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“You wanted to talk,” Jess said, not walking any farther into the house. She seemed nervous now. I wasn’t sure what had changed from the car to here. She had been fine in the Hummer.
“Yeah, uh, not here. We could go outside. ” I stopped when she started shaking her head.
“No, let’s not,” she said softly.
The last time we’d been outside was memorable for both of us. She was right. That was a bad idea. I needed to focus. “Uh, yeah. Let’s go . . . ” Where the hell to take her? “Downstairs. It’s more comfortable down there. Less formal,” I finally said.
Jess nodded, and I started toward the stairs. Hearing the click of her heels on the marble floor made it difficult not to turn around and look at her legs. Not that I didn’t have a very clear mental image of them.
I started down the stairs and Jess stopped. Glancing back at her, I noticed she was gripping the railing tightly and having some internal battle with herself.
“Jess?”
She looked at me and shook her head. “I can’t. I shouldn’t have come here. ”
What the hell? I walked back up to the step underneath her. “Why?”
She took a deep breath. “Because—we will—we will—do stuff, and you’ll leave for Boston and I’ll be here and I’ll be sad and I’ll be alone and I can’t do that again,” she said in one long, rushed sentence, then turned to leave. I reached out and grabbed her before she could get away.
“Don’t leave. That’s why I want to talk. Yeah, I’m gonna have to leave, but I want to come back. Like I’m doing now. Like I did two weeks ago. I want to come see you. And I sure as hell don’t want you to be sad. ”
She got very still and stopped trying to move away from me. “What do you mean, you want to come back?”
“Exactly what I said. I want to see you. I miss you. ”
She didn’t look at me. “But why? You’re dating Star. Why do you want to come here?”
Those stupid fucking pictures. I shouldn’t have let them take those. I had witnessed firsthand how pictures like those had almost ended Jax and Sadie’s relationship. “She’s a friend. ”
“Oh” was all she said.
“Please come downstairs and talk to me,” I pleaded, sliding a hand around her waist.
She tensed at first, then seemed to melt back into me.
“Okay,” she finally said after a moment.
I didn’t take my hand off her this time for fear she’d decide to run again. We made it downstairs and I directed her to the closest sofa to get her comfortable.
She looked around the place. “It’s nice down here,” she said.
It was where Jax and I had hung out when we were younger. He had been limited to our small portion of the beach when we visited, so we had spent a lot of time down here playing video games and pool.
“I haven’t been down here in a while,” I admitted.
She glanced down at her hands, then finally up at me. “So, you want to visit me,” she said slowly, as if trying to understand what I had been saying.
“Yeah, I do. A relationship would be impossible, but that doesn’t mean we can’t still date. I can come visit. I can bring you to visit me if you want to. I just . . . This thing with us not talking sucks. I miss you. ”
Chapter Nineteen
JESS
A relationship would be impossible. That’s all I heard. Everything else he said didn’t make sense. What was it he wanted? A booty call?
“So you just want to hook up when you’re available and do what? Have sex?” I asked bitterly.
His eyes went wide and he shook his head. “No! God, no. That’s not what I mean. I meant just . . . date. The sex, well, yeah, it’s amazing, but that isn’t what I came here for. I wanted to see you. ”
Just not in a relationship. He wanted to be free to go on dates with Star and whatever A-lister came his way and also come see me. Yes, this pissed me off, but it shouldn’t have. He never promised me anything. Just because I wanted more didn’t mean he had to. He liked me. He wanted to date me. I was used to the possessive-type guys who wouldn’t share, so casually dating wasn’t something I had done much of.
Seeing him with other women would hurt. But was it worth it to have him, even if only for a little while? Could I do that? Maybe I needed to. Maybe it was time I learned how to date different people, to leave my options open. It wasn’t like I was looking for marriage and babies.
“Okay,” I finally said. This would probably come back to haunt me, but I wasn’t willing to let him go.
A slow smile spread across his entirely too handsome face. He’d gotten what he wanted: me and whoever else. I guess he had something to smile about.
“Okay. You’re open to seeing me when we can? And we can talk on the phone,” he added.
I was going to the long-distance-nonrelationship-while-in-college place. That made me sound weak. For giving in to something like this. It was as if I had settled for less. But I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not yet. Maybe soon I would be, but I wanted Jason Stone. Damn him.
His gaze dropped to my feet. “You’re wearing the boots I bought you,” he said with a pleased grin.
I nodded and swung the leg out that I had crossed. “Yep. ”
His eyes trailed up my legs and stopped to spend extra time on the tops of my thighs. I was dressed like a hooker. I knew it. I had done it out of stupidity. Of course he was looking.
“I’ll wear more clothes the next time,” I told him, trying to make a joke out of it.
His gaze jerked back to meet mine. “Sorry. I was, uh . . . ”
“You were checking out my short skirt. I know. I was in a mood tonight. ”
He cocked an eyebrow. “And that mood would be to see how insane you can drive every male you come in contact with?”
I shrugged and leaned back on the sofa. “Pretty much,” I replied honestly.
Jason laughed. “You succeeded. ”
“Thanks. I think,” I replied.
He leaned closer to me and picked up a strand of hair from my shoulder, then began playing with it. “I love your hair,” he said as he let it fall through his fingers.
I tried to say thanks, but I couldn’t manage to form the words.
“I want to kiss you. But I don’t want you to think that’s why you’re here,” Jason said.
My heart was speeding up, and I wanted to sigh from the way it felt to have him run his fingers through my hair. “I wouldn’t think you brought me here just for a kiss,” I assured him.
He leaned forward and nuzzled my neck, inhaling me. “If I kiss you, I’m gonna want more. We’ll do a lot more than just kissing,” he whispered.
I shivered from his warmth. I wanted that too. Maybe that was why I had come. It would be a lie to say I hadn’t thought about it. I turned my head and caught his lips in a kiss. His breathing stopped for a moment and his hand stilled in my hair. He was thinking. Trying to decide. I was going to have to push this.
I turned my body and slipped my leg over his before wrapping my hands around his neck. That was all it took. His hand was on my thigh, pulling me closer, before he took control of the kiss.
After months of thinking this was over and I’d never feel this way again, I couldn’t get close enough to him. All I could think was that if this was limited, then I wanted more. If it was possible to get my fill of this man, then I wanted to. Maybe next time it wouldn’t hurt as much.
Jason pushed me back on the sofa and covered me with his body. His mouth kissed my collarbone and the tops of my breasts, which were now pushing up from the top I was wearing. I closed my eyes so I could breathe. It was hard to take deep breaths when I could see his tongue dart out and lick my skin.
I reached for my shirt to pull it off, but his hands grabbed mine and stopped me. “Don’t,” he said as he rested his head against my chest, breathing hard. I didn’t move, waiting on him to do something or say something more. His ha
nd trailed down my side and cupped my hip, but he didn’t do anything else.
“Jason?”
“Yeah,” he replied in a hoarse whisper.
“Are you okay?”
“Give me a minute. ”
“Okay . . . but why?”
He pressed a kiss to my chest, then lifted himself off me. “Because this isn’t why you’re here. And as much as I want to take whatever you’re willing to give, I can’t do that. ”
I sat up beside him. “But it is why I’m here. We decided to date. ”
Jason grinned and rubbed his jaw. “Still need a minute, Jess. ”
I reached up and grabbed his arm. “Explain to me what you mean. ”
He turned and looked at me. He reached out and moved the strap of my top back up to my shoulder, where it had slipped from, then ran his finger down my arm. “When I go back to school Sunday and you’re left here all week to think about this, I don’t want you convincing yourself that all this was a ploy for me to get in your pants. ”
Damn, he was sweet. I leaned toward him, wanting him to touch me some more. “I won’t think that. Besides, I’m not wearing pants,” I reminded him teasingly.
He let out a short laugh. “How could I forget?” he replied.
I leaned over and kissed his neck, and he groaned. “I want this,” I said.
“I want it more. Trust me. But I want you to know that’s not all I want. ”
This whole not touching me to prove he cared thing was doing it for me. He could teach a Seduction 101 class. Or one on the fastest way to get a woman naked. “I’m not ready to go home yet. ”
Jason put his arm around me and pulled me against his side. “Me neither. Tell me what I’ve missed the past three months, but leave out the details with the singer. ”
He wanted to talk. But he was still going to hold me. I moved closer to him, and he reached for my legs and threw them over his lap. This was by far more dangerous to my heart than if he had screwed me tonight.
“Not a lot,” I replied.
“That’s not true. You said you got a job sewing. Tell me about it. ”
I laid my head back on his arm and smiled. I liked talking about my job, but no one ever asked me.
JASON
It was soft and warm and smelled fucking amazing. I pulled it closer and buried my head against it. A soft moan and a shift in just the right area woke me from the dream to reality. Opening my eyes, I realized Jess was the soft, delicious body I was trying to climb inside of. She was tucked against my chest. At some point we had fallen asleep on the sofa and had managed to spoon. I moved my hand, to find it full of bare, soft flesh. Shit, I was feeling her up in my sleep.
She pressed the boob I was holding into my hand and let out a soft moan. The semi hard-on I had went to full blown in seconds. I knew I should move my hand. She was sleeping and vulnerable. I knew I shouldn’t be touching her tits. Although they felt like heaven.
Her legs were tucked in between mine, and her perfect, round ass was pressing against my erection. How the hell was she sleeping through this? Slowly I moved my hand away from her, using all my willpower not to go back and play with the hard nipple that brushed my palm. Slipping my hand out of her shirt, I moved her top down as far as it would go, which wasn’t very far. It left a small portion of her stomach bare. I rested my hand over her shirt and as far away from her extremely tempting chest as possible.