todd said happily. “It’s a dreamcatcher! Do you like it?” I stared at him in disbelief. “Are you okay?” Todd asked, his smile attempting to be interceptive. It didn’t completely fail.
“Yes,” I breathed, feeling winded. “I just –”
“Todd? Annie?” Dad called. “Are you upstairs?” Standing quickly, Todd replaced his shirt. “Todd? Annie?”
“We’re coming!”
Todd descended the staircase joyfully. I descended it incredulously. They were all waiting in the cave. Dr. Boliers, who had certainly enjoyed his share of wine, stumbled around the bottom stair as he made for the door.
Lin Divion shook my hand. “Nice seeing you, Annie.”
“Come on, Todd,” Adia said. “I have an early morning.”
“You have to teach our daughter,” Dad added.
“That’s right,” Adia acknowledged, moving to sweep her hair back and accidentally upsetting the dreamcatcher necklace.
My heart stopped.
Beneath where the dreamcatcher necklace had been was a jet black, curling tattoo. Either it was an exact clone of the necklace over it or the necklace was an exact clone of the tattoo under it. In a rush of movement, Adia realized what had happened and quickly realigned the necklace. The damage, however, was done.
“Night, Annie,” Todd said. “Mind if I drop in sometime?”
“Yes,” I said distractedly. “I mean no, visit.”
“Cool,” he said. “See you later!” In a haze of stunned fascination I waited while a few more handshakes and farewells were exchanged and then the door closed and they were gone.
“You and Todd seemed to get along,” Dad said, locking the door. “He’s a fine young man and I bet he has his sister’s smarts. Anyway,” he continued, rounding on me. “Was I right? I said earlier that you’d thank me for arranging dinner with the Arrowhearts. Was it worth it?”
Remembering the promise I had made to myself, my eyes found his. “It was worth it, Dad, thanks.”
The strangest thing about that lie was that it wasn’t one.
3. The Dream
Sunlight fell through the curtains and into the room, its rays bouncing and joyous. The flamboyant sun was wasted on me, however. A smile was already lighting my face. This happiness was beyond any I had known. Its song sang further, its beam burned farther.
Dad was standing between me and Mom, blocking my view of the hospital bed. I listened to their hurried discussion. Mom’s voice was tinged with agonized nerves. I caught glimpses of words, but I didn’t know what a C-section meant.
“Dr. Boliers will be here in a heartbeat,” said the nurse, smiling to my parents. “It looks like you’re almost ready.”
“Thanks, Adele.” Dad managed a weak smile. Mom managed a gasp, and looking around I saw her clutch her large, protruding belly. “Breathe, honey,” Dad said, but the worry was plain on his face. “We’re almost there!”
“Almost there!” Mom’s voice was furious. “This began thirteen hours ago and you’re telling me we’re almost there? This is supposed to be easier the second time around!”
“They’re doing all they can,” Dad reassured. “They’re trying to help.”
“Then why don’t I feel helped!” Mom yelled. Her face was shining with sweat and her hair was in a record breaking tangle.
Despite Mom, I was feeling fantastic. The warm day, the endless ice cream from the cafeteria, and the fevered excitement were combining wonderfully. Happiness buzzed around inside me like a bee dropping honey.
Above all was a single name: Alexi.
Alexi, my baby brother to be.
My parents had announced the news nearly nine months ago. Since finding out, I had become a kite. Beforehand I had only flown them.
Dr. Boliers trundled in looking calm but determined. He offered my parents an encouraging smile. “Adele said you’re ready. Are you ready?” Boliers asked. Mom was breathing hard and issuing pained moans.
“Yes, we’re ready,” Dad said, looking strained. His hands were clasped with Mom’s. I could see his veins popping. “We’ve decided against a C-section.”
“Alright then,” Boliers said, pulling on elastic cloves. “Number two, here
we come!” As Boliers spoke, Mom screamed in agony.
Dad turned. “Annie, it’s time to go!”
“Can’t I stay?” I begged. “I want to see Alexi born!” I recognized a rare opportunity. The clock in the room said that midday had passed but the clock was lying. It was about to be dawn.
“No!” Dad exclaimed. “Wait outside! I’ll come get you when he’s here.”
“Come with me, Annie.” Adele stood in the doorway, her hand outstretched. “You will have your little brother soon,” she promised. “Come, let’s give them space.” Resigned, I followed her. The door closed behind me. “Everything will be alright,” Adele said. “You don’t need to worry.”
“I’m not worried,” I sighed. “I just wanted to be there!”
Adele led me to a waiting alcove lined with chairs. “I need to help other patients,” she said. “Wait here until they call you back in.” She left quickly after directing me to a chair.
I felt cheated of a much anticipated experience. Gazing around the tidy alcove, I found distraction in the pattern on the floor. The carpet had squares, circles, and triangles… how inclusive. I wished my parents were as inclusive. Straining my ears, I tried to hear something from the nearby room. Stealing myself, I tiptoed back to the door. Putting my ear against it, I listened carefully.
“Breathe Sarah, breathe!” Dad’s voice was desperately charismatic.
Dr. Boliers was speaking. “You’re doing well but I need more. Push! Push!”
“PUSH!” Dad was loud, his timber ecstatic. “I can see his head, Sarah! I can see his head!”
A bolt of lightning hit me. Alexi was coming!
“PUSH! PUSH! PUSH!”
The magnitude of sound doubled, tripled, and died. My ears throbbed so much from the yelling that I thought I had gone deaf, but then the ringing stopped and the silence was real. Heart haywire, I knocked once upon the door.
The door opened. Dr. Boliers stared down at me. “The first ever caller on Alexi McGallagher,” he said. “Come on in!” My eyes went straight to the bed. They were there, all of them, three out of our family of four. Mom’s face was drenched in sweat, Dad’s soaked in tears.
Dad smiled through them. “Say hi to your little brother, Annie!”
Alexi looked comfortable in his blanket. An impossibly small hand grabbed at its fibers. I recognized my nose and question mark ears. I tried to say something but I couldn’t. I could not speak. The words would not come. I could only stare at him, my eyes wide and my mouth speechless.
The next thing I knew my face had turned into a waterfall. I was crying the hardest I had ever cried for joy. The happiness hurt. The love hurt. “Can I hold him?” I managed. “Can I? Please?”
Dad nodded. “Yes.”
“She can do more than that,” piped Dr. Boliers. “She can vaccinate him!”
“Oh! Oh! Can I?” Excitement was filling me, stemming my tears. Dad looked at Mom and she nodded. “Yay!”
Dr. Boliers took Alexi from Mom’s arms. “Come along, Annie.”
Following him, I watched him lay Alexi on a table. Retrieving a syringe, he began filling it. Waiting, I watched my baby brother. Alexi’s eyes were closed, but his tiny toes were taking turns extending forward and back. A small hand drifted to the smile on his lips.
“Look at this,” Dr. Boliers said.
My eyes followed his finger. Below Alexi’s neck was a faint mark, its contours round and curling. I frowned in confusion. “What’s that?”
“I don’t know,” Dr. Boliers said. “Ask him when he wakes. Anyway, it’s time for his vaccine! I will position