"Yes, it is. And especially for someone as intelligent and strong-minded as I
believe you are. Herm spoke of you as Kate during dinner, and I think I can make
an educated guess . . ."
"As opposed to picking my brains, you mean?" Katherine's face underwent a
transformation, going from serious to reflective to amused in only a second. "We
met over a portrait I was doing, but the first thing we did together was attend
a performance of The Taming Of The Shrew. A very poor production, but after that
I was his Kate. But I never realized until a few days ago how like Petruchio
Herm actually is! Not a fortune hunter, of course, since I haven't one. I mean,
I have watched him connive for ten years now, and I always thought it was
charming, the way he could manipulate his fellow Senators. Now I discover he was
gulling me, too, deceiving me just like he did those men and women, and it isn't
the least bit charming! I want to kick him in the shins!"
"Katherine, people deceive one another all the time, for much less important
reasons than the safety of a planet. If a week goes by that Mikhail does not
keep something from me that I believe I should be informed of, it is a miracle."
Right now, he is closeted with my father and Danilo Syrtis-Ardais and Dani
Hastur and who knows what other people, plotting and scheming, and when he tells
me what he wishes to, I will have to pretend to be delighted.
"But, you could . . ."
"Yes, I could listen in-but I wasn't raised to be a snoop either! And I have to
tread carefully, Katherine, because there are many who mistrust me, who think I
have too much influence as it is, over my husband and my father." She looked
down at her hands again. "I was granted a peculiar power, and Mikhail was given
another-so between the two of us we can do remarkable deeds. There are quite a
number of people who refuse to believe that we would never use what we have to
force our wills on others-my mother-in-law among them. I think this is mostly
because if she had the capacity, she would use it, and she cannot imagine that
we would not." She sighed softly.
"But you haven't? It must be very hard to resist the temptation, Marguerida."
"No, not really. Oh, if I could turn Javanne into a toad, that might be pretty
irresistible. Fortunately, laran doesn't function like that. It still follows
all the rules of the universe."
"What do you mean by that?"
"You know-all that matter into energy stuff. With my particular laran, I can
convert, with a great deal of effort, some matter into energy, or the other way
around, and so can Mikhail. Hmm . . . I could, for instance, cause your tablet
to burst into flame-well, in theory at least. I have never tried such a thing.
But I can't turn my mother-in-law into something else."
"However much you might like to."
"Exactly. But everything in Darkover society comes down to keeping the various
parties in a balance of powers. Otherwise we would tear the fabric of our
culture to shreds. In the past, we have almost done just that, and the gifts
that Mikhail and I possess are all too similar to things that come from our
history for anyone's complete comfort. So I still have to act like a proper
Darkovan female, and defer to the menfolk! All right-pretend to defer!"
Marguerida felt her face redden with fury. She had to get a grip on herself
before she said more. "I have learned to trust Mikhail to manage his part of the
job, and to spend my energies doing mine. It is the hardest thing I have ever
done in my life."
"Trust?"
"Do you trust Herm?"
"I did, until a week ago."
"No, Katherine, that is not what I mean. Do you think that your husband is a
capable man, who can make decisions well?"
"Yes, he is that. Actually, he is so sharp it's a wonder he doesn't cut himself,
as we say on Renney. And he hasn't done things in the past to make me worry. No
mistresses or fiddling with the account books. But he isn't the same man I
married any longer."
"Yes, he is. Herm is exactly the man you married, only now you are aware of a
portion of him that you didn't imagine existed before. He is still a bit of a
rascal, a charming fellow who cannot help being manipulative. No mistresses? He
must love you very much."
"As far as I know, he has been a paragon of faithfulness. Oh, I've seen him
flirt occasionally, but it was usually with Senators from other planets, whom he
wanted to vote a certain way." She paused for a moment. "My Nana said he was
like a cattle trader, always looking for a good purchase, feeling up the legs
and checking the teeth."
"But did she think he was an honest trader?"
"Umm, not entirely. She said he had a secret, and that it was probably a wife
and six children here. I think I would have been relieved if that had turned out
to be the case. Another wife I could deal with. The six children would have been
a bit of trouble, I suppose." She chuckled softly over the idea. "I could have
been a wicked stepmother, after I poisoned the other wife, and drove the
children into exile or something."
"Well, to be really truthful, Herm might indeed have some nedestro offspring up
in the Hellers, although I think that Robert Aldaran or Gisela would probably
have mentioned it to me if they knew of any. He was in his twenties when he left
here, and likely he was not celibate. But it seems to me that you already knew
he was concealing something from you, at some deep and almost instinctive
level."
"Nedestro. I know the word, but I never really thought about the ramifications
of it. Hmm . . . I guess I did know something was going on. Oh, Marguerida, I
know I am being difficult. And maybe after a few years I will adjust to
Darkover. But right now, I just want to scream with frustration."
"Go ahead. The walls of Comyn Castle have heard things over the centuries that
would curl your hair. And do not hesitate to come to me when you are troubled,
please. I want to help you."
"Thank you. I'll try. But it isn't easy for me, because I am not a confiding
sort of woman. Actually, except for my Nana, I haven't ever found the company of
my sex very interesting, and I don't make friends easily. I love my husband and
my children, but truthfully, I am more comfortable with my pigments and brushes
than with most other people. Hmm . . . if what you suggested a few minutes ago
is real, and I am extra empathetic, it would explain a great deal."
Katherine looked at Marguerida for a moment after she stopped speaking, and
realized that in time she might indeed become friends with her. It was a
somewhat surprising realization, and it was followed by another-that her
troubled sister-in-law had become another. Funny-two nights before Gisela would
have been the last person she could imagine liking, but after their talk in the
carriage, everything had changed. And now Herm was away on some mysterious
errand, leaving her alone among strangers. That most of them were relatives of
some kind made the whole thing even more difficult. She had better just stop
fretting and start learning how to cope with Darkover! Kate had her children
to
think of, didn't she?
"I feel the same way about music. And I will take your words as a hint to go
away and let you get on with what you are doing. I won't press you any further."
She wanted to ask questions about Amedi Korniel, but decided that it would keep
for the present. "Well, I do have a favor to ask you-two, really."
"What is it?"
"My son Roderick shows a certain talent for drawing-at least when he gets bored
and can't think of any mischief to get into, he takes colored chalks and puts
them on any wall he likes. They are rather pretty, even though I cannot allow
them to remain. Could you bring yourself to tutor him a bit?"
"I would be happy to. And the other favor?"
"Do you think you might ask Gisela to sit for a portrait? I know you did not get
off to a good start, but she is so unhappy, and I believe it would please her."
Katherine gave Marguerida a bemused look, with something secretive but not
unpleasant in it. "She would make an excellent subject," was all the answer she
gave, but her dark eyes glinted with interest.
"Fine. And now I will leave you to work. I will see you later in the day."
Marguerida was rather puzzled as she left Katherine's studio. But she was
satisfied that she had eased some of Kate's fears, and let the matter go from
her mind. She had not gone ten feet down the corridor before all her own
concerns rushed back. Katherine had distracted her for a brief while, and she
realized that she had gotten as much relief from the visit as she had given. She
had to wait, to be patient. It was very hard to be a middle-aged woman with
duties, when she really wanted to rush off and do something-anything! And then
the grief returned, as if it had been waiting to capture her emotions once more.
"Damn you for dying, Regis. Your timing was off for once," she muttered, and
felt her eyes go blurry with fresh tears.
Katherine did not return to her sketching after Marguerida left, but sat and
stared out the window, thinking about what had been said in a disordered sort of
way. Her mind was tired and she knew that she could not make sense of anything
right away, which irritated her greatly. Talk to Ida Davidson, Marguerida had
said. It sounded simple and sensible, but Kate was not sure she could just walk
up to a total stranger and voice her concerns. No, she would wait for a while
and see what happened. But it was good to know that she was not the only
inhabitant of Comyn Castle who was frustrated and angry.
For a time she considered the matter of empathy. That was a normal human trait,
wasn't it? And yet on Darkover it seemed to be something more-one of these Gifts
that people kept mentioning. She could endure being empathic, she supposed.
Marguerida's explanation sounded plausible at least.
When another knock came at the door, she could not decide whether she was glad
or annoyed at a further distraction. "Come in."
It was Gisela, looking a little shy and wary of her welcome. She was wearing a
russet tunic and darker skirt, not dissimilar from the clothing she had brought
Katherine the previous day. "Hello. Am I interrupting you terribly?"
"Not at all. I was just woolgathering." Had Marguerida told Gisela to come so
quickly? Katherine was not ready to start a portrait yet-she would require
something for the model to sit on, and there was only the stool-but she could
make a few sketches.
"Good." Gisela looked her up and down. "Kate, why are you wearing a riding
skirt?"
"Is that what this is?" Kate tugged at the folds of her lower garment. "I was
looking for something comfortable, that wouldn't show the dirt. Is it improper?"
"No, not exactly, but it looks rather eccentric with an apron!" She gave a
little giggle, then sobered. "I hardly slept last night."
"I am sorry about that."
"Don't be! I was thinking about what you said in the carriage and I was just too
excited to close my eyes until nearly dawn. Are you well, Kate? You look like
you did not get much more sleep than I did."
"Yes, I am fine." Katherine repressed a yearning to talk to Gisela about Herm.
She liked her new sister-in-law, but she was not yet sure how trustworthy she
was. "It is just taking me a while to get adjusted to Darkover, I think."
"You seem worried."
"Do I?"
"Still fussing about people poking into your mind?"
"Yes, a little, I suppose." With a slight start, Katherine realized she had
managed to go for nearly half an hour without thinking about that problem at
all. How unkind of Giz to remind her of it.
"Well, don't." She hesitated again, shuffling her feet back and forth under her
long skirts. "Can I show you something?"
Katherine looked at her, and now she noticed that she could sense something of
the mood of the other woman. It was very odd, and she felt very uncomfortable
for a moment. But all that she could feel was excitement in Gisela, with none of
the other darker emotions Kate now realized she had noticed on the previous day.
How much, she wondered, of this sort of thing had she refused to acknowledge
over the years? Maybe Marguerida was right. "Certainly, as long as it is not
something horrid."
Gisela looked stricken and shook her head. "Kate, I swear to you that I will
never do anything mean again! I want you to be my friend! I need you to be my
friend!" Tears glistened in the vivid green eyes and she trembled.
Katherine set aside her sketchpad and stood up slowly, moved and just a little
frightened by this outburst. Then she crossed the space separating them and put
her arm around Gisela's shoulders. She could smell the faint scent of lavender
in the cloth and some perfume as well. "There, there. Don't cry, dear.
Marguerida just asked me to do your portrait," she added, frantically trying to
think of some way to stem the wave of despair that was wracking her
sister-in-law and grasping at the first thing that came to mind.
"Really? And did you tell her you already asked me to sit for you?"
"No, I didn't. She thought it would please you, and I didn't wish to . . ."
Gisela straightened against her. "That was very kind of her, wasn't it? After
everything?"
"I think that Marguerida is probably a very kind person, Gisela, and genuinely
wants everyone around her to be happy."
Gisela wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. "She hasn't had much luck with me,
has she?" There was a rueful tone to her voice. "Do you know how much time I
have wasted hating her?"
"No, and I really don't want to."
"Good-because it makes me very ashamed. And I don't like that at all." She
sighed, shrugged her shoulders under Kate's light embrace, then made a comical
face. "You see before you a reformed Aldaran."
Impulsively, Kate took Gisela's chin in her hand, looked intently into her face,
and said, "Yes, I can see the virtue almost seeping from your pores."
To her delight, Gisela giggled. "There is not another person, even Rafael, I
would let tease me like that, dearest sister. Somehow, from you, it does not
hurt."
"I am glad of that. Now, you were going to show me something." Katherine
 
; released Gisela, finding that she was not entirely at ease with the intimacy of
contact. Is this why I paint portraits then, to be close but not too close?
Gisela plunged her hand into her beltpouch and took out a small object. "It was
in my jewelry box, and I remembered it when I was getting dressed this morning."
She opened her hand. A little figure, about six inches in length, lay across her
palm. The wood was dark with age, and the carving was crude, but it was powerful
nonetheless. "It is the last thing I made before my nurse . . . made me stop."
Kate took the small figure and turned it over. She noticed how Gisela had used
the grain of the wood to good advantage, only removing enough to suggest folds
of cloth below, and a face above that was simple but moving. On the back of the
carving, there was still some bark left, rough and dark. She could see the marks
left by some crude instrument, not a carver's chisel but something less deft.
One of the belt knives that everyone seemed to wear, Kate suspected, and not a
very good tool for the job demanded of it.
"I don't think you need to worry much about being good, Giz. Any sculptor I know
would have been pleased to make this."
"Thank you."
"Will you tell me something now?"
"Anything."
"Why did you come to me yesterday?"
"Oh, that."
"Yes, that."
"I . . . don't know, not really. I was ready to hate you, and after I saw you
the first time, it got worse. And then, at dinner, when Danilo Syrtis-Ardais
took me to task, because he took one look at you in your Terranan finery and
knew exactly what had happened, I suddenly realized that I was behaving like a
fool-that I didn't need to have you for an enemy." She shivered slightly. "It
didn't cross my mind, when Rafael came back from the spaceport with all of you,
that you could even want to be my friend, because I never imagined anyone would
want that. I always wanted a sister, you know. But I had ruined things for
myself with Marguerida, and here I was, starting off to mess everything up with
you. So-I took a risk. I was scared to death, but I knew if I didn't at least
try, I would regret it for the rest of my life."
"I am glad you did, Gisela. I have several sisters, but they are halfway across
the galaxy, and I expect I will never see them again now. You were very brave."