Chapter Thirty
They weren’t there when I got back.
I ran into the big house and found Seraph in the huge room Brea had taken me to when I’d spoken with Seraph that first time. She ran toward me when she saw my face meeting me halfway across the room. “We were attacked by Baobhan Siths. Nicholas is hurt. Toryn is there at the beach.” She closed her eyes and when she opened them the double doors opened and Brea came through them.
“They’re almost back, get Madric,” Seraph told Brea. She kissed my forehead and said, “You did the right thing. You were supposed to leave. Nicholas and Toryn are back.”
“Where are they?” Seraph held onto my hand.
“Nicholas is very badly wounded, Kellan. You must let the healer work with him.” More tears poured from my eyes as Seraph continued, “Go to your room. The house is being guarded by the pack. You must not leave the house.”
“I need to be with Nicholas.”
“You will do as you are told.” She nodded and only then did I realize we weren’t alone. Two men came forward from the corners of the room and escorted me back to my room. I stared blindly into the space, still standing next to the door when they closed and locked it.
I prayed for Nicholas and I tried to send him my love on the wind. I also sent threats that I would kill him if he died. Yes, I realize the stupidity of the message. Hours passed and I only noticed the book on my bed because I sat on it. It was a Gaelic dictionary. I knew Barthow had been the one to put it there.
When Nicholas had been attacked there had been nothing I could do to help him. This driving self-loathing, and the feeling of helplessness, was all I could concentrate on to keep me from considering what might have become of Nicholas after this long and having no word.
I got the black book out of my luggage and opened it up. It was slow going looking up almost every word, but I’d gotten quite far by the time my door was unlocked and Seraph, Brea and Isabeau came through it. I’m pretty sure my heart stopped beating while I waited for one of them to tell me.
“He’s alive,” Seraph said as Isabeau closed the door.
“I want to see him.” I jumped off my bed, and Brea came forward and caught me before I neared the door.
“Nicholas was very badly wounded, Piper. He lost a lot of blood.”
I asked, “But he’ll be okay?” Seraph looked away and Isabeau covered her mouth as her eyes filled with tears. “He’ll be okay won’t he?”
“I’m sure he’ll pull through but right now he’s not awake. There is a poison in the bite of a Baobhan that is still in him.” Brea glanced back at Seraph before continuing. “When he wakes up he may not be the same. Nicholas was scarred, and while he’s still unconscious more damage is taking place. He may not heal fully.”
Nicholas was lying in a bed dying because he had fought for me. I didn’t care about scars. “I want to see him now.”
“Toryn is the alpha while Nicholas is unable to serve as alpha.” I stared at Brea wondering why that mattered.
Seraph came forward and took my hands in hers. “The Baobhans know who you are and they want you. You must have an alpha to protect you, angel.” I pulled my hands from hers. “Toryn is your intended now. He is whole and strong enough to keep you from harm.”
“You can call him whatever you want but Nicholas is the man I love. I will not marry Toryn.”
“Give her time,” Brea told Seraph.
“I don’t need time.” I went around them to Isabeau. “Take me to Nicholas.” Bless Isabeau, she didn’t even hesitate but led me from the room, and the two men who had locked me in followed us as Isabeau led me to another wing of the big house. Toryn was in the hallway leaning against the wall where Isabeau slowed. “He’s in there.” I looked Toryn over for injuries. He seemed to be in one piece. At least he wasn’t in the same boat as Nicholas. I went into the room.
Nicholas’ face held three long, red, angry slashes starting under his right eye and ending at his collarbone. Stitches crisscrossed through the cuts all the way down. There were bite marks on his shoulders, too many for me to count through my tear-blurred vision. I sat in the chair next to his bed and held his hand. It was limp and cold in mine.
I didn’t want him to know that I was crying, or that I was terrified. I wanted to be strength for him, to help him fight and come back to me. It took me a little bit before I dared talk out loud. “I was in my room earlier and I realized the other night when you said you wanted to go and visit Sidney what you were really saying was that you wanted her to know you better. You were listening to me when I told her I wouldn’t sleep with a guy she didn’t know really well.”
The lump in my throat was so big I could barely breathe around it. The red cuts all over his skin and face made him almost unrecognizable, and the contrast of the red against the deathly pale skin made me start shaking again. “I need you, Nicholas.” I climbed onto the bed next to him and laid my head on his chest and begged him not to leave me.
Donnell was the one who lifted me from Nicholas and carried me from the room. Isabeau and Toryn were yelling at each other when we came out into the hallway and Donnell set me down. “Take her back to her room,” Donnell said to Isabeau. “You stay away from my grandson’s wife.” He pointed at Toryn.
“I am alpha,” I heard Toryn say and Isabeau was pulling hard to keep me walking. I looked back at Toryn, and he was watching me. His eyes were red and the skin around them swollen but there was intensity in them.
“Come on, Piper. I’ll bring you back to see Nicholas in a little while.” I didn’t see Donnell anymore and wished he had come with us. “You should lock your door, Piper. Toryn is… being really stupid right now and…” She looked back. “I would lock my door if I were you.”
I didn’t care about whatever Toryn’s problem was. I just wanted Nicholas to wake up. I had read in the black book that the Baobhans had fangs like snakes. They injected their poison into their victims with each bite. They were strong too, far beyond that of regular human beings. They had claws too and they could grow in size. I’d seen that myself.
They had hypnotic voices and eyes they used to lead their victims to their deaths. I suspected they were probably where the legends of vampires had been created as they too drank and survived from the blood of their victims, but they had no problem being out in daylight. I had yet to discover a weakness of the Baobhans in the book.
Seraph was still in my room when we got back and Isabeau left me with her. I went to the desk and sat down on the stool. “I am surprised that Conrad allowed you to borrow this book.” She tapped the hard cover of the black book. I turned toward the mirror and looked at her in its reflection. “I know you are hurting, Piper.” She came to stand behind me.
Her hands raised and then set on my shoulders. “I’m not very good at comforting. But I want you to know that I love you and should you need me, just let me know.” I nodded. She withdrew her hands from my shoulders. “I will be going to see Nicholas’ family. I expect you will be fully released from their service.”
“Nicholas never released me. I have already told you that I am choosing who I marry and it won’t be Toryn.” She didn’t say anything. I watched her leave my room and tried to understand how she had become as cold as she was.
Does she really think I can just forget that I’m in love with Nicholas?
I took the black book and dictionary and went back to Nicholas’ room by myself. I spent the night in his room, though I couldn’t lie next to him because Madric had to keep coming in to change bandages and use his concoctions on Nicholas. He let me help dress the wounds that were above the waistline and didn’t kick me out of the room as I was afraid he was going to do.
When morning came and Nicholas still had not woken up Madric said that he was going to move Nicholas closer to his own house. He lived outside of Seraph’s house and I knew I would not be allowed to go and see him without escorts and Seraph’s permission. I tried to talk Madric into letting him remain i
n the big house, but he insisted. Nicholas needed his help more than my presence.
Toryn was in my room when I returned. He was sitting at the table near the window. “Yes, I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”
“I can see that. I’m glad you’re not hurt, Toryn.” I re-opened my door. “Get the hell out of my room.”
“How can you be mad at me for this? I came and saved both of your lives. Is it my fault that he’s not strong enough to be alpha anymore? I’m not the Sith that almost killed him, Piper.” He came toward me. “Nicholas did his duty as the alpha. Now I am the alpha and I will do my duty. You are mine to have and protect as is my right as alpha.”
“I have retained the right to choose and you are not who I will choose.”
“You’ll choose Nicholas? All you know is Nicholas. All he’s shown you is lust. Let me love you, Piper. Let me make you the woman you were meant to be.”
I glared at him. “I am who I am meant to be.”
He closed his eyes and wiped his hands harshly down his face. “That’s not what I meant.” Toryn stood facing me with not much space between us. I didn’t want to back down from him so I kept my feet planted. “You were meant to be with me, Piper. I want you to come to see this so I forbid you to see Nicholas.”
“Then you’d better let Seraph know that I will be breaking the rules of the alpha.”
Toryn shook his head. “He is outside of the house of your protection and only the pack can escort you from the house. My pack.” He reached for my hand, but I pulled it away. “If you will give me a chance to win you then I will let you see him.”
“You just blew the only chance you ever would have had. I have no respect for a man that has to force me to do anything or who thinks he has the power to forbid me from anything.”
“I hope you’ll change your mind.” He left my room, and I slammed my door behind him. Again, I was helpless and I didn’t like it. So, I went back to translating the book. If I could learn enough to protect myself, I could go to Nicholas without an escort at all.
My brain was throbbing and I had to stop because after studying for the last four hours some of the information was not sticking. I had to take a break.
The Baobhan Sith that stood next to me on the pier was hundreds of years old. He was called Cayden, which was a Gaelic name that meant spirit of battle. There weren’t many pictures of the Baobhans in the book, but Cayden was sketched in by a very skilled artist.
Toryn brought me lunch and I glared at him as he set the tray down at the table and seated himself in the seat across from the tray. “Can’t you see this from my point of view at all? I have been waiting for you my entire life and right before you finally get here I don’t get to have you. I’ve had to watch as Nicholas has put his hands all over you.
“I’ve stood aside while he kissed you when you were supposed to be mine.” He fisted his hands and said almost inaudibly, “I had to hear you wanting him.”
My face burned red and I stood up. “Then why do you want me? You heard how I feel about Nicholas. You know that I want him. Why would you want someone who doesn’t want you?”
Toryn came over to me and I tried to guess what he was going to do next. “I know you want me too, Piper. If you didn’t you would not have set me free from Brynn, and you would not have been jealous of her when she was with me.” I swallowed and moved to take a step back but he grabbed my arms right above my elbows. “Fate has set everything back where it was always supposed to be.”
“I don’t want you.” I pushed against his chest. “You’ve hurt Nicholas by kissing his intended before. Don’t do it to him again.”
“Nicholas has yet to awaken. Many of our healers do not believe he will.” I struggled in his arms, and he hugged me against his chest. “I’m sorry but you have to start to see the reality of all this.” He pinned me to him with one arm and stroked my hair with his free hand. “I’m sorry, don’t cry.” He kissed my forehead and then my cheek. I felt his breath on my mouth.
I pictured him as Nicholas and opened up my mind so that he could hear my thoughts. He released me like I’d burned him. “I want to see him, Toryn.”
“Don’t ever do that again.”
“Please let me see him.”
“Fine.” He threw up his hands and then went and opened the door for me. He must have seen the surprise on my face because he said, “I’m not a monster, Piper. I’m just trying to help you. I will take you to see for yourself.” He made me wait until three more of the pack came to the house to escort me to Nicholas.
Donnell was there and if it were actually possible for him to shoot daggers from his eyes, Toryn would have been dead. Nicholas looked just as bad as the last time I’d seen him. His lips were turning bluish. I sat next to him and held his hand in mine again. I could feel his pulse, and it was weak.
“Nicholas, I need you to wake up,” I whispered to him. “I need you.” Toryn left the room and Donnell followed after him. I got in bed with him again and put his arm around me. I sang to him, and I told him how much I loved him. I was mad at myself for waiting until he wasn’t conscious to say those three words to him.
Continuing to talk and sing to him, I told myself that maybe he was lost and I was leading him back with my voice. I traced the scars and bites with my fingers and cried because I knew they were there because of me.
Toryn came back in first then Donnell and Conrad Nicholas’ father came in after him. “I’m glad you’re here.” He said but I didn’t look at him. I knew they were going to make me leave. Even so, it was strange to hear Conrad say something nice to me at all. “I have not released you yet, but I will should you ask me.”
“Please don’t.” I looked at him. “You aren’t going to start being nice to me now, are you? I want to continue to serve Nicholas and his family.”
“That is not what Seraph meant by giving you this act of service,” Toryn said and offered me his hand. “Nicholas may need peace to heal. It’s time to return you to the house.”
“She can stay as long as she wants,” Donnell yelled startling us all. “You’re a greedy little fool and you don’t deserve her.” He jabbed his finger in Toryn’s direction.
“I know you’ve had a difficult few days, Donnell. So I’ll forgive your insults to the alpha.” Toryn lifted me from the bed and then set me down next to him. “I loved her first, have you forgotten that?”
They continued to argue, and I took the opportunity to kiss Nicholas goodbye. It wasn’t a goodbye forever kiss just a goodbye for now. “Come back to me, Nicholas.” I smoothed back his black hair and thought he might have better color. Everyone stopped arguing. They all watched me, but I didn’t care. Nicholas was so far away from me with all these stupid safety rules I was bound by. Toryn, I was sure would follow through in making me earn my next visit.
“It’s time to go, Piper.”
“Will you make sure I’m informed if he wakes before I return?” I glanced over at Toryn and wasn’t surprised to find his face completely red. “I’d like to stay with him.” I told him despite his obvious anger. I wanted to throw a fit and refuse to go, but what if all the yelling and anger chased Nicholas deeper into that black abyss?
“No.” He sighed looking down at Nicholas. “The pack has to protect the clan. I can’t keep them just standing around.” Toryn placed my hand gently at the inside of his elbow and led me from the room and into one where Madric was mixing something in a bowl.
Toryn took me back to my room. “Goodnight, Kellan. Tomorrow you’ll find many things will be different.” His smile promised me his estimation was accurate. “You are mine to have and protect, Kellan.” His easy going demeanor was absent from his face. “I mean to do both.”